Prime Time: Play Dirty (2025)

Another attempt to successfully adapt some of the "Parker" books, written by Donald E. Westlake, into something that could be viewed as a profitable movie property, Play Dirty has the bonus of being directed by Shane Black, who also worked with Charles Mondry and Anthony Bagarozzi to create the screenplay. Unfortunately, it's the Shane Black of recent years, and not peak Shane Black. And he's decided to give himself a challenge by putting Mark Wahlberg in the main role.

Parker (Wahlberg) is involved in a heist that ends well, until his team is killed off by someone who betrays them. Aiming to get another payday lined up, as well as some revenge, Parker ends up helping Zen (Rosa Salazar) with a planned robbery that will once again get him targeted by the powerful and dangerous Lozini (Tony Shalhoub). Lozini has his goons, but Parker has Zen, Grofield (LaKeith Stanfield), Ed and Brenda (Keegan-Michael Key and Claire Lovering), and Stan (Chai Hansen). And he aims to stay one or two steps ahead of everyone else.

This should be great. It's a perfect marriage of material and writer-director. So the fact that it isn't feels like a confirmation that things started to go wrong when the casting decisions were made. Wahlberg can be good in movie roles, and I've enjoyed him in many other features over the years, but it has become harder and harder to view him as some kind of cheeky charmer with every opportunity to be reminded of how he puts himself across in everyday life. Not that Play Dirty necessarily wants the character to be viewed that way, but, then again, the film doesn't ever really settle on what it wants.

This is a mess, disappointingly inconsistent as it lurches from one unsteady set-piece to the next. Parker is sometimes ready to quip and wink at others, sometimes just intent on being dead-eyed and murderous. The characters around him have the potential to be a fun mix, but most of them are either underused or not used in the right way. This should have been a home run for Shane Black. He barely avoids a strike out.

Salazar is a great fit for her role, and arguably the highlight of the film. Other standouts include Hansen, Chukwudi Iwuji (who plays someone caught up in the unfolding scheme), and Nat Wolff as one of the main generals to Lozini. That maybe tells you all you need to know. Wahlberg has a bit of presence, but no charisma, Stanfield is crying out to be allowed to have more fun with his role, and both Key and Lovering seem to have been picked for one scene that makes decent use of them.

There are similarities between bad action movies and bad comedies. Cast the wrong person in the lead and you're scuppered. Punchlines aren't effective if nobody cares about the setups. And you can't cover up your mistakes by simply making things louder and busier on the way to a weak and completely mishandled ending. Play Dirty is a bad action movie, but it occasionally mixes things up by also being a bad comedy. The opening sequence is decent, and had me getting my hopes up for the rest of the film, but it quickly goes downhill from there.

I think it's unlikely to happen, but I'd love to see Shane Black take things down a notch and bring us a stripped-down and low-budget detective film for his next feature. Something that would sit nicely alongside his best work, but also sticks to a grittier tone that might still surprise his fans. 

3/10

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Alita: Battle Angel (2019)

Hey, I am as surprised as you might be to be saying this, but maybe more people should check out Alita: Battle Angel. It's not necessarily going to become your new favourite movie, it's certainly not going to placate you if you've been spending some time recently seeking out quality cinema with great actors delivering ear-tickling dialogue, but it's a fantastic bit of escapist fun, set in a world full of cool little details and wonderful production design.

The film starts off with Christoph Waltz, playing a Dr. Dyson Ido (and his surgical work now involves a lot of engineering or robotic parts), finding a discarded cyborg body that he then rebuilds and reactivates. The cyborg is Alita (Rosa Salazar), a young woman who strives to remember her past, and who ends up having a number of much bigger cyborgs tasked with ending her life.

Based on a manga (Gunnm AKA Battle Angel Alita) by Yukito Kishiro, Alita: Battle Angel comes to the screen courtesy of a screenplay by James Cameron and Laeta Kalogridis and direction from Robert Rodriguez. As ridiculous as it may seem, considering some of their achievements throughout their careers, none of these names are the draw they once were. People tend to actively mistrust Cameron nowadays, with good reason, considering how many times he has done his bit to sell us on Terminator sequels of ever-diminishing quality. Everyone is on good form here though, and it's refreshing to see Rodriguez back at the helm of something that is looking forward rather than trying to emulate the past (he does the latter well, but it's a well he's gone back to a few too many times throughout his career).

The cast help to sell everything, especially Salazar in a role that transforms her into the wide-eyed central character and Waltz as the fallible human who kicks things off. Jennifer Connelly and Mahershala Ali are enjoyable as the people who are manipulating events to direct Alita towards dangerous confrontations, Keean Johnson is the pretty male/potential love interest, and a couple of the main mean cyborgs are played entertainingly enough by Ed Skrein and Jackie Earle Haley.

But don't go thinking I am praising this as a near-perfect cinematic experience. While it delivers on the eye candy, and it really does (I was relieved to see that Rodriguez could still do well with action scenes), it's also full of good quality cheese. The script is silly and clunky, especially in the few moments in which it tries to have characters showing some real emotions. It's easy to forgive, however, as we're taken from one gorgeous sequence to the next (whether it's just a crowded street scene or a violent sporting tournament).

I'm not sure if we'll ever get any other instalments after this one, it didn't seem to do as well as expected at the box office, but I do know that I'll try to catch them on the big screen if we do. For sci-fi action blockbusters that enjoy pretending they have some depth to them, this is one of the better examples we've had in recent years.

7/10

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Netflix And Chill: Bird Box (2018)

It's fitting that those with the ability to see the world around them would have to have been blindfolded for the past few weeks to have somehow missed the promotion and memes that have been doing the rounds since Bird Box was released on Netflix. It all helped to turn the film into another big hit for the company (although exact numbers are always hard to come by when figuring out how good or bad things do on the platform).

Sandra Bullock is Malorie, a woman who was extremely happy at one point, just before the whole world went to hell. Malorie had been attending a standard check up on the health of her baby, accompanied by her sister (Jessica, played by Sarah Paulson), and then people started to act funny as they headed home. It's a strange force, something that people see that drives them to commit suicide. Malorie ends up in a house with some others (including Tom, played by Trevante Rhodes, and Douglas, played by John Malkovich) who have quickly surmised that the key to staying alive is to stop yourself from being able to see the outside world. But that makes things difficult when provisions need collected, and when there are some other people who are insane enough to want to help others look at what they somehow view as something glorious.

I approached Bird Box with no small amount of trepidation. Let's face it, I was already a week or two behind everyone else, a lot of people seemed to be having more fun with the memes than the actual movie itself, and I assumed that it was another case of Netflix doing a better job of creating viral content than a film that would actually impress me. I'm pleased to say that I was wrong.

This is a fantastic film. Not just a fantastic film to land on a home platform, although that undoubtedly helped it to snowball and find the kind of audience figures it may well have struggled to reel into cinemas, but a fantastic film for genre fans. Many have already labelled it as a cross between The Happening and A Quiet Place. While that comparison isn't entirely unwarranted, it's not exactly fare. Bird Box ends up being better than both of those films (which I know is an opinion that will leave me pretty lonely, in the case of the latter movie anyway, but I'm standing by it).

Based on a novel by Josh Malerman, the screenplay by Eric Heisserer is very good indeed, using jumps between the present and the past to help maintain tension and optimise the pacing. The fact that the central force is unseen (but physicality is certainly hinted at - people focus their sight somewhere, shadows are cast across windows, etc) helps to avoid any anticlimactic reveals, and there's also the variety added by the other survivors who become a problem, as happens in almost every "post-apocalyptic" movie, a subgenre that this film certainly has a foot in.

Director Susanne Bier has a solid enough filmography, although nothing that seems to be as horror-tinged as this is. But that may be another factor that really helps, Bier helps to keep everything consistent in tone by allowing the characters to lead the way, simply allowing the situation to allow them to show more of themselves as they have to act and react quickly, to preserve their own lives and anyone else they decide to try and protect.

Bullock is excellent in the lead role, but that's not much of a surprise to anyone who has been a fan of her work over the years (and I count myself among them), but I doubt the film would have worked as well if they'd placed it all on her shoulders, a la Gravity. No, this time around, a strong lead performance is boosted by strong supporting turns from a cast that includes Trevante Rhodes (who is very good), John Malkovich (as excellent as ever), Jacki Weaver (underused), Danielle Macdonald (saddled with being the character who makes the decisions that will make you roll your eyes), and Tom Hollander (very good in a role that is perhaps the weakest link in the whole film). There are also good performances from Paulson, B D Wong, Rosa Salazar, Lil Rel Howery, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Parminder Nagra, and young Vivien Lyra Blair and Julian Edwards as the young children accompanying Bullock for part of her journey.

Because of the sheer number of people who rushed to see this, Bird Box has very quickly proven to be a divisive film. And I already know a lot of people who don't want to watch it because they're already fed up of the gags that have gone viral. I would say, as with most movies, it's still well worth your time. See it and make up your own mind about the film itself. Not the marketing, not the reaction to it, just the film. And I hope you end up enjoying it almost as much as I did.

8/10

Here's a pack of other Sandra Bullock movies available to buy.
Americans can get a Bullock fix here.