Showing posts with label amelia curtis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label amelia curtis. Show all posts

Sunday, 8 May 2022

Netflix And Chill: FeardotCom (2002)

A film from the early 2000s that is all about a criminal apparently making use of the internet to ensnare victims, Feardotcom couldn't date itself any more if it tried. It doesn't help that it is helmed by William Malone, an inconsistent director who also gave us the fantastic remake of House On Haunted Hill and the sheer lunacy of Parasomnia. Malone likes to deliver films that have moments full of quickly-edited disturbing, sometimes mind-bending, imagery, and this is no different. It's just not as good as anything else he's done.

The basic plot concerns a killer (played by Stephen Rea) who is may or may not be infecting people with the help of a very dangerous website. Stephen Dorff is Mike, a detective who wonders why this killer is using the same method that led to him previously being caught, and Natascha McElhone is Terry, an employee from the Department Of Health, involved in the case because the first one or two victims have show initial signs of a virus being the cause of their deaths. With it being revealed that every victim ended up visiting www.feardotcom.com before they died, both Mike and Terry make the absolutely logical and sane decision to, ummmmm, visit www.feardotcom.com, which leads to dangerous hallucinations and paranoia. Can they keep themselves focused enough to catch the killer? MAYBE it would have been easier if they hadn't logged into the fucking website that seems to have killed off everyone else who visited it.

I have nothing good to say about FeardotCom, and this review could have easily been one profanity-laden stream of consciousness. The performances aren't great (Dorff is okay, McElhone has often just been a bit dead-eyed in her performances, Rea is aiming for a career low, and Jeffrey Combs is sorely underused), the visuals are downright ugly throughout, and the plot is just as ridiculous as anything churned out most months by The Asylum. I'm not surprised that this was the last feature script from writer Josephine Coyle, even if she was "helped" by a couple of other people, but I am surprised that anyone had the sheer nerve to give Malone a "Masters Of Horror" episode just a few years after this. Parasomnia currently stands as his last feature, and maybe that is for the best.

I have struggled to think of one thing positive to say about this, to end on a moderately upbeat note, and I have come up short. Even the Udo Kier cameo is far too short, while other supporting players who get a bit more screentime aren't as memorable. I quite liked the small role for Amelia Curtis, and her character gets to have what may be the only decent scene in the whole film, so I guess that will be the silver lining to this huge cloud. Feardotcom = worth struggling through if you're a REALLY big fan of Amelia Curtis. Everyone else should avoid it like the website at the heart of the plot.

2/10

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Tuesday, 8 April 2014

April Fools: Kevin & Perry Go Large (2000)

The character of Kevin the stroppy teenager was very funny when he first appeared. One of many creations from famous UK TV comedian Harry Enfield, he was an amusing exaggeration of the worst aspects of those turbulent teenage years. Unfortunately, he wasn't as funny by the turn of the century, and this attempt to take the thin gag and stretch it further, into a full movie, stands up now as nothing more than a bit of an embarrassment.

Enfield is Kevin, of course, and Kathy Burke plays his mate, Perry. The two obsess over girls and getting a sex life, and they look to have the best chance ever to impress some lovely young ladies when they're allowed to go on holiday to Ibiza. Unfortunately, Kevin's parents (James Fleet and Louisa Rix) are also along for the holiday. Will Kevin and Perry get to make their dreams come true? Will they get to make out with some young ladies (mainly the two played by Tabitha Wady and Laura Fraser)? And will they somehow manage to convince people that they have the potential to be superstar DJs, just like Eyeball Paul (Rhys Ifans)?

Kevin & Perry Go Large has a pretty good soundtrack, so there's that. But there's really nothing else, with the exception of a brilliant turn from Ifans as the uncaring DJ who strings the lads along while promising to play their song at his club. Director Ed Bye has a career full of TV work (including Red Dwarf, which may hold up as the best thing that he's worked on) but he proves able to take this small-screen work and bulk it up enough for the cinema screen. It's just a shame that he can't do anything to detract from the sheer awfulness of the script.

Remember in Caddyshack when someone dropped a chocolate bar in the swimming pool and everyone thought that it was a floating piece of human waste? Well, this movie has a similiar scene, except there's no chocolate bar involved. It's just a piece of shit (which is a fitting summation of the entire film). Yes, that's the level of the script, written by Enfield and Dave Cummings.

Enfield is almost consistently annoying, Burke is a bit more fun, and I already mentioned how good Ifans is, but there just isn't anyone onscreen that viewers will enjoy spending time with. Fleet and Rix are the most pleasant, but maybe teenagers will disagree with me on that point. Paul Whitehouse has a fun cameo, and Steven O'Donnell gets a couple of good moments as Big Baz, but that's really all of the minor pleasures of the movie covered.

I'm sure there are people who still enjoy this. I am not one of them, however, and recommend avoiding it completely.

3/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Kevin-Perry-Go-Large-DVD/dp/B001AMMAHS/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1394127421&sr=1-1&keywords=kevin+and+perry+go+large