Come Play With Me (1977)

Curiosity got the better of me, I admit it, and I finally watched Come Play With Me for the first time a few years ago. It was, in many ways, one of the most successful movies in British cinemas (particularly the Moulin Cinema in London) in the late 1970s, and it was sold on the obvious appeal of Mary Millington, despite her having only a relatively small share of the screentime.

The basic plot concerns Clapworthy (played by writer-director George Harrison Marks) and Kelly (Alfie Bass) trying to lay low at a quiet health resort as they attempt to print numerous forged banknotes that are causing quite the impact on the national economy. They're also hiding away from a tough gangster named Slasher (Ronald Fraser), which makes the resort, run by Lady Bovington (Irene Handl), a perfect place to just relax and stay under the radar. Unfortunately, or fortunately, a coach full of lovely ladies arrive, led by Lady Bovington's nephew, Rodney (Jerry Lordan), and they decide to do whatever it takes to drum up extra business for the resort. That usually means getting quite naked, and getting much more physical with the guests.

I wondered if this second viewing would make Come Play With Me a more enjoyable experience, knowing how bemused I had been when first giving it a go. Nope, it turns out that I am still puzzled about the massive success this enjoyed, which must have been the result of Millington's name and a constant marketing campaign in at least one top shelf magazine titles.

Bemused or not, however, there's no denying that this DID enjoy huge success, and I wanted to explore the filmography of Millington (billed as the most popular British porn star of the 1970s, and a woman who ended her life tragically at the far-too-young age of 33). Having watched Respectable: The Mary Millington Story, I purchased a fine box set of her movies, and also have a superb book all about her. The films might all end up being awful, I'll have to wait and see, but it's easy to see why so many were smitten with Millington, a woman with that perfect mix of "girl next door" looks and liberated sexuality.

Let's get back to the film though, which is only really worth watching for Millington, and the faltering performances from Handl and Fraser, as well as an entertaining little turn from Milton Reid. Every scene makes it obvious that this was made as quickly and cheaply as possible, and Marks and Bass, while moderately capable, are very strange choices for the lead roles. The sex is decidedly unsexy, the humour rarely lands, and there's not enough moments focusing on Millington, despite the mix of other women happy to wear very little clothing, or none at all, while the film stumbles from one sequence to the next, with an odd musical number thrown in for good measure.

I'm not bothered if people question my motives for watching these films, the gratuitous nudity at least guarantees I won't be bored for the entire runtime, but I have a strange affection for the British sex comedies of this era. I'm also fascinated by them, whether they are films that were mis-sold to audiences who expected much more sex, or whether they were films trying to use actors with "cheeky charm" moving from one saucy encounter to another. Whatever you think of them as works of cinema, they were relatively successful with audiences, from the Millington vehicles to "Confessions Of...", as well as the "Adventures Of..." movies. They're not essential viewings, by any means, but they shouldn't necessarily be consigned to the dustbin of history, considering the money and reputations that they made for some of the people involved.

3/10

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The Lavender Hill Mob (1951)

A classic caper from the much-loved Ealing Studios, The Lavender Hill Mob holds up today as a charming, amusing film full of great characters and a few fantastic set-pieces. It's overshadowed by a few other movies from the studio (does it get any better than The Ladykillers? I think not), but remains as watchable as ever thanks to uniformly perfect performances from everyone involved.

Alec Guinness is the leading man, he plays a mild-mannered bank employee named Holland. Holland oversees the transport of gold bullion from the refinery to the bank. He is as predictable as he is punctilious, but that hasn't stopped him from coming up with a plan to rob the gold and give himself a lifestyle he could never otherwise afford. He needs the help of an artist named Pendelbury (Stanley Holloway), who spends most of his days making souvenirs out of lead, and two men with experience in criminal activities - Lackery (Sid James, here billed as Sidney James) and Shorty (Alfie Bass). The robbery should be easy, getting the gold out of the country and keeping hold of it might be the hard part.

Directed by Charles Crichton and based on a screenplay by T. E. B. Clarke, The Lavender Hill Mob starts off in an exotic locale with a character about to tell his tale before jumping back into the past to become a low-key character piece. The beauty of the movie is that, for most of its run time, it remains a low-key character piece. You want these criminals to succeed because, well, they're just a good group of blokes aiming to commit a crime without hurting anyone besides the bank. And considering how the banks have failed people in recent years, the whole thing feels much more satisfying.

Alec Guinness gives yet another wonderful performance, Stanley Holloway is a great partner for him and both Sid James and Alfie Bass bring a roguish charm to their roles. Marjorie Fielding and Edie Martin are good as two women who live in the same block/house as the men, the former has a couple of fun scenes while the latter has a lot less to work with. John Salew and Ronald Adam are also enjoyable in their respective roles and there's even the teeny tiniest of roles for one Audrey Hepburn (don't let your attention stray for a moment or you will miss her).

If you're unfamiliar with the output of Ealing Studios then I urge you to change that as soon as possible and you could do a lot worse than starting your exploration of their movies with The Lavender Hill Mob (although there is a risk that it will spoil you when it comes to viewing many of the others).

8/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lavender-Hill-Mob-60th-Anniversary/dp/B00525QHM8/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1361404550&sr=1-1