Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves (2023)

While I never exactly got into Dungeons & Dragons when I was younger, I did explore some of the lore and the scenarios created for it. I enjoyed a number of RPGs, but would often spend more time reading the rule books (for stuff like Star Wars and the brilliant Paranoia) and settling back into the single-player fun of the Fighting Fantasy books. But there was a time when I certainly knew a gelatinous cube from a less harmful creation, and I had a selection of impressively unusual dice.

I had heard good things about Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves since it first hit cinema screens a little while ago, and many people complimented it by saying that it somehow managed to evoke the atmosphere of a gaming session with friends. Many people were correct.

The plot is quite simple. Chris Pine and Michelle Rodriguez play bard Edgin and barbarian Holga, two people working together to escape their prison, assemble a group of people with various skillsets to help them, and defeat a villain who has been taking care of Edgin’s daughter for some time. The list of potential helpers includes Simon (Justice Smith), a sorcerer trying to get better with his powers, Doric (Sophia Lillis), a shape-shifting Druid, and Xenk Yendar (Regé-Jean Page), a Paladin who is mistrusted by Edgin. 

Co-directed by John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Michael Gilio, this is a snappy and confident slice of genre work that may have benefited from those involved not having already worked with fantasy adventure material. The script balances everything well between the witty dialogue, the serious approach to the lore and world-building, and a number of brilliant little extra gags and references that those familiar to the game will catch, and the direction is polished and inventive enough to help make the 130-minute-plus runtime fairly fly by.

It also helps that the casting is actually about as perfect as can be. Pine turns his charm all the way up to full power, and that’s something almost impossible to resist, Rodriguez is as believably tough as ever, but with a good and loyal core making her easy to warm to, even as she is scowling at most of the people around her, and  there’s yet another wonderfully roguish turn from Hugh Grant, who is seeming to have more fun at this time in his career than he has at any other time. Smith gives us a character with an endearing lack of confidence, Page is at the other end of the spectrum, and Lillis is often the coolest member of the group until she transforms into whatever shape is required to cause maximum havoc. Chloe Coleman is fine in the role of Kira, Edgin’s daughter, and Daisy Head is enjoyably sombre as a powerful wizard with a plan to plunge the world into a new age of darkness and misery.

There are a couple of great set-pieces, including a hilarious sequence involving some magic used to enable Edgin to question some corpses (trust me, it’s much funnier than it sounds), the score/soundtrack is a delight, every element of the production design, wardrobe, and FX work looks as if it has been worked on with genuine care and attention to detail, and there’s a strong chance that this contains at least one of my favourite cameos in recent years (not to mention the other main cameo, a star name placed in a delightfully amusing scene that provides a little insight into what Holga looks for in a partner).

I am already keen to rewatch this, and I hope others feel the same way. It may have underperformed slightly at the box office, but, trust me, it’s a critical hit.

8/10

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Fast X (2023)

I have mentioned it many times before, but I have a strange relationship with the Fast & Furious franchise. I was never a fan, but they became so ubiquitous that I eventually gave in and started to enjoy them. When things for more preposterous, I became less impressed. Then things got even MORE preposterous and I was won around again. I didn’t love the eighth instalment in the main series, but I really liked the ninth, so I wasn’t sure where I would land on this outing.

I hated it.

Linking back to the end of the fifth film, the plot concerns a villain named Dante (Jason Momoa). Dante is out to avenge the death of his father, and he aims to do that by hurting Dom (Vin Diesel) where he will feel it most. His FAMBLY. Of course, he hasn’t counted on Dom being the best at doing everything ever. Urgh.

Written by Justin Lin and Dan Mazeau, and directed by Louis Leterrier, this is a rambling and laughable mess for most of the runtime. The editing is horrible, genuinely feeling at times as if scenes have been randomly chopped up in the wrong places to intersperse with other scenes, ensuring no real flow or building of tension. Even the ridiculous stunts fail to impress, weighed down by CGI that somehow feels worse than what we were given in the first few movies in the series. There’s one fun sequence set in Rome, thanks to some impressive motorbike work, but the rest will have you feeling more exasperated than excited.

Diesel is the least interesting member of the main group, and when he is asked to show emotion on his face it just looks like he’s been filmed trying to empty his bowels, but the rest of the gang are unable to do much better in a number of scenes that feel like nothing but filler. Okay, John Cena is good fun in the scenes he shares with the youngest main cast member (the kid who plays “little Brian”, but watch this and tell me that we couldn’t have done without the sequence featuring a star cameo when Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Nathalie Emmanuel, and Sung Kang are all in London. You would be lying. The women generally fare a bit better, with Michelle Rodriguez, Charlize Theron, and Brie Larson all having some decent moments, but Jordan’s Brewster suffers from the fact that she doesn’t feel as capable as the rest of the gang, and her involvement just serves as a reminder that Paul Walker’s character is notable by his absence. Scott Eastwood returns as an agent, and an ally, Alan Ritchson is the other agent in pursuit of our heroes, and last, but not least, is Momoa. I can see some people disliking Momoa in this, he is all kinds of anarchic energy wrapped up in some damn fine threads whenever he’s onscreen, but he is the highlight of the film. His energy, his madness (a scene with him conversing with others while applying some nail varnish is THE best moment of the entire movie), his sheer glee as he watched his plan come together, it’s all a welcome change from the moody and stoic attitude of almost everyone else in the cast (hell, even the banter between Gibson and Ludacris is made more sour in this outing). It’s overdone though, and sometimes feels too much like the film-makers relied on Momoa to be a jacked-up Joker in order to make up for all of the weaknesses elsewhere in the film.

The biggest weakness, aside from the technical end result of the film-making seeming hastily put together and shoddy, is a complete lack of consequence. This feels pointless. Main characters seem to be dead, but we have seen main characters “die” before. Diesel won’t let his hero lose, his ego won’t allow it (unless things lead to a finale that can allow him to become a modern Christ figure), and the abrupt ending here, because this is only the first part of the story, feels like a bit of a slap in the face. Calling it an ending is a stretch, considering how the film really just cuts off with no defining moment for either the heroes or the villains.

Of course I will watch the next (final?) instalment in this series. I came this far with it. I won’t be looking forward to it though. Everyone involved needs to do some major repair work to get this tired and broken engine back in order if they want to cross the finish line in first place. A large fanbase will be cheering them on, but it’s all on those behind the wheel (metaphorically speaking . . . but also literally, in this instance).

4/10

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Fast & Furious 9 (2021)

Although it may seem redundant to review any Fast & Furious movie at this point, that hasn't stopped me before. I have watched this series develop over the years, I have fallen out of love with it, I have revisited most of the entries and ended up enjoying them more on repeat viewings, and I have accepted that every instalment will have some car action punctuated by Vin Diesel looking moodily at people while he growls "FAMILY". I wasn't really looking forward to this instalment though. The main character being given a hitherto-unmentioned brother, the return of yet another character we thought was long dead, and some people being launched into space all seemed to point towards a blockbuster with the wrong ratio of dumb to fun, and the previous film had already given me my fill of that.

Surprisingly, I ended up thinking this was a blast. And I don't see why fans of the series would be disappointed by it.

The plot is, in a way, a bit simpler than some of the previous instalments. A group of baddies, led by Jakob Toretto (John Cena) are trying to get all of the components to something that can be assembled into an extremely powerful device. Once the data is uploaded to a satellite, the device could basically be used to hold the world hostage. Or simply give absolute power to the right bidder. Dom and co. set out to do what they do best, with the added complication of Jakob being Dom's brother, estranged due to events that are shown in various flashbacks throughout the movie (with Dom and Jakob played, respectively, by Vinnie Bennett and Finn Cole).

Is this absolutely ridiculous? Yes, but these films have been that way from the start. At their best, they are ridiculous in a way that is self-aware and laced with good humour. At their worst, they are ridiculous in between moments that we're supposed to view as completely grounded and earnest. Fast & Furious 9 leans towards the best of the series, and even has a theory being posited by one character that they may be supernaturally invincible, considering all of the mad missions that they've been on over the years. You could argue that the backstory between the Toretto brothers drags everything down, but it somehow works well, thanks to the younger actors and the way it is interwoven throughout the main narrative.

Director Justin Lin returns to the series, making this his fourth entry, and he also helps to write the script with Daniel Casey. It doesn't seem like too difficult a task. Get everyone together. Have some whacky driving antics. Be sure to visit some different locations (as biased as I am, I was able to overlook the strangely twisted geography of Edinburgh during an extended action sequence set there). Ensure that Vin Diesel is always the best at everything that needs doing well, be it fighting, driving, or impressing women. Job done. Having said that, as already mentioned above, some entries in this series even manage to falter while following such an easy formula. As small a detail as it may seem, Fast & Furious 9 actually starts with a car race sequence, and punctuates the action throughout with enough vehicular mayhem to keep petrolheads satisfied. That includes a conversation between Diesel and Helen Mirren that could easily have taken place in any environment, but takes place while Mirren is driving a fast car and evading police. Lin may not do as well with shooting the action, the editing has to work hard in some places, and it's all too, well, fast and furious to keep track of everything at times, but he and Casey create a solid foundation with the writing.

Cena is a fun addition to the cast, even if he never feels like a major threat, and everyone else slips back into their characters as if they were just putting on their favourite jackets. Diesel keeps himself at the centre of most of the biggest moments, of course, but Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris get to riff off one another again, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster both feel a bit more involved with the action this time around, Nathalie Emmanuel returns as Ramsey, Charlize Theron returns as Cipher, with much less screentime, and you also get Sung Kang, Lucas Black, Mirren, Shea Wigham, and one or two others reprising their roles. Bennett and Cole are the main newcomers, and both do excellent work in the flashbacks, Anna Sawai is a formidable young woman named Elle, and Michael Rooker makes a welcome appearance.

The music from Brian Tyler may sound as if it is wanting to swell into The Avengers theme at points, but it generally works just fine in between some high-energy soundtrack choices, and it goes along with the constant momentum that the film has, moving from one over-the-top action beat to the next with just enough rest in between to allow characters to connect with one another and/or have some more exposition.

I have seen views from people who didn't like this, which leaves me bemused. You know what you're getting into with these movies. And if you know what you're getting into then I'd say that this absolutely delivers what fans want. The vehicles are cool, the fights are creatively staged, and there is so much fun involving large magnets that I expected Jesse Pinkman to join the crew for the third act. I'm already tentatively looking forward to the next instalment, thanks partly to a small mid-credits scene that you shouldn't miss, and I hope more people enjoy this one as much as I did.

8/10

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Fast & Furious (2009)

New Model. Original Parts. That was the way Fast & Furious was advertised, heavily pushing the fact that Vin Diesel was back, as were Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, and Jordana Brewster. It's apparently what fans of the series wanted. And it's hard to argue with the decision, considering the enduring success of the series across two decades.

Let me try to keep things very simple. After an intro that shows Dominic Toretto (Diesel) and co. pulling off a dangerous heist, Dom knows that he's bringing down too much heat on those close to him. So he decides that it's time to leave. Then Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) is killed. It may have something to do with a major criminal named Campos, which leads to Dom crossing paths once again with Brian (Paul Walker), the famously criminal-friendly cop who is somehow back in the bosom of the FBI workplace. The way to get to Campos is to, obviously, show off your driving skills, and that means Dom and Brian race against one another, and others, to get closer to their target.

You know what, I liked this a little more this time around than I did when I first saw it. I think it has an enjoyable simplicity to it, even as it starts to put the pieces in place for what would define the shape of the series for the next few films. It's more overtly showing Vin Diesel as the smartest and toughest and most desirable male in any situation, which is also irritating, but even that is nowhere as bothersome as it is in other Diesel-fulled cinematic engines.

With director Justin Lin and writer Chris Morgan once again along for the ride, Fast & Furious is a film that shows everyone being very comfortable with the format, with delivering what people expect, and with the chemistry between the leads (the frisson between Dom and Brian is something we haven't experienced this strongly since Tom Hanks started side-eyeing Wilson the volleyball).

I'm not the biggest fan of either Diesel or Walker, but they're both pretty perfect in their main roles here. Diesel gets to do all of his usual stuff, but Walker has a bit more variety and fun, especially in his running "war" with one main colleague (played by the great Shea Wigham). Rodriguez gets taken offscreen very early on, but at least she doesn't have to spend the rest of the film fawning over Diesel, with those moments now taken by Gal Gadot. Brewster, on the other hand, has to split her time between looking lovingly at her brother and looking ready to forgive and fall back in love with the cop who lied to her before. John Ortiz and Laz Alonso are both good fun, playing a couple of main villains, and fans of the third film will be pleased to see a small role for Sung Kang.

It's a different level of ridiculousness than the films that would come along after it, but this is all still quite ridiculous. Fortunately, it's done with an emphasis on sheer entertainment and thrills, with a decent smattering of lively car races and some bruising fights. The more of these films I rewatch, the easier it is to see why the series has developed into the massive success it is.

7/10

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The Fast And The Furious (2001)

Point Break with flashy car races - that's all The Fast And The Furious is, but that's all it needs to be. It's a lot of brainless fun with a lot of very good looking cars on screen for most of its duration. There's also a lot of turn of the century CGI working to make the speedy sequences seem speedier and the car engine parts sometimes visible when drivers push the button for an essential NOS boost.

Paul Walker plays Brian, an undercover cop trying to get into the street racing circuit to find out just who is responsible for a number of daring heists on moving trucks (trucks that are moving, not trucks being used by removal companies). The prime suspect is Dominic Toretto, played by Vin Diesel, who is the centre of the street racing scene and the man that most of the main players look up to. But Brian gets close, too close. He likes Dom's sister, Mia (Jordana Brewster), and gets to like Dom as he gets closer to cracking the case.

Rob Cohen directs with aptitude and certainly knows that, whenever possible, the car is the star here. The script, written by Gary Scott Thompson, Erik Bergquist, and David Ayer, is full of nonsense that builds into a creed these racers live by, but it gets the plot from A to B to Z, and has occasional moments of wit in there.

The cast all do what they have to. Paul Walker is likeable enough in the main role, Vin Diesel is a big man who growls a lot, Jordana Brewster looks pretty, Michelle Rodriguez does that scowl-gurn thing as the tough woman once again. There's also Rick Yune, Chad Lindberg, the great Ted Levine, Ja Rule, Noel Gugliemi (you may not recognise the name, but you'll know his face) and Matt Schulze (playing a douchebag who also happens to be the one person that is right about the character played by Walker).

Unsurprisingly, the soundtrack features a mix of loud rock and dance/hip-hop tunes with a strong bassline. It's what you'd expect for a movie about cars with stereo systems that cost more than most people's first runaround. What is surprising is how bad some of the processed shots are with some of the driving scenes akin to something from the 1950s. But, of course, you're not supposed to be looking out of the windows, you're supposed to be looking at the attractive stars and their attractive cars.

It's good fun, there are some enjoyable race sequences and good stuntwork on display, and, as I'm not a "gearhead", I'd say you can add an extra point if you're REALLY into cars. The best is yet to come though, and this should be viewed as the starting point for a franchise that would go from strength to strength (even the weaker instalments don't stop it from easily being the best movie series built around Vin Diesel).

7/10

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Mubi Monday: Widows (2018)

Based on the TV series by Lynda La Plante, Widows has been successfully transferred to America and updated to be quite a bit more than it originally was, a group of women who took on "jobs for the boys". Not that the original was bad, and I am not going to praise this movie while criticising the TV series (which I never actually watched, I just have vague memories of it being advertised when first screened), but director Steve McQueen, who worked with Gillian Flynn to adapt the material into this screenplay, uses the premise to explore issues of race, abuse, and the way wheels turn and keep society the way that many want it kept.

Viola Davis plays Veronica, a woman left in a very sticky position after her professional thief husband (Liam Neeson) and his crew die in a botched robbery that seems very unlike his usual modus operandi. When Veronica is threatened by the man that her husband stole from (Brian Tyree Henry), she sees no way to fix the situation. Until she finds a notebook left by her husband, a book with plans and details for one last job. Enlisting the help of some of the other widows (Michelle Rodriguez and Elizabeth Debicki), and eventually a fourth woman who can help them and help herself (Cynthia Erivo), Veronica masterminds a robbery that she hopes will allow her to settle the debt, and allow the women to start new lives.

When I first saw the trailer for Widows I wondered why McQueen, best known for his serious films looking at difficult subject matters, was drawn to the material. My curiosity dissipated within the first few scenes, intimacy between Davis and Neeson that underlines a major aspect of the screenplay. Despite not being, at least on the surface, a film as worthy as some of his other movies, Widows comes close to being McQueens best movie yet, thanks to the way it marries some important themes with visceral thrills. 12 Years A Slave may remain his most important directorial work, but this has a  sugar-coating makes the bitter pill easier to swallow.

Davis is a superb lead, given great support from Rodriguez, Debicki, and Erivo. All of them are doing excellent work, and all of them grow believably into their roles within the team. There's also a small, but characteristically brilliant, turn from Jacki Weaver, as a mother who wants her daughter to have a better life, no matter what it costs her in terms of her identity and integrity. There may not be many good men onscreen (excepting one played by Garret Dillahunt) but they're also all portrayed brilliantly. Neeson casts a large shadow over the proceedings, Henry is a quiet threat, as are the father and son political figures played by Robert Duvall and Colin Farrell, and Daniel Kaluuya almost walks away with the entire film, so brilliant is he as a merciless and violent individual being barely held in check by Henry.

In a way, the heist that everything is leading up to is the least important part of the film, which may explain why McQueen isn't at his best during that sequence. It's almost as if, with the resolution so close, he loses interest, knowing that he has already covered the plot points that he was most fired up about. The third act does have a peak, and a driving sequence to equal that of the opening scenes, but it starts to go downhill fast after that, leaving the viewer with a lot of unanswered questions and a feeling that something important is missing. Some extra details, some annoying loose ends. It's not enough to spoil the film, and most of it is deliberate on the part of McQueen and Flynn, who did so well with majority of the screenplay, but it's a shame that it ends with a whimper after the bang.

Despite my problems with the ending, and a few minor issues scattered throughout the main plot, Widows holds up as a cracking action thriller that mixes intelligence, tension, and a small amount of humour to great effect. And there's also one of the cutest dogs I've seen in a movie in years.

8/10

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April Fools: InAPPropriate Comedy (2013)

Movie 43 was a bad movie, as almost everyone knows by now. Yes, some people liked it, but some people also like eating grapefruit. People are weird, but I digress. The main point I wanted to make was that Movie 43 was bad. So it's difficult to imagine a movie that would want to, seemingly, emulate Movie 43*. Unfortunately, that is the case with InAPPropriate Comedy. It doesn't have too much star power, but it does have Lindsay Lohan, Adrien Brody, Michelle Rodriguez and Rob Schneider in small roles.

The devil is playing around with his tablet and clicks on various apps. Those apps bring up a number of sketches, all with one common factor. They're painfully unfunny. There's also only about seven main apps that are used, which means that viewers get the dubious pleasure of watching for a second or third time something that they didn't find all that great the first time round. Here are the various sketch templates.
Brody is Flirty Harry, a cop who shoots criminals while uttering nothing but double entendres.
Rodriguez and Schneider are a couple of movie critics who review porno flicks.
A bunch of black men horse around and play sorta-Jackass stunts in . . . . . . Blackass.
Ari Shaffir is The Amazing Racist (and the only actual good element of the entire movie - the sequence with him insulting learner drivers is hilarious, even if it's too obviously set up with actors).
A psychiatrist (Schneider again) works with a sex-obsessed young woman (Noelle Kenney) and gets himself quite worked up, despite the young woman wanting to change her ways for the better.
And there's something you'll never see - a young, beautiful woman dating a poor, old man.
That's it, barring the framing device that has the devil waiting to see up Lindsay Lohan's skirt as she walks over an air vent a la Marilyn from The Seven Year Itch.

Just reading over what I've written makes me wonder how I ever got through to the end credits. Director Vince Offer, who co-wrote the movie with Shaffir, Ken Pringle, and input from some others, just throws things together with little thought for quality or consistency. The end result is a painful mess.

If you're VERY easily amused then you may find more chuckles here than I did. But I advise giving it a miss. Check out the many sketches involving The Amazing Racist that are readily available online instead.

*Of course, I was a bit unfair earlier when saying that this movie wanted to emulate Movie 43. There's every chance that Movie 43 was just emulating Offer's own 1999 outing, The Underground Comedy Movie. That was also a number of short sketches stitched together to make a movie. Whether or not it is any good is another matter, but, based on what I saw here, I'm certainly not going to rush to see it.

2/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Inappropriate-Comedy-DVD-Adrien-Brody/dp/B00GV7MQX0/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1396991308&sr=1-1&keywords=inappropriate+comedy

Machete (2010)

Well, ummm, I actually saw and reviewed Machete ages ago for Flickfeast.

That review is here - http://flickfeast.co.uk/reviews/film-reviews/machete-2010-2/

An easy 8/10 and great fun. But the best news, at this moment in time, is that it can now count as my weekly Seagal and saves my poor, aching eyes from any more punishment this week.

As the end of my Seagal quest approaches (and I've seen every movie that he's made so far with the exception of Clementine, a movie I couldn't get a hold of for love nor money) I have one thought looming large in my mind - the next quest subject is going to be someone or something much more enjoyable.

Does Seagal have some great movies to choose from? Yes he does. Does he have any actual star power? I'd be generous and say that there was a time when he did. Should he have made half of the movies in his filmography? Hell no!

Considering that it's supposed to be an old-school grindhouse flick, and also considering the fact that the Bluray doesn't have any extra features worth shelling out wads of cash for, I recommend picking up Machete on DVD and having a good time.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Machete-DVD-Danny-Trejo/dp/B0049EO130

Before the review, my mind does this.

Anyone keeping up with the damn story may have noticed that I haven't written a section of my "Resonance" story for a while. Well, that's because I have a) lost my few notes that I had on the thing and b) had plenty of other stuff to fit in here.
But today was going to be a "Resonance" day . . . . until I realised that I'd lost those notes.
Instead I have to give you the ten mental notes that I will be filtering through my mind before writing out my full review on Flickfeast for Battle: Los Angeles.

1) Oh, it starts amid some action and then moves back in time to before the action started. This IS just like Skyline then.

2) Aaron Eckhart has resigned from the military and it's his last day? Oh, he's not going to be best pleased then.

3) Really? They're REALLY giving us this bunch to root for? The leader who has resigned, the guy planning his wedding, someone kissing his pregnant wife goodbye and the young 'un who was allowed in after his momma signed the permission slip. They all need the namebadge "Dead Meat".

4) Yayyyyyyyyyyy, it's the guy who plays Hoyt from True Blood.

5) Okay, this has been going on for over half an hour now and I just keep thinking that if I put on Independence Day while playing Call Of Duty I could have the exact same experience.

6) Hmmmm, nice to see Michelle Rodriguez stretching herself by playing a tough chick handy with a weapon. Oh wait, that's who she plays in EVERY FUCKING MOVIE SHE EVER DOES!!!!

7) Is that woman Ashley Judd or . . . . *checks IMDb* . . . . . . ohhhhhhhhh, it's Bridget Moynahan. Why does she look so much like Ashley Judd nowadays?

8) Shit. I was just telling my fiance all about Hoyt from True Blood being in this film but not for long and then I saw him again. This means that I have no idea who the disposable soldiers killed off earlier in the movie were. I don't even remember Hoyt's name. I'm calling him Private Hoyt.

9) I like Aaron Eckhart. Usually. I guess I can see what the intentions were with this film but to make things so full of jittery-cam and then ladle on more cheese than any gung-ho wooha America flick is unforgiveable.

10) I kinda want the aliens to win.

So, I hope to get this lot in some order before you ever see the full review but, hopefully, that can give you some idea of my thoughts on the movie just now.

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