Prime Time: The Take AKA Bastille Day (2016)

If you have seen other films from director James Watkins then you have seen some decent films, particularly if you enjoy horror movies. As of today, The Take is the last film from Watkins, who has moved towards working in TV in the last few years. There may be a good reason for that. The Take (which you may have also seen, or heard of, under the alternate title of Bastille Day) isn’t very good.

Richard Madden plays Michael, a very talented thief, able to work his way through a crowd and dip into pockets to find passports and wallets. Spying an opportunity when he observes Zoe (Charlotte Le Bon) crying on some city steps, a bag unattended by her side. Michael lifts the bag, rifles through it, and then ditches it elsewhere. And that’s when it explodes. Zoe was part of a group aiming to cause tension and anarchy, but she was supposed to plant the bomb somewhere without anybody nearby, and the incident now puts a target on Michael’s back, with everyone assuming that he is part of the same terrorist group. The French authorities want to get their hands on him, but Sean Briar (Idris Elba) hopes to get to him first. He is supposed to apprehend Michael and hand him over in due course, but the situation quickly changes as Briar finds himself just as quickly targeted as the man in his custody. 

Elba and Madden can do good work when given the right material, and I will always give time to anything that the former is involved in, but they cannot do enough to make this worthwhile. There are one or two moments here and there, and there’s fun to be had watching Elba commit to fully to such a cliché-ridden role, but they are weighted down by the dire script and poor execution of the material.

Watkins, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Andrew Baldwin, isn’t suited to action thrillers. This is a film made by someone who has spent a year watching Taken 3 on repeat and reading “Action Movie Tropes For Dummies”. That’s a shame, particularly when the main premise feels like such a tantalizing one. Almost every opportunity is squandered here, from the tension and thrills that could have been created from Elba trying to pursue Madden to the disappointingly predictable real villains of the movie. The only surprise is how much eyeliner they put on Madden.

As for other cast members, they are equally weighted down by a screenplay that puts a pair of concrete boots on them before throwing them into water. Le Bon is left to look sad and vulnerable, Kelly Reilly is given a role that allows you to say “maybe this won’t be so bad, Kelly Reilly’s in it”, and Thierry Godard at least gets one or two decent moments on the way to an underwhelming finale that once again wastes the opportunity to make things more exciting.

I can imagine that many will be able to enjoy this as undemanding fun. It at least has decent pacing and one or two action beats that should entertain anyone after something familiar and comfortingly simplistic. I didn’t actively hate it while it was on. I just never enjoyed it as much as I wanted to.

4/10

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Eternals (2021)

If you want some wholesome and enjoyable content to make you smile then you should check out the many photos of Lia McHugh on her IMDb page. Most of them have clearly been out there by McHugh herself, complete with contextualising text descriptions that show how much she loves her acting career.

If you can spend two hours browsing that selection of photos then you will probably have a better time than you would if you actually watched Eternals, a Marvel movie that feels more redundant than any others we have seen so far.

Described as Earth’s first superheroes, Eternals are a group of people with different powers who work together to help care for the human race. They can only ever intervene when humans are being attacked by monsters called deviants, which conveniently explains why they never tried to help when “the snap” happened, and most of their time is spent just observing people and trying to act like one of them. There hasn’t been any deviant attack for a long, long time. And then there is one, one unlike the others. This deviant may be able to absorb powers while it takes lives. And it may reveal a truth about the Eternals that they will struggle to accept.

Although it’s not actually a bad movie, in many ways, I can feel my enthusiasm for this film ebbing away with every word I write. There is a mildly interesting development in the second half that takes things in a slightly unexpected direction, but the end result is still a group of people dealing with some giant CGI. What’s worse is that the more enjoyable characters seem to be too quickly dismissed from the action.

Director Chloé Zhao, who also helped write the screenplay (Patrick Burleigh and Ryan Firpo being the other writers on this), does what is expected of her, trying to liven things up enough with an action sequence here and there to distract from the fact that these are the dullest superheroes we have seen in a long time. Sadly, she cannot do enough to make up for the central problem.

At least the cast help, although the lead being played by Gemma Chan leads to the big problem of, well, the lead being played by Gemma Chan. Richard Madden does a bit better, as does the aforementioned McHugh, but the best cast members are Angelina Jolie, Brian Tyree Henry, and Kumail Nanjiani. Barry Keoghan plays an interesting character, but plays him as if he can barely be bothered to stay awake. I don’t blame him, it’s a tough job to stay energised with such a mix of deja vu and plodding mediocrity. Even Salma Hayek cannot help, although her relatively small amount of screentime was better than no Hayek at all.

There is a nice cross-section of characters here (Lauren Ridloff is a deaf Flash-like character who speaks in sign language), but the bad outweighs the good. By far. With the pacing issues, the inability to engage viewers properly, and the tired feeling the material has, I have to say that this is the weakest big MCU movie so far. I hope it is an anomaly.

4/10

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Netflix And Chill: Rocketman (2019)

Okay, here's the thing about my review of Rocketman. I had to decide early on whether I wanted to mention Bohemian Rhapsody. Part of me thought it was unfair to do a piece comparing and contrasting the two. Another part of me realised that this film highlights just how much was wrong with the other film, and they do have a lot of connective tissue (from the onscreen subject matter to the use of Dexter Fletcher behind the camera).

This is the story of how Elton John became Elton John, from his humble and quite difficult childhood years, as Reginald Dwight, through a number of years blurred by a quest for love that also saw him embracing excess in every part of his life, from his stage presence to his problems with alcohol and drugs. That's about all you need to know about this musical journey through the life of Elton John. And it obviously helps if you like at least some of his songs . . . and who doesn't like at least some of his songs?

The best decisions made by director Dexter Fletcher and writer Lee Hall involve the staging of this material. What you get is a proper musical, with a proper feeling of artifice at every turn. Hall has a solid background in films that either make great use of music or adapt stage work to screen (having worked on the likes of Billy Elliot, War Horse, and, errrrr, Cats). And Fletcher had a big hit with the film adaptation of Sunshine On Leith, of course, and seems to have a knack for creating rousing moments that prove to be easy audience-pleasers. It helps that Elton himself is the kind of figure you can imagine seeing the world in such an overdone and stylish way, working for many years with a hazy filter of booze and drugs over his trademark spectacles.

Taron Egerton is superb in the lead role, very much a believable combination of the tortured artist and the constant showman. It's a superb transformation, and arguably his best onscreen performance to date (which comes after a burgeoning career already full of pretty great turns). Jamie Bell is Bernie Taupin, a vital figure in Elton's life, and he's okay, left to be the one really decent figure in a sea of people who seem to be either manipulating or using our lead, or both. Bryce Dallas Howard and Steven Mackintosh are fairly horrible parents, but both are outshone by the deliberate coldness and cruelty of John Reid, which allows Richard Madden to impress in a performance that paints him in a very unflattering light, both physically and in terms of his character.

Although there are moments in which Elton John licks his wounds and indulges in a session or two of self-pity, deservedly so, the other big plus about the film is the self-awareness. We're not being shown a saint, at times we're not even being shown someone being very nice at all. We're shown someone with a huge amount of talent who took a long time to find the coping mechanisms required to maintain some kind of mental equilibrium. And he's often mistreated by those who should have been there to help him.

It's a happy film, overall, but there's plenty of unhappiness to wade through on the way to the ending we all know is waiting. The songs help to offset the darker moments, as do the wardrobe choices and the cutting wit of the dialogue at times. It's also deceptively inspiring. I hope anyone who has spent time trying to maintain toxic relationships can look at this and realise that cutting those people from your life can absolutely complement any attempt to cut out any health-endangering vice that you may have. As the life of Elton John proves, you can start to focus on your health and true happiness at any age. You may stumble, you may not always have the focus or motivation, but making that start is the best thing you can do. And it may just lead to a whole new lease of life for you. It did for him.

And one last testament to the film, I wrote this review while listening to a playlist of Elton John songs. Because I was reminded of how many of them I really like.

8/10

Here's the bit everyone ignores . . .
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