I have tended to enjoy Kate Beckinsale in many of her movie choices, no matter how dubious they have been. Wildcat feels like a low point though. It's a horrible slice of mockney nonsense so dire that it will make you wish you could go back in time and enjoy the many other Guy Ritchie imitators that you once thought were scraping the bottom of the lock, stock, and two smoking barrels.
Beckinsale plays Ada, a woman who has to come up with a plan to pay off debts accrued by her problematic brother, Edward (Rasmus Hardiker). No worries though, because Ada knows just what to do, and she'll pit a couple of criminal giants against one another. Those criminal giants are Mrs. Christina Vine and Frasier Mahoney, played by Alice Krige and Charles Dance, respectively.
I almost gave up on writing that all-too-brief plot summary. The very thought of this film has me wanting to put my head through my laptop screen. It's THAT bad. Writer Dominic Burns takes every cliché in the tough geezer/audacious robbery playbook and mixes them all together without an ounce of wit or intelligence. He's obviously relying on his cast, but they seem unable to figure out exactly where they should pitch their performances.
Director James Nunn has some decent stuff in his filmography, and his next film, Hungry, is one that I am hoping will be a bit of fun. This has to be a strong contender for the worst thing that he's helmed, and I am saying that with the knowledge that he also directed The Marine 5: Battleground and The Marine 6: Close Quarters. I can see where this could have been turned into something moderately amusing and fun, but almost everything is ruined by the laziness and ineptitude of the writing and performances.
Beckinsale is a particular liability, considering that the film seems to have been crafted to be carried along by her name. She never feels like a believable character, and actually seems to be tired of the whole thing by the time the first scene plays out. I don't know why Krige and Dance agreed to be in this, and they're so far removed from doing what they're capable of that I wish they'd been able to refuse whatever pay they were offered for this. Lewis Tan tries to do well in his main supporting role, and is believably smitten with Beckinsale's character, but he's the only one who seems to be making any effort. Hardiker does nothing with a nothing role, and I'm going to do everyone else a favour by simply not mentioning them.
I worried when this ended, partly about the damage I had inflicted upon my own psyche and partly about the fact that people involved in the making of this may have thought they were working on something good. If they thought they were doing good work then they should be kept away from most future features. If they knew they were making trash then . . . they should be kept away from most future features.
2/10
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