Terrifier 3 (2024)

So . . . I didn't love Terrifier. And I certainly didn't love Terrifier 2. I've not really been a fan of the combination of Damien Leone and Art the Clown since All Hallow's Eve. Which means that I can understand why people would question why I would even give Terrifier 3 the time of day. Well, first of all, I keep hoping for the series to reach the potential it has. Second, it's important to actually watch every movie that you want to have an opinion on. If I disliked, or dismissed, Terrifier 3 without even watching it then people could quite rightly ignore my ignorant take on it. Every unwatched movie has a chance to be great, no matter what you thought of any prequels, sequels, or other elements connected to it. Oh, and I saw that it was basically a Christmas horror movie, and I do like to add any new Christmas horror movies to my schedule at this time of year.

In a way that almost completely proves my point, Terrifier 3 turns out to be the best of the series so far. I'm not sure if a full plot summary is required here. Art the Clown (played once again by David Howard Thornton) ends up on another killing spree, accompanied by the seriously mutilated Victoria (Samantha Scaffidi). It's surely only a matter of time until they relocate the plucky Sienna (Lauren LaVera), who is now living with her uncle and aunt (played by Bryce Johnson and Margaret Anne Florence, respectively).

Whether Leone now has more freedom and scope to play around, or whether the film is simply helped enormously by juxtaposing the bloodshed of Art with the festive decor of Christmas, Terrifier 3 is almost as great as I always wanted the series to be. The gore and nastiness are still there, and those seeking it out will be satisfied, but there's a gleeful tone to the carnage that makes it a much better viewing experience. While I have been impressed by the extended torture and kill scenes in previous instalments in this series, they were often undeniably grim. This has a playfulness to it that helps to break up the vomit-inducing gore gags. The script still needs some work, it's too long and gets a bit tiresome when interrupting the flow of the whole thing to build the mythology of the series, but it's a step up from everything else that came before it.

The cast, aside from Thornton, Scaffidi, and LaVera, are largely irrelevant. They're not bad, far from it, but they're all available to be potential victims of Art, and they just don't get any chance to steal any scenes away from the three main cast members who spend the majority of the runtime as sides of a triangle that viewers know will be fully formed before the end credits roll. There are also some fun cameos, including Jason Patric, Tom Savini, and Chris Jericho, but the other names worth mentioning are the legendary Clint Howard and Daniel Roebuck, with the latter portraying the Santa actor who finds himself in big trouble when Art takes a liking to his beard and traditional garb.

If Leone can find a way to do this again, make use of Art in a way that skewers something traditionally full of good feeling and warmth, then he might be able to take this series from strength to strength. Maybe have Art hiding out in a religious community, or pretending he has been asked to teach mime to kindergarten kids, or maybe interrupting dates on Valentine's Day with people thinking he is about to deliver a message of love before he instead delivers painful death. You get the idea. Art works best when he is being dark AND silly, and dark and silly works best when shown alongside something light and earnest.

7/10

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Bonus Review: Willow Creek (2013)

After mulling it over for a while, I have decided that Willow Creek isn't the worst film I've seen in some time. There are positives to note. Unfortunately, much like the Bigfoot-hunters it takes a cue from, you really have to dig around until you uncover those positives.

Written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait, this is a found footage film about a couple who are looking for Bigfoot. They're not completely obsessed. Jim (Bryce Johnson) believes that he could look for some interesting evidence at a well-known hotspot, whereas his girlfriend, Kelly (Alexie Gilmore), just goes along with him for the fun of it. But the fun doesn't last for the whole journey. In fact, a night spent in their tent might just prove to be more terrifying than they could have ever imagined.

Unfortunately, what I've just described above doesn't necessarily translate into an exciting, tense experience for viewers. The biggest problem with Willow Creek is that it's just so damn boring. Anyone who thought The Blair Witch Project was dull needs to steer well clear of this. Goldthwait, to his credit, does his best to maintain consistency of style throughout, and he also sprinkles a few nice details and moments of foreshadowing here and there, but there's very little he can do to compensate for the many scenes that just feel unnecessary and drawn out.

The sequence showing Jim and Kelly reacting to activity around their tent is very well done, with all of the tension created by noise and suggestion. Sadly, it can also be viewed as a bit of a cop out by someone who seems to be enjoying stretching a dollar way beyond breaking point.

Johnson and Gilmore both do well in the main roles, and it's refreshing to see this kind of movie that doesn't just name the characters after the main actors, and they're likeable and believable enough, for the most part. A few other faces pop up onscreen to provide more backstory/context, but it's mostly down to the two leads to carry the whole thing, which they try their best to do.

That's about all I can say about this film, however, because it's about as paper-thin as you can get. As well as the usual flaws that so often crop up in found footage films - with the biggest being a sense of amazement at anyone who keeps a camera filming during any of the more stressful moments - we get a real lack of anything that feels like a reward for viewers having such patience. Perhaps this is deliberate, maybe the entire movie is delivering an experience akin to being an actual Bigfoot hunter, with all of the frustration and disappointment that entails.

Or maybe it's just a bad movie.

4/10

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The Skulls III (2004)

The second sequel to The Skulls (as I’m sure you already gathered from the title) improves slightly on the previous movie thanks to one significant difference – the protagonist this time around is female.

Clare Kramer plays Taylor Brooks, a determined and smart young woman who finds a loophole allowing her to be considered for acceptance by The Skulls, a secret society that’s not really all that secret. If you have seen the previous movies then you know the drill by now – someone gets to join The Skulls, things become a bit strained, deceit and/or death occurs, everything goes sour for the new recruit, a plan is hatched to fix everything and cancel the lifetime membership.

J. Miles Dale directs this time and he does just what you’d expect with a second sequel to a middling teen thriller. Joe Johnson’s script tries to surprise but savvy viewers will always know exactly what’s coming.

Kramer isn’t too bad in the lead role and her character is easier to root for than the previous protagonists as she overcomes extra adversity and discrimination due to her gender. Bryce Johnson sneers capably enough, Steve Braun is just fine in the role as supportive fellow Skull newbie and Dean McDermott and Maria del Mar are both pretty bad as two detectives trying to solve a case that is revealed as the movie progresses (the main character is telling her side of things to the police as the movie gets underway). Barry Bostwick fans may be pleased to see . . . . . . . . . . Barry Bostwick in a prominent role. He does okay but it’s more of a fun performance than anything remotely realistic and  believable.

The Skulls III shouldn’t exist but it does and it’s actually quite watchable. It’s not really all that good but it’s not really all that bad either. Which is why it gets such an average rating.  

5/10

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