Critters 4 (1992)

Look, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that the fourth movie in the Critters series is as good as all the rest, especially when it makes the inevitable choice to set the majority of the action in space, but it's still nowhere near the lows you can find in many other low-budget sequels.

The opening scenes of the movie are the moments that were interspersed throughout the end credits of Critters 3, with Charlie (Don Keith Opper) being informed that he cannot destroy the last of the krites. This leads to him being frozen and stored with some krite eggs, maintained in stasis in a spacecraft for over fifty years. Eventually collected by a salvage ship, the krites set about doing what they do best, all while a crew bicker about the best course of action as they try to stay alive.

Very much riffing on the best-known sci-fi horror populated by a space crew of blue-collar workers, Critters 4 makes good use of everything it has going for it, which is mainly some decent production design stretching every dollar for the sets and a great cast. Filmed at the same time as part three, it's nice to watch something with decent continuity that doesn't have to tie itself in knots to keep stretching the central idea through more movies.

David J. Schow returns to the writing duties, assisted this time by Joseph Lyle, and it's all competently put together. The characters could have done with a bit more to them, it's clear that the intent is to show a group of people who work together without necessarily all liking one another, but they're all given enough room to breathe before they start to be endangered by the critters. Rupert Harvey, a producer on many of the movies in the series, directs with an equal amount of competence, if also a disappointing lack of creativity or flair (although this isn't a series known for flair).

But never mind who is behind the camera, with respect to everyone who came together to make this happen, just check out the cast. Opper may be one of the few people to have made it through every movie in this quartet, and he's fine in his role, but this time around you also get Anders Hove, Brad Dourif, and Angela goddam Bassett. There are other people onscreen, but the best moments involve Brad Dourif or Angela goddam Bassett being very Brad Dourify or Angela goddam Bassett-y.

To be completely honest with myself, this is a very average film. You never feel that the stakes are high, there aren't any great set-pieces, and even the comedy moments don't happen often enough to make it worthwhile. But with that cast in place, and in comparison to many other films of this type, it still manages to be worth your time. Especially if you want to enjoy and finish the main story arc.

6/10

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Critters 2 (1988)

Following on from the events of the first film, after a couple of years have passed, Critters 2 is a fun little film that does what a good sequel should, trying to recapture the entertainment factor of the original movie while making things a bit bigger. It turns out that I'm in the minority here, but I think this is a rare sequel on a par with the film that preceded it. Get yourself the Critters and Tremors movie sets and you have some of the best, and most fun, creature features from the past few decades (get yourself Grabbers as well, for extra fun)

Brad (Scott Grimes) is returning to his home town to visit his Nana (Herta Ware). His arrival sets some tongues wagging, with many people thinking of him as the boy who cried "alien porcupine" a couple of years ago. It's a good job that Brad is back though, because some eggs are about to hatch, meaning that the town is about to have quite a Krite problem once again. That means it's time for the return of Ug (Terrence Mann), Charlie (Don Opper), and Lee (taking the shape of a glamour model for a lot of the runtime, played by Roxanne Kernohan). There's a young woman named Megan (Liane Curtis) also ready to believe Brad, and help out. 

Directed by Mick Garris, who also co-wrote the screenplay with David Twohy, Critters 2 has lots to recommend it. You get the light sci-fi horror tone, you get more carnage this time around, and you get a brisk pace throughout. There's more great work from the Chiodo brothers, with more puppetry on display (including a wonderful "critterball"), and a whole lot of wonderful little details packed into every main critter-filled sequence. There's maybe not one single moment as unexpectedly funny as the "they have weapons" scene in the first film, but the sheer number of the visual gags will keep most viewers smiling, at the very least.

The cast are all good, and happy to play second fiddle to the puppets, and they work well together. Grimes remains the nominal lead (well, he shares that role with Opper), working well with Ware, Curtis, Mann, and everyone else around him. Curtis is a great female co-star, cute and plucky in the best b-movie character way. There are also small roles for Lin Shaye (again), Barry Corbin, and Eddie Deezen. Mann and Opper work well together, but neither are able to make as memorable an impression as Kernohan. 

It's probably not a film that many of those involved will put high up on their C.V. (and Twohy certainly hasn't been kind when briefly mentioning it), but I really cannot see how anyone who enjoyed Critters can fail to enjoy Critters 2. There are flaws - Garris has never been one to overdo the visual style in his films - but the emphasis throughout remains focused on the sense of fun. 

8/10

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Critters (1986)

Although I have no idea how well Critters did at the box office when it was released, I suspect it was a film that truly found a fanbase in the home video market. I know that is where I found it. And so did many other kids I knew. 

It’s quite a simple story, really, but has plenty of unique little touches to fill the runtime to feature-length without ever seeming to sag. A few aliens, known as Krites (aka the critters), escape from a prison and steal a spaceship, eventually crashing down in a small town here on Earth. This causes a lot of trouble for the Brown family, and things get more chaotic when two shape-shifting bounty hunters arrive in pursuit of the hungry wee alien beasties. 

Dee Wallace is Helen Brown, Billy Green Bush is her husband, Jay, Nadine Van der Velde is older teen daughter, Nadine, and Scott Grimes is young Brad. They are the main cast members. Billy Zane is also here, playing Steve, the boyfriend of Nadine, and Don Opper is Charlie, a child-like adult who is friends with Brad. The other person of note is Terrence Mann, who plays one of the bounty hunters, having taken on the appearance of a rock star named Johnny Steele. 

Directed by first-timer Stephen Herek, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Domonic Muir, Critters is the kind of fun creature feature that serves as a great gateway film for younger viewers, and proves equally entertaining to those who know the tone it is aiming for (a tone it nails consistently throughout). The titular creatures, designed by the talented Chiodo brothers, are deadly, but also portrayed as often being mischievous and unfocused, crazy animals that turn dangerous when they are threatened by others.

The cast all do a good job of reacting quite realistically to the madness around them. Although Grimes is the plucky kid at the heart of the film, Wallace and Bush are a good pair of cinematic parents, and Mann has fun keeping his demeanour calm throughout. Opper is okay, and gets to play two versions of his character, but he also feels undeserving of the importance he ends up having. There are also small roles for the wonderful M. Emmet Walsh and Lin Shaye. 

One of the better little creature features that came along in the mid-1980s, Critters not only holds up well today, it is also the first of a quartet of movies (in the original series) without any massive downturn in quality. And I am already looking forward to revisiting them all. And reviewing them here.

8/10

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Mrs. Santa Claus (1996)

Good ol' Angela Lansbury, she can do just about anything. She spent many years solving murders, of course, in Murder, She Wrote, she was a wonderful granny in The Company Of Wolves and her filmography is dotted with moments of greatness, such as her turn in the original The Manchurian Candidate. And then she has her all-singing, all-dancing Disney standing. Mrs. Santa Claus may not actually be a Disney movie but it certainly feels like one. A bad one, at that.

Lansbury plays the titular character, a woman who has stood behind and supported her husband (played by Charles Durning) for many years, working just as hard to make Christmas what it is while receiving no credit for it. She yearns to travel and have an adventure. So she does. Yes, Mr. Santa Claus takes the reindeer and goes off on a little trip of her own. Unfortunately, one of the reindeer has a bit of trouble which means that Mrs. Santa Claus may have to extend her time away from hubby. As long as she can survive Manhattan and get back before Christmas then everything will still be okay.

Set in the early 1900s, there's just nothing here to make this a worthwhile viewing for anyone but the most undemanding musical fan. Yes, it's a musical. However, the songs by Jerry Herman leave a lot to be desired, I can't think of one that I actually enjoyed and now can't remember any of them (which is a small blessing). That wouldn't be quite so bad if the writing by Mark Saltzman provided some entertainment but it doesn't. Director Terry Hughes takes those negative qualities and somehow makes them worse, populating the movie with a number of poor actors and actresses.

Lansbury is fine in the lead role but she doesn't have the spark that she once had, it's as if she's going through the motions. Her manner is all just too artificial, perhaps simply too sweet in these more cynical times to be believed. Durning isn't onscreen for long but he's fine, as is Michael Jeter (playing an elf named Arvo). The same can't be said for the likes of Debra Wiseman, David Norona, Terrence Mann, Lynsey Bartilson and Bryan Murray, all playing their characters in an annoying and amateurish manner that would look bad even in a particularly cheap episode of Dr. Who (now now, many people love Dr. Who nowadays but you can still tell whenever there's that one episode that didn't get the same budget as the others).

Despite the fact that I hated the movie, I will say that some of the production values were okay and that it's always good to see Lansbury in a role that doesn't have her solving murders while writing books (god, I used to hate that show). I've heard from other people who have thoroughly enjoyed this but I honestly can't figure out how their minds allowed that to happen. Watch it if you like but don't say that you weren't warned.

3/10

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