Prime Time: Ash (2025)

Despite the fact that I loathed Kuso, I decided to give this sci-fi horror movie from director Flying Lotus a chance. Writer Jonni Remmler makes his feature debut here, and the nicest thing I can say is that it feels very much like the work of someone making their feature debut.

Eiza González plays Riya, a woman who finds herself in a very difficult situation when she awakens to find that all of her colleagues have either gone missing or been killed. This would be problematic anywhere, but Riya is working in a space station on a distant planet. There's not really anyone around to quickly come to her aid, although someone else (Brion, played by Aaron Paul) does make an unexpected appearance. 

I don't want to sound like a broken record here, and I am keen to see Flying Lotus do something that fully works for me, but this is a film made by a director who is unable to effectively mix his own artistic vision and sensibilities with the genre moments that he ends up fumbling. The end result is something that will please nobody, with a weak script undermining any of the moments that could have been more interesting and a number of visual flourishes that are buried under poor editing choices, some bad lighting, and a constant feeling of apathy.

The sad thing is that the cast here could have done something good with better material. González is a decent lead, although you wouldn't know that from the roles that she has picked over the past few years. The same could be said of Paul, who has yet to find himself a film role that comes remotely close to his superb TV work. Iko Uwais isn't used in the way you might expect, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. The bad thing is how he is completely wasted, as are both Beulah Koale and Kate Elliott. Flying Lotus himself also appears onscreen, but I'm not going to judge his work as anything more than a cost-saving measure. That's all you have, a handful of people for the core cast, and that would be all you need if the main premise was strong enough. It isn't though.  

I remember many years ago when I was desperate to find another videogame to scratch that Resident Evil itch. I ended up playing OverBlood. It wasn't very good, but there were moments when it was superficially close enough to Resident Evil that I decided I could be happy with it. That took some willpower, and that was back when I was younger and much easier to please. I'm older and a bit more jaded nowadays. And if I want something to scratch that sci-fi horror movie itch then I have much greater knowledge, and many more resources, than I had when I was spending more time playing on a videogame console than trying to work my way through every movie ever made.

I'll give it a bonus point or two for the FX work, and an ending that tries to reward those who have been patient enough to get there, but that still leaves it as something I rate disappointingly below average.

4/10

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Next Goal Wins (2023)

Presenting a fictionalised version of a story already presented to us in a documentary of the same name (a documentary I am now very keen to see), this is the story of the American Samoa football team and their attempt to turn their fortunes around after a brutal 31-0 defeat in the qualifying rounds for the 2002 World Cup.

Michael Fassbender is our lead, a washed up coach named Thomas Rongen. Rongen isn’t really known for his ability to shape winners. He is known for losing his temper. All that matters is that the American Samoa team feel like they are being given a shot though, even if the odds are majorly stacked against them. Rongen has to get used to the local way of life, and he has to get used to the idea that one of his better players (Jaiyah, played by Kaimana) is in a state of transition that everyone else accepts and appreciates.

I rattled off a quick bit of praise for this on social media as soon as the end credits had rolled, commenting on how much I enjoyed it and how it seemed to come along at a time when director Taika Waititi had/has fallen out of favour. To be clear here, whether or not you like this film doesn’t necessarily depend on your personal feelings about the Waititi, but this is, for me, a film that retains most of what I like about Waititi’s work without having too much of the baggage that now proves to be a bit irritating. For better or worse, he has become a celebrity director, which may explain why his cameo here feels like one of the weaker moments.

Overall, however, Waititi directs with his usual skill at handling the kind of gentle humour, weaving together predictable plot strands on the way to a third act where lessons are learned, obstacles are overcome, and viewers will be ready to smile, whatever the result of the final game of footie. The script, co-written by Waititi and Iain Morris, is everything you expect, although there’s the bonus of a real winning charm derived from the warmth and easygoing nature, and optimism, of the American Samoan people. The stakes aren’t too high either, which is pleasingly atypical, with the team still quite happy to celebrate their journey as they strive to score just one goal to show that they can.

Fassbender is very good in his main role, majorly grumpy and resentful of his lot in life as he hurtles to what we all hope will be a transformative experience. Kaimana is a delight, adding an important element to the team and the team spirit, her presence highlighting the focus on happiness and gratitude. Both Oscar Kightley and David Fane are great as individuals struggling to keep the football team as a viable entity, the former involved in a great little running joke that shows how many different hats he wears in his daily life, and Beulah Koale, Uli Latukefu, and the other main players get to have numerous memorable moments as they train hard to hopefully achieve a bit of on-pitch redemption. There are also small roles for the likes of Elisabeth Moss, Will Arnett, Rhys Darby, and Rachel House.

I really enjoyed this, but it’s something we’ve seen done in similar ways many times before. Think of any feelgood sports comedy drama and you will already know what to expect. It’s still worth a watch though, especially if you just want something easy to watch that will have you smiling throughout. 

7/10

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Prime Time: Shadow In The Cloud (2020)

Chloë Grace Moretz stars as a young WWII pilot, named Maude, who "hitches a lift" on a B-17 with a male crew who don't appreciate her presence. She has a bag full of top secret documents, meaning the men have no choice, but it's not long until she is placed in a turret, away from everyone else. As Maude tries to work against the misogyny and mistrust of the men, things are soon complicated. There are some enemy planes nearby that shouldn't be. And there's also the appearance of a gremlin.

I was excited about Shadow In The Cloud ever since I first heard about it. It's a brilliant idea, a simple one that has the potential for so much fun. Unfortunately, not much of that fun is apparent in a film that gets far too silly far too quickly, and also feels horribly cheap for almost every minute of the runtime. 

With a script, by Max Landis, apparently heavily re-written by director Roseanne Liang (after the well-documented allegations against Landis), it's astounding to think how bad this was at the first draft stage, The characters are paper-thin, in a way that damages the film by making it impossible to really care for anyone, the few action beats are implausible and unexciting, and the plot developments are absolutely ridiculous. It's insulting to viewers how badly put together this is. Easy enough to forgive if it was a TV show episode (which is worth noting, as it feels at times very close to an enjoyable episode of "Amazing Stories" that had the same setting), but a horrible endurance test in feature form. It's as if the script is some out-of-date milk that has been spilt on a sunny day and you're forced to sit in the same room with it as a hot sun shines through the windows and makes everything worse and worse.

I can't really fault Moretz though, who does the best job of anyone here. She's not doing anywhere near her best work, but she isn't bad at being a strong lead to root for. That's more down to her being Moretz than the script, however, and nobody else has that advantage. Byron Coll, Callan Mulvey, Taylor John Smith, Beulah Koale, and Nick Robinson make up most of the main airmen, but I couldn't have namechecked any of them just now without the use of IMDb. They don't get any moments to separate themselves from one another, simply being put out by the presence of a woman on their plane, and when the third act allows Moretz to interact with them at closer range it's just too little too late.

I've already seen comments from others who enjoyed this, people who appreciated that it was simply a fun viewing experience for them, so I cannot say that my view is in any way the majority one. You may like it, you may hate it. You're unlikely to love it though. As soon as the end credits ended, I couldn't help but think of everything that was wrong with it. And the more I thought about it, the more I found wrong. Even a small cartoon that kicked things off by explaining what gremlins are. I enjoyed that while it was on. Then I started wondering why they felt the need to include it, considering viewers would either a) know what a gremlin is, or b) simply be informed by the script that a creature was on the plane and trying to damage it. Maybe it was to pad out the runtime, which is at least only 83 minutes. I guess that could have been my review in a more succinct style - terrible, but not overlong.

3/10

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