A Return To Salem's Lot (1987)

A sequel to the classic Stephen King vampire tale, made into a memorable TV movie by Tobe Hooper (and remade a few decades later), I had avoided A Return To Salem’s Lot for many years, having heard it was a real stinker. It isn’t. As imperfect as it is, and it seriously lacks actual scares, director Larry Cohen (who also co-wrote the script with James Dixon) used a tale of vampirism to explore some very interesting ideas.

Michael Moriarty plays Joe Weber, an anthropologist always willing to go that one step further to document tribal behaviour without interfering. Unexpectedly having his teenage son returned to his care, Joe heads back to Salem’s Lot, a small town he grew up in. Salem’s Lot is full of vampires though, which is bad news. The good news is that the vampires want Joe to tell their story to the world. The bad news is that Joe doesn’t want to tell their story, but he may be forced to do so if he wants to stop his son being offered eternal life as a teenager.

Although it is never subtle at any point, things are really hammered home here when the lead character ends up planning his fight back alongside an elderly Nazi hunter (played by Samuel Fuller). The script is pointedly showing how evil needs complicit helpers to thrive, whether they are people “just following orders” or human vampire helpers who work during the daylight hours while their masters sleep safely.

Cohen directs in a rather perfunctory manner, seemingly assuming that it would also just end up on TV, but that still cannot completely outweigh the quality of the ideas at the heart of the script.

Moriarty is a decent lead, as ever, and it’s a delight to see Fuller join in for most of the second half of the film. Ricky Addison Reed is just fine as the moody teen son, Andrew Duggan is a decent patriarch of the vampire community, although he never feels as menacing as he should, and there’s a small role for a very young Tara Reid, if you keep your eyes peeled.

Perhaps even more deserving of your time now than when it was first released, A Return To Salem’s Lot is one of the more interesting vampire movies I have seen from the crowded subgenre. It is weakest when trying to deliver standard horror moments, but you will get more from it if you don’t go seeking genre thrills. It’s striving more to be a study of the insidious and seductive nature of darkness, and the people who will do anything to assist those that they view as being able to help them maintain a comfortable life.

6/10

If you have enjoyed this, or any other, review on the blog then do consider the following ways to show your appreciation. A subscription/follow costs nothing.
It also costs nothing to like/subscribe to the YouTube channel attached to the podcast I am part of - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCErkxBO0xds5qd_rhjFgDmA
Or you may have a couple of quid to throw at me, in Ko-fi form - https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews

Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014)

The other plus to me reviewing, or trying to review, every movie I see. I can figure out past errors. Somehow, I gave Ian Ziering a different first name in my review of Sharknado. Sorry for that mistake, it's now been fixed. And now . . . . . . let's get to The Second One.

You may not believe, or want to hear, this. Sharknado 2: The Second One is a better movie than its predecessor. In fact, the first third of the movie has some inspired moments that had me thinking this could be a film to use as a lesson, showing others how schlocky, z-grade material can transgress those roots to become something so entertaining it's no longer "so bad it's good". It just ends up being genuinely good.

Unfortunately, that opening third of the movie is followed by a middle act that starts to test your patience, and everything is capped off by a finale that just fails to find the sweet spot so tantalisingly offered up to us in the first 15-20 minutes (a real delight, mainly thanks to a great riff on "Nightmare At 20,000 Feet").

Ian Ziering and Tara Reid return to face shark-infested weather, and they're joined this time by Vivica A. Fox, Mark McGrath, Judd Hirsch, Kari Wuhrer, and a whole host of famous faces turning up for cameos (Tiffany Shepis, Kelly Osbourne, Kurt Angle, Billy Ray Cyrus, Andy Dick, Richard Kind, and many others). The acting isn't necessarily better than it was in the first movie, but the absurd humour of the premise has been heightened and played upon in such a way as to make it seem that way.

Director Anthony C. Ferrante returns to help the ridiculousness, and he does it well, taking the script, by Thunder Levin, and running with it at every opportunity. There are things that don't work, but there are a surprising number of things that do. Some one-liners made me smirk, either because they were good or they were so bad that I still found them amusing (like a gag from a Christmas cracker). And all of those cameos add a fun "I Spy" layer to the proceedings.

The CGI is still pretty awful, but such is the way of many movies from The Asylum, and logic and continuity are nowhere to be seen, of course, but all of those things are forgivable when everything else is so much fun. It's just a shame that the fun is all drained away by the last 20 minutes, which take your goodwill and grind it down to almost nothing, leaving a sour taste in your mouth as the end credits run.

If you liked the first movie then you'll find enough here to provide some amusement. If you hated the first movie then don't come anywhere near this one. Personally, I'm already anticipating the third one (if/when it happens).

5/10

http://www.amazon.com/Sharknado-2-Second-One-Blu-ray/dp/B00LOCLDSG/ref=sr_1_1_bnp_1_blu?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1408397644&sr=1-1&keywords=sharknado+2

Sharknado (2013)

Don't pretend that you haven't heard of this one. The movie that had a poster/DVD cover featuring a tornado full of dangerous sharks, with the tagline: "Enough said!"

Sharknado is exactly what you think it will be. The plot is all about a freak hurricane that picks up lots of sharks and throws them into the streets of Los Angeles. While it's raining sharks (hallelujah?), our hero (Ian Ziering, playing a man named . . . . . . Fin) takes a few people along for the ride as he desperately heads out to help his ex-wife (Tara Reid) and protect his teenage-ish kids.

On one hand, there's no point in criticising Sharknado for succeeding at what it aims to be. Director Anthony C. Ferrante and writer Thunder Levin have crafted what may well be the new benchmark for Asylum movies (taking the crown from the mighty Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus). It's so high concept while also scraping the bottom of the barrel that it forms one almighty paradox wrapped in an oxymoron wrapped in a . . . . . . . . . CGI shark.

The acting from almost everyone onscreen is pretty dire. That's not to say that everyone is unforgivably bad. They're bad, but somehow still manage to win viewers over just by turning up and taking part in the madness. Tara Reid may be the most famous face onscreen, but you wouldn't know it from her acting skills. Let's be generous and assume that she lowered her performance levels to be in line with everyone else around her. Ziering isn't bad, but he's not very good either. John Heard is good fun, despite not being onscreen often enough, and Cassie Scerbo, Jaason Simmons, Chuck Hittinger and Aubrey Peeples all try their best to act like people . . . . . . . . . running scared from sharks that are being thrown from violent tornadoes.

The script is bad, with the obvious Jaws reference(s) being particularly groansome, the continuity is non-continuous and the special effects aren't all that special, but this has some fun moments here and there and certainly can't be accused of being dull.

I think I can sum up my reaction to Sharknado by summing up my reaction to one scene, in particular. The main characters try to tell people about the danger that they're in and try to move people away from shark-infested rainwaters. While doing so, one woman is knocking on the exterior of her car and asking someone to help her dog, who is locked in the car. This is obviously supposed to be a "save the dog, at least save the dog" moment a la Independence Day. But . . . . . but . . . . . but . . . . . the dog is INSIDE the car. The dog is LOCKED IN the car. This means that either a) the woman now wanting help to get her dog out somehow locked it in there in the first place and is, therefore, a bit of an idiot or b) the dog knew that shit was going down and decided to lock itself within the relatively safe shell of the car. Either way, that dog seems to be one of the smartest characters. Enough said!

4/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sharknado-DVD-Anthony-C-Ferrante/dp/B00EAR5PV8/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1376258930&sr=8-2&keywords=sharknado

American Pie 2 (2001)

The gang all return for another outing involving a quest for some sexual adventures and if you liked American Pie there's no reason for you not to enjoy this sequel. It doesn't veer too far from the template of the first movie - this time an epic party is the ultimate goal as opposed to virginity loss - and all of your favourite characters are back to do what they do best (which is, mainly, get into embarrassing situations).

Set out as "the same, but different," this movie also shows Jim (Jason Biggs), Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), Oz (Chris Klein), Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas), Vicky (Tara Reid) and Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) trying to draw a line in the sand between their youth and adulthood. Jim's dad (Eugene Levy) is once again on hand to help out and Stifler (Seann William Scott) is once again on hand to abuse and irritate everyone. Oh, and Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) is also due to return to cause Jim some . . . . . . . . . anxiety.

Adam Herz is back as the main writer while J. B. Rogers takes over the directing duties for this particular slice of pie. Both men take the easy option of following the template of the first movie and the end result is very entertaining, if also completely unsurprising. The soundtrack cues are fashioned in exactly the same manner, the laughs are fairly steady in between the few fantastic set-pieces, there's some nudity here and there and Jim is always at the centre of the biggest disasters. Familiarity can indeed breed contempt, but here it makes for a shorthand that keeps viewers happy while the characters progress through the next stage of their lives.

Jason Biggs and Eugene Levy get the lion's share of the laughs and they make the most of every comedic moment. Levy may need to do little more than raise an eyebrow or two, but Biggs throws his whole body around for maximum effects. Sean William Scott spits out more and more crude insults and Eddie Kaye Thomas tries to be even smoother and more laid-back than he was in the first film. Alyson Hannigan is still sweet and funny, Shannon Elizabeth is still stunningly gorgeous and the others (Klein, Reid, Nicholas, etc. etc.) do okay when involved in group scenes, but waste screen-time when the focus is on their separate story-lines.

It does exactly what fans will want it to do, for better or worse, and makes for a worthy sequel that keeps the laughs coming from start to finish.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/American-Shannon-Elizabeth-Alyson-Hannigan/dp/B00005RDOW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1357202435&sr=8-1

American Pie (1999)

It's obviously not going to be for everyone (which is, I realise, quite a redundant saying as it could be applied to every movie ever) but American Pie is a classic in the teen comedy genre. It may not have the nostalgia factor of an American Graffiti or the sharp, dark, wit of Heathers, but it has memorable set-pieces, some great characters and a sweetness running through all of the bawdy antics.

Four young men (played by Jason Biggs, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Chris Klein and Thomas Ian Nicholas) make a pact to lose their virginity by prom night. Jim (Biggs) is awkward and prone to mishaps that see him extremely humiliated, Paul Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) tries to maintain an air of intelligence and sophistication about him even while desperate to get a date, 'Oz' (Chris Klein) joins a singing group in a stealthy move to get close to some good-looking girl (Mena Suvari) and Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) is already happy with his girlfriend (Vicky, played by Tara Reid) even though he can't bring himself to say: "I love you". Also involved with this quartet are Jim's dad (Eugene Levy almost stealing the entire movie), the coarse and carefree Stifler (Seann William Scott), a lovely foreign exchange student named Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) and a young woman (Alyson Hannigan) whose every story seems to take place at band camp.

Written by Adam Herz, and directed by Paul Weitz (with some uncredited help from his brother, and producer, Chris Weitz), this fairly zips along from one-liner to one-liner in between the truly hilarious set-pieces. I always felt that when it was first released it was done a disservice with the talk about it being so focused on one particular pie-related incident. Thankfully, most of the other set-pieces throughout the movie are actually a lot better than the main pie moment and every scene between Jim and his dad is full of comedy gold.

The film made stars out of some of its leading players although many of them could never quite escape the shadow cast by this one huge success (well, okay, this one and the official sequels before the brand name was ruined by the many "American Pie Presents..." movies - more on those at a later date). Jason Biggs highlighted his problem with his memorable cameo role in Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back when he said: "No, it always comes back to that fucking pie! I'm HAUNTED by it!"
Still, he did better than some of his co-stars, with the main breakouts from the film being Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Hannigan (who'd already been doing such great work on Buffy The Vampire Slayer anyway) and Seann William Scott.

Mind you, what do audiences care about the career paths of those onscreen? The fact that they were all in one place for this movie, and the few main sequels, is all that matters. That allowed people to hear the choice insults from Stifler, it allowed eagle-eyed viewers to spot Blink 182 in a sequence that I rate as the comedy highlight of the whole movie, it allowed everyone to learn the word MILF (if they didn't know it already) and it simply allowed for everything to come together to make a near-perfect, raunchy teen comedy. I've not even mentioned Jennifer Coolidge, Natasha Lyonne, Chris Owen (as "The Sherman-ator") or the fleeting appearances from John Cho and Casey Affleck, but I guess that highlights the best thing about American Pie - there's so much more to it than just the pie.

9/10

If you have enjoyed this, or any other, review on the blog then do consider the following ways to show your appreciation. A subscription/follow costs nothing.
It also costs nothing to like/subscribe to the YouTube channel attached to the podcast I am part of - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCErkxBO0xds5qd_rhjFgDmA
Or you may have a couple of quid to throw at me, in Ko-fi form - https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthew