Netflix And Chill: Fear Street: Prom Queen (2025)

Time is a flat circle. I know that could be applied to many concepts that we face as we journey through life, but I am using it here to explain the fun of enjoying the cyclical nature of horror movie sub-genres, particularly the slasher movie. Everyone knows how things have gone in the slasher movie landscape. They were, at one point, THE main horror staple for a good few years. Then they faded out. They were uncool. Then a healthy dose of self-awareness and loving cannibalism helped them to become popular again, as well as sometimes being cool. And now? Well . . . now we have a mix of slasher movies that try to keep things fresh alongside slasher movies, like this one, that are happy to unironically present fans with something that wouldn't have seemed out of place back in the early 1980s (aka the boom period for slasher movies).

India Fowler plays Lori Granger, a young woman who has spent her school years having a pretty hard time of things. She's a target for the likes of Tiffany Falconer (Fina Strazza) and her crew of acolytes, often bullied because of the fact that everyone suspects her mother murdered her father. Thankfully, she has a very good friend in Megan Rogers (Suzanna Son). And she has the courage to nominate herself as a prom queen candidate, although there's a masked killer who decides to seriously affect the outcome by killing off a number of the candidates.

Another film making use of source material by R. L. Stine, this is co-written by Donald McLeary and director Matt Palmer, who made his feature debut with the superbly tense Calibre. I have known of Palmer for many years, and always had confident in his ability to deliver great moments for horror fans, but it's good to see him able to step from his more complex and nuanced debut work to this bright, nostalgia-infused, outrageous slice of gory fun.

The cast all do well in their main roles, with Fowler and Rogers particularly easy to root for as the kills start occurring, Strazza an entertainingly loathsome "mean girl", and Ella Rubin, Rebecca Ablack, Ilan O'Driscoll, David Iacono, and Ariana Greenblatt all doing enough to make their characters identifiable enough, yet also just as prone to be killed off as anyone else unwittingly dancing their way to a Prom Night massacre. The older cast members also have some fun, and you get good turns from Lili Taylor, Chris Klein, Katherine Waterston, and Darrin Baker, who are all given enough time and space to mark themselves out as suspects while the bodycount grows.

The main star here is the production design though. This film isn't just set in Shadyside High in the 1980s. It's set in the school that you picture when you think of every classic school-set moment from the decade, whether that's due to other films being set firmly in that time and place (The Breakfast Club, A Nightmare On Elm Street) or allowing viewers to put on nostalgia-goggles to see something akin to that time and place as other characters seem to literally or mentally move back into the past (e.g. Grosse Point Blank, Hot Tub Time Machine, The Guest, etc). The soundtrack also helps, tickling your ears with hits from Billy Idol, Rick Astley, Roxette, Bananarama, Tiffany, Laura Branigan, Duran Duran, and many more, as well as a couple of superb tunes from Power Glove, and the whole package feels as if it could have been made and released forty years ago. That will be a major plus point for many, but some will view it as a reason to avoid the film forever. As I'm sure you can tell, I am firmly in the former camp.

I don't think there's anything more I can say to those who are still on the fence. Things may feel a bit tame in the first act, but you can rest assured that things get bloodier and nastier on the way to the fun-filled, if slightly predictable, conclusion. Palmer and co. really know what they're doing, and slasher fans should trust them to take them on a fun ride back into 1980s glitter and gore.

7/10

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Netflix And Chill: The Haunting (1999)

If there's one film that epitomised all of the worst decisions made by people remaking horror movies in the '90s and start of the 21st century, it's The Haunting. This is a film that I remember being bad, but revisiting it showed me just how much I had managed to block out of my memory in the two decades since I last gave it a watch.

Liam Neeson plays Dr. David Marrow, a man wanting to conduct an experiment in the effects of fear. But he doesn't want any of his subjects to know that, which is why he advertises for people to take part in an experiment on sleeping problems. He gains access to a large house, and a trio of characters played by Catherine Zeta-Jones (Theo), Owen Wilson (Luke), and Lili Taylor (Nell). Nell is the most timid of the three, but she also seems to be the one that the house takes the most interest in. Because the house definitely has a heartbeat within it, a spirit, and an agenda. Or is that just how Nell is viewing things?

The first screenplay written by David Self, working from the source material by Shirley Jackson, it's obvious from very early on that this is a film intending to be very different from the original. The focus is on the CGI used here, and the movie plays out as if nobody involved is even aware of the original (with its superb way of creating atmosphere and tension without showing too much, and sometimes not showing anything at all).

Despite Self's wobbly script, however, the blame seems to lie more squarely on the shoulders of director Jan de Bont (a man who went into a serious downward slide after such a great directorial debut, Speed). The Haunting has some nice camerawork, and the production design looks gorgeous when it's not being marred by the CGI, but nothing else to recommend it. Even the central performances are disappointing.

Neeson is at his blandest, Zeta-Jones is almost comically "in heat", or so it seems in some scenes, and Owen Wilson is someone I enjoy seeing onscreen, but fits a couple of other genres much more comfortably than he fits horror. Then we have Taylor, who is often good, yet she also struggles with the fact that her character is tense and hyper-neurotic from almost her very first scene. It's a performance without any real nuance, and again seems to come from the direction of the film.

You should never automatically dismiss a remake. We've had some interesting films over the past few decades that have shown how remakes don't have to be a complete failure, and nor do they have to be slavishly copying the original film. You should dismiss The Haunting though. It's not one of those films that is underserving of its reputation. If anything, it's worse than some people remember. The Jerry Goldsmith score is quite nice, as is a lot of the production design. The rest can be consigned to the wastebin of history.

3/10

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Netflix And Chill: Eli (2019)

The more I think about his filmography, the more surprised I am by the fact that director Ciarán Foy keeps getting opportunities to helm potentially decent horror movies. His debut feature, Citadel, was solid, but nothing since then has shown him to be an assured hand. Eli is a prime example, although he's hindered by a laughably weak script.

Eli (Charlie Shotwell) is a very sick young boy, with an auto-immune disorder that makes him unable to live a normal life. His parents, Rose (Kelly Reilly) and Paul (Max Martini), pin all of their hope on one last treatment, headed up by Dr. Horn (Lili Taylor). But all is not well in the facility that they end up in, as Eli sees spirits around him, and starts to wonder if those treating him really have his best interests at heart. Perhaps he'll just end up being the latest victim of their experimental approach.

Eli just isn't all that interesting, I'm afraid to say. The way in which the main character is shown to be affected by the world around him isn't set up well enough, doesn't feel consistent, and will simply remind many viewers of one or two much better movies (such as The Others, for example). It doesn't help that you feel no sympathy, or care, for the other characters, a mix of the writing and poor casting.

Reilly can be good in the right role, and I have enjoyed her work in a number of movies, but this isn't the right role for her, especially when she's required to both turn some things around and provide some exposition in the final reel. I'm not too familiar with Max Martini, and his turn here doesn't make me want to rush to refresh my memory with his roles in other movies I have seen. Taylor is a highlight, doing her best with weak material, and almost managing to overcome it by simply being Lili Taylor. Shotwell actually does a good job, and his relationship with a young girl, Haley (Sadie Sink), who visits to talk to him from the other side of his window is another highlight, thanks to the performances of both young actors.

The cast might have fared better with a better script though. We'll never know. David Chirchirillo, Ian Goldberg, and Richard Naing have worked together to craft something absolutely risible. Not only is it a silly premise, once all becomes clear, it makes no sense and treats viewers like idiots by assuming they will just accept everything without questioning the logic of the film (important reminder, questioning the logic of a movie on the terms it is delivering material is not the same as expecting real-world logic from every movie you watch). Eli makes no sense throughout, and everything falls apart during a time when the writers obviously think they are being clever and creative.

Foy is no help. He admittedly does okay with individual scare moments, but fails to do enough to distract viewers from the failings of the script. If you're going to utilise cliches then you need to try to make other elements feel fresh. If you're going to journey into silliness then you need to either lay the groundwork from the earliest scenes or do a better job with the tone. Foy just goes along with a script that he really should have been aiming to constantly improve.

I am sure that some people will enjoy Eli. I have no idea who those people are, and I don't think many of the horror fans I know will think this one worth their time.

3/10

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Leatherface (2017)

There are some people that like Leatherface, the . . . . eighth instalment in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise (unless I have miscounted). Some people liked Texas Chainsaw. Some people like iced coffees. And pineapple on pizza. And these are the people that I will sit and silently glare at. Yes, ALL of them.

Once again attempting to show audiences the "birth" of Leatherface, this is arguably the tamest film yet for the franchise. There are a few good gore moments, I won't deny it, but it all lacks a certain edge, instead opting to give us a plot that's typical "criminals on the loose" fare, with the addition of an attempted rug pull so entirely predictable that it wouldn't even fool either of my two cats, even if they were watching the film while catnipped out of their tiny cat minds.

Most of the cast do a decent job, despite having such weak material to work with. The youngsters include Sam Strike, Vanessa Grasse, Sam Coleman, James Bloor, and Jessica Madsen. None of them make a very strong impression, but they're only really there so we can find out when the chainsaw was first put to good use. As for the adults, Lili Taylor does the coddling mama act just fine, Stephen Dorff is excellent as an angry lawman who might be confusing revenge with justice, and Finn Jones is present in some scenes.

Written by Seth M. Sherwood, the script is even more forgettable than so many other insipid horror vehicles from recent years. Some very minute characterisations help, and the opening and closing sequences are better than anything we have to muddle through in the middle, but it's certainly not enough to keep you caring, even for what should be quite a perfect runtime.

Sherwood at least has the excuse of inexperience, which cannot be said for the talented co-directors, Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury. Inside and Livid are two of the finest French horror movies from this first part of the 21st century. How the two decided that this project would be a good use of their time and energy is beyond me. It isn't, and their considerable talents are hidden so deep here as to be practically invisible.

Completists will watch this film. Fans who believe that "the saw is family" will watch this film. Undemanding horror fans will watch this film. But I suspect it is only the last group that will end up enjoying it. It's a below average film, hence my rating (as generous as it is), but it's a TERRIBLE Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie.

4/10

Buy Leatherface here, if you must.
Buy it here if you're in America.