Haunted Mansion (2023)

Is there really any point in discussing the plot of Haunted Mansion? I am going to say no. The whole thing is summed up by the title. Most people are aware of it, either from the previous movie version or the theme park ride, or both, and all you need is a good enough reason to trap a group of characters, both living and dead, in the titular location.

Writer Katie Dippold and director Justin Simien may not seem like the first choice for this kind of thing, but they work together brilliantly to deliver something that has the perfect mix of heart, humour, and ghostly delights. A lot of this is thanks to the cast (and this is a movie that even finds a role for Jared Leto without making him seem so obviously Jared Leto), but there should be an equal amount of praise given to everyone behind the camera, from the costumers and special effects teams to the production designers, sound crew, and beyond.

Rosario Dawson and Chase Dillon are the mother and son who end up in the haunted mansion, enlisting the help of others when they realise that they cannot leave. Well, technically, anyone who sets foot in the mansion CAN leave, but they end up taking a ghost home with them, being haunted and spooked until they return themselves to the mansion. That happens to the characters played by LaKeith Stanfield, Owen Wilson, Tiffany Haddish, and Danny DeVito, each one becoming coming along to the hub of paranormal activity with some of their own baggage in tow.

Each to their own, but I am surprised that this seems to have been dismissed, and even disliked, by so many. I cannot help wondering if more people need to actually sit down and watch this, perhaps letting their opinion of the film be tainted by the previous one. I admit that I also found enough in that Eddie Murphy vehicle to enjoy, but I am starting to think less of it now that I have had so much fun with this version. If you have younger viewers who are already wanting some spooky viewing choices then this gets things pretty spot on, with the ghostly goings on nicely tempered by moments of humour that don’t unbalance and upset the atmosphere.

Stanfield is a very good lead, working hard to portray someone equally mystified, scared, and buoyed by the idea of such active spirits. Viewers know from very early on that he has been drowning in grief, and the mansion may give him a way to deal with that. Dawson is in protective mother mode, Wilson does his familiar optimistic schtick, and both DeVito and Haddish add to the fun in a way that keeps things lively without ever stealing the focus away from the main characters. Dillon is the one most likely to steal any focus, giving a performance that is sweet and entertaining, and his nervousness is often the funniest part of the first half of the film. Leto gets to be the villain of the piece, a ghost scarier and meaner than the others, and Jamie Lee Curtis is a good casting choice for the role of Madame Leota (mainly seen as the head in a large crystal ball).

I had a great time with this. The more I think about it, the less I can think to criticise, and this is coming from someone who isn’t exactly a big fan of Leto or Haddish. The emotional manipulation works, the ghosts are a perfect mix of phantasmagorical fun and age-appropriate scariness, and the comedy kept me chuckling away when it was supposed to. All in all, this is great family entertainment for those brave enough to wander through the mansion.

8/10

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Men In Black II (2002)

Another day, another chance to revisit a film that I think was always given a bit too hard a time when it was first released. Men In Black II is a lot of fun. It’s as well-paced and inventive as the first movie. The returning players are still great in their roles. It just isn’t as good as the hugely successful original.

A new baddie has landed on Earth (Serleena, played by Lara Flynn Boyle), looking to get their hands on something that was hidden away years ago by Agent Kay (Tommy Lee Jones). Unfortunately, Agent Kay had his mind wiped when he chose to retire from the MIB organisation, which makes things tricky when Agent Jay (Will Smith) has to bring him back “into the office”. Can they protect the valuable asset that Serleena is seeking? Can they even find the damn thing in time?

Written by Robert Gordon and Barry Fanaro, in place of Ed Solomon, and with Barry Sonnenfeld back in the director’s chair, Men In Black II doesn’t feel very far removed from its predecessor. There are one or two scenes that spend a bit too much time being too earnest and unfunny, but they are few and far between. Overall, this is a pretty great sequel, full of both new gags and gags that call back to lines and moments in the first film. The visual style is just as cool and slick throughout, and Danny Elfman once again delivers with his music (I think his main theme for this movie series holds up as some of his best work). Sonnenfeld keeps perfect control over everything, or at least makes it seem that way, and every extra detail, in the plot or production design, feels well-considered and relevant.

Although their roles have changed somewhat, Smith and Jones still make a great central pairing. The former remains cocky and ready to deliver witty lines, the latter still retains an air of exasperation around his well-worn face. Boyle is fun in the role of Serleena, an alien dominatrix with their tendrils whipping whoever doesn’t give them the right answers to their questions, and Johnny Knoxville is . . . well, look, I like Johnny Knoxville, but his character is the weak link there, a two-headed creation given too many chances to fool around in a way that isn’t on a par with the rest of the humour in the film. Rosario Dawson is a worthy addition to the cast, playing a murder witness named Laura who somehow avoids having her memory wiped, and there’s a typically great little turn from Patrick Warburton at the start of the movie. Rip Torn, Frank The Pug, and Tony Shalhoub all make welcome returns, as do the odd little “worm guys” (CG creations who all perk up when Dawson is introduced to them), and there are some fun cameos to keep your eyes peeled for.

The first film set a very high bar when it comes to blockbuster sci-fi comedy, and it holds up as a brilliant slice of modern mainstream cinema, but I remain convinced that this is a worthy sequel. It’s smart, it’s funny, it hits similar main beats. It just isn’t the first film, and I think those judging it too harshly on that basis are being a tad unfair. Although you can deduct an extra point or two from my rating if you REALLY can’t stand Frank The Pug. I have somehow grown to enjoy his screentime a bit more than I used to, but I can see how he could hurt the viewing experience.

7/10

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Netflix And Chill: Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)

While most sequels aren't always met with great expectations, especially when a decade has passed between the release of the original and the release of the next instalment, Zombieland: Double Tap was one that I was looking forward to watching. Not looking forward to enough to prioritise it too highly, mind you (which is why this review is appearing about four years after it was released), but I was heartened by the fact that everyone both in front and behind the camera was coming back for some more comedic zombie slaying.

We reunite with Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), Wichita (Emma Stone), and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) at a time when they seem quite happy with their lot in life. They take over a big house, they get to spend their days avoiding mayhem, most of their time is now available for them to just play around and have fun, and it's almost what you could describe as blissful. Then Wichita and Little Rock leave. Tallahassee and Columbus pick up a new companion (Madison, played by Zoey Deutch), but it's not long until Wichita returns to ask the guys for help. Little Rock is in danger, something much worse than the zombie carnage. She's gone off . . . with a musician.

Writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick are joined this time around by Dave Callaham, and it's clear that none of the three had a strong enough idea to make this whole adventure necessary. It's also clear, however, that working to a similar enough template to the first film isn't a terrible idea, considering that it allows us to spend more time in the company of characters who made such a strong impression the first time around. Director Ruben Fleischer is also happy to retain the same style and energy that added to the fun of Zombieland. Some may be quick to point out that you may as well just watch the first film again, and they wouldn't be too wrong, but there's still plenty here to enjoy, including a very fun performance from Deutch as the new, super-perky but not-too-bright, potential member of the group.

Harrelson and Eisenberg still work very well together, the juxtaposition of laid-back cool and constant anxiety keeping things amusing in between the more obvious gags. Stone adds more cool, and is as good as ever, while Breslin is enjoyable enough in her limited amount of screentime. Deutch aside, as she's already been mentioned, other newcomers to the series include Avan Jogia (the dreaded musician), Rosario Dawson (a character named Nevada who catches the eye of Tallahassee), and Luke Wilson and Thomas Middleditch (both fun, but playing two characters providing a comedic set-up that feels very close to a gag that was presented much better in Shaun Of The Dead).

If you had some kind of Zombieland bingo card then it wouldn't be long until you were shouting out "house". Metallica over the opening credits again, more rules to help you survive the zombie apocalypse, a journey to a final setting that may prove to be a deathtrap if a large enough zombie horde swarms in, and at least one fun celebrity cameo proving to be a highlight. The familiarity doesn't do enough to detract from the fun though. And, from the opening logo sequence to the end credits, this IS fun.

7/10

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The Adventures Of Pluto Nash (2002)

Famous for being a massive flop when it was released, The Adventures Of Pluto Nash is a film that you cannot help going into with low expectations. If you ever decided to watch it. So it's perhaps inevitable that it exceeds those expectations, but only does so by being generally watchable throughout. Not good. Watchable.

Eddie Murphy starts as Pluto Nash, an ex-prisoner who ends up owning the hottest nightclub on the moon. Having already been relatively famous for his criminal life, Nash is now a very big fish in the small pond that he swims around. He has a robot bodyguard, Bruno (Randy Quaid), and a buyer who really wants to buy his club for a lot of money. He also ends up with an employee named Dina Lake (Rosario Dawson) who ends up on the run with Nash when the lively nightclub is blown up. Someone really wants that club, and they also want Nash dead.

The last film written by Neil Cuthbert, I'd assume the phone stopped ringing after this was released, this is a comedy that isn't very funny, a sci-fi film that doesn't do enough for sci-fi fans, and a family film that won't satisfy any family who sits down to watch it. There's not enough of anything to make it of interest to any one demographic, and I struggle to think about who it was aimed at. There are no satisfying action beats, the jokes that feel more like adult humour feel out of place, and even the final sequence feels like something that just limps along to the end credits.

Director Ron Underwood does nothing to help, although I suspect that he was hampered by his star (Murphy seems to have a tendency to not listen to those who don't want to do things his way). He is at least helped by a supporting cast full of welcome faces, but that's about the only main positive. Don't even start me on the soundtrack, which put my back up from the very beginning with a horrible rendition of "Blue Moon".

Despite not being on top form, Murphy isn't terrible in the lead role. Make his character a bit more worthy of the attention that he receives and you could have a fun person you want to spend time with. A fast-talking hustler who made it big? Yes. And that's how the character is meant to be, but it doesn't really come across that way, certainly not after the first scenes. Dawson is a fine addition, because Dawson is a fine addition to most movies that she's involved with. It may be far from the best thing that Randy Quaid has ever done, but he has some mildly amusing moments throughout. Elsewhere, Jay Mohr is a club crooner, and annoying for almost every minute that he's onscreen, Joe Pantoliano and Victor Varnado are the main villains (both working for a mysterious boss figure), Peter Boyle and Pam Grier have a couple of good scenes, Illeana Douglas is a lot of fun as a doctor with shady ethics, and there are roles for Luis Guzmán, James Rebhorn, Burt Young, Miguel A. Núñez Jr, and John Cleese.

In much the same way that most films people rush to call the latest "best thing ever" don't actually end up being the best thing ever, most films that people rush to call the "worst of all time" aren't usually anywhere near as bad as the very worst of all time. The Adventures Of Pluto Nash isn't good, and it's not one I'd recommend anyone to watch, but it's not irredeemably bad. It's just bad, and mostly dull. The latter is quite an impressive feat, considering all of the stuff thrown around onscreen.

3/10

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Noir November: Sin City: A Dame To Kill For (2014)

When Sin City came on the scene almost a decade ago, it was unlike pretty much any other slice of cool that mainstream audiences had ever scene. Hard boiled doesn't even begin to cover it. Those visuals, those archetypes, and that cool dialogue all just clicked together into a great celebration of everything noir.

It's a shame that Sin City: A Dame To Kill For feels tired from almost the first scene. Reprising the same stylistic choices from the first movie - largely black and white, but with splashes of colour popping out here and there - makes it feel like little more than a complete rehash, with less interesting characters for us to hang out with.

The tales to be told this time around had the potential to be just as entertaining as the tales that made up the first movie. Eva Green is the woman of the title, and she's pretty much a perfect choice for such a femme fatale. She gets one tough guy (Josh Brolin) in her grasp, but he in turn enlists help from another tough guy (Mickey Rourke, reprising the role of Marv). The badass girls of the street also return (led, once again, by Rosario Dawson), and Dennis Haysbert takes over the role, Manute, that was previously played by the hulking Michael Clarke Duncan. Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a lucky gambler who is out for revenge. And lots of people rub each other up the wrong way.

Archetypes. That's all we have here, yet again, but they're just not as much fun this time around. For every moment of Eva Green being ridiculously sexy and callous, we end up having to endure a scene in which Jessica Alba tries to act drunk and tough and angry (hint = she can't). Gordon-Levitt and Brolin are great additions to the cast, but the film doesn't do well enough by their characters to make their tales as satisfying as they should be.

I'm assuming that most of what's here onscreen is hewn as closely to the source material, by Frank Miller, as it was in the first movie. In fact, Miller gets a co-directing and co-writing credit alongside Robert Rodriguez. Perhaps such slavish devotion to the material only works when it's cinematically strong? Or perhaps it was inevitable that the strongest tales were picked for the first movie, leaving any sequel to feel like second-tier stuff. A disappointing, disjointed air also doesn't help, with the stories never feeling that tightly intertwined, but there are still enough individual moments to make it worth your time. Just.

The visuals are as gorgeous as ever, if you go with the stylistic choices, and there's also plenty of fun to be had in the sprawling support cast, which includes the likes of Bruce Willis, Juno Temple, Ray Liotta, Stacy Keach, Jeremy Piven, Jaime King, Christopher Meloni, and even Lady Gaga.

Liked the first movie? You should find enough to enjoy here. It's just a shame that it never hits the heights of its predecessor.

6/10

http://www.amazon.com/Frank-Millers-Sin-City-Blu-ray/dp/B00N201WPM/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1415057588&sr=1-1&keywords=sin+city+a+dame+to+kill+for

Sin City (2005)

Cool, stylish, almost perfectly cast, and with many frames that look ripped straight from the pages of Frank Miller's original work, it's hard not to consider Sin City as one of the best comic-book movies of all time.

Director Robert Rodriguez, helped by Quentin Tarantino, also wrote the screenplay, and sets out from the very beginning to immerse viewers in a stark, black and white world of anti-heroes and villains. There are splashes of colour here and there, depicting bloodshed, strong feelings, or even just a nice pair of eyes. One other bonus, this was one of the last few films made to star Bruce Willis before he decided to sleepwalk into every paycheck.

There are little extra bits interspersed throughout, but the move iss mainly made up of three tales. In one, Bruce Willis plays an old cop who wants to get his man (Nick Stahl) at any cost. His perp is a sicko, but he's a sicko with a rich, influential father (Powers Boothe). In the second tale we get to meet Marv (Mickey Rourke), a big, brute of a man moves to action when he's set up for a murder he didn't commit. The murder of a woman that he felt great affection for. Clive Owen clashes with Benicio Del Toro in the third tale, leading to a situation that could cause a lot of trouble for the deadly working girls of Sin City. And then it's back to that dogged cop, many years later but no less determined.

As well as those mentioned, Sin City also features Josh Hartnett, Jaime King, Michael Clarke Duncan, Rutger Hauer, Elijah Wood, Rosario Dawson, Brittany Murphy, Jessica Alba, Carla Gugino, Alexis Bledel, Michael Madsen, Devon Aoki, and many more. It's certainly a star-studded cast but, more than that, everyone feels perfect for the role given to them.

Featuring his usual cool soundtrack accompanying the visuals, this manages to feel both like a great Frank Miller film and also a great Rodriguez joint. It's almost a perfect marriage of material and director.

Unfortunately, it doesn't hold up quite as well on repeat viewings. It's still very enjoyable, and consistently gorgeous to look at (seriously, freeze frame it at almost any moment and you get a gorgeous comic panel), but the pacing could have been tightened up slightly to bring the movie in under two hours, with the Owen/Del Toro section of the movie dragging things down badly.

For those who like their movies steeped in traditional aspects of cinema, this is a love or hate film. Shot almost entirely on green screen, with only a few real sets utilised, it's a unique experience, but one that absolutely works, in my opinion, due to the nature of the material.

If you want nuance and realism then feel free to reach for a thousand other movies before this one. But if you want something cool, visually stunning, and with moments of painful ultra-violence, then this might just be the ticket.

8/10

http://www.amazon.com/Sin-City-Blu-ray-Powers-Boothe/dp/B00FAHYNYC/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1408780621&sr=1-1&keywords=sin+city

And UK folks, don't forget to check out a double-bill at the cinema this weekend, while a lot of venues are showing this and Sin City: A Dame To Kill For. Such tickets can be found at sites like this one - http://www.picturehouses.co.uk/cinema/Cameo_Picturehouse/News/item/Sin_City_Sin_City_A_Dame_To_Kill_For/

Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief (2010)

Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman) is a teenager with his share of teenage problems. His mother (Catherine Keener) is living with a douchebag (Joe Pantoliano). He seems to have dyslexia and ADD, and only finds real peace when holding his breath at the bottom of the swimming pool, being timed by his friend, Grover (Brandon T. Jackson). It turns out that Percy is actually a half-blood, the result of a tryst between his mother and his biological father, the god Poseidon (Kevin McKidd). That's why he has dyslexia (his brain is actually designed to read writings in Ancient Greek) and ADD (he's impulsive and good in a fight). And, of course, that's why he likes the water. It's also, unfortunately, why he ends up as the main suspect when Zeus (Sean Bean) has his lightning bolt stolen. The clock starts ticking as Percy learns about himself, learns about many others like him at Camp Half-Blood (including Annabeth, played by Alexandra Daddario), and plans to somehow find, and return, the lightning bolt before the gods start fighting one another. Oh, and he also has to save his mother from Hades.

Based on a popular series of books by Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief is very enjoyable family entertainment that should please fans of the Harry Potter franchise. In fact, that's obviously what everyone was thinking when Chris Columbus was hired as the director. The script from Craig Titley gets all of the information across and paces things perfectly in between some great set-pieces, but there's just something in the execution of the material that stops this from being as great as it should be. It's always entertaining, and there's a lot of fun derived from the updating of the Greek myths, but it suffers greatly, I think, from a weak finale. Especially after the fantastic characters that our plucky group have already encountered before they realise who the real lightning thief is.

Lerman, Jackson and Daddario are all good enough in the main roles, but a lot of the fun here comes from the stars having fun in the supporting roles. Okay, Bean and McKidd are as serious and weighty as they need to be, but Pierce Brosnan is memorable in his supporting turn, Uma Thurman is fantastic as Medusa, and Steve Coogan and Rosario Dawson play well off each other as Hades and Persephone, respectively. Jake Abel seems a bit bland as Luke, a fellow camp resident who provides a lot of help as Percy and his friends prepare for their quest.

All of the choices here, from special effects to music to camerawork, are predictable enough. This is safe family entertainment. It has some grandiose moments, but always works hard to get back to focusing on the teenagers and their teenage ways of working out solutions to their problems (this isn't me being sarcastic, I'm just specifying that the film constantly keeps its target demographic in mind). Unfortunately, despite trying hard, it's probably not cool enough for most teenagers to enjoy. That may explain why the box office performance was pretty disappointing, and it may explain why I like the movie more than many other film fans I know.

Because if there's one thing I know, it's that I have never, ever been cool.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Percy-Jackson-Lightning-Thief-Monsters/dp/B00EE5BWTU/ref=sr_1_5?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1391527616&sr=1-5&keywords=percy+jackson

 

Death Proof (2007)

While it must be said that Death Proof is much better as part of the Grindhouse experience, where it appears in a truncated form, revisiting the movie wasn't as painful as I had anticipated. It remains the weakest film from writer-director Quentin Tarantino, to date, but it's also full of many delights for fans of this kind of entertaining "trash".

The plot is actually very slight. The movie follows two different groups of girls and shows what happens when they run into a very dangerous driver known as Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell, the highlight of the film). That's really all there is to it, with this plot providing Tarantino with the excuse he needs to set up some automotive carnage in the first half and a quite superb car chase during the grand finale.

The biggest problem that Death Proof has is the cast in the first half of the movie. Tarantino fills the film with his usual dialogue, but it's coming out of the mouths of young women who just aren't convincing as people who would be experienced and/or cool enough to have such tastes and conversations. Jordan Ladd, Vanessa Ferlito and Sydney Poitier may be lovely young women, but they're practically children compared to the characters normally delivering Tarantino soundbites. Rose McGowan is a saving grace, as is a lapdance sequence and a couple of choice music selections, but the rest of the first half is one big wasted opportunity when not putting Kurt Russell front and centre. Thankfully, things pick up enormously when the second group appears. Mary Elizabeth Winstead may play someone young and naive, but Rosario Dawson, Tracie Thoms and Zoe Bell all feel like adults with some experience of adult life.

The second-biggest problem that Death Proof has ties in with the first, it's the way in which Tarantino seems to be indulging himself. Of course, it could be argued that his best movies have stemmed from an urge to indulge himself, but this just takes it that bit further. The pacing is painfully slow at times, speeches serve little purpose except allowing the writer-director to relish his own dialogue and the casting is hit and miss because one or two people seem to be there for reasons other than their actual ability to act.

These problems, however, CAN be temporarily forgotten whenever Kurt Russell is reminding viewers of just how great he can be at becoming a full character or when cars are speeding along on tarmac. The finale of the movie keeps these two elements onscreen for an all-out, tyre-screeching, fender-bending car chase that feels like it could have come straight from the 1970s. Which means that the film is a partial success.

It still won't necessarily win you over entirely, but Death Proof is certainly a film worth revisiting at least once. Those car scenes, the pretty flawless soundtrack, some enjoyable dialogue exchanges and another top drawer performance from the one and only Mr. Russell end up ensuring that there's at least something to enjoy during its runtime.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Death-Proof-Blu-ray/dp/B001L4I1XM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369753520&sr=8-1&keywords=death+proof+blu+ray

Or go for the full Grindhouse package with this - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Grindhouse-Collectors-Edition-Blu-ray/dp/B004C9MC9W/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370126861&sr=8-1&keywords=grindhouse+blu+ray

25th Hour (2002)

Directed by Spike Lee, and written by David Benioff (developing the screenplay from his own novel), 25th Hour is a superb piece of work that gives some great material to some great actors and then sits back to let everyone enjoy the results.

The story revolves around Monty (Ed Norton), a drug dealer who has been busted and is enjoying his last night with friends before heading to prison to do his time. He tries to relax in the company of his girlfriend Naturelle (Rosario Dawson) and then goes out for a meal with his father (Brian Cox) before meeting up with Jacob (Philip Seymour Hoffman) and Frank (Barry Pepper), his two best friends. The whole evening is tainted, however, by an element of mistrust and a desire to find out just who ratted on Monty.

This is, quite simply, a quality movie that you should sit back and let wash over you. Great acting, a great script (there are two standout moments that are so brilliant you may well want to rewatch them as soon as they're finished), plenty of food for thought that is never forcefed to the audience and some nice visual flourishes here and there all add up to something almost perfect. In fact, the only thing really holding it back from being a perfect movie is the fact that a number of scenes really feel a bit pointless (including the two that I think are the best in the movie). They're NOT pointless, and I think that everything in this movie comes together to make a whole experience much more than the sum of its parts, but it's easy to view them that way.

Norton is great in the lead role, believably smart and cool, but the supporting cast sees a number of people knocking it out of the park. Philip Seymour Hoffman gives the effortlessly great performance that he's given in almost every movie that he's been a part of, as does Brian Cox, while Barry Pepper is so good that I can't help but wonder, every time I see him doing such great work, why he hasn't had bigger roles in the past decade or so. Rosario Dawson is as lovely as ever and Anna Paquin (playing a free-spirited student that Jacob fancies, while he knows that he shouldn't) is a fizzing bundle of youthful energy and passion.

I've not seen enough Spike Lee movies, sadly, to judge this film in comparison to his highly-regarded earlier works (yes, yes, I will aim to rectify that situation ASAP), but 25th Hour is almost as good as Inside Man and shows a director who has matured over the years while never losing that interest in questioning the status quo and provoking a reaction.

8/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-25th-Hour-Edward-Norton/dp/B0000TZ7GS

The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto (2009).

From the mind of Rob Zombie comes this animated movie that’s madder than anything and everything that he’s previously put onscreen and an absolute hoot for those who can enjoy the puerile humour and the, unsurprisingly, reference-laden material (as I did).

El Superbeasto (voiced by Tom Papa) is a masked hero who is also a bit of a jackass. Think of Ash from the third Evil Dead movie and times that by ten, also adding numerous merchandising tie-ins and an ability to be fairly useless when needed the most. Dr Satan (Paul Giamatti) plans to find himself a certain woman he can make his unholy bride and to become a super-satanic piece of nastiness. And the certain woman is the mouthy and very busty Velvet Von Black (Rosario Dawson). El Superbeasto wants to save the not-so-innocent damsel in mild distress and needs the super-duper Suzi X (Sheri Moon Zombie) to help him out. Suzi herself is greatly helped by her transforming horny robot, Murray (Brian Posehn).

Honestly, this movie is entirely ridiculous for most of it’s running time but I enjoyed it immensely. The animation style was like a neon-lit cross between Ren & Stimpy and Fritz The Cat (which isn’t surprising as these two titles were amongst the inspirations for the animation) and it is also helped by one of the most amusing selection of song lyrics since Trey Parker and Matt Stone last set about writing a soundtrack. The song about Suzi X being chased by motorbike-riding zombie Nazis has to be heard to be believed, it had me laughing hard. Listen to it right here and now on this YouTube link.

The vocal cast are all great, from the leads to the cameo turns from the likes of Sid Haig, Bill Moseley and (my favourite of the lot thanks to the wonderfully droll character that he voices) Geoffrey Lewis.

As this is a Rob Zombie movie it’s no surprise that we get references to other horror classics but the wealth of them and how spot-on they are (thanks to the animated medium) pleasantly rewards the viewer who has been exposed to the same influences as Mr. Zombie. From the wonderful intro that brilliantly recreates the warning at the beginning of Frankenstein (1931) to the nod to Planet Of The Apes to Sunset Blvd to Zombie’s own outings (Moseley and Haig voice their respective characters, Otis Driftwood and Captain Spaulding) – you’re never far away from a subtle or not-so-subtle nod to another movie.

This could easily be dismissed as juvenile, unfunny nonsense by those who don’t find the humour appealing to them. Me? I thought it was damn hilarious and keep looking forward to Rob Zombie’s directorial outings in any form. 

8/10. 

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