For It Is Man's Number: joan chen

Showing posts with label joan chen. Show all posts

Sunday, 24 May 2026

Netflix And Chill: Remarkably Bright Creatures (2026)

A film based on a book (written by Shelby Van Pelt), there have been very few films in the past few years that I have realised were based on a book from the very opening moments. The main conceit here, a story presented, and sometimes narrated, by an octopus (voiced by Alfred Molina, no less) practically screams "THIS WORKS A LOT BETTER IN CUTE AND QUIRKY BOOK FORM". There's a cosy feeling here, but it's definitely a cosiness that I would appreciate more in a book than in a film, and the talented cast cannot do enough to make up for the lack of any real substance in the material.

Sally Field plays Tova, an elderly woman who spends a lot of her time being very good at her job, a cleaner at a local aquarium. That's where she has developed a bond with an elderly octopus named Marcellus (voiced by Molina). Things start to change when Tova is injured, forcing her to take some time off work just as Cameron Cassmore (Lewis Pullman) rolls into town in a van that breaks down. Cameron needs a job, which means that he needs to spend quite a bit of time with Tova.

Directed by Olivia Newman, who also co-wrote the screenplay with John Whittington, this is a film I would only recommend to people who are fans of anyone involved. As well as Field, Pullman, and Molina, you have decent screentime for Colm Meaney and Sofia Black-D'Elia. While they're not given the best material to work with, they're given enough to make spending some time with them a pleasant enough experience.

In fact, all of the main performances are pitched exactly where they need to be. Field is sweet and caring, for the most part, but also has moments in which she is abrasive and lashing out at anyone close to her, and Pullman continues to display the same kind of likability and easygoing demeanour as his famous father. Meaney is a lot of fun as a source of local knowledge for Pullman's character, as well as someone with more than a passing interest in our leading lady, and Black-D'Elia is introduced in an amusing enough meet-cute moment that signifies how she may become an integral part of the storyline. Joan Chen, Kathy Baker, and Beth Grant are members of the wonderfully-named "Knitwits", and there are one or two other individuals who do well enough with very small amounts of screentime.

I cannot say I disliked this. But a large part of that was tied to how much I like Pullman onscreen. I also cannot say that I liked it though. The script is a bit flat, and that's before you consider the horribly predictable and clumsy way in which everything is tied together neatly in the third act, and Newman doesn't do anything that supports the cast, aside from some nice shots of octopi and some other marine creatures.

And I should end this review by admitting that it took an observant comment from a friend to make me realise how enjoyably meta and cute having Molina voicing Marcellus was. He has a good voice for the role anyway, but Doc Ock delivering the ock talk feels like a deliberate extra treat.

5/10

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Wednesday, 10 December 2025

Prime Time: Oh. What. Fun. (2025)

One of the bigger Christmas movies to appear at the end of 2025, Oh. What. Fun. has a wealth of talent on both sides of the camera. It's directed and co-written by Michael Showalter, comedy fans should already be familiar with his name, and makes use of the likes of Denis Leary, Felicity Jones, Jason Schwartzman, Chloë Grace Moretz, Dominic Sessa, Joan Chen, and Eva Longoria. All while boasting another leading role for the great Michelle Pfeiffer.

Pfeiffer plays Claire, a mother and wife who is starting to feel very unappreciated. All she wants from her grown children is a nomination that will get her some recognition and an appearance on her favourite daytime TV show (hosted by Zazzy Tims, played by Longoria). Sammy (Sessa) is too busy feeling sorry for himself after recently being dumped by his girlfriend (Mae-bell, played by Maude Apatow), Taylor (Moretz) is distracted by her latest new love, Donna (Devery Jacobs), and Channing (Jones) is considering how to transition to some new holiday traditions with her own family. There's also a perfect neighbour (played by Joan Chen) adding some pressure to the holiday season, and things snowball until Claire just decides that she has to take a break from her family. On Christmas.

This is a strange one. It will be enjoyable enough for some, and you would think it could hardly fail with everyone helping to fill out the cast list, but, contrary to the title, it's not really any fun. And, yes, I am aware that the title is supposed to be ironic. The tone of the film isn't though. It's supposed to be a mix of comedy and drama that does what pretty much every Christmas movie does: deliver a seasonal message about kindness and love. It just rarely works as well as it should.

First of all, despite the very true statements made by Pfeiffer about how many Christmas movies (and, let's face it, movies in general) are made about men/boys needing help in comparison to movies that celebrate all that women do . . . the fact that the central character here is seemingly motivated by her own need to be seen as so much better than others around her doesn't help to make her a very sympathetic lead. In fact, and maybe I am risking some wrath here by just commenting as a clueless bloke, Pfeiffer's character isn't very pleasant to her family, doesn't seem to have any friends to help her let off some steam, and generally demands some specific rewards and recognition for doing a decidedly average job, at best, of being the family matriarch. Her husband and children may be a bit selfish and inconsiderate, but so is our lead, despite her actions trying to prove otherwise.

Second, it's neither very funny, nor is it very Christmassy. Many won't mind the lack of laughs, but I was hoping for something to compensate for the lack of real drama (and I do mean a LACK of real drama, with a few things being presented here that end up being completely inconsequential as things quickly move from one scene to the next . . . try to argue with me on that point and then tell me why we had that shoplifting scene, and what that added to anything). There are Christmas decorations, of course, and some pleasant chilliness in the air, but the lack of any sweet centre, and an apparent reticence to fully lean into all of the holiday trimmings, stop this from feeling like something designed specifically to be appreciated in the run up to Christmas.

Sessa and Schwartzman give the two best performances onscreen, which is a real shame when you consider who should be the shining stars. The latter plays Doug, husband of Channing, and his general mistreatment in the family home is another mark against the film, especially when he's shown struggling to connect with Channing's siblings, but always willing to turn up and do his best for family time nonetheless. Another enjoyable turn comes from Havana Rose Liu, playing a cool daughter of Chen's character. Pfeiffer struggles with the unhelpful material, as do both Jones and Moretz. Leary fares a bit better, but is, much like his character, able to coast along without making any major effort. And as for Eva Longoria, she does almost well enough to make you forget her small role in War Of The Worlds. Almost.

The first screenplay from Chandler Baker, adapted from her own short story, Oh. What. Fun. just has far too many things wrong with it to get even close to feeling right. Whatever Showalter thought that he could bring to the material isn't clear. All he's managed to do is helm a feature that will rank as one of the worst mainstream releases for all involved. And that is saying something when you think of the collected filmographies of the leads.

3/10

Sunday, 25 September 2022

Netflix And Chill: Ava (2020)

It feels as if everyone lately has been wanting a shot at portraying a highly-skilled assassin, very possibly due to the great success of a certain Keanu-led franchise, but not all of them manage to do enough to stand out from what has fast become a very crowded field. Ava is a film that not only doesn't stand out, it becomes so well-camouflaged by the cliches and tired tropes it is wearing that it's pretty much the John Cena of the skilled assassin movie sub-genre.

Jessica Chastain is the titular Ava. She is very good at her job, killing people, but has started to wonder what people have done to prompt her being hired to put an end to them. This makes Ava a potential liability, despite the fact that she still (literally) executes her orders. Her "handler" (Duke, played by John Malkovich) still has faith in her though, but others want her retired. And retired means dead.

Writer Matthew Newton seems to think that anyone watching Ava will not have seen any other movie like this, which is the only explanation for a script that is so consistently lazy from start to finish. Ava is given three defining characteristics - her questioning nature, her history of addiction, and her deadly skillset - and some messy family tension (with a mother in hospital and a sister now dating her ex-boyfriend), but she never feels like a fully-realised lead character. It isn’t as if we cannot accept assassins who are defined just by how good they kill people, but there isn’t enough information given to us to explain why Ava has started to ask more questions, or why she has kept such strong connection to her family while still in a job that would seem to make that a very risky proposition.

Director Tate Taylor manages to get everything onscreen competently enough, helped by the fact that Chastain is as committed to the physicality of the role as you would expect, but he doesn’t ever do enough to elevate the script. Some fight scenes are decent, some have to be over-edited. Sadly, none of the moments of straightforward drama work, with characters chopping and changing their moods, depending on what exposition is required or how any scene is leading everyone towards the inevitable climax.

Chastain is good in the central role, even if she isn’t quite good enough to make the film worth watching, and Malkovich excels in a supporting cast that also includes Colin Farrell (good value), Geena Davis (always welcome in any movie), Jess Weixler, Common, Diana Silvers, and a badass Joan Chen. Nobody does a bad job. They’re just stuck dealing with that lame script that leaves them hung out to dry.

On the plus side, the pacing isn’t bad, the runtime clocks in at just over 90 minutes (from opening scene to the start of the closing credits), and you can, with some hard work blocking out the worst elements of the script, accept it as a mildly diverting action thriller. I would always be ready to recommend 100 other movies ahead of this though, easily.

4/10

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Judge Dredd (1995)

I think it's pretty widely acknowledged nowadays that Judge Dredd was a bit of a letdown for fans of the character. I still like it more than a lot of people but even I must admit that Dredd spends far too much time not wearing his iconic headwear and there's a bit too much screentime given over to the comic relief AKA Rob Schneider. Anyway, let's start with the good stuff.

Judge Dredd has a great cast, including Sylvester Stallone in the title role. When he first appears onscreen he's fantastic in the title role. Stallone may not be the best actor in the world (though he certainly has his moments) but he's surrounded by a quality cast. There's Diane Lane, Max Von Sydow, Armand Assante, Jurgen Prochnow and the great James Remar (although he's, sadly, not in it for long). There are also small roles for Ian Dury, Ewen Bremner and Scott Wilson. And then there's Rob Schneider.

The plot sees the most infamous peacekeeper in Mega-City One being accused of murder. It's unbelievable but all the evidence clearly points to Dredd as the perpetrator. Dredd is to be sent away for a long time but that doesn't quite go to plan thanks to a big fight on board a vehicle full of prisoners that leads to a crash that leads to Dredd and a hapless criminal named Herman (Rob Schneider) stuck in some waste lands and needing to deal with some bad folks before finding their way back into Mega-City One and clearing Dredd's name. Meanwhile, it turns out that the real villain is someone very close to Dredd with his own warped reason for revenge. Even better, he's played by Armand Assante, in superb eye-rolling form.

Michael De Luca may have managed to come up with the story with William Wisher but it's Wisher and Steven E. de Souza who crafted the final draft of the screenplay and due credit must also, of course, go to the many fine folks who have written stories for Judge Dredd during his long-running stint in the mighty 2000 AD. The story, and the backstory (both that which is revealed and that which is just known to fans of the comic), is solid and the direction from Danny Cannon isn't that bad at all. The film simply starts to fall apart when Judge Dredd stops seeming like Judge Dredd and that happens, as silly as it may sound, when the helmet comes off. And when it stays off for most of the movie. It's not true to the character and it just leaves viewers with a half-decent Sylvester Stallone action movie. There are already plenty of those, thank you very much.

Judge Dredd is fun. It has one or two enjoyable set-pieces (one that involves James Remar, one involving the delightfully demented Angel Family and almost any moments that involve Assante), I don't hate Schneider as much as some people and it's good to see so many big names involved with what is, essectially, pulp fare. It's just not a great JUDGE DREDD movie and that is, ultimately, a big black mark against it.

6/10

This Bluray plays in the USA AND the UK - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Judge-Dredd-Blu-ray-US-Import/dp/B008C0C1Y8/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1348590005&sr=8-8

Friday, 5 August 2011

On Deadly Ground (1994)

A film with a cast that includes Michael Caine, John C. McGinley, Billy Bob Thornton, Joan Chen, R. Lee Ermey and Mike Starr may sound like something well worth watching. But then just let me add that Steven Seagal also stars in this one. In fact, he’s the lead. And let me also add that nobody involved in this film is putting forward their best work.

Seagal plays an environmentally-minded hardass who is working for Michael Caine, and his massive oil company, at the start of the movie but quickly realises that something is amiss and goes out of his way to right some wrongs, earn the respect of the Eskimo people and punch people in the face. Everything you would expect from a Seagal movie.

I was expecting something awful from On Deadly Ground but I have to admit that . . . . . . . . . . it’s okay. The environmental message sits uncomfortably beside the action sequences (especially in an overly preachy final monologue from Seagal) but the action sequences themselves are pretty bloody good.

Which is a big relief, considering what we have to endure from Michael Caine in his many scenes. Caine starts off attempting an American accent and either soon gives up on it or is simply so awful that he sounds just like . . . . . . . . . Michael Caine. And the black hair-dye is also another big distraction.

John C. McGinley as is good as he so often is, R. Lee Ermey isn’t too bad and Billy Bob Thornton is in the kind of role you could easily label “number two henchman” but gets a couple of good lines despite his very limited screentime. Joan Chen will probably want to forget this one, it’s far from her best role.

Written by Ed Horowitz and Robin U. Russin, and directed by Seagal himself, this is a rare action movie with a social conscious. Which is why it falters. Does anyone really want to watch an action movie that takes time out to remind you of how to make the world a cleaner place?

The mysticism and nobility of Seagal makes for some unintentional laughs but that can all be forgotten during a final half hour that replaces the battleship of Under Siege with an oil refinery. Which is why the movie still manages to get a score that just lifts it above average.

6/10.