Prime Time: Call Me Claus (2001)

In an oft-used trope of the Christmas movie, Call Me Claus revolves around a central idea of someone hiring a Santa Claus “actor” who claims to be the real Santa Claus. There’s no ambiguity here. We know it is the real Santa Claus. We just need to see how long it takes to convince the central character, played here by Whoopi Goldberg.

Goldberg is Lucy Cullins, a powerful producer for a home shopping channel that is gearing up for that busy holiday shopping season. Desperate to find a Santa host, she ends up inadvertently hiring, yes, Santa (Nigel Hawthorne). This isn’t entirely coincidental. Santa is due to retire, and he knows that Lucy is due to inherit his role (he put his hat on her when she was a child visitor and he started to glow, which is THE SIGN). Lucy might not believe him though, her Christmas spirit seems to have been usurped by her hunger for continued career success. Oh well, it isn’t as if there are dire consequences expected if Santa doesn’t sort out his replacement in time. Oh wait . . . there are.

Director Peter Werner has an extensive selection of TV work throughout the past few decades, and his handling of this material shows what a steady and confident presence he is at the helm. This is what you expect it to be, a star vehicle that manages to play to a family audience, and everyone tries their best to make it something fun and light, while allowing Goldberg to feel like the right fit in the lead role.

She absolutely does. Yes, it’s fun to see her in movies where she can be more outrageous, whether that is in her physical performance or her choice of swear words, but this role allows her to play up the cynicism she does so well, as well as making good use of her in a Santa hat (because, quite frankly, seeing a black woman as a potential Santa still feels like a uniquely positive bit of seasonal representation over two decades after this was made). Hawthorne makes for a surprisingly good Santa, and I say surprisingly because of being familiar with his usual body type in his other roles. His manner is as kind and earnest as required, and he looks convincingly stressed and tired during the scenes that remind viewers of his urgent quest. Victor Garber, Alexandra Wentworth, and Brian Stokes Mitchell are all good fun, playing other people at the network in various positions of power, and Taylor Negron as an elf is an inspired bit of casting, because he seems both too tall and too grumpy for the role. You will also spot Frankie Faison, Bruce Vilanch, and Allyce Beasley in the cast. You may not recognise those names, but you will recognise the faces.

It may not be surprising that the writers involved with this don’t have the most extensive filmographies, and I say that in terms of the unique feeling of the film, not in terms of the quality. More interesting, however, is the fact that these people don’t have the “time served” in Christmas (TV) movies you usually see, although this is reflected in the way that the movie avoids slavishly copying every other seasonal TV movie. 

Although you may prefer many of her other movie roles, this film is a lovely mix of Whoopi Goldberg and festive trimmings. It has more proper laughs than you get in most films in this vein, but it also remembers to deliver the comforting glow and occasional “ho ho ho” that make it a sweet Christmas treat.

7/10

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Happiest Season (2020)

Directed, and co-written, by Clea DuVall, Happiest Season is the LGBTQ+ Christmas movie that you never knew you wanted. And it's yet another great role for Kristen Stewart, who continues to prove herself with performances so often ignored by her detractors.

Stewart is Abby, a young woman excited by the prospect of spending Christmas with her partner, Harper (Mackenzie Davis), and Harper's family. She hasn't met any of them before, which makes the whole thing a very big deal. There's just one problem. Harper hasn't come out to her family. She asks Abby to play along for the time being, pretending to be just a flatmate, and assures her that she will tell everyone when the time is right. The expected shenanigans ensue, with Abby trying her best to please everyone.

A great blend of comedy, Christmas trimmings, and moments that feel painfully honest, Happiest Season really brings out the best in everyone involved. DuVall has been honing her directorial skills for a number of years, and shows just how good a match she is for this material (which feels very autobiographical at times, a personal movie that allows DuVall to share some of her own feelings/experiences from her life). There are moments that many viewers may think take things a bit too far, with people watching and insisting that if they were Abby then they would have left almost at the very start of things, but think back to your own relationships, to times when someone has asked you to just play along with a white lie, or to attend a function you didn't want to be at, and remember how long you would put up with it for the sake of someone you love. Meanwhile, your partner starts to relax, and forgets how uncomfortable, or neglected, you might be feeling. That's what happens here, but with the added tricky knot of sexuality, and someone being too afraid to show others who they really are.

Stewart is a great presence in what is arguably her best role yet, perhaps giving her moments she also already felt familiar with. Davis is also very good, and her casting in the role of Harper makes it a bit easier to tolerate her character as she continues to become a bit more selfish and insensitive. Alison Brie and Mary Holland play two very different sister, both competing alongside Davis for the affections of their parents (played by Mary Steenburgen and Victor Garber). Brie does her all-too-perfect act that she's done a number of times before, while Holland, who also co-wrote the movie, is a scene-stealer as someone who hasn't achieved as much as either of her sisters, but is at least relatively happy in her life. As for the aforementioned Steenburgen and Garber, both are excellent, with Steenburgen having much more of the screentime, and a number of moments in which she is snippy to people destabilising her planned perfect Christmas. Aubrey Plaza and Jake McDorman are two very different ex-partners, allowing Abby to find out more about the woman she loves, a woman she is now not sure she even knows, and Dan Levy is wonderful and hilarious as John, a gay BFF who spends a lot of the movie advising Abby over the phone.

The best thing about Happiest Season is that every different element feels genuine. There are genuine laughs, there's a genuine authenticity to the central premise, and the moments that bring the drama and heart of the film feel genuine, and serve as a constant reminder of what so many people still go through in far too many households. Oh, it's also very much always a Christmas movie, so don't think I am suddenly viewing this as cinéma vérité, but the many small moments that need to feel real DO feel real.

Highly recommended, and I hope DuVall has enough success with this to allow her to pick another project that she connects to just as strongly.

8/10

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Netflix And Chill: Self/less (2015)

Warning: some plot spoilers lie ahead, and you may prefer to view this film with no advanced knowledge of the plot.

If I was a megarich businessman who was dying and I had the chance to have my consciousness transplanted into the body of Ryan Reynolds then I would do it, just as Ben Kingsley does here. But I would hope for a much smoother transition. Kingsley believes that he is buying a new body, you see, when it turns out that he's buying something that's already had one careful owner. And that gives him conflicting feelings, especially when the situation endangers a woman (Natalie Martinez) and young girl (Jaynee-Lynne Kinchen) he once loved, when he was still actually Reynolds and not Kingsley-Reynolds. This means that his procedure wasn't necessarily viewed as a success by the doctor (Matthew Goode) who performed it, and the doc has a lot of people ready to hunt Reynolds down and ensure that nobody finds out about the process, known as "shedding".

Written by Alex and David Pastor, who work together very often, Self/less is an enjoyable sci-fi action film that mixes Seconds with a little bit of The Bourne Identity (in enjoyable moments that see Reynolds remembering his army training as he fends off enemies). It's just a shame that there's not much more to it. It's not really thought-provoking or surprising enough throughout, there is certainly nothing here that won't be predicted by anyone with even the slightest knowledge of sci-fi, and the direction by Tarsem Singh is disappointingly lacking in any visual flair. The most unexpectedly entertaining section is a montage showing Reynolds having a great time in New Orleans, just before the trouble really starts for him, and it's then one obvious twist after another on the way to a finale that most will see coming almost right away.

Despite his billing, Kingsley is in the movie for a very brief amount of screentime. He does well in his role, but can largely be forgotten once Reynolds, who I tend to like in most movies, takes over. Martinez and Kinchen are both good, with the former having to be upset and shocked when she sees Reynolds back in her life, Victor Garber gives a great little turn as the best friend to Kingsley who eventually has to be told about, and convinced of, the situation, Goode is calm and cold throughout, and Derek Luke makes a great impression as the first friend that Reynolds makes in his new life.

Self/less is a decent enough watch, the 2-hour runtime passed by quickly enough and I enjoyed it while it was on. It just didn't bring anything new to the table, despite having the potential, and it's not one I will ever rush to rewatch. It's not even close to being the best "body-swap" movie starring Reynolds, considering how many he has starred in.

6/10

Self/less can be bought here.
Americans can get it here.