Netflix And Chill: The Curse Of Bridge Hollow (2022)

There are a couple of ways to summarise The Curse Of Bridge Hollow. I could tell you that it's a bit like another (unoffocial) Goosebumps movie. I could tell you that it's family fun nicely in line with the atmosphere and thrills of the spooky season. Or I could tell you that I watched it last year and forgot to review it until this year. That's not intended to condemn the film, but it does hint at it feeling more like a pleasant distraction as opposed to something more substantial. I'm glad I waited a year to rewatch and review this though, because I think I actually enjoyed it more this time around.

Priah Ferguson plays Sydney Gordon, a teenager who moves into a new town with her parents (played by Marlon Wayans and Kelly Rowland). While her parents seem happy about the move, Sydney is less than pleased. At least the residents of the town seem to be having fun as they get into the spirit of Halloween, but things turn dangerous when a curse starts to bring most of the many Halloween decorations to life. It isn't long until Sydney and her father are battling against spiders, zombies, killer clowns, and more while they try to figure out how to break the curse.

Written by Todd Berger, Robert Rugan, and John R. Morey, with only Berger having a decent selection of feature screenplays already under his belt, this is easygoing entertainment that manages to keep everything weighted more towards the fun than the scares (although those killer clowns may creep out a few viewers). It's not for the very young, but most teens who aren't yet ready for the illicit thrills of higher-certificated content should get a real kick out of this once it all gets going. And it's paced well enough to get going without too much pre-amble. You get to know the characters and the town, but things don't ever really settle down once the consequences of the curse start to become clear to everyone suddenly in danger. 

The cast do well to boost the material, with Wayans good fun in the role of "uptight dad" while Ferguson easily proves herself as a very capable young lead. Rowland gets a lot less to do, but she's fine, and it's a wise move to give supporting roles to John Michael Higgins, Lauren Lapkus, and Rob Riggle, all of whom are allowed to add some humour without being overused. Abi Monterey, Holly J. Barrett, and Myles Perez play three other teens who befriend/help our lead, and they also do a good job.

Jeff Wadlow directs with a steady hand, also making great use of special effects and CGI that blend together to make the all-too-lively Halloween decorations feel nicely textured and realised. Most importantly, no one thing overshadows anything else, which means that nothing feels unbalanced. That goes for the cast, the FX work, the chuckles and the chills, and the father-daughter bonding moments amidst the fight against frighteners.

If you're after some spooky family entertainment, or you just fancy watching something yourself that isn't aiming to turn you into a nervous wreck or a traumatised mess, then The Curse Of Bridge Hollow is a good choice for this time of year. I'm glad that I made time this year to rewatch it, and maybe this review will remind others that it is still tucked away on Netflix (as it is all too easy to forget when they spend so much time pushing their newer content to the top of the main page).

7/10

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Netflix And Chill: The Wrong Missy (2020)

Tyler Spindel is an actor who has recently built up his filmography with a number of directing jobs (including Father Of The Year, a film with the same lead). I don't think it's really fair to dismiss his potential talent just yet, because he at least shows a minimal degree of competency behind the camera, but it's fair to say that he needs to pick some better projects to work on if he wants to improve in his field.

The Wrong Missy is a star vehicle for David Spade. And I know that sentence is enough to scare away many sane movie fans. But it gets worse. The plot is all about how his character, Tim, somehow accidentally invites the wrong woman, Missy (Lauren Lapkus), along to a work retreat he is attending in Hawaii. Spade is trying to make a good impression, of course. He has an unbelievable attractive ex, of course. And if you are already starting to suspect that Missy may be annoying and disruptive in a way that leads to some valuable life lessons and potential resolutions for the characters then give yourself a cookie.

Unlike many people, I tend to enjoy the screen presence of people such as Spade. I still watch Adam Sandler movies (and not just Uncut Gems), I'll throw on some older Rob Schneider film if wanting something undemanding that will give me occasional chuckles, and Spade is part of that group. I can see why every single one of them would annoy people, but they frequently do enough to keep me moderately entertained. It's a low bar, I know, but it is what it is.

The Wrong Missy is pretty bad, even for a David Spade movie. He hasn't done anything solid in many years now (perhaps Joe Dirt being the last one that made me laugh enough to actually consider it one I enjoy, and own), and I have no reason to believe that he's suddenly going to start worrying about the quality of his output while being paid for crap like this. He's not helped by the weak script, from Chris Pappas and Kevin Barnett, and the film also suffers from the fact that it doesn't compensate for the leads, and material, with a better supporting cast. Schneider appears in a small role, Nick Swardson has a main role, and they're really the only ones worth mentioning. Oh, Sarah Chalke is the gorgeous ex, and always a welcome presence.

Although Spade is doing his usual stuff, it's all the more irritating when juxtaposed alongside the nonsense from Lapkus. I cannot recall seeing Lapkus in much, and this has not made me a fan. Her characters is made to be far too grating, unbalancing the whole film because you cannot believe that anyone would give her more than a minute of their time. By the time you get to the expected changes of heart in the third act, it's all just too hard to swallow.

If it wasn't clear enough already, I do not often have high standards when it comes to mainstream comedy movies. This film didn't even manage to meet those.

3/10

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Holmes & Watson (2018)

How bad is Holmes & Watson? Considering how much is was roundly battered by critics, and anyone brave enough to go and see it at the cinema, could it really be THAT bad? Yes, yes it could. And I can say this with a degree of confidence, having been one of the few people to have now seen it twice.

The first time doesn't really count though. When I first watched this movie I was laughing aloud at a number of moments. I'd also taken an excessive amount of valium before a short flight (I'm just a nervous flyer, and it turns out I wasn't listening to my wife when she reminded me of the recommended dosage of something I wasn't used to). But you can certainly take that as a different view of the film. It will make you laugh if your brain has been suitably altered by some substance that keeps you in a very good mood, be that alcohol, medication, or your favourite Doritos.

So, for the purpose of this review, I am going to focus on my second, most recent, viewing. My brain was not altered in any way (beyond the usual warping), although I definitely wish it had been.

Will Ferrell plays Sherlock Holmes, John C. Reilly is Doctor John Watson, his constant sidekick, and their latest adventure involves the dastardly Moriarty (Ralph Fiennes) and a plot to kill the Queen of England (Pam Ferris). That's about all you need to know, other than the fact that Kelly Macdonald is Mrs. Hudson, and Rebecca Hall and Lauren Lapkus play two women who turn the heads of our detecting duo.

It has been a decade since Guy Ritchie entertained audiences with a Sherlock Holmes that mixed the traditional elements with some fun cinematic updates (the "Holmes-vision"). We have had Sherlock since then, and also Elementary, both shows that have smartly updated the famous detective for modern viewers, while retaining a lot of the little details that make Sherlock so quintessentially Sherlock. So Holmes & Watson feels like too little too late as soon as it begins. That would be fine though, as long as writer-director Etan Cohen had some good enough gags to make it worthwhile. Sadly, that is not the case.

Cohen seems to rely on the chemistry between Ferrell and Reilly (used so effectively in their previous comedy work), but that's not enough on this occasion. Not when the script is full of unfunny jokes transposing modern habits (selfies, drunk text messages) into the period setting, numerous gross-out gags that fall flat, and sequences that make use of that aforementioned "Holmes-vision". The one time I smiled was due to a fun cameo towards the very end. Nothing else really works, one or two very minor chuckles aside.

Ferrell and Reilly are quite irritating in the lead roles, Macdonald is the highlight of the film, and Fiennes at least manages to get paid for a relatively short amount of screentime. Ferris is very game in her royal role, Hall almost comes out of the whole thing with her dignity intact, but Lapkus is undone by the fact that she has to match Ferrell at his juvenile antics. There are also small roles for Rob Brydon (who is actually a good fit for Inspector Lestrade), Steve Coogan, Hugh Laurie, and that great cameo star.

I am going to give this a fairly generous rating, considering how well it amused and distracted me while I was on valium and trying not to think about anything that could send me plunging to my death. But don't let that fool you into giving this a try. Even Sherlock Gnomes was better than this.

3/10

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