Vice Academy Part 2 (1990)

Yes, I like to mix things up in my viewing schedule. And I like to keep a good mix of reviews on my blog. Which is why I didn’t use the space today to review The Great Beauty, which I watched just before this. I am also waiting for the right time to put down my thoughts on the excellent The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford. Which is why you now have some words here on a film that barely feels like a film, Vice Academy Part 2.

A number of people return to reprise their roles from the first movie. The warring Holly Wells (Ginger Lynn) and Didi (Linnea Quigley) are still fairly new recruits in the world of the police. They are forced to work together, setting out to thwart a plan by Spanish Fly (Marina Benvenga) to pollute the water supply with an aphrodisiac concoction. They also need to work together to prove to the cocky Petrolino (Scott Layne) that women can be just as good at police work as men. 

Don’t worry. None of the plot here involves anything remotely close to actual police work. It is, once again, an excuse to make bad jokes, throw around some gratuitous nudity, and belatedly parody Robocop with a new member of the squad being tested (BimboCop, played by Teagan Clive).

Rick Sloane is the man responsible for all of this, again, giving himself the role of writer-director-producer with his main aim to make something cheap ‘n’ cheerful that will titillate fans of the leading ladies. Never mind trying to cover up the low budget, never mind attempting anything logical, this is a slight sketch stretched out to feature length. And it was even stretched out to a few more sequels after this.

Lynn and Quigley are quite bad, but that is part of the charm for anyone, like myself, who considers themselves a fan. I will watch Quigley in anything, and I have, and her constant overacting is inextricably part of her onscreen persona. Layne is a decent enough meathead, who you look forward to seeing mistreated, and Jayne Hamil is once again a bit of fun in the role of Miss Devonshire, the boss who tries to manage our leads. Clive is okay as BimboCop, despite the joke falling flat from the start, and Benvenga is a fun, non-threatening, villain. Nobody else is worth mentioning, with the exception of Jo Steele in the role of Jeannie, an attractive colleague who usually works on the switchboard.

You should already know whether or not you will already give it your time. It is, in many ways, absolutely terrible. It is also a bit better than the first movie. I wouldn’t rush to rewatch any of these, but I won’t hate myself for giving them some of my time. Although I don’t know if that sentiment will change when I eventually check out the rest of the movies in the series.

5/10

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Vice Academy (1989)

It’s easy to remember the cinematic trends that ended up making a huge impact. The template for buddy cop flicks, for example. Superhero-populated cinematic universes. Films about little creatures that came out not long after Gremlins. But it’s also worth noting the cinematic trends that came and went without making anywhere near the same amount of impact. Like the films that came along after Police Academy. Not only did you get a number of forgettable comedy films about hopeless amateurs being thrown into situations way over their heads, there were also a number of films that tried to cash in on that film’s success by cannily re-using the word “academy” in the title. I have seen Combat Academy (starring Keith Gordon, and also featuring a role for one George Clooney). I never did see Mortuary Academy (which I do want to see). And now I have finally seen Vice Academy.

Written and directed by Rick Sloane, Vice Academy is a paper-thin comedy with very few laughs, although there are one or two there for the more forgiving viewer. The best way to view it is simply as a fan of some of  the stars, and those stars are Linnea Quigley, Ginger Lynn, and Karen Russell. So you should know what kind of film you are in for.

If you think I have forgotten to mention the plot, I haven’t. The plot is irrelevant. Essentially about some hopeless trainees working towards earning a spot in the vice squad. Those trainees are played by Quigley, Russell, and Ken Abraham. They aren’t impressing their teacher/boss (Jayne Hamil), and their progress is being hampered by the “good girl” scheming to ensure they fail (played by Ginger Lynn). But maybe they can accidentally find a way to show everyone how good they are before the end credits roll, even if they still never actually seem to deserve their chances.

Technically, this is lousy. It feels cheap and rushed throughout, the acting from everyone involved is far from great, and the plot could have been written down on the back of a small sachet of salt. There’s nothing of note in any part of the production, from the camerawork to the editing, from the production design to the score. Having said that, it at least sometimes attempts to look more like a film than a cheap project allowing friends to work together in some nice house they have found (*cough* David DeCoteau *cough).

You don’t put on a film like Vice Academy when you want to watch an actual good movie. It is the epitome of something to watch with “beer and pizza”, even if you don’t indulge in either of those things. Switch your brain off, wait for the occasional bit of nudity, and keep your frame of mind receptive to humour that wouldn’t feel out of place in a Fred Olen Ray movie, or even a tame Troma flick.

4/10

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American Pie Presents Band Camp (2005)

The first of the American Pie franchise instalments to go straight to video, this is an offshoot from the original trio that moves the focus away from the gang that audiences got to know and love and puts the character of . . . . . . . . Matt Stifler (Steve Stifler's younger brother, played here by Tad Hilgenbrink) front and centre. It's a shift of focus that doesn't bode well, and as the film goes on things start to get worse and worse.

The plot is as follows: Matt Stifler is a complete douchebag (not my opinion, he IS a complete douchebag . . . . . . imagine Steve Stifler with absolutely no minor moments of likeability whatsoever) and when he decides to play a mean-spirited prank on the school band he is punished by being made to spend his Summer holiday at band camp. This gives him a chance to secretly record some of the girls getting nekkid, or so he hopes, and it also keeps him in close proximity to the lovely Elyse (Arielle Kebbel).

Almost everything that you loved about the first three American Pie movies is absent here. First of all, this cast just doesn't have the appeal and/or charisma that the lads from the previous movies had. Tad Hilgenbrink is terrible in the lead role, but he's not helped by a script (written by Brad Riddell) that fails to do enough to offset his moments of major douchebaggery. Kebbel is actually quite likeable, and Eugene Levy and Chris Owen carry some goodwill along with them, but only because we know their characters from the previous movies. Ginger Lynn has an amusing role and Omar Benson Miller is easy to warm to, but those two have minor supporting roles. The folk with more screentime, such as Jason Earles, Crystle Lightning, Matt Barr and Lauren C. Mayhew, are all either unmemorable or unpleasant.

If director Steve Rash tried to overcome that problem by throwing in more laughs or even, let's be honest here, more gratuitous nudity to please the target demographic then maybe the film would rise up to a level of average. Sadly, he doesn't even think to do that. The movie is one big tease, which is fine for a film that wants to be subtle or sophisticated while chalking up the gags. It's not fine for a film that has the words American Pie in the title.

So, we have no laughs (well, only a few, at a push), no characters worth rooting for, a low-budget version of the soundtracks used in the first three American Pie movies and even a lack of any nudity that teenage males should enjoy - although the unrated version runs about 3 minutes longer and at least panders to that base requirement.

3/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/American-Pie-Presents-Band-Camp/dp/B000B7VZNI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1368608188&sr=8-1&keywords=american+pie+band+camp