Shudder Saturday: Dark Match (2024)

A wrestling horror movie may not sound like a lot of fun, but I suppose if you like wrestling and/or horror then you may get something from it. That would be the theroy anyway, and the presence of Chris Jericho certainly shows that writer-director Lowell Dean wants wrestling fans to have fun with this. I'm not sure they will.

A group of wrestlers are signed up for a job by their pretty useless manager (Rusty, played by Jonathan Cherry) that will leave them fighting for a small crowd in the middle of nowhere. The pay seems decent though, but only until everyone figures out exactly what is going on. This isn't just a series of wrestling matches. It's all designed to appease a cult and progress their nefarious plan. 

Aside from Ayihsa Issa and Steven Ogg, who I am picking as nominal leads here, Dark Match suffers from the fact that too few of the characters are worth caring about. Cherry plays his part with gusto, and he's fun, but you don't care about him. Mo Adan, Sara Canning, Michael Eklund, Stephanie Wolf, Jonathan Lepine, Justin Lawrick, and even Jericho himself don't have enough to work with in order to stand out. Okay, the latter gets a scheming panto villain moment here and there, but it's not any fun. And this film should have at least aimed to be fun.

Despite the fact that I am not into wrestling, I see why people are drawn to it. The athleticism, the showmanship, the ongoing soap opera that sets up so many different battles with different stakes. Those who are really into it tend to be DEEP into it, which is why no 94-minute movie could hope to compare. There's no attachment to anyone here, despite some of their recent history being mentioned or hinted at, and that means it's hard to really feel invested in any of the wrestling matches.

Dean does okay with his budget and resources, I guess, but it doesn't take long to notice that the two main sets are the wrestling ring and a dressing room area. Things are shot clearly enough though, and the action is visible and easy to follow, if also disappointingly dull.

I didn't find this painful or overlong, but I did spend a lot of time just waiting for everything to be wrapped up so I could end it and get on with the rest of my day. And the ending was pretty dire, considering it just reminded me of a Tenacious D music video. So I won't ever want to rewatch this, and I cannot think of anyone I would highly recommend it to. Issa, Ogg, and Cherry are the highlights. Everything else is just a bit . . . blah.

3/10

If you have enjoyed this, or any other, review on the blog then do consider the following ways to show your appreciation. A subscription/follow costs nothing, and ALL of the links you need are here - https://linktr.ee/raidersofthepodcast
Or you may have a couple of quid to throw at me, in Ko-fi form - https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews
Or Amazon is nice at this time of year - https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/Y1ZUCB13HLJD?ref_=wl_share

Terrifier 3 (2024)

So . . . I didn't love Terrifier. And I certainly didn't love Terrifier 2. I've not really been a fan of the combination of Damien Leone and Art the Clown since All Hallow's Eve. Which means that I can understand why people would question why I would even give Terrifier 3 the time of day. Well, first of all, I keep hoping for the series to reach the potential it has. Second, it's important to actually watch every movie that you want to have an opinion on. If I disliked, or dismissed, Terrifier 3 without even watching it then people could quite rightly ignore my ignorant take on it. Every unwatched movie has a chance to be great, no matter what you thought of any prequels, sequels, or other elements connected to it. Oh, and I saw that it was basically a Christmas horror movie, and I do like to add any new Christmas horror movies to my schedule at this time of year.

In a way that almost completely proves my point, Terrifier 3 turns out to be the best of the series so far. I'm not sure if a full plot summary is required here. Art the Clown (played once again by David Howard Thornton) ends up on another killing spree, accompanied by the seriously mutilated Victoria (Samantha Scaffidi). It's surely only a matter of time until they relocate the plucky Sienna (Lauren LaVera), who is now living with her uncle and aunt (played by Bryce Johnson and Margaret Anne Florence, respectively).

Whether Leone now has more freedom and scope to play around, or whether the film is simply helped enormously by juxtaposing the bloodshed of Art with the festive decor of Christmas, Terrifier 3 is almost as great as I always wanted the series to be. The gore and nastiness are still there, and those seeking it out will be satisfied, but there's a gleeful tone to the carnage that makes it a much better viewing experience. While I have been impressed by the extended torture and kill scenes in previous instalments in this series, they were often undeniably grim. This has a playfulness to it that helps to break up the vomit-inducing gore gags. The script still needs some work, it's too long and gets a bit tiresome when interrupting the flow of the whole thing to build the mythology of the series, but it's a step up from everything else that came before it.

The cast, aside from Thornton, Scaffidi, and LaVera, are largely irrelevant. They're not bad, far from it, but they're all available to be potential victims of Art, and they just don't get any chance to steal any scenes away from the three main cast members who spend the majority of the runtime as sides of a triangle that viewers know will be fully formed before the end credits roll. There are also some fun cameos, including Jason Patric, Tom Savini, and Chris Jericho, but the other names worth mentioning are the legendary Clint Howard and Daniel Roebuck, with the latter portraying the Santa actor who finds himself in big trouble when Art takes a liking to his beard and traditional garb.

If Leone can find a way to do this again, make use of Art in a way that skewers something traditionally full of good feeling and warmth, then he might be able to take this series from strength to strength. Maybe have Art hiding out in a religious community, or pretending he has been asked to teach mime to kindergarten kids, or maybe interrupting dates on Valentine's Day with people thinking he is about to deliver a message of love before he instead delivers painful death. You get the idea. Art works best when he is being dark AND silly, and dark and silly works best when shown alongside something light and earnest.

7/10

If you have enjoyed this, or any other, review on the blog then do consider the following ways to show your appreciation. A subscription/follow costs nothing, and ALL of the links you need are here - https://linktr.ee/raidersofthepodcast
Or you may have a couple of quid to throw at me, in Ko-fi form - https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews
Or Amazon is nice at this time of year - https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/Y1ZUCB13HLJD?ref_=wl_share