Wild Things: Foursome (2010)

Well, here we are with the third sequel in a movie franchise that should never have been. If anyone comes to this movie hoping that the series will take an unexpected rise back to a level of quality close to that of the first movie then they probably need professional help.

The big addition to this movie is right there in the title. Where the other movies all tried to shoehorn in a memorable threesome scene somewhere this film tries to show FOUR people getting hot and horny with each other at one point. I can't wait to see who they throw in to the mix if they ever try to stretch things out for yet another tired instalment. Wild Things: Pentalogy?

The main pretty young things this time around are: Brandi Cox (played by Jillian Murray), Rachel Thomas (Marnette Patterson) and Carson Wheetly (Ashley Parker). What fun can they plan for each other? Well, the plot of the movie involves murder, rape, double-cross after double-cross and interference from Detective Frank Walker (John Schneider). Or, in other words, pretty much the same mix as viewers saw in the preceding three movies.

The film actually doesn't do too badly, it's just a shame that it's so unnecessary and so lacking when compared to that fantastic first instalment. Jillian Murray is okay, I suppose, but Marnette Patterson fares a bit better. Ashley Parker just exudes an air of smugness that doesn't make him endearing at all but John Schneider is someone fun to watch onscreen. Ethan C. Smith, Jessie Nickson, Marc Macaulay and Josh Randall all do pretty well with their relatively limited screentime.

Andy Hurst (who co-wrote the previous two movies) is in the director's chair this time around and he actually does a capable job. I certainly prefer his directorial work to his writing. Howard Zemski and Monty Featherstone provide the script this time, it's their second time working together after scripting a movie called SharkMan (that I now desperately want to see - just knowing that a film with that title exists is enough to get me excited), and it really would seem to be a thankless task. Let's face it, this idea was worn out by the second movie so repeating the formula again and again just means that it's stale as soon as the titles flash up. Having said that, the writers do try here and there to keep things entertaining and unpredictable but it's the nature of the twists and turns (based on the template set many years earlier) that actually make the thing entirely predictable. The biggest crime in the whole movie actually takes place during the end credits, in which we get a sequence of revelatory moments that are completely uninteresting and add nothing to what we've just seen. Even the second and third movies managed to get that bit right.

I hope they just cut this series dead right now. It's horrible to think of the reputation of the first film being further tarnished. It's even more horrible to know that I'll just keep having to check out any future instalments. I hate having such morbid curiosity.

4/10

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Wild Things: Diamonds In The Rough (2005)

Who knew when Wild Things first arrived on cinema screens that it would spawn a bunch of sequels all built around the exact same structure? This second sequel is once again written by Andy Hurst and Ross Helford (who wrote the screenplay for the previous movie) but the directorial duties are handed over to one Jay Lowi. To be fair to Lowi, Tangled (the 2001 teen-friendly thriller and not the 2011 Disney movie) was a movie at least belonging underneath the same umbrella as this one and showed that Lowi could handle such material.

Serah D'laine and Sandra McCoy are the two young women at the centre of the activities this time around and this time everything seems to revolve around a nice pair of diamonds. There are numerous twists and turns, once again, but the shorter runtime dictates that the plans start to unravel faster than ever before and that the mystery is, once again, nicely wrapped up in time for a number of enjoyable revelations shown during the final credits.

The cast are okay. D'laine and McCoy make up for their lack of any in-built name recognition with an attempt to be a bit raunchier and more willing to shed clothes than Susan Ward and Leila Arcieri were. Dina Meyer is relatively well known and does just fine. Linden Ashby reprises his role from the previous movie and does a bit better this time around. Then we have Brad Johnson and Ron Melendez, both doing what they have to do with their roles though both stuck with weaker characters.

Once again, this is nowhere near as good as the first movie. It's quite dull for most of the runtime and everything just feels a bit . . . . . . . flat. BUT the last-minute revelations are a bit more enjoyable, thanks to being a bit different from the previous pattern, and there's still some fun to be had from the central concept if you're an undemanding viewer not expecting anything great.

4/10

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Wild Things 2 (2004)

Six years after the cool and sexy first movie, along comes this sequel to show how you can take almost exactly the same material (in some instances even the scene structure is almost EXACTLY the same as in the first movie) and turn a winning formula into complete sewage.

If you've seen the first movie then none of the twists and turns will surprise you. If you haven't seen the first movie then why the hell are you considering even watching this instalment?

Jack Perez directs and I can't help thinking that all he did was watch the first movie. Of course, this isn't the worst thing he could have done. After all, Perez is now the man perhaps best known for giving the world the supreme and jaw-dropping Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus. (best sold to anyone who has yet to see it with THIS clip). Ross Helford and Andy Hurst wrote the screenplay for this and the next outing in the series so no worries there. Of course, they also wrote the screenplay for Single White Female 2: The Psycho. Oh dear.

Which means that we have nothing but a rehash of the first movie from a group of untalented people behind the camera. Hopefully, a few good stars onscreen could pick things up a bit. Well, not really. There are some decent people in front of the camera (Susan Ward is just too cute for me to dislike and Isaiah Washington is a very good actor and certainly the best thing in this film) but there are also just as many folk you won't care about one little bit. Leila Arcieri as Maya King is just annoying, Joe Michael Burke is far too bland, Linden Ashby is okay and that's about it, nobody else really gets to make any impression.

Overall, Wild Things 2 is just like Wild Things (even the dvd cover is almost a carbon copy). Without the talented cast. Or smart script. Or style and sexiness. Or any trace of originality. Despite so many failings, however, it's still a bit of an entertaining watch thanks to the way it follows the structure of the original so closely. There are even a number of reveals during the end credits which end up being almost as much fun to watch as the revelations in the first movie. Almost.

4/10

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Single White Female 2: The Psycho (2005)

If you can't tell whether or not this belated sequel to Single White Female is going to be any good then I suggest that you head off quickly and get your bullshit detector working. The fact that it is subtitled "The Psycho" is the big clue. That's like providing viewing audiences with a movie titled "Jaws 2: The Shark". Lazy, dumb and simply signposting that everyone is in for a lesser rehash of the first movie. So nobody should be surprised to find that this sequel is just a lesser rehash of the first movie.

Everything is pretty much the same, but not as good. A woman gets upset after finding that her fella has cheated on her. She moves into a new apartment with a flatmate. The flatmate starts to grow closer and closer to the woman, even going so far as to emulate her physical appearance. Things turn deadly. There's even a scene in which the lead actress follows the psycho flatmate to a sex club and sees something she shouldn't. You may remember that scene, even that was in the original movie.

Of course, there are minor differences here and there but this film, for the most part, ticks all the boxes in the "how to make a sloppy, lazy and cynical cash-in of a sequel" checklist.

The script, written by Glenn Hobart, Andy Hurst and Ross Helford, is pretty lame. Gone is the subtlety and decent characterisation of the first film. Instead, we get everything spoonfed to us and a lead character we're supposed to care for because, well, she's the lead character. Never mind the fact that she's also quite dumb, weak and irritating.

The flat direction by Keith Samples seems unsurprising when you consider his wealth of TV work. It's just a shame that he couldn't try a bit harder to spin the weak material here into something a bit more entertaining. He decides to keep things relatively sanitised and sexless when the trashy premise cries out for some suitably trashy treatment to at least make it entertaining for . . . . . . . . . . . . fans of trash.

The cast? Brooke Burns is good to watch onscreen but I'd have to say that Kristen Miller didn't impress me at all. Neither did Allison Lange or Todd Babcock or anyone else in the movie, for that matter.

Simply put, no aspect of this movie, from the camerawork to the cast to the script to the soundtrack, made any good impression on me. Apart from Brooke Burns. Oh, and a final 10 minutes that had me laughing out loud when I assume that I was supposed to be tense. Avoid it.

3/10

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