Sin Sisters (2003)

It's always so easy to write reviews of any movie starring erotic movie star Misty Mundae (AKA Erin Brown). They all, unsurprisingly, follow a similiar pattern. Have a plot that is as slim as it is ridiculous, and then throw some sexy sexy footage onscreen every few minutes. The plot for Sin Sisters may not be quite as slim as the usual fare that Misty Mundae has starred in, but it's still nothing worth watching if you're after anything actually worthy of being called a movie. Of course, nobody watches these things for the plot and character development.

Misty and her sister, Chelsea Mundae, play the sisters of the title. They spend their time lounging by the pool, competing for the attention of men by getting nekkid and having sexy times, and then going to school/college/where they make time to have sexy times. There's a slight interruption to all of the sexy times when Misty kills a rival, Beth (Andrea Davis), and Misty and Chelsea then have to put her body in the trunk of a car and find a place to dump it. Not to fear, the sisters soon meet Juli (Julian Wells) in the middle of nowhere, and she soon forces them to have more sexy times. Some secrets are revealed, in an attempt to make the plot seem smarter than usual for this kind of movie, and more flesh is put on display. And that's it.

Okay, okay, I know that I am not the target audience for this type of thing (well, I AM a heterosexual male so I guess I AM the target audience, in some ways), but I just can't see the appeal of any Misty Mundae movie that I've seen so far, beyond the obvious. The starlet herself is kinda cute, and there are other women onscreen who aren't too unattractive either, but almost everything else is so horrible that it feels as if it's designed to drive viewers crazy while they wait for the sex scenes to start. Or do they always assume that every viewer is just going to fast forward through the movie until they see some naked flesh appear? I guess that's a distinct possibility.

Writer-director Tony Marsiglia must have laughed his ass off whenever he started to make money from these movies, because I have no doubt that he made some money. There's an annoying soundtrack throughout, camerawork that's barely competent, plenty lame lines of dialogue in the script, and, worst of all, not even that much sexiness during the moments that are supposed to be sexy.

I know that people will read this and think "Kevin, you dumbass, you can't rate softcore/erotic movies in the same way that you rate standard movies" and I completely understand that. I disliked Sin Sisters (and many films like it) because of a lack of anything that was actually sexy. It has nudity, it has women having sex with either themselves or other women, but nudity and sex aren't automatically sexy. With the way it fails to do anything else, sexy is the only thing this is supposed to have going for it. 

Only recommended for the very, very easily pleased. And teenagers who don't have the internet.

3/10

 

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Dr. Jekyll & Mistress Hyde (2003)

Sadly, this isn't a fun and cheeky riff on the classic Robert Louis Stevenson story (unlike Dr Jekyll & Sister Hyde). It's adult erotica that uses the essence of the tale to string together some scenes in which people have sexy times with each other. Usually women getting naughty with other women. There's a screenplay by Bruce G. Hallenbeck ("based on" the classic tale, of course) and I was about to dismiss his role immediately, but he does actually put some semblance of a storyline in the mix, even if it is hard to find sometimes.

A doctor (Julian Wells) is talking to an interviewer about her attempts to separate the pure from the lustful side of females. Meanwhile, her husband (Boz Tennyson) has sex with their maid (Ruby Larocca). things then move on to a scene that shows the good doctor dealing with one of her patients (played by popular adult movie starlet Misty Mundae), injecting her with a new serum and then they start to have sex. It's just all too lusty, however, and poor Misty Mundae is driven insane by her new, overworked sex drive. The doctor takes her own serum, transforming her into Heidi Hyde (not to be confused with the hi-de-hi-de-hi-de-hiiii from "Minnie The Moocher"), and then wanders the streets, quickly bumping into a young woman she wants to have sex with (Misty Mundae once more). They have sex. Andrea Davis plays someone who joins them. For sex. People start to get a bit upset at each other, but it's okay because they soon have some more sex.

That's it then. Indeed, it's probably the lengthiest plot description I've ever written for a film of this kind. Director Tony Marsiglia makes sure that everything is erotic enough for those who enjoy such things, but keeps everything far removed from anything that would be deemed hardcore. It's all very softly lit and teasingly presented.

The actors and actresses involved don't do a great job, but who watches this stuff to stumble across a future Oscar winner? Misty Mundae is the star of the show, but Julian Wells is very attractive too. As for Ruby Larocca and Andrea Davis, well there was just too much flesh on display by the time their main scenes came around and I was just waiting for the credits to roll. No I hadn't gone blind, you cheeky monkeys.

The strange thing about this stuff is that it's never really worked for me. I find some of the women attractive, of course, but seeing them in carefully edited lovemaking montages just doesn't come high on my list of priorities. I have so many other things I'd prefer to do: watch better movies, read a good book, take the dog for a walk, etc. etc. etc.

People will mock me, and often do, for this viewpoint and they'll wonder why I watch such stuff if I have no interest in it. Well, Misty Mundae AKA Erin Brown has gone on to make a bit of an impact in the horror genre so that's the first reason. The second reason? As mentioned in my review of An Erotic Werewolf In London, morbid curiosity forces me to see if any of these soft-core porn parodies ever contain enough elements showing that they care one bit about the original material.

Let's face it, I may have hated this film, but it wasn't exactly torture to sit through. As ever with these movies, anyone thinking of watching the film for their own personal happy happy joy joy will probably want to add a point or two.

3/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dr-Jekyll-Mistress-Hyde-DVD/dp/B00009RS0Y/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1361703610&sr=1-1