Dr. Jekyll & Mistress Hyde (2003)

Sadly, this isn't a fun and cheeky riff on the classic Robert Louis Stevenson story (unlike Dr Jekyll & Sister Hyde). It's adult erotica that uses the essence of the tale to string together some scenes in which people have sexy times with each other. Usually women getting naughty with other women. There's a screenplay by Bruce G. Hallenbeck ("based on" the classic tale, of course) and I was about to dismiss his role immediately, but he does actually put some semblance of a storyline in the mix, even if it is hard to find sometimes.

A doctor (Julian Wells) is talking to an interviewer about her attempts to separate the pure from the lustful side of females. Meanwhile, her husband (Boz Tennyson) has sex with their maid (Ruby Larocca). things then move on to a scene that shows the good doctor dealing with one of her patients (played by popular adult movie starlet Misty Mundae), injecting her with a new serum and then they start to have sex. It's just all too lusty, however, and poor Misty Mundae is driven insane by her new, overworked sex drive. The doctor takes her own serum, transforming her into Heidi Hyde (not to be confused with the hi-de-hi-de-hi-de-hiiii from "Minnie The Moocher"), and then wanders the streets, quickly bumping into a young woman she wants to have sex with (Misty Mundae once more). They have sex. Andrea Davis plays someone who joins them. For sex. People start to get a bit upset at each other, but it's okay because they soon have some more sex.

That's it then. Indeed, it's probably the lengthiest plot description I've ever written for a film of this kind. Director Tony Marsiglia makes sure that everything is erotic enough for those who enjoy such things, but keeps everything far removed from anything that would be deemed hardcore. It's all very softly lit and teasingly presented.

The actors and actresses involved don't do a great job, but who watches this stuff to stumble across a future Oscar winner? Misty Mundae is the star of the show, but Julian Wells is very attractive too. As for Ruby Larocca and Andrea Davis, well there was just too much flesh on display by the time their main scenes came around and I was just waiting for the credits to roll. No I hadn't gone blind, you cheeky monkeys.

The strange thing about this stuff is that it's never really worked for me. I find some of the women attractive, of course, but seeing them in carefully edited lovemaking montages just doesn't come high on my list of priorities. I have so many other things I'd prefer to do: watch better movies, read a good book, take the dog for a walk, etc. etc. etc.

People will mock me, and often do, for this viewpoint and they'll wonder why I watch such stuff if I have no interest in it. Well, Misty Mundae AKA Erin Brown has gone on to make a bit of an impact in the horror genre so that's the first reason. The second reason? As mentioned in my review of An Erotic Werewolf In London, morbid curiosity forces me to see if any of these soft-core porn parodies ever contain enough elements showing that they care one bit about the original material.

Let's face it, I may have hated this film, but it wasn't exactly torture to sit through. As ever with these movies, anyone thinking of watching the film for their own personal happy happy joy joy will probably want to add a point or two.

3/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dr-Jekyll-Mistress-Hyde-DVD/dp/B00009RS0Y/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1361703610&sr=1-1

An Erotic Werewolf In London (2006)

How could I have been so silly? I saw this title and immediately thought “hmmm, I wonder just how closely they decided to stick to the plot of An American Werewolf In London?”

How foolish I was.

The plot (and I use the word in the loosest sense) is all about a woman who is also a werewolf, getting all furry and fanged when she’s having an orgasm. When she wanders into a lesbian sex bar to ask if she can call a cab (as you do)  she proceeds to have lesbian sex with a girl who has just finished having lesbian sex with her partner. At the height of these sexy proceedings the werewolf lady gets all wolfy and bites the girl, who then has to go to hospital. Werewolf lady keeps tracking other women to have sex with and bite while victim number one wakes up in hospital and finds herself being turned all furry and fanged during a heated bout of lesbian sex. Meanwhile, a female journalist from “The Limey” newspaper interviews the werewolf lady before going out of her way to help the first victim.

You’ll notice from the brief, and lazy (I just don’t have the energy to waste on this trash), description above that lesbian sex features a lot in this film. That is, in fact, all that the movie has going for it, if you’re into that kinda thing. I’m not. In fact, I’ll astonish many a red-blooded male by saying that I was thoroughly bored after the first 5 minutes.

Misty Mundae plays victim number one and has a large fanbase for a reason. She’s quite cute and is the one person who comes closest to actually acting on occasion. Anoushka, playing the cannily titled Anoushka The Werewolf, is bloody awful, Zoe Moonshine playing the reporter is . . . . . . . . bloody awful and every other buxom lesbian/latent lesbian onscreen is . . . . . . . . . bloody awful.

William Hellfire (hmmm, I am thinking that he’s using a fake name there) claims to have wrote and directed the thing though I’m amazed that anyone would put their name to this dross. The script is, of course, laughable but people don’t watch this kind of thing for ear-tickling dialogue. It’s all about the sex scenes, which are repetitive and laughable, especially when women are supposedly turning into werewolves in the heat of passion. I’m not even sure if this thing qualifies as a feature, coming in at just under 70 minutes in length, and that’s padded out by ridiculously edited insert shots and annoying, random images.

 

Oh, and in case you’re in any doubt, there is nothing here except the title that gives a passing nod to the classic John Landis movie. The final rating is raise slightly for the benefit of those who seek out this film for its simple aesthetic highlights. 

3/10

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