Death On The Nile (2022)

It took me long enough to get around to this, the second Poirot adventure starring, and directed by, Kenneth Branagh, and I was wondering if I should delay it any long as the earliest scenes played out (a sequence showing Poirot in wartime action that feels far too much like a superhero origin prologue). Things did not bode well. Thankfully, the rest of the film is much better, helped by a sprawling cast that has enough welcome performers to make up for those you may be less inclined to want on your screen.

Everything is basically summed up by the title. Poirot is invited to join the celebrations of a pair of newlyweds (Armie Hammer and Gal Gadot), as well as an assemblage of friends and acquaintances. There's trouble in the air though. An angry ex (Emma Mackey), who may be out for deadly revenge.

With Michael Green back for the job of adapting Agatha Christie's work into movie form, and Branagh very comfortable as the lead, there's very little here that should deter those who enjoyed Murder On The Orient Express. I would say that this is a more showy and beautiful film, helped in no small part by the setting, and Branagh has never been someone who could be accused of lacking confidence or the ability to add multiple cinematic flourishes to very traditional material.

Hammer is fine in his role, Gadot feels very much out of her depth, and Mackey is good fun, but the best moments come from many of the supporting players. Annette Bening and (returning) Tom Bateman are both on great form, a mother and son who both view Poirot in quite different ways. It's always nice to see Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders working alongside one another onscreen again. Rose Leslie does okay with a fairly anaemic role, and Russell Brand appears just often enough to make his inclusion feel unfortunate, but both Letitia Wright and Sophie Okonedo light up the screen with their presence. Branagh remains a lot of fun as Poirot, once the film moves beyond that unwanted opening sequence, and he's allowed, as usual, to showboat and relish his dialogue in the grand finale.

It doesn’t seem right to mention plotting in an adaptation of Agatha Christie, but fans should be pleased that this feels nicely in line with what you would expect from her. I haven’t read the source material (note to self, get back to exploring more Agatha Christie tales), but Christie is such a known institution that it would be very easy to tell when something felt . . . off.

Not great, not exactly cinematic throughout (despite Branagh trying his best), but comforting and enjoyable nonetheless. I may even get around to the next film very shortly, considering that has the bonus of Michelle Yeoh in one of the main roles. Or maybe I will take as long to get around to it as I took to get around to this one. After all, they don’t exactly set my little grey cells on fire with excitement.

6/10

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Trolls (2016)

I think it's always important when discussing a movie aimed at children to remind people of how immature and childish I can be. When people tell you to try remembering how it felt like to be a wide-eyed child . . . I'm already there. I'm not going to compare a children's movie to, say, Casablanca (although some are gold-plated classics in a different way from that Bogart vehicle), but I am still going to expect it to do a certain job.

Trolls is an odd film in almost every sense. First of all, it's based on those little troll dolls that I thought had faded out of our shared consciousness back in the 1990s (the last thing I remember about them was a console game on the Sega Mega-CD, I want to say). Second, it's a film that patches together a number of horrible cover versions of songs, almost as if every main scene was initially planned to be the standard finale/credit sequence we've seen in dozens of other big animated releases. Third, the story is a bit wild, being all about a race of creatures that believe eating the trolls is the secret to happiness.

You find that out at the very start of the movie. The Bergens are about to have their annual feast of trolls, served up by the Chef (Christine Baranski), but they find that the trolls have escaped. Some years pass by, trolls live in a new area, they sing and dance (which is what they do), and have hug time every half an hour. Poppy (Anna Kendrick) is a most vocal fan of all of this stuff. Branch (Justin Timberlake) is not. He's too busy worrying about when the Bergen will find them and whisk them all away to be eaten. And so, when a load of the trolls are found by the Bergen and whisked away to be eaten, Poppy and Branch head off to rescue their troll buddies.

It's bright, it's full of excerpts from popular songs (with the main theme being that they're all upbeat singalong favourites, from what I can recall), and it has enough to keep younger viewers entertained. But that doesn't make it actually any good. It makes it passable, average, it's the bare minimum to be expected from a mainstream animated release from a major studio. Director Mike Mitchell has films on his CV that prove he can do much better than this. Co-director Walt Dohrn, on the other hand, will have to work harder on future projects to make me forget his name is attached to this.

Writers Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger have been involved with some treats (the Kung Fu Panda movies stand out from their filmography). This seems like a thankless task for them. The characters aren't too bad, although often defined by one main trait, but the script is simply required to hop from one peppy song moment to the next.

The voice cast almost make up for the rest of the negatives. Kendrick is always someone I enjoy onscreen, and her personality is perfectly suited to her character here. Timberlake is very good, and Baranski is superb as the mean Chef. Chriostopher Mintz-Plasse is a grumpy young King, Zooey Deschanel is a staff member who is smitten with the King, Russell Brand is a guru type of troll, Kunal Nayyar voices someone very glittery, and there's a turn from James Corden that is small enough to have him be almost tolerable.

Trolls is average, at best. It's easy to see why kids will enjoy it. The tunes, the bright colours, the cute characters. It's also easy to see that it was put together without any of the care or detail that goes into so many other movies looking to capture the attention of the same demographic.

5/10

Here's a shiny set available.
Americans can buy this disc.

Ani-MAY-tion Month: Despicable Me 2 (2013)

Supervillain Gru (Steve Carell) returns in this animated sequel that stays very much within the parameters of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". Oh, things are a bit different, but they're also just the same. And those little minions, so popular with the younger viewers, get plenty of fun moments en route to their own spin-off movie (due in 2015).

Gru has left his evil life behind, and is now a lot happier. He is a father to three adopted girls, and uses the lab and his staff to create a range of flavoured jellies (jams to us folk in the UK). His idyllic life is interrupted, however, when the Anti-Villain League ask him to help as they try to find a dangerous stolen substance. They have tracked its signal to a shopping mall, but need Gru to go in and find out just which one of their main suspects is the thief. Lucy (Kristen Wiig) is an agent able to offer assistance, and also quite an admirer of Gru.

With everyone returning to the main roles behind the scenes, this is clearly a project in capable hands. Directors Pierre Coffin and Chris Renaud, as well as writers Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio, all know the characters well, and all know what worked from the first outing. Of course, for anyone who isn't as easily amused by those minions, that approach isn't without its shortcomings. But giving the little guys more screentime is clearly something that pleases the target demographic, and you can't blame the film-makers for wanting to keep that section of the audience happy.

Carell and Wiig are a lot of fun in the two main roles, Miranda Cosgrove provides amusement as Margo, the eldest of the girls who causes Gru some angst when she starts to take an interest in boys, and Steve Coogan and Ken Jeong also do well. But it's Benjamin Bratt who deserves a special mention. Taking over so late in the game, after original star Al Pacino had already spent so much time on the project that the animation was created to his dialogue, Bratt had to both create a fun character, Eduardo, and also match the speech movements already animated. That couldn't have been the easiest task, but you'd never guess from the final product. Bratt never seems like a replacement. He's fantastic in the role, and viewers should be glad that he was able to step in and "save the day", as it were.

If you liked Despicable Me then you'll like this sequel. Children will love it, and there's plenty for adults to enjoy. Be warned, however, that if you never warmed to those minions then you may want to give this a wide berth.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Despicable-Me-Blu-ray-UV-Copy/dp/B00E9SUTHI/ref=sr_1_5?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1398221084&sr=1-5&keywords=despicable+me

Shiny discs, cinema tickets, laptops and the other resources I use all cost money. So does my book, but it's really not that much money. And you might even enjoy it.

The UK version can be bought here - http://www.amazon.co.uk/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1395945647&sr=1-3&keywords=movie+guide

And American folks can buy it here - http://www.amazon.com/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395945752&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=TJs+ramshackle+mov

As much as I love the rest of the world, I can't keep up with all of the different links in different territories, but trust me when I say that it should be there on your local Amazon.

Ani-MAY-tion Month: Despicable Me (2010)

Steve Carell is the voice of Gru in this slick, enjoyable animated feature. Gru is a criminal mastermind. In fact, he likes to think of himself as the number one criminal mastermind in the whole world, despite the constant put-downs from his mother (Julie Andrews), but his status is threatened when he finds himself being overshadowed by young Vector (Jason Segel). Gru may have his minions, and a great scientist named Dr. Nefario (Russell Brand), but he needs something more to get one over on his new nemesis. He needs . . . . . . . . . . children.

Directed by Pierre Coffin and Chris Renaud, there's a lot to enjoy in Despicable Me, thanks to the fun premise. Featuring two main villains who revel in their villainy, and a whole host of minions to win over younger viewers (if you don't know what a minion looks by now then you haven't been near any kids in the past couple of years), this is something that will easily entertain most family members. The voice cast is good, with Kristen Wiig and Will Arnett joining in with the fun, and the animation is smooth and full of interesting design choices.

Having said that, the film falls into many of the same traps that almost every other animated movie falls into nowadays. There are one or two obligatory moments just to placate anyone who paid more to see it in 3D, there's a bit of music and dancing at the very end (did Shrek start that trend, or does it just feel like it?), and there is an extra sweetness to the second half that was refreshingly minimal in the first half. Okay, okay, the last part isn't that bad, especially as viewers root for the three little orphan girls that Gru takes into his home to help him with his latest nefarious scheme.

It's not the most sophisticated movie, with many of the characters (okay, mainly the minions) acting just like naughty children, but that's not the worst crime ever. The script by Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio never quite hits its stride, but it gets some bonus points for the following reasons. One, the minions ARE funny, with their constant strange babblings and seeming inability to take anything seriously. Two, the scenes showing Gru adjusting to life as a parent are also very entertaining. Three, for anything that the movie lacks, it at least includes a Piranha Gun. YES!!! Sophistication be damned.

It's not the best from the many animated movies released in the last few years, but I think it's still a lot of fun. And it should certainly keep the kids happy, which is kinda the whole point.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Despicable-Me-Blu-ray-UV-Copy/dp/B00E9SUTHI/ref=sr_1_2?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1397284641&sr=1-2&keywords=despicable+me+box+set

Arthur (2011)

A remake of the much-loved 1981 movie, this time around drunken, childish Arthur is played by Russell Brand, Hobson is played by Helen Mirren and the love interest has become Naomi (played by Greta Gerwig). Luis Guzman is the chauffeur, Jennifer Garner is Susan Johnson and Nick Nolte is her scary father.

A quick reminder of the plot. Arthur is a drunk but a very, VERY rich drunk so that’s fine. The fact that he’s always in the news isn’t so fine and so his mother (played by Geraldine James) tells him that he must marry Susan Johnson or be cut off from the money. This happens, annoyingly enough, just as he meets and falls for the lovely Naomi.

Written by Peter Baynham (with plenty of lines and spirit, pun intended, lifted from the original) and directed by Jason Winer, Arthur could have been something really enjoyable. Russell Brand can do an eccentric drunk in his sleep so everything else should have fallen into place, right? Wrong. For some reason it was decided to make Arthur less of a staggering drunkard (though he’s drunk a lot of the time) and more of an outright man-child in this version, meaning that we have to suffer through an appalling performance from Brand that has him putting on a very childish voice and acting just like someone who’s been doped up with drugs. I’m sure this choice was made so that the film wouldn’t be seen to be deriving fun from alcoholism in these PC-infested times but it’s a bad choice and throws off the whole film. 

Everyone else is good and that’s a great shame because it simply highlights the poor performance from Brand, someone who I have so far always enjoyed in movie roles. Mirren makes a more than adequate replacement for John Gielgud and the bond between Arthur and Hobson is more obvious and easier to understand this time around. Gerwig does just fine as Naomi and Garner certainly does well as Susan Johnson, who is a colder and more calculating character in the remake than she was in either of the 80s movies. Guzman is very funny and Nolte is believably fear-inducing.

There are individual moments of fun, and a nice selection of movie cars, and the main character eventually gains your sympathy as the movie winds towards a predictable finale but this is inferior to the original and inferior to many other comedies released this year. 

5/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Arthur-Triple-Blu-ray-Digital-Region/dp/B004Q9SYYA/ref=sr_1_8?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1371664113&sr=1-8&keywords=arthur

Katy Perry: Part Of Me (2012)

Oh dear.

If anyone actually believed for a moment that I was a huge film fan who sometimes knew what he was talking about then that's all about to disappear right now. Why? Because I really enjoyed Katy Perry: Part Of Me.

Mixing some concert footage with a lot of behind the scenes moments, this charts the hard work and many setbacks that Perry endured on the road to becoming "an overnight success". Set during her massive 2011 world tour, it shows her phenomenal success in the music world while also capturing the end of her marriage to Russell Brand - a situation that obviously causes her a lot of pain and tears, but is put aside when she lines herself up to get on stage. Ever the professional, Perry goes from being wracked with tears backstage to gripping the mike and making sure she has a big smile on as she prepares to entertain her latest crowd of fans.

If you don't like Katy Perry then you're unlikely to enjoy this, but I wouldn't rule it out completely. She may be a pop star who appeals to the teen demographic and she may have a cutesy, quirky style that some find offputting, but this movie shows that she also has a level head on her shoulders and a determination to succeed and give 150% in everything she does.

You might have already gathered that I'm already a big fan of the woman and you may be wondering why. I am, after all, not in her main demographic. First, she's very attractive, in my opinion, and I'll continue to hold that opinion, despite some other people who argue against it, despite the fact that she never returns my calls and despite the fact that I have to abide by that restraining order, dammit. Moving swiftly on, I actually like most of her songs. She's not the greatest songstress of her, or any other, generation, but she writes some good stuff and she writes some damn catchy stuff. She also seems to have a good sense of humour, which is another major plus point, and is always full of positive energy. Then there's the fact that she remains impressively individual in an industry known for homogenising and compartmentalising everyone and she makes it seem so effortless.

There are a million Lady Gaga fans who would read this and throw a hissy fit, wondering why I am praising Perry with comments usually attributed to their idol. I hate Lady Gaga, really can't stand her. I have a running joke with my young daughter where I pretend to be an out of touch old fart and ask her questions like "well, are you still listening to that Lady Goo Goo?" It's just a silly thing that makes me sound as old as I am, but it also allows me to not give her any recognition whatsoever. I'm not completely unaware of the positive influence that Lady Gaga has on her fans, but she makes it all seem like a daily battle against everyone else in the world whereas Katy Perry promotes the same message of individuality and positivity while also managing to smile and not just run through the bag of tricks that Madonna already used up over a decade ago.

Anyway, all of this has been a pathetic attempt to defend my enjoyment of this film. I'll watch some stuff like this with a smile and the knowledge that I'm enjoying it even while it could never be classed as something good (yep, Spiceworld: The Movie comes into that category), but watching Katy Perry move from her childhood under the parentage of two Christian pastors to her globe-spanning position as one of the queens of pop is genuinely inspiring stuff, whether what you see on-screen is 100% open and honest or just carefully managed and manipulated excerpts from one hectic year.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Katy-Perry-Triple-Blu-ray-Digital/dp/B008D24HYM/ref=sr_1_2?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1361350308&sr=1-2