Freaked (1993)

Alex Winter is a douchebag. Not in real life. In real life, he seems to be one of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet. But in Freaked he is a massive douchebag, and also the main character.

He plays Ricky Coogan, a celebrity who is about to accept a huge payday to promote something that isn’t really that good for people. He gets first-hand experience of just how bad it can be when the crazy Elijah C. Skuggs (Randy Quaid) uses it to turn Ricky into a horrible freak, after making him witness the splicing of his friend (Ernie, played by Michael Stoyanov) and a young woman (Julie, played by Megan Ward) into one conjoined individual. All three are then thrown in alongside past victims of Skuggs, including the likes of Sockhead (voices by Bobcat Goldthwait), the Bearded Lady (Mr. T), Ortiz the Dogboy (Keanu Reeves), and a few others. Will Ricky and co. ever be able to free themselves, and reverse the effects of the mad freakmaker, or will they just have to learn to live with their new bodies?

As well as having a central role onscreen, Winter also co-directs here (alongside Tom Stern) and helped to write the script (with Stern and Tim Burns). Everyone behind the camera does a great job to deliver something very funny and wildly imaginative on a budget that probably wouldn’t cover the wardrobe costs on a Bill & Ted movie (and they aren’t exactly megabudget blockbusters). It would be easy to give all of the praise to Winter, who seems to have helped things along by making use of every connection and favour that he could (ensuring a number of fun cameos dotted throughout), but no individual makes a film alone, and everyone who worked on this deserves to get their share of kudos.

The practical effects are wonderful throughout, whether they are making people look as wild and weird as possible or just creating an extra visual gag (the cowboy, played by John Hawkes, is wonderful), and Kevin Kiner provides an enjoyable and appropriate musical score.

The performances are generally over the top, but that doesn’t mean they’re bad. Staying in line with the whacky sensibility of the material, everyone feels just right in their roles. Winter is a lot of fun, Stoyanov and Ward work well together, and Quaid keeps things lively with his demented “ringmaster” turn. As well as the people already mentioned in the collection of freaks, Derek McGrath does great work in the role of Worm, Jeff Kahn is Nosey, and Lee Arenberg is The Eternal Flame (another character complemented by an effect that allows for the gag to keep working). There are others, all doing well, but I decided not to go through the whole cast here. Oh, I should also mention Alex Zuckerman though, who plays a young Coogan fan/stalker named Stuey Gluck.

Still not as well-known as it should be, as far as I am concerned anyway, Freaked is the kind of film destined to retain a relatively small, but very loyal, fanbase over the years. I am happy to count myself as a member of that fanbase, and I would love to see more people discover this little comedy gem, especially if it involves some kind of anniversary disc release that allowed fans to own it with a few nice supplementary features.

8/10

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The Adventures Of Pluto Nash (2002)

Famous for being a massive flop when it was released, The Adventures Of Pluto Nash is a film that you cannot help going into with low expectations. If you ever decided to watch it. So it's perhaps inevitable that it exceeds those expectations, but only does so by being generally watchable throughout. Not good. Watchable.

Eddie Murphy starts as Pluto Nash, an ex-prisoner who ends up owning the hottest nightclub on the moon. Having already been relatively famous for his criminal life, Nash is now a very big fish in the small pond that he swims around. He has a robot bodyguard, Bruno (Randy Quaid), and a buyer who really wants to buy his club for a lot of money. He also ends up with an employee named Dina Lake (Rosario Dawson) who ends up on the run with Nash when the lively nightclub is blown up. Someone really wants that club, and they also want Nash dead.

The last film written by Neil Cuthbert, I'd assume the phone stopped ringing after this was released, this is a comedy that isn't very funny, a sci-fi film that doesn't do enough for sci-fi fans, and a family film that won't satisfy any family who sits down to watch it. There's not enough of anything to make it of interest to any one demographic, and I struggle to think about who it was aimed at. There are no satisfying action beats, the jokes that feel more like adult humour feel out of place, and even the final sequence feels like something that just limps along to the end credits.

Director Ron Underwood does nothing to help, although I suspect that he was hampered by his star (Murphy seems to have a tendency to not listen to those who don't want to do things his way). He is at least helped by a supporting cast full of welcome faces, but that's about the only main positive. Don't even start me on the soundtrack, which put my back up from the very beginning with a horrible rendition of "Blue Moon".

Despite not being on top form, Murphy isn't terrible in the lead role. Make his character a bit more worthy of the attention that he receives and you could have a fun person you want to spend time with. A fast-talking hustler who made it big? Yes. And that's how the character is meant to be, but it doesn't really come across that way, certainly not after the first scenes. Dawson is a fine addition, because Dawson is a fine addition to most movies that she's involved with. It may be far from the best thing that Randy Quaid has ever done, but he has some mildly amusing moments throughout. Elsewhere, Jay Mohr is a club crooner, and annoying for almost every minute that he's onscreen, Joe Pantoliano and Victor Varnado are the main villains (both working for a mysterious boss figure), Peter Boyle and Pam Grier have a couple of good scenes, Illeana Douglas is a lot of fun as a doctor with shady ethics, and there are roles for Luis Guzmán, James Rebhorn, Burt Young, Miguel A. Núñez Jr, and John Cleese.

In much the same way that most films people rush to call the latest "best thing ever" don't actually end up being the best thing ever, most films that people rush to call the "worst of all time" aren't usually anywhere near as bad as the very worst of all time. The Adventures Of Pluto Nash isn't good, and it's not one I'd recommend anyone to watch, but it's not irredeemably bad. It's just bad, and mostly dull. The latter is quite an impressive feat, considering all of the stuff thrown around onscreen.

3/10

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Prime Time: The Wraith (1986)

I'm not sure how everyone else encountered it, but The Wraith is a film I will always remember as a fond VHS favourite. The cooler poster design, the one that had the titular character standing beside his awesome car, the taglines, and the fairly impressive cast all made a strong impression on me, and the younger me had no idea that it was basically a reworking of one or two atmospheric Clint Eastwood movies.

There's a gang of assholes, led by Packard Walsh (Nick Cassavetes). Walsh wants to be with the beautiful Keri Johnson (Sherilyn Fenn), but she keeps resisting his advances, which is hard to believe when you see what a charmer Walsh is. The gang of assholes like to spend their time bullying people, racing cars, and generally being assholes, much to the chagrin of Sheriff Loomis (Randy Quaid). A new guy in town (Jake, played by Charlie Sheen) gets some attention, but not as much as "The Wraith", a black-clothed mysterious driver who turns up in a very impressive car, some kind of one-of-a-kind Dodge Interceptor. Without saying anything, this driver is challenged to race, which allows him to start picking off the gang, one at a time.

Written and directed by Mike Marvin knows exactly how to throw plenty at the wall for enough to stick. You get the attractive cast, the supernatural aspect of it all, the set-pieces (they might be limited by the budget and resources, but they're there), and the shiny, speedy car. Certain moments are very cheesy, not least of them being the moments of closure at the very end of the film, but if you accept it for all it is aiming for then you should still manage to have a good time. Perhaps Marvin could have learned further into the horror, and added some more gratuitous creepy moments in between the races and confrontations, but he generally does well at balancing the tone in a way that keeps focus on the teen appeal around the heart of the story. Having said that, I wouldn't be averse to a ramped-up remake.

Sheen is good enough as the handsome new guy in town, Fenn is as lovely as ever, and Cassavetes is a great alpha douchebag. The gang all under the leadership of Cassavetes is full of fun little turns, with special mention going to Clint Howard. Well, I suppose I mean to give special mention to Clint Howard's hair. Quaid is enjoyably chewing the scenery as the exasperated sheriff, and Matthew Barry is okay as a young man who doesn't realise that he has already known "The Wraith" in another guise.

The racing scenes are decently shot, the soundtrack has a couple of surprising hits in the mix, and the cast all at least have fun with their roles, even if they are not delivering the best possible performances. If you have fond memories of this from the VHS experience, as I did, then revisiting it won't leave you disappointed. It holds up surprisingly well, perhaps because it never tried to sell itself as anything more than an entertaining teen tale of ghostly vengeance. Which is all you get.

7/10

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Quick Change (1990)

Based on a book of the same name by Jay Cronley, that had previously been made into a French movie named Hold-Up, Quick Change is one of the few movies that I would refer to as underrated, if I ever used that word. But I try not to. Underrated, overrated, these things simply mean that you liked or disliked a film in a way you feel is different from the majority opinion. So let me just say that I have always liked Quick Change a lot more than the majority of film fans.

To date, this is the only film directed by Bill Murray (well . . . he co-directed with Howard Franklin, who also wrote the screenplay) and I wish that he'd decided to give it another go at some point, because this is a very enjoyable comedy that puts together a fantastic cast and makes great use of most of them.

The plot is simple. Murray dresses up as a clown and robs a bank. His plan is to delay the police for as long as possible while he and his accomplices get out of the city. They could be halfway to a tropical island before the police even risk storming into the bank to free the hostages. That doesn't happen though. Chief Rotzinger (Jason Robards) figures out what could be happening, which means the pursuit is on. The bank robbery itself was easy, the hard part is getting out of the city.

Alongside Murray and Robards, this cast includes Geena Davis (who I will watch in anything), Randy Quaid (who I am happy to watch in anything that isn't home-made), Phil Hartman, Tony Shalhoub, Stanley Tucci, and Kurtwood Smith. The latter two may be underused but they're still welcome additions to the cast list.

As well as a fun heist movie and a comedy of errors, Quick Change works as a very strange love letter to New York. The frustration of living in the city is what leads to the plan, and all of the obstacles in the way of the escaping robbers stem directly from the attitudes of the other New Yorkers that they meet, be they opportunistic car thieves, unhelpful construction workers, cab drivers who haven't mastered the language yet (a crude stereotype but one improved by the performance of Shalhoub), jobsworth bus drivers (a scene-stealinng turn from Philip Bosco), or members of the local mafia.

As I said, I have always liked this film more than the majority of film fans. I don't think that will ever change, but I'll be happy if I can convince one or two others to at least give it a chance.

8/10

A region 1 disc can be bought here.

Kingpin (1996)

Directed by The Farrelly brothers (Bobby and Peter), Kingpin is yet another slice of comedy brilliance from the men who gave the world Dumb & Dumber and There's Something About Mary, to name their two best films. This movie takes the world of ten-pin bowling and adds their usual mix of smart "dumb" gags, gross-out humour and set-pieces to make you laugh out loud.

Woody Harrelson plays Roy Munson, a young man with a great future ahead of him. He can bowl better than anyone else in the game and is on his way to greatness. Until he meets Ernie McCracken (yet another tour de force performance from the great Bill Murray). Ernie talks him into taking part in a money-making scam and things go horribly wrong when the victims demand revenge. Roy loses a hand, which is a big loss for any wannabe bowling champion. Years pass by and Roy becomes one hell of a loser. Things are so bad that his surname is synonymous with taking something potentially great and just turning it all to shit, pardon my language but that is the best way to describe it. His fortunes look up, however, when he finds himself a protege in the form of Ishmael (Randy Quaid). If Roy can convince Ishmael to go along with him on a road trip then they can get to a championship that has a first prize of one million dollars. Ishmael is reluctant to go along as he lives an Amish life and doesn't want to be outcast from the community but circumstances soon change enough to allow the two men to head off. They're soon joined by the gorgeous Claudia (Vanessa Angel) and, of course, "Big Ern" is still acting as if he's the best bowler who ever knocked down some pins. He certainly isn't worried by an Amish lad and some washed-up loser with one prosthetic hand.

Kingpin is, clearly, not for everyone but if you have a healthy sense of humour and aren't easily offended then you will probably find yourself at least having a good chuckle every few minutes. The gags keep flying around so thick and fast that only the most mirthless individuals can fail to have a good time. Even when there aren't clear jokes being made there are constantly amusing performances from the main cast members - Harrelson and Quaid are VERY funny, Vanessa Angel is gorgeous and joins in with all of the fun while Bill Murray steals almost every scene that he's in. There are also great little turns from Chris Elliott, Lin Shaye and Rob Moran.

The script is easily the best thing ever written for cinema by Barry Fanaro and Mort Nathan, the soundtrack is lively and fun (gaining extra points for the inclusion of a great E.L.O track - "Showdown") and there are a couple of great montage moments. The Farrelly brothers know just how far to go and then, as usual, go one step further, which is what makes them so great in the field of comedy. The film is ridiculous, but hilariously so, and while I still think that both Dumb & Dumber and There's Something About Mary hold up as better comedies with bigger laughs, I don't argue strongly with anyone who puts this movie above those two.

In comedy terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . it's a strike!

8/10

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