Showing posts with label marta gastini. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marta gastini. Show all posts

Sunday, 3 July 2022

Netflix And Chill: The Rite (2011)

You would think that Anthony Hopkins would be well-suited to the role of a priest who can conduct exorcisms in a firm, and seemingly non-traditional, manner. In a way, didn't he already play just that kind of role, and superbly, when he took on the famous character of Van Helsing? So The Rite, a handsomely-mounted horror/drama about a younger priest full of doubt (Michael Kovak, played by Colin O'Donoghue) learning much from a stoic elder (Father Lucas Trevant, played by Hopkins), would seem to be an easy winner. Sadly, that is not the case.

Based on, possibly very loosely, on a book of the same name by Matt Biaglo, this is a "true story" that ticks almost every exorcism movie cliché off the list, and that's always a tricky proposition. Because if you're going to do that, especially if you're pairing up an older priest with a younger priest who is starting to doubt his faith, then you need to be pretty bloody special. Because there's one movie that casts a hell of a long shadow over all of these movies.

All of the characters are sketched out and put in place quickly enough. Michael feels like someone it is easy to root for, and we see plenty of backstory involving his relationship with his father (Rutger Hauer). He is asked to go to Rome to attend a course in exorcism, which will either help him to find his faith once more or convince him that his journey on this particular path is at an end. Father Trevant is a force of nature, and a bit of an expert in exorcisms (of course), and remains convinced that he always does whatever is necessary to save any tortured souls. And Angeline (Alice Braga) is someone else attending the course, which means she can have conversations with Michael as he continues to feel doubt over any other sensation.

It's no surprise to look through the filmography of screenwriter Michael Petroni and see that nothing stands out, with the exception of the wonderful, and disappointingly underseen, The Dangerous Lives Of Altar Boys. Petroni has, for most of the past two decades, been specialising in writing films seemingly destined to be forgotten. And this is coming from someone who quite liked The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader.

Director Mikael Håfström has a slightly better success rate, especially around this time (1408 was a few years before this and Escape Plan was just after), but this feels like a movie where his hands were tied. It is an exorcism movie for a mainstream audience, meaning the horror element is never really satisfying and it is all far too safe and predictable.

Hopkins is the highlight, and selling the movie on his presence alone is no bad thing. Hauer is also very good in his much smaller role, and it's a shame that he isn't used to much greater effect. Braga, through no fault of her own, feels completely superfluous, an addition for the sake of having a female character who isn't just a possible victim of possession. The weakest cast member is O'Donoghue though, who just doesn't feel very convincing at any point. I wouldn't say he was actually bad, but he certainly feels as if he's been miscast, unable to sell viewers on him being a doubtful priest OR a worthwhile leading man. Ciarán Hinds and Toby Jones have very small roles, but I will mention them as the other main positives in a film in need of all the help it can get.

Easily the worst of the mainstream exorcism/possession movies from the last few decades, this is eminently forgettable and unworthy of your time. In the same way that multiplying two negatives leads to a positive, it turns out that numerous wrongs can add up to a rite. 

3/10

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Monday, 18 August 2014

Dario Argento's Dracula AKA Dracula 3D (2012)

It's almost becoming too easy nowadays to criticise the recent movies directed by Dario Argento, but when the man who was such a master of his craft starts to churn out rubbish as bad as this . . . . . . . . well, I think all of that criticism is well and truly justified.

Because, make no mistake about it, Dario Argento's Dracula (AKA Dracula 3D) is a terrible movie in almost every department. It's so inept at times that you start to wonder whether or not Mr. Argento is having a laugh at our expense.

Everyone knows the story by now, and if you don't then it's up to you to quickly get up to speed, so I won't include too many details here. There are differences, such as the film taking place almost exclusively in Transylvania, but the main characters remain the same. Thomas Kretschmann plays the big man, Rutger Hauer comes along as Van Helsing just in time for the finale, Marta Gastini is a pleasant enough Mina Harker, Asia Argento is Lucy, and Maria Cristina Heller is a sexy vamp for most of the runtime. Let's not mention Unax Ugalde as Jonathan Harker because, well, it's just too painful for me to remember his performance.

The script, written by four people including Argento himself, is a muddled mess, with the recognisable central story strand, and one or two famous moments, surrounded by scenes that range from the ridiculous to the gratuitous, with the latter at least providing SOME entertainment value.

The direction makes it seem as if Argento considered not having his name in the credits at one point. There are a few nice flourishes here and there, admittedly, but from the opening sequence - in which the camera flies through a poorly rendered CGI village - to the anticlimactic finale, this is clumsy stuff, not helped in the slightest by some of the shoddiest editing I've seen in a long, long time.

I've already mentioned some of the performances, but let me just say that Hauer is great and Kretschmann looks like he could have done better with the role if it had been better written and placed in a competent movie. Asia Argento is, as usual, godawful, Gastini is okay, and Heller shows that she's very proud of her breasts. And good for her. And did I mention that I don't want to mention Unax Ugalde as Jonathan Harker?

If you want to be cruel to yourself then watch this immediately. The special effects alone will have you reaching for the nearest spoon with which to scoop out your eyeballs. A few moments featuring different insects made me think, once more, that this whole thing might just be Argento playing a joke on us. Viewed in the right frame of mind, some people may find this funnier than Dracula: Dead And Loving It.

It's not as if the source material doesn't provide some great stuff to develop, for goodness sake. In fact, the strength of that source material is the reason that the film isn't quite a COMPLETE disaster. One or two moments still manage to remain effective, despite the best efforts of Argento and co. to totally screw up everything.

3/10

http://www.amazon.com/Argentos-Dracula-Blu-ray-Hutger-Hauer/dp/B00FUABHVQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391035115&sr=8-1&keywords=dario+argento%27s+dracula




See what I endure? Which is why I also pimp out my book, because every copy of my book sold gets a few pounds in my pocket, and gets you a good read (if I say so myself).

The UK version can be bought here - http://www.amazon.co.uk/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1395945647&sr=1-3&keywords=movie+guide

And American folks can buy it here - http://www.amazon.com/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395945752&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=TJs+ramshackle+mov

As much as I love the rest of the world, I can't keep up with all of the different links in different territories, but trust me when I say that it should be there on your local Amazon.