Æon Flux (2005)

There's a small part of me that is glad that Æon Flux isn't all that good, because otherwise I would have to spend a lot more time on the internet shouting (metaphorically) at people who have yet to recognise the greatness of Karyn Kusama. She's the director here, and this is the only movie I have seen from her that I haven't liked. And even with it being such a messy failure, I cannot bring myself to truly hate it.

Charlize Theron is the lead, playing the titular character. It's the future. People tend to generally be happy. But there's something amiss, which is why a group of rebels are trying to overthrow the government. Flux is an assassin in that group of rebels, and she may be the one person with the key to unlock everything. Obviously.

Only the second feature film from Kusama, working with writers Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi (who would both do much better work collaborating on her later movies), Æon Flux feels very much like what it is, a strange vision from a talented artist who then had that vision meddled with by people who had no idea what to really do with it. The main plot is simple enough to allow Kusama to take pleasure in the small details of the world depicted onscreen, but all of that potential pleasure is ruined by the absolute mess elsewhere. It's hard to care about any of the main characters, most of the action scenes are edited clumsily, at best, and none of the quirky humour can land while viewers are distracted by, well, everything else.

Theron is as good here, overall, as she usually is. I mean she's definitely a movie star, and this is a star vehicle, but it's hard to judge her performance while also considering what she's given to work with, and how everything was then edited. Marton Csokas and Jonny Lee Miller are key figures in the government, and Miller at least gets to have some more fun than the majority of the cast. Sophie Okonedo has to stay pretty straight-faced while portraying another rebel who has had hands grafted on to where her feet used to be, and both Frances McDormand and Pete Postlethwaite are given roles that very much waste their talents. Nobody else is worth mentioning, apart from Paterson Joseph, but that's only because I like Paterson Joseph so much.

Having not seen any of the original animated series that first introduced viewers to this character, I cannot say how this compares to that (although I am going to assume that it wouldn't be a favourable comparison). All I can go on is the final result, what we got on our screens. If it wasn't for Theron, it's hard to see how this would appeal to anyone. Look a bit harder, however, and there are fleeting moments that can help to make this more bearable. And it's definitely a film I would love to see in a director's cut form.
4/10

There's a disc available here.
Americans can buy it here.

xXx (2002)

Do you ever think you're cool? Have you ever played skateboard or snowboard games on a console and imagined living that lifestyle? Ever had daydreams that have you helping to save the world while also sticking it to the man?

Well just stop. You're not cool. Even if you're sometimes a little bit cool, by accident or design, then you need to remember that you'll never be as cool as Xander Cage, the cooler-than-cool main character in xXx.

Cage (Vin Diesel) is a man who spends his time performing EXTREME stunts that make him quite the rock star to his many fans. But it also gets him noticed by Agent Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson), a man trying to convince his colleagues at the NSA that they need to start using a new type of secret agent for new types of criminals. And that's how Cage ends up dropped into another country and directed to get information on a major villain named Yorgi (Marton Csokas), which may give him an excuse to drive fast cars, pose in mid-air during jumps on a motorbike, skate down rails on a silver tray as he avoids sniper bullets, paraglide around, and cause an avalanche to give him an upper hand while he snowboards towards a big group of henchmen.

All of the above happens in xXx and I don't think listing them here would count as anything spoilery. This is a film made up of scenes built around moments they sold in the trailer. Well, those scenes and Vin Diesel's gravelly voice and attitude.

Writer Rich Wilkes seems to throw in everything that might work for the cool kids in the 21st century, and it works better than it should because of the way in which it's the whole lifestyle of the main character.

Director Rob Cohen handles the material competently enough. The most fun is to be had in the first third - a "training exercise" before the main mission - but the 2-hour runtime never drags, thanks to the spacing of the set-pieces and the mounting ridiculousness as everyone involved wants to prove how much they can deliver the goods while being a deliberate anti-Bond. If something can explode then it can explode BIG, if the soundtrack can fit a bit of nu-metal into a scene then it will (not enough to be grating, but it keeps popping up), and everything revolves around the fact that Vin Diesel is the smartest, strongest man for the job.

Diesel does well enough in his role, with a lot of thanks due to the stunt team here too (sadly, one of the main stunt players, Harry O'Connor, died - a sobering reminder of the efforts made by the people we so often don't see acknowledged enough), Csokas is enjoyable enough as the generic baddie with an accent, Jackson does his thing, and Asia Argento catches Diesel's eye and gets to act tough before the script lets her down by making her little more than a wide-eyed female onlooker during the main stunts that occur during the grand finale.

It's not a film that transforms the action genre but it's one that tries hard throughout most of the main sequences to entertain and provide something not already seen a hundred times before. While not entirely successful, and some of the moments clang like a dropped anvil, it's a fun slice of dumb.

6/10.

Get yourself a double-bill here.
Americans can get a nice disc here.

The Equalizer (2014)

I'm pretty sure that if Denzel Washington and Liam Neeson ever starred in a movie together then every criminal on the planet would either be dead, dying or fleeing to outer space to escape their fate. These two men have kicked more ass in the latter portion of their careers than most younger stars do in their entire filmographies. And I, for one, am happy to see it.

Anyway, forget about Liam Neeson now. He's not in this film. This is a vehicle for Denzel, and what a great vehicle it is. Updating a popular TV show from the 1980s, director Antoine Fuqua reunites with his Training Day star to deliver an immensely entertaining tale of vigilante justice.

Washington plays Robert McCall, a quiet, kind man with a secret past. He works in a DIY store, he likes to read books, and he often heads out to a local diner for a cup of tea when he can't settle down for the evening. This diner also has a regular patron in the shape of a young prostitute named Teri (Chloe Grace Moretz). Teri dreams of becoming a singer one day, and McCall encourages her to keep striving to make that dream a reality. That becomes a lot harder to do when Teri is hospitalised after being beaten by her boss. Which is when McCall realises that he needs to step up and try to make things right. He's civil at first, but when that civility is thrown back in his face he replies in the only language that these people seem to understand. Violence and death.

Although it runs for a little over two hours, The Equalizer is not a film that feels bloated. The few main characters are set up nicely, the action set-pieces deliver plenty of impressive pain and bloodshed, and there's a lot of fun to be had in watching McCall resign himself to the fact that what he does best involves punishing criminals who have managed to evade the long arm of the law.

Denzel is excellent in the lead role. Some may feel that he's simply repeating the performance he gave in Man On Fire, but I prefer his work here. It's more fun to watch him move between two different personas, and the editing and other technical aspects are much better, complementing rather than obfuscating the acting on display. Moretz does just fine in her role, even if it is the pretty standard "young innocent in trouble/hooker with a good heart" that we've seen many times before. Marton Csokas is an entertaining, ruthless villain, and David Harbour does well as his temporary right hand man. Johnny Skourtis should win over most viewers as Ralphie, a man being helped by McCall to lose weight and pass the fitness test required for a security guard job that he's keen to land. There are also a couple of good cameos that I won't spoil here, although I am still sorry that we never heard an updated version of the classic TV show theme tune.

The script by Richard Wenk is well put together - having McCall work in a DIY store is a stroke of genius (okay, I might be overstating it, but it's a very good move) - and it's nice to see the film take the time to properly establish all of the main characters, even if some of their moments are cliched and slightly cheesy.

Fuqua manages to keep everything tense and visceral, handling the material with ease. Those with weak stomachs may find some of the violence a bit strong, but I think Fuqua knows his audience well and pitches the nastier moments at just the right level. The action is shot in a way that makes it cool, admittedly, yet it also constantly reminds viewers of just how quickly McCall gets himself into situations that are very, VERY dangerous.

The film covers a lot of familiar ground, yet it doesn't feel lazy or stale. And it has an embarrassment of riches when it comes to fan-pleasing Denzel moments. Not quite as good as the TV show I was so fond of (and, yes, I have my rose-tinted nostalgia glasses on), this does end up being a surprisingly close contender. Dare I say that it's . . . . . . . . . . . almost its equal.

8/10

If you have enjoyed this, or any other, review on the blog then do consider the following ways to show your appreciation. A subscription/follow costs nothing.
It also costs nothing to like/subscribe to the YouTube channel attached to the podcast I am part of - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCErkxBO0xds5qd_rhjFgDmA
Or you may have a couple of quid to throw at me, in Ko-fi form - https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews
Or Amazon is nice at this time of year - https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/Y1ZUCB13HLJD?ref_=wl_share