Mubi Monday: The Last Showgirl (2024)

There are many times when others praise things that make it easy for me to agree with them, be it a piece of art or an artist, or something that occurs in the world outside of my entertainment/art bubble. I would say that most of the time I tend to find my views aligning with the majority. Not all of the time though, and The Last Showgirl is one of those times when I am very much at the opposite end of the general consensus.

Pamela Anderson plays Shelly, a showgirl who finds herself with a big problem when the show that she has been part of for decades is due to close forever. Despite the dwindling audience numbers and various struggles, this news seems to be a huge shock to Shelly, Mary-Anne (Brenda Song), Jodie (Kiernan Shipka), and the other women in the show. Not sure of what she will do in the future, Shelly starts to also consider what she has given up in the past, including a relationship with her daughter, Hannah (Billie Lourd). 

The first screenplay feature credit for Kate Gersten, The Last Showgirl is a disappointing and muddled look at choices made in youth that reverberate through an entire lifetime, as well as being an obvious exploration of how anyone racing against the clock of natural ageing is always going to be in danger of losing their place in an industry that values youth and beauty above almost everything else. While not a great film, it also has the misfortune of being released very close to the much superior The Substance, which explores similar themes in a much more interesting, and a much smarter, way. It's hard not to keep comparing the two, considering how they also position a "past their prime" actress in the lead role, surround them with one or two relative newcomers, and underscore the main narrative with a mixture of sadness and disappointment in the lack of progress made in the two main industries being looked at.

Director Gia Coppola obviously believes that casting Anderson in the lead role is a great way to play into the material, but that would only work if Anderson was good enough. Sadly, she is not, and the fact that she plays her character with some constant faux-Marilyn Monroe affectation in her speech doesn't help her show a big enough difference between her stage persona and her personality when not performing. Song and Shipka aren't given enough to do, with the latter also unable to make her character work when required to perform a dance that is supposed to get close to something sexy, and the only moments worth your time involve either Dave Bautista (as Eddie, a producer who has a past with Shelly), Jamie Lee Curtis (as Annette, a former showgirl now working as a cocktail waitress), or Billie Lourd (as Hannah, Shelly's daughter).

There are some parts of this that are admirable, but they're overshadowed by a lead actress who cannot make the most of her role, a couple of trips into fantasy sequences that derail the central narrative focus, and a third act that is equal parts unsatisfying and surprisingly empty. I'm not going to say that the whole thing ultimately lacks enough . . . substance, but that wouldn't be an incorrect summary. I don't know who to blame - writer, director, or star - but surely they didn't want people to watch this and just wish they had rewatched Showgirls instead.

3/10

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Netflix And Chill: Secret Obsession (2019)

Peter Sullivan is a name you may recognise if, like me, you enjoyed watching all of the snow-filled TV movies we have filling up the schedules every Christmas time. He's done at least a dozen of them, which will come as no surprise to you once you have seen this unthrilling thriller that is now presented by Netflix.

On the one hand, I try my best to avoid spoilers whenever I review movies. I really do. I am not one of those people who thinks "the film is 50 years old anyway so it doesn't matter". And I certainly don't agree with the idea of "I thought it was crap anyway so here's how it ends", which I think is a particularly shitty way to express your negative view of something. Just because you hated something doesn't mean that everyone else will agree with you. On the other hand, and this is not an exaggeration, it's pretty much impossible to spoil Secret Obsession. If you saw the trailer then you know how it ends. If you didn't see the trailer, don't worry, everything is completely obvious within the first few minutes.

But, if you really don't believe, or trust, me . . . . *SPOILERS AHEAD*

Brenda Song plays Jennifer Williams, a young woman who starts the movie looking quite afraid until she's struck by a car, ending up in hospital with some horrible injuries and memory loss. Her loving husband, Russell (Mike Vogel), wants to get her home as soon as he can, just to make sure she can rest and recuperate in peace, and not at all because he obviously had something to do with the opening sequence. Jennifer rests up, occasionally thinking about everything she notices around her in a way that gets her spidey-sense tingling. Russell, meanwhile, acts suspiciously, then acts more suspiciously, and finally just reveals the dark core that viewers have known was there since the very beginning, all in time for a grand finale that sees the two leads joined by dogged Detective Frank Page (Dennis Haysbert).

There's something mesmerising about just how amazingly straightforward Secret Obsession is. There's no way that anyone involved could have thought they were making a real thriller. I'll admit that I wondered at what point this was going to change from the glossy nonsense I was enjoying to the twisted nastiness we got in The Perfection, but I didn't enjoy the movie any less when I realised that it was going to provide absolutely no surprises. As strange as it may seem, this proves to be quite the treat because of how resolutely it hits all of the expected beats without any of the tension, or twists, you might expect from it.

I still have to say that everyone does a decent job here, because they seem to do exactly what they're aiming to do. Sullivan directs everything with a safe, made-for-TV, feel that only ever comes close to pushing the boundaries during one moment (Russell cradling Jennifer's injured foot), the script, co-written by Sullivan and Kraig Wenman, is along the lines of a plot you would have enjoyed during the heady days of Sunset Beach, and the performances are absolutely in line with the material. Song spends most of her scenes either looking vulnerable or looking for a way to escape, or both, Vogel LOOKS like a charming psychopath throughout, and Haysbert does the suspicious and determined detective act well without going too over the top.

This is awful, in many ways. It's also kind of wonderful. It's the movie equivalent of a fast food treat. Ultimately bad for you, full of crap, designed to be sold to as many people as possible, and yet it's enjoyable enough for the ten minutes you spend eating it, even if you know you will crave something proper to eat within a few hours. Watch this, enjoy it, and then seek out something better to help get rid of the aftertaste.

5/10