Prime Time: A Very British Christmas (2019)

It's not surprising to see that this is the only feature, to date, written (well . . . co-written) by Karl Hall. It is surprising to see that it's not the only feature directed by Steven Nesbit though. A Very British Christmas feels like one of those personal projects that someone does to get their friends and family together and have a bit of fun. It's not very good, but I would also not dismiss it as completely terrible.

Rachel Shenton plays the beautiful opera singer, Jessica, who ends up stranded in a small Yorkshire village. She ends up staying at the vacation site managed by Andrew (Mark Killeen), receiving a warm welcome from him, his young daughter (Katie, played by Isla Cook), and his mother (Sandra, played by Michele Dotrice). There are also friendly faces at the local coffee shop. Unfortunately, the area is under threat from Ben Ritchie (Steve Evets), who is pressuring Andrew into selling his land to a mining company. That would be a nice payday for both men, but it would effectively destroy the village. Jessica ends up spending more time in the village than anticipated, and she starts to be won over by the place. And the people.

Aside from a fun turn from Evets (real name Steven Murphy, he picked a palindrome when he started acting because of another Steve Murphy being in the business), the biggest problem with A Very British Christmas is the standard of the acting. Nobody is really helped by the script either, but it's hard to consider whether or not this cast would have done much better with better writing. The two main leads aren't that bad, and both of them are able to keep sneaking glances at one another with an obvious hint of the feelings developing between them, but Cook mugs terribly as the cute and unfiltered child, Dotrice looks as if she's trying to remember how to nail her emotions and dialogue, and Jennifer Bryer and Adam Fogerty, both working in the coffee shop, are hampered by the fact that they're given the job of being involved in scenes that mishandle some quirky comedy. Paul Barber is fun to spot in a cameo, but that's mainly because you can wonder about his familiarity until you remember that he was Denzil in Only Fools And Horses.

Nesbit tries to make the best of things, occasionally distracting viewers from the weak screenplay with some lovely shots of the picturesque village setting or moments infused with the warming glow of lovely Christmas spirit, and both he and Hall know what needs to happen within the parameters of this kind of easygoing and predictable Christmas movie, but the combination of weak writing and awkward acting do enough to stop this from being an undemanding distraction. There are so many other films you can choose while getting on with the usual seasonal activities, whether you're wanting background noise or a firm favourite that you can check in and out of for the "greatest hits", and I doubt that anyone will even remember that this exists within a few years . . . except for the cast members who may hang on to their personal copies and remind people that they have at least one IMDb credit to their name.

4/10

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Shudder Saturday: The Blood On Satan's Claw (1971)

A film that is probably still underseen today, or considered that way by those who love it, The Blood On Satan's Claw is a creepy and intriguing slice of folk horror that easily sits up there alongside some other classics of the subgenre (such as The Wicker Man and Witchfinder General).

Things all start to get strange when a young man finds some strange remains in a field that he is ploughing. Sensing that there is something wrong with his find, he tells others, but it's initially shrugged off. Meanwhile, something is affecting a number of local residents, not least a group of the younger folk who start to band together into a dangerous coven.

Directed by Piers Haggard (who directed a lot of forgettable stuff, but also did this and the 1981 film that put Klaus Kinski and Oliver Reed in close proximity to a deadly snake, Venom), this brooding horror film is a wonderful mix of the subtle and the bonkers. You get people acting creepy, you get mistrust and division creeping through the community, but you also get glimpses of a diabolical beast (or, at the very least, a furry hand with sharp claws), and a number of people developing patches of excess hair on their body (the Devil's Skin).

The script, mainly written by Robert Wynne-Simmons, with input from Haggard, manages to build one small moment on top of another in a way that allows things to get truly diabolical by the grand finale without having felt too silly or unbelievable. That's an impressive feat, and even more impressive when you consider the individual elements once the film has finished.

The cast all do a good job in their roles, even the lovely Linda Hayden as Angel (who ends up having to act under some extra-thick eyebrow growth, signifying her evil as she leads the corrupted youths who come under her thrall). Patrick Wymark is The Judge, the main authority figure who the locals assume will be able to get to the bottom of things, Barry Andrews is the young man who makes the fateful discovery, Anthony Ainley is the reverend who senses that something is seriously wrong, and Michele Dotrice and Wendy Padbury stand out as two girls grasped by the coven in very different ways.

If you're interested in British horror movies then this is a title that you really need to check out. If you're interested in the more niche selection of folk horror movies then this is essential viewing (alongside the two titles mentioned in the first paragraph - throw in Robin Redbreast and you have a fine primer). And if you end up enjoying it, as you should, then make sure you turn others on to it.

8/10

You can buy the movie here.
Or here.

The Witches (1966)

It may not be the worst horror movie ever released by Hammer but this is certainly one of their weaker efforts, albeit one that still just about manages to entertain for most of its runtime thanks to some amusing overacting and a nice juxtaposition of the possibility of evil deeds being planned/happening alongside a quaint, rural and very British village community.

Joan Fontaine stars as Gwen Mayfield, a teacher who has recovered from severe personal trauma (and breakdown) after a spell in Africa saw her caught up amidst a revolt from the locals led by their witch doctor. All seems well when she is given a position in a small, English village, but it's not long before she suspects that things are far more sinister below the surface and that some of her young charges may very well be in some danger. Is there any truth to this or is it just the product of an overactive, already broken, mind?

While the movie (adapted from the Norah Lofts AKA Peter Curtis novel by Nigel Kneale, who has managed far better writing elsewhere) is fairly enjoyable when building a tense atmosphere of paranoia and mistrust around Fontaine's character, it simply teeters over to ridiculousness far too quickly. Things are not helped by the level of acting displayed by everyone involved. Fontaine is all big hair and eye-rolling nervousness, Kay Walsh is far too polite and proper to even be interesting, Alec McCowen doesn't have a lot to do and everyone else is either as hammy as a ham sandwich made by Hammy The Hamster while he wears his West Ham scarf (step forward . . . Gwen Ffrangcon Davies) or far too stilted and caught up in the old-fashioned acting style of . . . . . . . well, just standing in the right spot and making sure that the pronunciation is perfect. Martin Stephens and Ingrid Boulting (billed here as Ingrid Brett) play the two main youngsters who may be in danger, and they at least have youth and relative inexperience to excuse any failings.

Director Cyril Frankel shows no real competence here, and the final reel is quite a damp squib considering the build up towards it. The Wicker Man this ain't. In fact, taken as a comedy it may work thanks to some terrible, stereotypical "am-dram" interpretive dance moves during a finale as laughable as it is uninvolving.

Coincidentally, fans of UK TV comedy should keep their eyes peeled for Michele Dotrice and Leonard Rossiter in small roles.

Disappointing as a straight horror, but entertaining enough for a number of wrong reasons.

5/10

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And Soon The Darkness (1970)

Directed by Robert Fuest, and written by Brian Clemens and Terry Nation (familiar to fans of some classic UK TV shows), And Soon The Darkness stars Pamela Franklin and Michele Dotrice as, respectively, Jane and Cathy. The two young girls are enjoying a cycling holiday in France and taking in the sights around them, with Jane enjoying the countryside while Cathy eyes up the men. The two girls argue, however, and Jane heads off to spend some time on her own. When she returns it seems that Cathy is missing. But where is she, who is she with and is she safe? Perhaps Paul (Sandor Eles) can be of help, though he is acting slightly suspicious. Maybe the gendarme (John Nettleton) would be the better option.

Far from a perfect thriller, And Soon The Darkness will be viewed by fans of the genre more as a curio piece than a wholly satisfying piece of work. It certainly starts off feeling like many of the groovy Britflicks that came from the preceding decade but then quickly starts to build up some nice tension and a great evocation of being a stranger in a strange land.

In fact, I'd argue that few films have really nailed that feeling of utter helplessness in a foreign country as this one has. A holiday is about taking in the sights, having fun and using what little language you may know to get by. When an emergency occurs it's made ten times worse by realising just how out of your depth you may be.

The script by Clemens and Nation is okay, the performances aren't bad (Franklin does better than Dotrice while Eles and Nettleton are both very good) and the direction is solid but everything comes together somehow to lift the film from average to pretty damn good. As Pamela Franklin grows more and more panicked and vulnerable, the film really takes hold and it becomes easier and easier to empathise with someone in such a horrible situation.

Of course, the movie is quite dated nowadays (though it was given a decent update with a 2010 remake) and has lost some power but when watching it do try to remember that, even in 1970, travelling abroad was a much bigger deal and a much riskier venture than it is these days. Journeys took a lot longer, there weren't any translation or map apps to help and even just hopping over to France was a big deal and an adventure. The film captures all of that perfectly, and that makes it well worth checking out.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/And-Soon-The-Darkness-DVD/dp/B000N3T2NU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1345762326&sr=8-1