The Family Stone (2005)

I am not sure whether it is the streaming effect or whether people genuinely hold this film in high esteem, but 2023 was the year that I finally couldn’t seem to avoid seeing The Family Stone mentioned as a standard Christmas movie favourite for many people. So I figured I should see what all the fuss is about. I am still none the wiser, despite some good moments here and there that either deliver chuckles or tug on the heart-strings. 

Dermot Mulroney plays Everett, a young man who decides to take his girlfriend along to the usual family Christmas. The problem is that his girlfriend, Meredith (Sarah Jessica Parker), seems a bit uptight and prone to confuse herself while stressed. This amuses some of the family, but also eventually causes them to become upset as Meredith appears to display some horrible bigotry. Things get messier and messier, not helped by Everett’s brother, Ben (Luke Wilson), taking a shine to Meredith while her sister, Julie (Claire Danes), proves to be quite a surprise distraction for Everett.

Written and directed by Thomas Bezucha, The Family Stone has plenty of snow, a number of Christmas traditions, and a final scene that underlines the good intentions it was aiming for. Unfortunately, it also has a bunch of people who seem quite horrible, either unprompted or due to the escalating circumstances they’re caught up in, and it’s hard to find anyone to fully care about. I am not sure that I wanted anyone here to have a happy ending, and the tone fails to get the balance of sweet and sour right.

The cast aren’t bad, and they all do what they can to elevate the material they have to work with. Diane Keaton and Craig T. Nelson are absolute highlights, the mother and father trying to maintain order as things start to slip further and further out of control. Parker can do uptight and stressed very well, and she manages to become more likable when she finally gets a chance to relax as she continues to struggle with her own awkwardness. Mulroney and Wilson feel well-suited to their respective roles, Danes shines in a way that will have many viewers questioning why she never got enough huge movie roles, Rachel McAdams is irritatingly bratty, and there are fleetingly worthwhile moments for Tyrone Giordano, Brian White, Elizabeth Reaser, and Paul Schneider.

I cannot say I disliked this, the cast alone kept it watchable and more entertaining than it otherwise would have been, but I also cannot say that I actually liked it. The whole thing has a mean spirit that doesn’t feel counter-balanced by enough festive cheer, and it’s strange to watch such an ensemble cast of characters that only have a few people you hope have a relatively happy ending.

I already know that many people feel different to me on this one. I hope there are maybe some others who agree with me though, if only to make me feel less like I am taking crazy pills for being so disappointed with it.

5/10

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Hocus Pocus (1993)

It’s certainly worth remembering how much nostalgia can colour your view of things when you revisit a film like Hocus Pocus, a film that I was probably a bit too old to enjoy when it was initially released and most certainly too old to enjoy it nowadays, at the ripe old age of “I spent a lot of my teenage years wondering which of my mates could help me win a quest on Knightmare” years old.

This is a tale of three witches, the Sanderson sisters (played by Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker). They are your standard, evil witches. In an attempt to stay young forever, they need to drain life force from children. And that gets them in trouble. It gets them a death by hanging. Except death isn’t always the full stop for witches that it is for us mere mortals. Many years later, a young lad who is new in town (Max, played by Omri Katz) decides that it would be good to see what happens when a virgin lights the black flame candle. And what happens is exactly what is said to happen – the witches come back. And they have one night to gain immortality or be turned to dust by sunrise. It’s up to Max and Allison (played by Vinessa Shaw) to stop them, helped along the way by Dani (Thora Birch, playing the little sister to Max) and a talking cat (voiced by Jason Marsden).

There's fun to be had here, especially in any scene that has Midler front and centre, relishing every line that she delivers in her amusingly over the top portrayal, and Hocus Pocus is still one of those movies that I believe serves as a nice introductory "horror" for kids who like some spookiness in their viewing selections. If you can overlook the dated CGI, there's the talking cat to enjoy, an inept zombie, a lively spellbook, lots of fun confusion as the witches encounter the modern world, and a fun rendition of "I Put A Spell On You".

As well as all that, however, you also get the levels of annoying overacting that serve to remind you that this is a typical Disney movie. Not all live action Disney movies suffer from this, but most do. Katz, Shaw, and Birch are all okay in their roles, with Birch easier to excuse as the youngest of the three, but all have their moments. Midler and co. are easier to tolerate because of the characters they're playing. The worst of the offenders are Sean Murray, who plays a young man named Thackery, and Marsden as the voice to the cat (Thackery was transformed as part of a curse, both actors portray the same character), but Tobias Jelinek and Larry Bagby give pretty poor performances as a pair of local bullies, and Doug Jones is stuck with having to overplay things as he pursues the kids in zombie form.

The direction by Kenny Ortega is acceptable, I guess, but there are one or two great moments that show how much better this could have been, with just a little more thought and care for the style of the whole thing, and the script, by Mick Garris and Neil Cuthbert, ranks about the same. There are some very good lines, but also so many scenes that you know could have been filled with a lot more of them. This was a premise full of potential, and only some of it is realised.

There will be people who read this review and hate me, despite the fact that I don't hate the film. A lot of people still absolutely love it. I cannot bring myself to dislike it, despite it not holding up for me so much nowadays, but it's one I would only recommend to anyone wanting to introduce younger viewers to it. You'll still be able to enjoy it for yourself, but watching them enjoy it is an added bonus.

6/10

You can buy the movie on this shiny disc here.
Americans can buy it here.

The First Wives Club (1996)

Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn, and Bette Midler star in this very enjoyable comedy about three women who decide to exact revenge upon their greedy, selfish husbands by hitting them where it hurts - right in the wallet.

After the suicide of their old schoolfriend (Stockard Channing), three women reunite after too many years of no contact. Annie (Keaton) is in denial while her husband works through commitment issues, Elise (Hawn) is about to see half of her stuff handed over to her husband in an unfair divorce settlement, and Brenda (Midler) is trying to keep a brave face on things as she watches her husband (Dan Hedaya) spoiling his new, younger, girlfriend (Sarah Jessica Parker). While considering how much they have given up for their men, and how badly they have been treated, they decide to work together to create a satisfying plan to help them feel better, and also help all women who have been put in similar situations.

Based on a novel by Olivia Goldsmith, the male screenwriter (Robert Harling) and male director (Hugh Wilson) don't ever work against the material as it best complements the female leads. It may be men behind the camera but in front of the camera this is, as you'd expect, all for the women. And they're all great in their roles. Keaton does her strait-laced, uptight thing, Hawn has almost as much fun playing on the vanity of her character as she did in Death Becomes Her, and Midler just reminds everyone of how brilliant and hilarious she can be. Parker is a lot of fun playing young and shallow, Elizabeth Berkley and Marcia Gay Harden both have fun in small rolers, and Maggie Smith is on top side-eye form. A few of the main male characters are quite immediately forgettable, which is fine, but there are a number of good scenes involving Dan Hedaya, and the talented Bronson Pinchot gets to have a lot of fun as an interior designer helping the women to execute their plan.

There's nothing unpredictable here, considering the title of the film and the target audience demographic. You have one or two montage moments, you have friends singing one of their favourite songs, you have a mix of determined scheming and wistful recollections of dissipated romance. The leads lift each other up, they have insults ready to put down their enemies, and you get a typically lively, and often harmlessly bland, soundtrack.

I'm not sure how the majority of female viewers find this (judging by the reaction of my wife, I have to assume that most enjoy it) but it's hard to see how this would upset anyone too much. It's a one-two punch, basing everything on lead characters who are both female and a bit beyond their mid-20s, and that adds an interesting, positive, aspect to material that could have easily been a lot lazier, or twisted into something much more bitter.

7/10

You can buy the film here.
Americans can buy it here.

L.A. Story (1991)

The funny thing about L.A. Story is that I always quite liked it when I saw it back in the early '90s, but a lot of it was unfamiliar to me. Whether L.A.-centric or just soaked in the nuances of modern Americana, this comedy depicted an alien world. That's what it was always supposed to do. There are wonderful modern fairytale elements blended in there, but it's mainly a look at a strange culture/subculture/way of life. Funnily, and some might say depressingly, enough . . . . . . . . . . . . none of it seems so strange any more. None of it seems so absolutely American and/or Los Angelean. Hell, I now know more about the different flavours and types of coffees sold at Starbucks and Costa then I ever thought I would. I hate myself for that fact, but I usually hate myself while enjoying a medium caramel latte. To go.

Steve Martin plays Harris K. Telemacher, a resident of L.A. and a minor celebrity thanks to his whacky weather reports. He takes a lot of the stranger aspects of L.A. in his stride, but is also able to look around him and remember how bizarre his city is. The differences between his world and the world outwith L.A. are highlighted when he meets Sara McDowel (Victoria Tennant), an English newspaper reporter and also spends some time the the young and carefree SanDeE* (Sarah Jessica Parker).

Mick Jackson directs this sun-bathed slice of surreal-tinged comedy from a script written by Martin, and both men do their best by the material. The majority of the film is little more than observational comedy shoehorned into movie form, but it works brilliantly. The other main element, involving Martin receiving advice from a wise freeway sign, may be too ridiculous for some to enjoy but fair play to Martin for using it as something that turns the tone of the whole movie from one that could have been mean and sour to something playful and affectionate.

The cast is overflowing with great choices. While I've never been the biggest fan of Tennant, she's good enough in her role here. Martin is great, as always, and Sarah Jessica Parker gives a spirited and lovely performance. It's so good that I actually had to look back over that sentence after putting the words spirited and lovely so close to her name. Richard E. Grant is enjoyable enough, and Marilu Henner, Frances Fisher, Kevin Pollak and Susan Forristal all do well. Cameos from Patrick Stewart, Rick Moranis, Woody Harrelson and Chevy Chase also add to the fun.

L.A. Story allows people to laugh at L.A. and its many quirks, but it also makes an effort to remind viewers that magic CAN happen there. It might just be movie magic, but magic is magic.

8/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/L-A-Story-Blu-Ray-DVD-Combo/dp/B0082X0XF4/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1376570881&sr=8-2&keywords=l.a.+story

Mars Attacks! (1996)

Mars Attacks! is a crazy sci-fi comedy based on a series of popular trading cards. It's quite a slight film, as you'd expect from such source material, but it's also very funny in places and full of great homages to sci-fi films of yesteryear. Jonathan Gems was the man who put a script together for the alien antics while Tim Burton was in place to direct the madness.

The plot is summed up by the title. That's it. Really. What the alien invasion premise does is allow Burton to deliver a number of amusing, and often visually striking, vignettes to the audience, be it a herd of flaming cattle or a number of warped experiments taking place on a spaceship. Many of the moments in the movie are inspired directly by images on the trading cards, but there are still a few characters allowed to develop in between the set-pieces. Jack Nicholson plays the President Of The United States, with Glenn Close playing his wife and Natalie Portman the fed up daughter. Jack Nicholson also plays a man setting up the business deal of his life. Annette Bening is the woman in his life, trying to keep her spirit positive while surrounded by the corrupting, garish influence of Las Vegas. Michael J. Fox and Sarah Jessica Parker are two very different TV personalities, Pierce Brosnan is a scientist optimistic about the aliens and Rod Steiger is a not so optimistic general. Jim Brown wants to get back to his family, Martin Short wants to use his position as Presidential advisor to get with women and Lukas Haas wants, well, very little as he's the generally content sort.

As you might expect from a movie based on a series of trading cards, Mars Attacks! is more a series of amusing vignettes loosely strung together than an entirely flowing, coherent movie. It's anarchic and fun in a way that may put many people off, but I happen to like anarchic and fun. Think of some Ed Wood movie fused with any cartoon that featured Marvin The Martian and you're close enough.

Tim Burton is in his comfort zone, the film certainly feels as if he was left to his own devices and he has fun bringing the vibrant, retro imagery to life. The handling of the material is affectionate, the handling of the cast less so as they're killed off or experimented upon with not even a second thought for A-list status or billing order. As well as those already mentioned, all of them admirably going along with every preposterous moment, there are appearances from Jack Black, Pam Grier, Danny DeVito, Christina Applegate, Lisa Marie and Tom Jones. Yes, THAT Tom Jones. Playing himself, amusingly enough.

If you grew up with imagery of flying saucers that were actually saucer shaped, little green men who flew around the universe looking for people to menace with their ray guns and sci-fi b-movies that were as colourful and inventive as they were, oftentimes, cheap and cheerful then this is the movie for you. It recalls all of those elements with love and then uses them for lots of silly gags. Whether or not you actually enjoy the gags is another thing entirely, but you will enjoy plenty of imagery reminding you of aliens as envisioned in decades gone by.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mars-Attacks-Blu-ray-Region-Free/dp/B003IHVKR4/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1365138034&sr=8-2&keywords=mars+attacks

New Year's Eve (2011)

New Year's Eve is a big, bloated, all-star romance that shows how different people reach big moments in their life on . . . . . . . . New Year's Eve. Written by Katherine Fugate and directed by Garry Marshall, it's happy sappy fluff of the highest order. Originally planned as some kind of continuation from Valentine's Day (which I have yet to see), things eventually changed enough to make this a standalone film although I'm sure that the two easily make up an acceptable double-bill for those who can handle the excess sweetness.

It is, of course, New Year's Eve. One man needs to get to a certain place by midnight to reunite with a woman he has fallen in love with, one woman ends up catering for a gig and party that features her ex-boyfriend as the main entertainment, one mother is determined to keep her daughter from making any big mistakes, a pair of strangers are stranded in a broken elevator, a young man sets out to help an older woman complete a fairly expansive "to do" list, two pregnant women end up with a chance to win a cash prize depending on who has their baby first, a man lies dying in his hospital bed and one woman feels the eyes of the world watching as she tries to ensure that the Times Square ball drops at midnight.

Imagine if Love Actually had been made in America. Then imagine that it was only half as good. You then have New Year's Eve. The writing is just weak and predictable, the direction is just dull and predictable and the only good points about the film come from the few cast members who do well. Zac Efron and Michelle Pfeiffer are fun to tag along with as the former tries to help the latter get through her checklist of special experiences. And then Josh Duhamel is at least likeable in his tale, he's the one trying to reunite with the woman he loves. And . . . . . . . . . . oh no, that's all. Aside from a few cameos from the likes of Hector Elizondo, Larry Miller, Matthew Broderick, Carla Gugino and Yeardley Smith, there is nobody else to praise.

Jessica Biel and Sarah Paulson may not be terrible but they're stuck in a terrible story (they're the two pregnant women). Robert De Niro, Cary Elwes and Halle Berry go through the motions in there tale, which is ultimately pretty dull. Sarah Jessica Parker often annoys me so while she wasn't the worst offender here I still can't say that I enjoyed her performance. Hilary Swank was dull but okay, Ashton Kutcher was okay but dull, Lea Michele was dull and dull and then we get a double whammy in the storyline featuring Jon Bon Jovi and Katherine Heigl. Thankfully, Sofia Vergara is also involved in their pathetic and uninteresting part of the proceedings so she at least brings a bit of energy to the screen.

Overall, this is something that most people will be able to sit through without smashing up their TV but few will end up revisiting. Unless they start feeling particularly masochistic every New Year's Eve.

5/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Years-Blu-ray-Copy-Region-Free/dp/B0058N2SIG/ref=sr_1_2?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1355677261&sr=1-2