Deep Water (2026)

A plane crash AND a shark or two? Deep Water seemed like it had two main ingredients to easily keep me happy and entertained. It's also directed by Renny Harlin, which is something I would have viewed as a plus about 20 years ago.

Aaron Eckhart and Ben Kingsley play the two main men in the cockpit, and their passenger list includes the very annoying and entitled Dan (Angus Sampson), young Cora (Molly Belle Wright) and her stepbrother, Finn (Elijah Tamati), and a number of people who will become more and more disposable as the danger level increases. What should be a standard international flight is turned into a disaster by a fire in the cargo hold, forcing the pilots to make an emergency landing in the ocean, fortunately close to a coral reef that helps to keep sections of the plane from immediately sinking down into the depths. And then some sharks start to realise that they've basically had a takeaway dropped off for them.

Starting off well enough, everyone is given obvious little moments to allow viewers to identify them once the sharks start circling, Deep Water quickly takes a bit of a nosedive, no pun intended. The cheesy and formulaic nature of the whole thing is only fun while it doesn't feel cheap and lazy, but it's not long until it starts feeling cheap and lazy. Six writers worked on this, SIX, and none of them do enough to make this as fun as it could be. Not only does it suffer in comparison to Harlin's own work (Deep Blue Sea remains one of the best shark movies from the past few decades), but it's also not quite as good as the very similar No Way Up. Maybe a better Harlin from the past could have saved this with his direction, but the Harlin of today doesn't seem capable.

Eckhart tries his best in the lead role, playing his reluctant hero as expected. He's matched by the young Wright, doing even better than many of the older cast members around her. Sampson is enjoyably loathsome, making you root for the sharks each time one seems close enough to eat him up, and everyone else seems to have come straight from their "How To Play Generic Characters In A Weak Ensemble 101" class. Nobody is helped by the screenplay, but some seem to be trying notably harder than others.

Without the benefit of a bigger budget, Deep Water should have at least piled on the ridiculousness. A dangerous criminal/psycho on the plane would have livened things up. An important cargo of refrigerated organs could have also added to the fun. Sadly, you just get Harlin and co. working their way through what feels very much like a box-ticking exercise, with the more ridiculously entertaining moments hampered by the fact that they've already been done better in past movies. Sometimes by Harlin himself.

And yet . . . if you don't mind the varying levels of quality when it comes to the CGI, and you're happy enough to add yet another shark movie to your watchlist, then this will help pass 106 minutes without causing you too much pain. I doubt anyone will ever give it a second viewing though.

4/10

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Netflix And Chill: The Thursday Murder Club (2025)

Okay, let me state this very clearly from the beginning, books and movies are very different things. You have to accept that they just cannot deliver the same experience. Liberties need to be taken when it comes to adapting something from the page to the screen. Having said that, I believe I made a mistake in rushing to read The Thursday Murder Club, a very successful murder mystery novel that started the lucrative fiction writer phase of Richard Osman's long and healthy career in the world of media and entertainment.

Let's get to the film anyway, and what it gets right. The Thursday Murder Club is set in a fairly luxurious retirement home, in which a few residents work together to see if they can find solutions to various cold cases. The club used to include an ex-PC named Penny (Susan Kirkby), but she is currently barely hanging on to life in the hospice wing. The main members are now Elizabeth (Helen Mirren), Ron (Pierce Brosnan), Ibrahim (Ben Kingsley), and, relative newcomer, Joyce (Celia Imrie). Each brings their own set of skills to the group, but Elizabeth appears to be the one with a past that has her most prepared for anything that can be thrown at them. And what ends up thrown at them is a new murder, a lot of suspects who seem very bleeding obvious, and ties between the past and present that recontextualize friendships and relationships. Oh, and then there's another murder.

Turned into screenplay form by Katy Brand and Suzanne Heathcote, The Thursday Murder Club would seem to be a hard film to get wrong. Chris Columbus is in the director's chair. The cast includes the four leads just mentioned, as well as Naomi Ackie and Daniel Mays as a couple of investigating officers, Henry Lloyd-Hughes and Tom Ellis as younger men who find themselves entangled in the creeping spiderwebs that the murder creates, and Jonathan Pryce, David Tennant, Geoff Bell, Paul Freeman, Ruth Sheen, and Richard E. Grant. It's a real pick 'n' mix of delightful performances.

So why does it feel like such a slog?

The dialogue generally works well, helped by the fact that it's being delivered by people who feel almost perfect in their roles (let's just not mention the accent that Brosnan uses), but the mystery feels half-baked and hard to care about. Having said this, I wonder if I feel that way because I just read the book. While I still stand by my opening statement, there are choices here that feel very odd, including a detail revealed in the very opening scenes that is actually held back in the book until a finale that shows all of the pieces finally falling into place. I can understand some things being omitted, one other plot strand would have required the runtime to have at least 5-10 minutes add on to what already pushes up close to the 2-hour mark, but that just makes it a bizarre experience for those who know the material well enough to know that certain characters and moments are only being hinted at while never being given the time and attention that they deserve.

Both the direction and writing feel trapped by a prison of their own design. They're either too beholden to the book, or they make strange decisions to veer away from elements that could have made the film a much more rewarding experience, for both readers and non-readers alike. And, as much as I complain about it as a new standard, would anyone be bothered if the runtime had been just over, instead of just under, two hours? Those ten extra minutes could have given us a very brief overview of two whole other lives, and those whole other lives feed into the main themes of aging, regret, and the repercussions of different choices made at crucial junctures.

Still, it's easy enough to forget the many mistakes and mis-steps made here when any scene revolves around Imrie having a twinkle in her eye and Mirren having a glint in hers. The cosy and easygoing feel of the whole thing will certainly appeal to those after something that feels like the movie equivalent of a comfortable pair of slippers. I just wish we'd been given nicer slippers. Slippers that stay warm and comfortable for the duration. Not the cheap kind that fall apart after one month of regular use. 

5/10

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Prime Time: The Killer's Game (2024)

The second feature film directed by J. J. Perry (after the enjoyable Night Shift), I have to start this review by saying that there was a lot here that seemed to be appealing directly to me. I like both Dave Bautista and Sofia Boutella, who have main roles here. I like a lot of movies about hitmen, of which this is one. And I like a lot of people in the supporting cast, from Scott Adkins to Terry Crews, and from Alex Kingston to Pom Klementieff . . . and I suppose that Ben Kingsley does okay in the right role. So it's a shame that this was so awful. 

Bautista plays Joe Flood, one of the best hitmen in the business. He meets a beautiful dancer named Maize Arnaud (Boutella), and that makes him start to consider retirement. Retirement isn't always a luxury afforded to hitmen though, especially when they have been as busy and successful as Joe. But when he is given bad news by a doctor, Joe decides the best thing to do is to put a contract on himself. Unfortunately, he soon discovers that he has a big reason to renegotiate, but Antoinette (Klementieff) isn't interested. She's sent out the call and a number of flamboyant killers have answered.

Apparently based on a book by Jay R. Bonansinga, The Killer's Game has a screenplay, written by Rand Ravich and James Coyne, that is one of the most derivative and tired I have encountered in the past year or two. The hitman ordering a hit on himself is standard stuff now, as is the change of circumstances coming along too late to stop the onslaught of greedy mercenary murderers, and everyone involved having their own quirky style makes it feel like something that would have been much more fun about twenty years ago, before that choice was used in far too many other movies.

Crews is a lot of fun in his role, and Scott Adkins has fun putting on a Scottish accent to work alongside Drew McIntyre, but they are the only ones who liven things up. Okay, Dylan Moran is an unexpected delight in his small role, playing a priest who receives quite the confession, and Kingston has a couple of amusing moments, but nobody else seems to stay awake in front of the cameras. Bautista seems very stilted and slow, and he has no chemistry with Boutella, who is hampered by being the love interest kept in the dark for most of the runtime. Klementieff fails to make her potential villain truly menacing or memorable, Kingsley is so low-key that he seems to have wandered in from a much calmer movie, and that covers the people who actually made any impression on me. 

Perry can showcase some action that feels visceral and impactful, but he even undermines that aspect of the film by trying to make everything more fun and funky with each main fight sequence choreographed to some pop song that, at best, ensures the film has zero tension and, at worst, reminds you of whenever tht song was used in some other, much better, movie.

The pacing isn't bad, some of the scenes look nice enough, and I am easily entertained by groups of people descending upon one another to engage in a mass brawl, but this is generally not worth your time. It's a huge disappointment, and every single main cast member has a handful of better films that you could enjoy checking out instead of this.

3/10

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Ani-MAY-tion: The Boxtrolls (2014)

Another slice of fine stop-motion entertainment from Laika, The Boxtrolls may be their weakest film so far but that doesn't mean it's bad. It just means that I have enjoyed their other films a little bit more. Laika have yet to disappoint me, and the visual beauty and creativity of Kubo And The Two Strings will take some beating as the jewel in their crown.

You won't be surprised to find that The Boxtrolls is a film about creatures called boxtrolls, trolls that live underground and wear boxes as clothing. They are deemed a dangerous menace, ever since they kidnapped and killed a young child, and an exterminator named Archibald Snatcher strikes a deal that will reward him handsomely when they are all gone. Of course, unbeknownst to the locals, the boxtrolls aren't really dangerous. There's a different story behind how they ended up with the child in their midst, but will anyone learn of it before all of the boxtrolls are dealt with?

With the usual level of beautifully detailed animation, Laika once again show that they're up there with the very best studios working in this field today. The world depicted in the movie may be a grubby one, for the most part, but it's rendered in such an eye-pleasing and stylish way that every scene still manages to look gorgeous.

The screenplay by Irena Brignull and Adam Pava, based on the novel "Here Be Monsters!" by Alan Snow, is very good when it comes to the development of the central characters and the main themes that come to the fore. There aren't loads of fun one-liners or verbal gags, it's not that kind of film, but the script carries everything surprisingly effortlessly while the animation layers on the comedy and quirkiness. And praise must be given to those who decided that a large part of the plot should revolve around a love of cheese tastings and the desire that Snatcher has to be sitting in on such an event, despite the reaction he has to cheese.

Isaac Hempstead Wright is the boy raised by the boxtrolls, he does well enough in his role, and Elle Fanning is a young girl who discovers his real identity after initially fearing him, and his troll brethren. Ben Kingsley is superb as Snatcher, the scheming exterminator, whether in his standard guise or in the form of  . . . well, you'll have to wait and see. He is in charge of three characters who are wonderfully voiced by Nick Frost, Richard Ayoade, and Tracy Morgan. Last, but not least, you have Jared Harris, the town official who thinks he is doing a good thing by hiring the services of Snatcher. The character played by Harris is also the father of the character played by Fanning, with the latter continually exasperated at the way she is ignored or dismissed by the former.

Directors Graham Annable and Anthony Stacchi do a great job at keeping things tonally perfect, helped by the script and the performances of their cast members. This is in line with every other Laika film in that it talks to children without ever talking down to children. Which is how the best animated movies are, and why every Laika movie is worthy of being considered among the best.

8/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy it here.

Netflix And Chill: Self/less (2015)

Warning: some plot spoilers lie ahead, and you may prefer to view this film with no advanced knowledge of the plot.

If I was a megarich businessman who was dying and I had the chance to have my consciousness transplanted into the body of Ryan Reynolds then I would do it, just as Ben Kingsley does here. But I would hope for a much smoother transition. Kingsley believes that he is buying a new body, you see, when it turns out that he's buying something that's already had one careful owner. And that gives him conflicting feelings, especially when the situation endangers a woman (Natalie Martinez) and young girl (Jaynee-Lynne Kinchen) he once loved, when he was still actually Reynolds and not Kingsley-Reynolds. This means that his procedure wasn't necessarily viewed as a success by the doctor (Matthew Goode) who performed it, and the doc has a lot of people ready to hunt Reynolds down and ensure that nobody finds out about the process, known as "shedding".

Written by Alex and David Pastor, who work together very often, Self/less is an enjoyable sci-fi action film that mixes Seconds with a little bit of The Bourne Identity (in enjoyable moments that see Reynolds remembering his army training as he fends off enemies). It's just a shame that there's not much more to it. It's not really thought-provoking or surprising enough throughout, there is certainly nothing here that won't be predicted by anyone with even the slightest knowledge of sci-fi, and the direction by Tarsem Singh is disappointingly lacking in any visual flair. The most unexpectedly entertaining section is a montage showing Reynolds having a great time in New Orleans, just before the trouble really starts for him, and it's then one obvious twist after another on the way to a finale that most will see coming almost right away.

Despite his billing, Kingsley is in the movie for a very brief amount of screentime. He does well in his role, but can largely be forgotten once Reynolds, who I tend to like in most movies, takes over. Martinez and Kinchen are both good, with the former having to be upset and shocked when she sees Reynolds back in her life, Victor Garber gives a great little turn as the best friend to Kingsley who eventually has to be told about, and convinced of, the situation, Goode is calm and cold throughout, and Derek Luke makes a great impression as the first friend that Reynolds makes in his new life.

Self/less is a decent enough watch, the 2-hour runtime passed by quickly enough and I enjoyed it while it was on. It just didn't bring anything new to the table, despite having the potential, and it's not one I will ever rush to rewatch. It's not even close to being the best "body-swap" movie starring Reynolds, considering how many he has starred in.

6/10

Self/less can be bought here.
Americans can get it here.