Prime Time: The Misfits (2021)

The continuing disappointment of mediocrity from director Renny Harlin continues with this film, a comedy crime caper that takes a pretty good cast and spends too much time not making the most of their talents. Some people can overcome the flimsy script, Pierce Brosnan having the lead role is a big plus, but it’s a shame that the overriding feeling once the end credits roll is that you’ve just watched something quite lazy and carelessly thrown together.

The title almost tells you everything you need to know. A group of criminals are put together for a big job. They have various skills, and they are happy to be called The Misfits. The target is a man named Schultz (Tim Roth), someone who has made his fortune by building prisons, but has used one such building to house a secret stash of gold. How? Why? Those questions don’t matter. You just need to know that this heist somehow seems overly complicated and ridiculously simple at the same time.

Harlin directs competently enough, this is a light-hearted caper that he can just have some fun with, ensuring that his cast always looks good and there are shots of expensive lifestyle accessories showing the rich pickings around our “heroes”, from lovely watches to lovely supercars. It’s the script that provides all the problems, too preoccupied with banter and wit to actually remember that there should be at least a small bit of tension here and there. It’s no surprise to find that the script was co-written by someone who has previously delivered mainly comedic fare - Robert Henny - and someone who can do enjoyably stupid or just stupid stupid - Kurt Wimmer.

Brosnan seems to be having a ball in his role though, and that enthusiasm is infectious enough to help make the film a lot more tolerable. As for the others in the team, they’re all likeable enough. There’s Nick Cannon, Jamie Chung, Mike Angelo, and Hermione Corfield (playing the daughter of Brosnan’s character), each playing someone bringing their own particular skillset to the group, and you also get fun supporting turns from Rami Jaber, Qais Qandil, and one or two others who are proving to be a help or hindrance to the main plan. Roth is a standard mark - two steps behind, and with plenty of reasons to make his loss justified and more satisfying - and he does what is asked of him, but sadly never feels as dangerous as he should.

It’s slick and bathed in sunshine, but The Misfits is also absolutely disposable. Which isn’t a crime, it just makes it a film that you should never prioritise ahead of many better viewing options you might have. But for something to watch when you don’t want anything overlong (this clocks in at just over 90 minutes), overly complicated, or overly emotional, this absolutely fits the bill. It’s a simple slice of entertainment, benefiting hugely from the star power of Brosnan.

5/10

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Sea Fever (2019)

Dougray Scott is a good actor, isn't he. That's not a question. That is a statement. And it's not me being sarcastic. He IS a good actor, but I think it's very easy to forget how good he can be when he keeps being given roles that don't make the best use of his talent. He has starred in some crap over the years, most of which I have also enjoyed, but Sea Fever is both a) not crap, and b) his best role in years. If you're a Dougray Scott fan, this is one you must see.

The plot concerns a trawler/fishing ship that is helmed by Scott and Connie Nielsen (playing Gerard and Freya). They have agreed to allow a young marine biologist (Siobhan, played by Hermione Corfield) on board for their latest journey, one in which they hope to have a bit better luck. Siobhan having red hair is supposed to be a bad omen though, according to the rest of the crew. But the real bad luck stems from a decision by Gerard to take the ship into an exclusion zone, which brings everyone into contact with an underwater beastie that has a dangerous habit of spreading parasites to anyone it comes in contact with.

Written and directed by Neasa Hardiman, this is a fantastic creature feature that works as well as it does because of the central characters, the cast, and the general high quality of the script. There are one or two plot holes, and an ending signposted in huge neon letters well within the first act, but it's all done so well that you can let those things slide while enjoying a sea-based horror full of paranoia and a smidgen of body horror.

I started this review praising Scott, and I'm about to do it again. This is absolutely one of his best performances in years, and perhaps up there as his best of all-time. He shows that Gerard is desperate to get a decent payday, but also doesn't willingly set out to harm anyone in his crew that he views as being pretty much part of a family unit. Nielsen is very believable as a female who can be the more responsible one while not harbouring any resentment for the bad decisions that her partner makes, knowing he has good intentions (even if we know where those lead). Corfield holds her own alongside these old pros, being very likeable and easy to root for, even during the earlier scenes that show her being a bit anti-social and not being used to anything that isn't her work. Olwen Fouéré is an old hand, Ciara, on the boat, and some younger crew members are played by Jack Hickey, Ardalan Esmaili, and Elie Bouakaze, with nobody delivering a bad performance.

But it's Hardiman who brings everything together so well here, from the cast to the ideas she makes great use of, having the gorgeous cinematography by Ruairí O'Brien complemented by a wonderful score from Christoffer Franzén. Nicely using the skeleton of a standard watery creature feature (and they seem to be making a small comeback lately, we just need one or two more to make it feel like 1989 again), Hardiman then tightens the focus, it's all on the potential for parasites and how the characters could endanger one another, and the third act is very much a survival horror scenario with the main creature less of an immediate danger than the behaviour of others and the threat of a potential widespread infection.

I'm not sure many people will enjoy this as much as I did, and I'm not entirely sure why I enjoyed it AS MUCH as I did. Sometimes quality just wins out, especially when it is present in every aspect of a film you had no expectations for. Most people may want to knock a point or two off my rating.

8/10

Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018)

Not content with upsetting people who took a dislike to his output in the music industry, Crispian Mills (son of Hayley, frontman for Kula Shaker, who I actually really enjoyed) seems intent nowadays to equally upset people who dislike his output in the movie industry. This is his second feature, both with Simon Pegg in a lead role, and I can only say that, judging from this one alone, Mills is a much better musician than he is a director.

The plot of Slaughterhouse Rulez is quite a simple one. You have a new boy (Don Wallace, played by Finn Cole) trying to fit in at a posh public school. He finds a friend (Willoughby Blake, played by Asa Butterfield), finds a girl that he immediately starts pining for (Clemsie Lawrence, played by Hermione Corfield), and finds himself incurring the wrath of a bully (Clegg, played by Tom Rhys Harries). And this all coincides with trouble at a nearby fracking site that has unleashed some dangerous beasties.

The cast don't do a bad job. Everyone mentioned fits nicely in their roles, even if those roles are quite thin stereotypes to help this feel very much like an old comic tale brought to life onscreen. As well as those mentioned, you get Simon Pegg as a teacher, Nick Frost as an environmental activist, Michael Sheen as the headmaster, and very small roles for Jo Hartley and Margot Robbie, as well as a number of lesser-known actors doing their bit to add to the fun.

Look, you can't see a film like Slaughterhouse Rulez and call it one of the worst things ever made, you just can't. It has a degree of technical competency that is achievable for people who can get a decent budget in place (no blockbuster money but certainly not at the lowest end of the indie scale), it has fleeting moments that hint at how much better it could have been, and it has a delightful performance from Sheen.

You can, however, see this and be massively disappointed. In much the same way that 101 different British crime caper movies came along after the success of Guy Ritchie, a horde of British movies have all tried to capitalise on the success of Edgar Wright, some of them doing so by blending horror elements with some particularly British comedy stylings, and some doing so by trying to get Simon Pegg and/or Nick Frost involved. This does both, allowing it to be doubly disappointing.

Mills must take most of the blame. He directed. And, with Henry Fitzherbert, he also co-wrote the script. The pacing is off, without any decent set-pieces to make things move along quicker, the supporting characters aren't interesting or well-developed enough to make the time spent with them worthwhile, and, worst of all, very few of the jokes land. The monster moments work, but are too infrequent, which leaves the whole thing feeling like a wasted opportunity, especially considering the cast assembled.

4/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy the same disc here.
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