Netflix And Chill: Spaceman (2024)

A sci-fi drama that makes good use of Adam Sandler in another of his impressive dramatic turns, Spaceman is an American film that feels like an ill-judged remake. It isn't an ill-judged remake, actually being based on the book, "Spaceman Of Bohemia", written by Jaroslav Kalfař, but it's very interesting to find elements here that weren't changed to keep the whole thing feeling more obviously American in origin.

Sandler plays Commander Jakub Procházka, a cosmonaut who is due to investigate a large dust cloud just beyond Jupiter. He is far from home, all alone, and suddenly not receiving any messages from his estranged wife, Lenka (Carey Mulligan). There has been a message sent to him, one telling him that Lenka is leaving, but Jakub's commanding officer, Commissioner Tuma (Isabella Rossellini) decides to hold it back, figuring out what is best for Jakub's mental health and wellbeing. Maybe it's too late for Jakub though, considering that he starts to wonder if he's hallucinating when he encounters a telepathic spider-like creature that ends up being named Hanuš (voiced by Paul Dano). This encounter leads to a number of conversations that force Jakub to face the reality of his decisions and emotions.

The second feature written by Colby Day, Spaceman is a deep well of ideas and potential that is sadly never as good as it should be, and a lot of that feels down to the writing. Day doesn't do anything wrong by the characters, but the one idea being focused on is a bit too slight without adding more to it, making the 107-minute runtime feel overlong as a number of the main moments between Jakub and Hanuš feel repetitive and unconstructive, especially while the former fights against his own regret and sorrow.

Director Johan Renck has no other features in his extensive filmography so far, but one look at the many music videos and TV shows he has worked on shows someone who should have been given a film project many years ago (he's worked with Chris Cornell, Madonna, Kylie, and David Bowie, as well as being at the helm of episodes of The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, Bates Motel, Bloodline, and all 5 episodes of the absolutely astounding Chernobyl). He assembles a solid cast here, gets some lovely cinematography from Jakob Ihre, and a fine score from Max Richter, so it's a shame that the material is lacking that special something.

Sandler is very good in the lead role, no surprise to anyone who has been appreciating his dramatic work throughout the past couple of decades, and Dano is an excellent foil for him, enquiring and commenting with a fairly flat and monotone voice highlighting their position as an impartial viewer keen to explore the loneliness of a fellow traveller. While Mulligan is also very good, she's stuck playing a woman who is often shown in memories and visions filtered through the eyes of the main character, making her feel like someone who is never fully real. Kunal Nayyar is also very good, playing a technician named Peter, and both Rossellini and Lena Olin are given just enough screentime to remind you that other people are trying to support both Jakub and Lena, and there is a wider world beyond our stranded cosmonaut and his, in a way, stranded wife.

Spaceman is good. It's worth one watch. But it's not one that I can see many people revisiting, and I don't think many people will love it. There's too much wasted potential, and it brings to mind one or two superior sci-fi tales, at the very least, that you could say cover very familiar territory. I know many people, like myself, who won't mind wandering through that kind of landscape though.

5/10

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Prime Time: Upgraded (2024)

A misunderstanding that leads to someone trying to maintain an unrealistic image of their life, a number of coincidences making everything more complicated on the way, and one or two supporting characters doing their best to trip up our lead. Yes, we’re firmly in rom-com territory with Upgraded, a film that I saw someone else cannily sum up as a standard rom-com mixed with more than a hint of The Devil Wears Prada. 

Camila Mendes plays Ana, a young intern struggling to make the right impression in front of her boss, a hard taskmaster named Claire (Marisa Tomei). While heading to the UK to close a deal that will gain them a hefty commission, they are in the business of evaluating and auctioning art, Ana is mistreated at the airport so appallingly that she is upgraded to first class by a kind ticket agent. It is in this unfamiliar environment that Ana meets Will (Archie Renaux), getting on so well that she is befriended by his mother (Catherine, played by Lena Olin). Which is all well and good, until she starts to develop a busy social life that might create a clash with her work duties.

Writers Christine Lenig, Justin Matthews, and Luke Spencer Robert’s don’t have the most extensive filmographies, but it quickly becomes clear that each member of the team knows the formula needed at the heart of this film. There are some quirky supporting characters and some surprisingly funny lines of dialogue in the first half of the movie, but we all know where it needs to end up. The truth needs to come out, and at least one big romantic gesture is always welcome.

Director Carlson Young has a similarly small body of work, certainly in her directing role, but has been acting, mainly in TV shows, for a number of years. She is arguably best known for her role in the Scream TV series, where she played Brooke Maddox, but the skill and polish on display here bodes well for her future as a helmer of slick popular entertainment.

Mendes is perfectly fine in the lead role, and Renaux pairs up well enough with her. The two of them are as cute and safe as expected, but they actually feel like they have chemistry as their meet-cute turns into something more. Tomei has a lot of fun being the super-mean and super-demanding boss, Olin also seems to enjoy being a quirky and loving socialite/ex-model/actress, joined at times by a carefree and spirited artist (played by Anthony Head), and two “mean girls” are played well by Rachel Matthews and Fola Evans-Akingbola. There are also enjoyable supporting turns from Andrew Schulz, Saoirse-Monica Jackson, and Thomas Kretschmann.

Easy to enjoy, as long as you’re in the mood for this kind of thing, this is the kind of film that should manage to force a smile out of even the most resistant of viewers. You get a good mix of characters, the cast all seem to be enjoying themselves immensely, and the third act delivers one or two very satisfying moments. It’s not sophisticated, it’s far from perfect (I have already forgotten any of the score/soundtrack, for example), but it’s a bloody good time while it’s on.

7/10

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Netflix And Chill: The Ninth Gate (1999)

While people have a number of different reasons for holding whatever opinions they have on director Roman Polanski, something that isn't mentioned enough is the simple fact that he has never equalled his cinematic output of the 1960s and 1970s. That's not to say that he hasn't made some very good films in more recent decades, but they're certainly not his best, and some are perhaps given a bit more leeway because of his name being attached to them. The Ninth Gate is one of those lesser films, and you can still find many people who champion it as a fine modern horror movie . . . which I think proves my point.

Johnny Depp plays Dean Corso, a rare book dealer who is hired by Boris Balkan (Frank Langella) to locate and check over copies of a book that supposedly gives the reader the chance to summon the devil. This job leads to Corso crossing paths with Liana Telfer (Lena Olin) and Baroness Kessler (Barbara Jefford), two women who may be in possession of the valuable texts. It also leads to him encountering a mysterious woman (Emmanuelle Seigner) who may want to help him, but could easily be seeking to frustrate his ongoing attempt to complete his task. The more that Corso investigates the book, the more he starts to see things that become harder to explain rationally.

Adapted from a novel, 'El Club Dumas', by Arturo Pérez-Reverte, The Ninth Gate has a screenplay by Polanski, John Brownjohn (who collaborated with the director on 4 or 5 movies), and Enrique Urbizu, that feels exactly in line with what Polanski wants to deliver. It's another one of his films that walks a tightrope in between horror and comedy, but that tightrope-walk is something that Polanski managed much more successfully in many of his earlier movies. Give me the inspired madness of The Tenant or Cul-de-sac. Please don't give me something else that reminds me of the ridiculous Bitter Moon.

Depp is fine in the main role, although he plays a character so unflappable that the third act fails to provide any real tension, but there are a few treats to be had in the supporting cast. Langella is his usual formidable presence, and plays his part with an admirably straight face. Olin does well, up to a point, but the screenplay sets out to make her character very silly by the time she is given a more active role in the second half of the film. Jefford is excellent, helped by the fact that she seems to be more savvy to what is really going on, and she doesn't seem to be as easily manipulated as other people in the movie. Seigner does what is asked of her, and I won't waste time being too rude about her appalling inability to give anything close to a decent performance. There's a good reason that her biggest movie roles seem to have been in movie directed by Polanski AKA her husband.

There's a decent score from Wojciech Kilar, some shots look nice enough (I guess), but there aren’t many more compliments I can give it. I will begrudgingly admit that one or two moments of humour work, especially one moment in which a character essentially berates a group of satanic cult members as nothing more than ignorant cosplayers, but that’s a rare moment that works in a movie that runs for just over two hours. If this wasn’t directed by Polanski, it would have been series and dismissed immediately, and completely forgotten by now.

3/10

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Queen Of The Damned (2002)

Despite never having read the source material, I understand why fans of the book would have problems with the movie version of Interview With The Vampire. Tom Cruise wasn't the first star that anyone had thought of as a good fit for the BIG role, Lestat, and any adaptation of a beloved book is bound to upset a portion of the readers, no matter who is involved. I happen to really like Interview With The Vampire (perhaps being unfamiliar with the source material helped me to enjoy it on a purely cinematic level, and Neil Jordan rarely does wrong). I cannot say the same for this film, a vampire tale so mind-bogglingly inept that I am amazed anyone agreed to it.

Lestat is played this time by Stuart Townsend. He's rested for some time and comes back out of hibernation to find that he can posit himself as a nu-metal/goth rock star. This is incredibly easy for him, and the fact that he is open about his tendency to bare fangs and crave blood only adds to his image, and his appeal. Other vampires are not happy with his publicity and fame, which means lots of them want him dead. There's also the return of the titular queen of the damned, Queen Akasha (played by Aaliyah), and a captivated young woman named Jesse (Marguerite Moreau) wanting to get close to Lestat for reasons she doesn't fully understand.

In case I wasn't clear in the first paragraph, Queen Of The Damned is a horrible movie, but it's horrible in enough ways to be fun. Everything is so wildly inconsistent (from the quality of the acting to the accents, and even the character motivations) that viewers have to resign themselves quite early on to either just accepting the nonsense they're about to watch or giving up completely. Maybe this all works better on the page, and I can imagine that it would, but the script, by Scott Abbott and Michael Petroni, is content to throw together scenes and dialogue that would be bad even in the cheapest of straight-to-disc vampire movies. I'm not sure how I would have reacted if I'd paid to see this in the cinema, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been as cheerful as I am right now.

Director Michael Rymer was clearly told what had to be in the film; namely slow-motion shots of the glamorous cast members, plenty of nu-metal and mopey rock tracks (seriously, my hair developed corn rows just watching this movie, and I almost changed my named from Kevin to Kevinescence), and vampire attacks shown with the kind of special effects and camerawork usually reserved for 21st century Steven Seagal movies.

Townsend is the one who has to endure the most embarrassment, whether he's pretending to be a vampiric rock god or talking to his "master" (Vincent Perez) in front of a giant billboard of himself, with the leather-clad crotch positioned immediately behind the two. Moreau is also quite bad, although gets away with it a bit more because of the fact that she is effectively mesmerised for the majority of the movie, as is Perez (although that's also because it's hard to watch his performance without thinking of how it could be improved by replacing him with someone from the previous Lestat movie). Paul McGann doesn't have much to do, nor does Lena Olin, though she is good with her limited screentime, and the only cast member who manages to rise above the material and emanate some real presence is Aaliyah, appearing onscreen just in time to save viewers from slipping into a comatose state. If, as per the title, the film had been more about her character and less about the adventures of a rockstar Lestat then this may have been a much better viewing experience.

Not one I'll ever want to revisit, this is a film so bad that I'm amazed Townsend managed to keep a career. It doesn't even feel like a story continuing on from Interview With The Vampire. I hope, once filming wrapped, that most of the people involved here took some time to themselves to think about what they did and figure out some small way to atone for it.

3/10

Masochists can buy the movie here.
American masochists can buy it here.

Darkness (2002)

Darkness is a flawed horror movie with good intentions that features some great ideas buried amongst plenty of weaker moments that will feel all too familiar to modern horror fans.

Anna Paquin stars as Regina, a young woman who starts to feel unsettled not long after she moves into a new home with her parents (Lena Olin and Iain Glen) and younger brother (Stephan Enquist). The darkness seems to contain something menacing, a strain is being put upon the family and someone may be in very real danger. Regina suspects that it may be her younger brother who is most at risk, but will she be able to uncover the truth and stop whatever dark destiny seems to be heading their way?

Directed by Jaume Balaguero, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Fernando de Felipe (additional dialogue provided by Miguel Tejada-Flores), Darkness certainly has potential. There are one or two moments that are highly effective, but it's never too long until something comes along that reminds you of just how derivative the majority of the movie is. There's not anything especially wrong with being derivative if things are then blended into something fresh or just so well accomplished that the end result is more than the sum of its parts, but this film doesn't manage that. It tries, and that saves it from being rated any lower, but ultimately fails.

The cast don't help as much as they could, with Paquin, Olin, Glen and Enquist all being just a bit too bland in their roles. Paquin fares the best, as her fans will find unsurprising, but none of the others onscreen are terrible. They're just not particularly memorable. Giancarlo Giannini, on the other hand, may only be a supporting cast member but he does his best with what little screentime he has. Fele Martinez is another cast member who fails to make much of an impression, but I thought I should mention him anyway as he plays another one of the main characters. Badly.

There's a good movie hidden away at the heart of Darkness (no Joseph Conrad-inspired pun intended), and there are times when it almost shows just how good it could be, but then it's all covered up again by cliche and predictability.

5/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Darkness-DVD-Anna-Paquin/dp/B0009M9F2I/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374771166&sr=8-3&keywords=darkness