Psycho IV: The Beginning (1990)

Although I put it off for many years, and didn’t hear anything from people who might want me to prioritise this as a viewing option, I decided to finally watch the last of the films that make up the original Psycho film series. Considering the obvious diminishing returns of each instalment, although that is not to dismiss the greatness of the second film, I hoped that this would still provide me with some fun.

Listening to a radio show, about killers who have committed matricide, hosted by Fran Ambrose (CCH Pounder), Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins once again) decides to call in and share his own informed viewpoint. He doesn’t agree with the views expressed by one of the guests (Dr. Leo Richmond, played by Warren Frost), and decides to give listeners the benefit of his life story. This allows us to then see a young Norman (Henry Thomas) living with his mother (Olivia Hussey).

Written by Joseph Stefano, this is a largely disappointing finale for a very unlikely film series. I am not sure that any of us really wanted to see Norman’s childhood (not until they found a better way to do it anyway, with the Bates Motel TV show) and the third act tries to add suspense and twists that fall completely flat. Having said that, it still partially succeeds as an ending for the character of Norman, giving him a closure that feels deserved, for both himself and fans of the series.

Director Mick Garris doesn’t do anything great, although he’s slightly hampered by a script that feels very comfortably within the TV movie parameters it was given. Things feel as if they are being marked off a checklist, from character details to shot choices, but there’s some fun to be had as viewers watch the important moments that turned Norman into what he is/was.

Perkins is very good once again in the main role, but he’s consigned to a supporting role in his own story, setting the scene for the other main players. Thomas and Hussey do well enough, although both are a bit over the top at times, and the focus is on familiar references and touch points ahead of natural and realistic characterizations. Pounder is perfectly fine as the DJ, Frost doesn’t get to do much (seemingly only there to have a character similarly named to someone else from the very first film), and Donna Mitchell plays someone pivotal to the whole plot, but also disappointingly undeveloped. Maybe giving her a bit more material instead of making time for a John Landis cameo could have helped things slightly, but what do I know?

I can’t say I hated this though. It was a bit of a chore at times, and some moments came close to being laughably bad, but I was ultimately won over by a cast all trying hard with very uneven material. I might never rush to rewatch this, but I am glad I finally got around to it. There’s an inevitable sense of satisfaction after joining Norman for the full journey.

5/10

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Critters 2 (1988)

Following on from the events of the first film, after a couple of years have passed, Critters 2 is a fun little film that does what a good sequel should, trying to recapture the entertainment factor of the original movie while making things a bit bigger. It turns out that I'm in the minority here, but I think this is a rare sequel on a par with the film that preceded it. Get yourself the Critters and Tremors movie sets and you have some of the best, and most fun, creature features from the past few decades (get yourself Grabbers as well, for extra fun)

Brad (Scott Grimes) is returning to his home town to visit his Nana (Herta Ware). His arrival sets some tongues wagging, with many people thinking of him as the boy who cried "alien porcupine" a couple of years ago. It's a good job that Brad is back though, because some eggs are about to hatch, meaning that the town is about to have quite a Krite problem once again. That means it's time for the return of Ug (Terrence Mann), Charlie (Don Opper), and Lee (taking the shape of a glamour model for a lot of the runtime, played by Roxanne Kernohan). There's a young woman named Megan (Liane Curtis) also ready to believe Brad, and help out. 

Directed by Mick Garris, who also co-wrote the screenplay with David Twohy, Critters 2 has lots to recommend it. You get the light sci-fi horror tone, you get more carnage this time around, and you get a brisk pace throughout. There's more great work from the Chiodo brothers, with more puppetry on display (including a wonderful "critterball"), and a whole lot of wonderful little details packed into every main critter-filled sequence. There's maybe not one single moment as unexpectedly funny as the "they have weapons" scene in the first film, but the sheer number of the visual gags will keep most viewers smiling, at the very least.

The cast are all good, and happy to play second fiddle to the puppets, and they work well together. Grimes remains the nominal lead (well, he shares that role with Opper), working well with Ware, Curtis, Mann, and everyone else around him. Curtis is a great female co-star, cute and plucky in the best b-movie character way. There are also small roles for Lin Shaye (again), Barry Corbin, and Eddie Deezen. Mann and Opper work well together, but neither are able to make as memorable an impression as Kernohan. 

It's probably not a film that many of those involved will put high up on their C.V. (and Twohy certainly hasn't been kind when briefly mentioning it), but I really cannot see how anyone who enjoyed Critters can fail to enjoy Critters 2. There are flaws - Garris has never been one to overdo the visual style in his films - but the emphasis throughout remains focused on the sense of fun. 

8/10

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Shudder Saturday: Nightmare Cinema (2018)

The main thing to take away from Nightmare Cinema is this; if you're in a cinema and you find out that Mickey Rourke is smirking as he projects the movies onscreen while slinking his snakehips up and down the aisles to chat to the patrons then you need to get the hell out of there.

The second thing to take away from it is not to be fooled by an anthology horror movie that tries to squash together some big names alongside some lesser-known names to provide solid entertainment for horror fans. This is not solid entertainment. It is, sadly, quite the disappointment.

There are five main tales here, framed by the scariest element of the whole thing (that Rourke-shaped projectionist), and only two work as well as they should. First up is a strong opener, The Thing In The Woods, written and directed by Alejandro Brugués. It's a fun romp through familiar territory until viewers are given an extra piece of information that turns everything on its head. Great fun, a decent twist, and a solid ending. Exactly what you want from a short film/anthology segment. Next up is Mirari, written by Richard Christian Matheson and directed by Joe Dante. I wanted to love this, it's been a while since the last thing I saw from Joe Dante, but that wasn't to be the case. It's not bad, and becomes increasingly twisted and gross in the second half, but it's all far too close to a very famous episode of The Twilight Zone (that I won't namecheck here, it gives too much away). Things get worse from there, with Mashit, which is written by Sandra Becerril and directed by Ryûhei Kitamura. This tale of demonic possession gives you nobody, and nothing, to care about. And it goes on for far too long. This Way To Egress is directed by David Slade, who also co-wrote the tale with Lawrence C. Connolly (writer of the short story it is based on). Funnily enough, although this is a big step up after the previous two tales, the biggest problem it has is that it's VERY similar to one of the newer episodes of The Twilight Zone. Again, naming the episode would give too much away, but it will feel very familiar to anyone who saw the latest series. Last, ending with a whimper instead of a bang, is Dead, written and directed by Mick Garris.

As uneven as the cast are throughout this selection of horror stories, that feels slightly unimportant anyway, considering the main draw for many people will be those involved behind the camera. And yet . . . just how many of these names ARE a big enough draw for all but the most die-hard fans of their work. I'll watch anything Dante does, his name is the hot ticket here, but I can take or leave the rest. Brugues and Slade have, for the most part, worked on TV content or other shorts over the past few years, which perhaps explains why they do better within this format. Kitamura impressed me with the vicious Downrange just a couple of years ago, but he's still not someone I would necessarily seek out. As for Garris, I remain perplexed by his "master of horror" status. It always seems like a little club he made up for him and his friends after spending a number of years riding the coat-tails of Stephen King (and this is coming from someone who has a major soft spot for The Stand).

It's glaringly obvious where the main flaws lie here, from the stories that have the weaker scripts to the general inability to pare things down to a more appealing runtime. Both Mashit and Dead would have been improved by being cut down to about 50% of their current length, for example, and cuts could also have been made elsewhere. There's also a feeling that not every director was paired up with material best suited to their style. Dante, for example, has to work with a tale that is set largely in a sterile hospital environment. Who thought that was a good idea? His "home ground", as it were, is American suburbia, either realistic or cine-realistic, and something that allows him to use everything he has genuine affection for in ways that he always makes fresh and more entertaining.

There's not much more to say. I don't want to make this feel like a review of the worst anthology horror movie ever. It's still worth a watch for the better stories (and other viewers will have different opinions on what works and what doesn't). It's just disappointing for those who want something a bit more memorable. Having said that, it's STILL largely better than the new Creepshow series.

5/10

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Hocus Pocus (1993)

It’s certainly worth remembering how much nostalgia can colour your view of things when you revisit a film like Hocus Pocus, a film that I was probably a bit too old to enjoy when it was initially released and most certainly too old to enjoy it nowadays, at the ripe old age of “I spent a lot of my teenage years wondering which of my mates could help me win a quest on Knightmare” years old.

This is a tale of three witches, the Sanderson sisters (played by Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker). They are your standard, evil witches. In an attempt to stay young forever, they need to drain life force from children. And that gets them in trouble. It gets them a death by hanging. Except death isn’t always the full stop for witches that it is for us mere mortals. Many years later, a young lad who is new in town (Max, played by Omri Katz) decides that it would be good to see what happens when a virgin lights the black flame candle. And what happens is exactly what is said to happen – the witches come back. And they have one night to gain immortality or be turned to dust by sunrise. It’s up to Max and Allison (played by Vinessa Shaw) to stop them, helped along the way by Dani (Thora Birch, playing the little sister to Max) and a talking cat (voiced by Jason Marsden).

There's fun to be had here, especially in any scene that has Midler front and centre, relishing every line that she delivers in her amusingly over the top portrayal, and Hocus Pocus is still one of those movies that I believe serves as a nice introductory "horror" for kids who like some spookiness in their viewing selections. If you can overlook the dated CGI, there's the talking cat to enjoy, an inept zombie, a lively spellbook, lots of fun confusion as the witches encounter the modern world, and a fun rendition of "I Put A Spell On You".

As well as all that, however, you also get the levels of annoying overacting that serve to remind you that this is a typical Disney movie. Not all live action Disney movies suffer from this, but most do. Katz, Shaw, and Birch are all okay in their roles, with Birch easier to excuse as the youngest of the three, but all have their moments. Midler and co. are easier to tolerate because of the characters they're playing. The worst of the offenders are Sean Murray, who plays a young man named Thackery, and Marsden as the voice to the cat (Thackery was transformed as part of a curse, both actors portray the same character), but Tobias Jelinek and Larry Bagby give pretty poor performances as a pair of local bullies, and Doug Jones is stuck with having to overplay things as he pursues the kids in zombie form.

The direction by Kenny Ortega is acceptable, I guess, but there are one or two great moments that show how much better this could have been, with just a little more thought and care for the style of the whole thing, and the script, by Mick Garris and Neil Cuthbert, ranks about the same. There are some very good lines, but also so many scenes that you know could have been filled with a lot more of them. This was a premise full of potential, and only some of it is realised.

There will be people who read this review and hate me, despite the fact that I don't hate the film. A lot of people still absolutely love it. I cannot bring myself to dislike it, despite it not holding up for me so much nowadays, but it's one I would only recommend to anyone wanting to introduce younger viewers to it. You'll still be able to enjoy it for yourself, but watching them enjoy it is an added bonus.

6/10

You can buy the movie on this shiny disc here.
Americans can buy it here.

Riding The Bullet (2004)

Riding The Bullet is yet another movie based on a short story by Stephen King and yet another King adaptation with Mick Garris directing (he's also helmed Sleepwalkers, The Stand, The Shining TV mini-series, Desperation and others). Mick Garris can do okay with strong enough material and I liked his earlier collaborations with King but it seems that, as they've grown more familiar and comfortable with each other, the director has taken on a few of the author's failings. I love the written works of Stephen King but he can't hit a home run every time (who can?) and when he's not on top form his writing is often full of too much superfluous Americana while good ideas are swamped by all of the local colour and insignificant sideroads.

Riding The Bullet was the first story that King ever released online. It seemed to be a success and I enjoyed the story when I read it in standard printed form in Everything's Eventual (a fantasic collection of short stories from someone who really is a master of the form). But it's not a great story and it's not a very lengthy story. It takes about 60 pages or so to tell the tale so making a 90 minute movie out of the thing would seem to be a difficult task. The movie of Riding The Bullet runs for 98 minutes. That kind of tells you everything you need to know right there. Great movies have certainly been made out of shorter stories but Riding The Bullet doesn't even have all that much going on under the literary layers, so to speak, and with the movie not adding too much to the material it all feels like something stretched way beyond breaking point.

This is more of an enjoyable twist on the "ghostly hitch-hiker" tale than anything else as Alan Parker (Jonathan Jackson) heads home to get to his hospitalised mother (Barbara Hershey). On his journey he thinks back to childhood memories (one of them involving his turn to ride on "The Bullet" rollercoaster), talks to himself, encounters some characters that pad out the running time and then takes a lift from someone (David Arquette) that he begins to suspect shouldn't be in any condition to drive a car.

There's just nothing here at all worth noting. Garris scripted the movie from the Stephen King story and either lifts things directly from the source or adds completely pointless material (though a scene near the very beginning with a vision of death and some lively wall decor gave me hope for some impressively imaginative work that subsequently went into hiding for the rest of the movie). The acting is all fine and the soundtrack contains a few decent tunes. But by the time the end credits roll you can't help feeling that you just wasted your time watching something of complete insignificance.

Personally, I'd recommend this as one of the many Stephen King adaptations to avoid but die-hard fans may be better pleased with it than I was. It's doubtful though.

4/10.

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