Prime Time: Balls Up (2026)

If you want to know the level of care and thought that went into writing and directing Balls Up then you should know that it's set during a football world cup tournament in Brazil. In 2025. I'm no great follower of sports, and certainly no football expert, but even I know that the World Cup has taken place every four years since it began back in 1930 (with the exception of a couple of tournaments that were not played due to a little historical event known as WWII). 

Directed by Peter "How Far The Mighty Can Fall" Farrelly, and written by Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese (two men who have proven that they could be funny on past projects), this tall tale concerns Brad (Mark Wahlberg) and Elijah (Paul Walter Hauser), two men who are aiming to make their latest prophylactic (one that covers both testicles as well as the shaft of the penis) the only one to be features in the World Cup final. Things don't go to plan though, and Brad and Elijah soon end up stumbling from one mess to another, seemingly pursued by every Brazilian football fan.

I never thought I would say this, but I think Mark Wahlberg needs a Ted 3 to save him before he hits any new lows that he won't be able to come back from. It's almost as if he's become so enslaved by the streaming services, and their paychecks (of course), that he has forgotten how the movie business works when it comes to stars maintaining their value. I could be very wrong, but right now . . . if Wahlberg was a stock market commodity then people would be selling their shares before the inevitable spiral and crash. Hauser is also devaluing himself, but he at least has a fairly varied selection of features that offer him a chance to hold on to enough goodwill until another upswing saves him from potential obscurity. 

It's not just the leads who dive into this bog of eternal stench, however, and both Benjamin Bratt and Sacha Baron Cohen should have a stern word with their agents. At least Bratt isn't onscreen for much of the runtime. Cohen is a big presence in the middle third, sadly, and does nothing to stop it from being a fairly laugh-free zone. Molly Shannon made me smile a few times, there's an amusing voice cameo from Larry David, but Eric André, Chelsey Crisp, Jackson Tozer, Daniela Melchior, and Eva De Dominici are sorely mistreated by a screenplay that's stinkier than Pepe Le Pew in self-defence mode.

If you're after some simple laughs then the opening scenes may give you some hope. There's nothing smart or gut-busting there, but at least one or two moments are entertainingly silly without having to feel connected to a whole wide world outwith the workplace environment. I'd advise you not to let that sense of hope fool you though. Sometimes, yes, hope can set you free, but it can just as easily set you up for a plunge into mirth-free darkness and pain. And that is what you get here. 

I was going to rate this a 2/10 for the opening scenes, but I decided to generously bump it up by one because I admit that I chuckled when Wahlberg and Hauser were shown performing a karaoke version of "Somebody That I Used To Know". Others may not be so easily amused, although there's a chance that my reaction was akin to someone being given a sip of water after three days wandering through a desert. Consider yourself duly warned.

3/10

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The Family Plan 2 (2025)

There were two main reasons for me watching The Family Plan 2 last month. First of all, I had recently watched The Family Plan. Second, it seemed to have some Christmas trimmings, which meant I could possibly include it alongside many other seasonal choices. It turns out that, like the film itself, neither of these reasons are good enough.

Director Simon Cellan Jones and writer David Coggeshall return to their main roles here, and they have most of the main cast members back with them. The main family members are Mark Wahlberg, Michelle Monaghan, Zoe Colletti, and Van Crosby, with the youngest one now portrayed by Peter and Theodore Lindsey. It's coming up to Christmas, and Dan (Wahlberg) wants the family to spend some quality time together, which is why he takes them over to London to reunite with Nina (Colletti). Nina is surprised by their arrival, especially as her boyfriend (Omar, played by Reda Elazouar) is using her shower at the time. Things don't look as if they'll be happy and idyllic, particularly when Dan is targeted by an individual (Kit Harington) with a very personal and powerful motive for revenge.

This is nonsense, and not in the same way that the first film was nonsense. That was silly, but it was entertaining enough to make the silliness feel like an acceptable enough price to pay for the plotting and action beats. This is just ridiculous, especially as viewers find out more and more unbelievable details about the backstory of our main character. And while the whole family are once again along for the ride, it feels like they're constantly being nudged to the side in order to keep the focus on Wahlberg and Harington, who are arguably the two least entertaining performers onscreen.

Okay, there are some decent sequences that make use of a couple of great locations (one being London, the other Paris), but nothing else about the film feels worth your time. The small twists are blindingly obvious, the action is dull and somehow a bit dated (they showcase some parkour as if it's the latest cool thing to crash into the action movie scene), and there's no kind of development of the family bond that we had last time around.

Wahlberg can do this kind of thing on auto-pilot, and that's what he seems to be doing for the majority of the runtime. Harington never really feels like a major threat, although he does better when his character isn't trying to be a super-villain. Monaghan, Colletti, and Crosby try to enjoy the scraps thrown their way, Elazouar is a decent addition to the main group, and I was pleasantly surprised to see Sanjeev Bhaskar in a small role. 

Feel free to pick this if you can't think of any other way to spend 106 minutes, but don't pick it just because you enjoyed the first movie. And certainly don't pick it if you want an action film that might also give you some Christmassy warmth and colour. Jones ands Coggeshall have worked together here to deliver the bare minimum in all regards. And I'm annoyed that I will inevitably watch a third instalment if one is made. 

4/10

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The Family Plan (2023)

It is frustrating for me that my dislike of Mark Wahlberg appears to be in inverse proportion to how often I watch his features. Whatever you think of him, or of his acting skills, he often ends up in entertainment that appeals to those after some silly and fun distraction.

The Family Plan is interchangeable with a whole heap of other movies we have seen in recent years about family men forced to confront a past in which they were super-skilled and deadly. Wahlberg is that man, of course, and he has a whole family unit (his wife, Michelle Monaghan, two teens, Zoe Colletti and Van Crosby, and a baby) completely unaware of his dangerous history. Can Wahlberg keep his family in the dark as various people start trying to kill them while they head off on an unexpected road trip?

Writer David Coggeshall knows what he needs to do here, and he does it. This is a take action comedy, but it’s equally a star vehicle for Wahlberg. If you think that Wahlberg isn’t going to emerge victorious then you haven’t seen any other Wahlberg movies recently. While there aren’t any truly memorable exchanges, nor any surprises in the plotting, the screenplay sets everything up and moves along quickly enough to stop viewers from asking too many questions.

Director Simon Cellan Jones has, as of today, made his most recent three films with Wahlberg in the lead role, which would make him appear to have been favoured by the one-time head of the Funky Bunch. He shows an affinity for the decidedly average, ensuring that everything here will be forgotten mere days after you have watched it. And I speak from experience, having already watched the sequel (stay tuned, review pending) while constantly confusing this with Back In Action.

Wahlberg is as Wahlberg is. I am not sure anyone would consider themselves a big fan of the star nowadays, aside from maybe his immediate family, but he at least feels like a decent casting choice here. Monaghan is unsurprisingly left with a bit less to do, but she is still able to have fun in a few scenes that allow her to actively participate. Colletti and Crosby are both okay, Maggie Q plays a character unable to surprise viewers due to the fact that she is played by Maggie Q, and Ciaran Hinds is effectively heavy-handed and gruffly menacing as the villain with a very strong motivation for getting his best employee back.

I can’t deny that I had some fun with this, and a couple of the action beats were more fun than any of the attempts at comedy. I won’t ever rewatch it though, and it is just one more piece of Mark Wahlberg “streaming content” to put in the big pile that already includes the likes of Spenser Confidential, Arthur The King, and Play Dirty, to name just the first lot that sprung to mind.

6/10

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Prime Time: Play Dirty (2025)

Another attempt to successfully adapt some of the "Parker" books, written by Donald E. Westlake, into something that could be viewed as a profitable movie property, Play Dirty has the bonus of being directed by Shane Black, who also worked with Charles Mondry and Anthony Bagarozzi to create the screenplay. Unfortunately, it's the Shane Black of recent years, and not peak Shane Black. And he's decided to give himself a challenge by putting Mark Wahlberg in the main role.

Parker (Wahlberg) is involved in a heist that ends well, until his team is killed off by someone who betrays them. Aiming to get another payday lined up, as well as some revenge, Parker ends up helping Zen (Rosa Salazar) with a planned robbery that will once again get him targeted by the powerful and dangerous Lozini (Tony Shalhoub). Lozini has his goons, but Parker has Zen, Grofield (LaKeith Stanfield), Ed and Brenda (Keegan-Michael Key and Claire Lovering), and Stan (Chai Hansen). And he aims to stay one or two steps ahead of everyone else.

This should be great. It's a perfect marriage of material and writer-director. So the fact that it isn't feels like a confirmation that things started to go wrong when the casting decisions were made. Wahlberg can be good in movie roles, and I've enjoyed him in many other features over the years, but it has become harder and harder to view him as some kind of cheeky charmer with every opportunity to be reminded of how he puts himself across in everyday life. Not that Play Dirty necessarily wants the character to be viewed that way, but, then again, the film doesn't ever really settle on what it wants.

This is a mess, disappointingly inconsistent as it lurches from one unsteady set-piece to the next. Parker is sometimes ready to quip and wink at others, sometimes just intent on being dead-eyed and murderous. The characters around him have the potential to be a fun mix, but most of them are either underused or not used in the right way. This should have been a home run for Shane Black. He barely avoids a strike out.

Salazar is a great fit for her role, and arguably the highlight of the film. Other standouts include Hansen, Chukwudi Iwuji (who plays someone caught up in the unfolding scheme), and Nat Wolff as one of the main generals to Lozini. That maybe tells you all you need to know. Wahlberg has a bit of presence, but no charisma, Stanfield is crying out to be allowed to have more fun with his role, and both Key and Lovering seem to have been picked for one scene that makes decent use of them.

There are similarities between bad action movies and bad comedies. Cast the wrong person in the lead and you're scuppered. Punchlines aren't effective if nobody cares about the setups. And you can't cover up your mistakes by simply making things louder and busier on the way to a weak and completely mishandled ending. Play Dirty is a bad action movie, but it occasionally mixes things up by also being a bad comedy. The opening sequence is decent, and had me getting my hopes up for the rest of the film, but it quickly goes downhill from there.

I think it's unlikely to happen, but I'd love to see Shane Black take things down a notch and bring us a stripped-down and low-budget detective film for his next feature. Something that would sit nicely alongside his best work, but also sticks to a grittier tone that might still surprise his fans. 

3/10

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Prime Time: Arthur The King (2024)

Based on the true story of an adventure racer who ended up with an extra member in his team, a dog he named Arthur, this is exactly the kind of film you expect it to be, although it has the added bonus of Mark Wahlberg in the lead role constantly making you think about the wonderful "Wahlberg talks to animals" sketch from SNL.

Wahlberg is Michael Light, a man who has gone his entire adventure racing career without ever getting a gold medal. In fact, his last attempt was quite the disaster, based on the fact that he pushed his team too hard without listening to the advice of others. Some years have passed since then though, and Michael wants one last shot at glory. He wants to put together a team, he needs sponsors, and he wants a win. He gets a tentative sponsor, but they insist that his team includes his old team member, Leo (Simu Liu), someone who has made the most of social media and viral marketing. His other choices end up being Chik (Ali Suliman), a man who was dropped from his last team due to a knee injury, and Olivia (Nathalie Emmanuel), a climber not necessarily wanting to make that her main discipline, but urged that way by her successful father. The race is tough, the team need to work together to overcome the usual obstacles (in the environment and in their own different approaches), but things start to improve when a stray dog starts to accompany them on their gruelling journey.

Based on the book by Mikael Lindnord, this has a screenplay by Michael Brandt (who has had huge success with a number of TV projects in recent years) and is directed by Simon Cellan Jones (who has a background in TV before a more recent move into movies, and specifically Wahlberg movies). Both do competent work, and they certainly convey the impressive distance and scale of the challenge facing the racing teams in the movie. There's one vertiginous set-piece, but it's otherwise pretty grounded and standard stuff, with those involved quite rightly banking on viewers being won over by the bond developed with the dog at the centre of the story.

Wahlberg does his usual Wahlberg stuff, although there are a couple of pleasantly surprising moments here that have his character admitting to being wearied and sometimes not the person who knows best in every situation, and Liu does a good job of keeping up alongside him and explaining how they can still do well enough for themselves even if a win evades them. Emmanuel is convincing in her part, as is Suliman, and they certainly do a great job as separate elements who can work together as an efficient and determined team. I was surprised by how much of the focus stayed on the team, thinking that Arthur would join them and have his impact noticed sooner, but, never fear, the dog (played by a canine named Ukai) is certainly made to feel like the key cast member he is when he gets more directly involved in the storyline.

Very predictable, but that's not a big deal when you're watching a true story in movie form, and surprisingly downbeat in one or two scenes, Arthur The King does enough to make it a decent enough choice for those wanting something simple and ultimately satisfying. I could rattle off a number of other "talented animal bonds with humans" movies that I prefer, but this was far from a terrible way to spend part of my evening.

6/10

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Netflix And Chill: Me Time (2022)

A slick comedy star vehicle from John Hamburg, the director of Along Came Polly, I Love You, Man, Why Him?, and a few other projects (in film and TV), you will probably already know whether or not you want to watch Me Time when you see that it stars Mark Wahlberg and Kevin Hart. I wasn't exactly rushing to see it, but I am glad I did. It's silly, it's predictable, it allows Wahlberg and Hart to feel characters that are very much within the normal range of their performances, but it's also a decent bit of fun.

Hart plays Sonny Fisher, a loving and happy husband who loves organising everything for his kids (Dashiell, played by Che Tafari, and Ava, played by Amentii Sledge) while his successful wife (Maya, played by Regina Hall) keeps developing her career. It's time for Sonny to have some "me time" though, something his wife encourages when he is asked by his old friend, Huck (Wahlberg), to join him for a massive birthday celebration trip. I am sure you can pretty much write the rest of this. Sonny joins Huck, things get messy, and there are also some attempts by Huck and Sonny to recapture glorious moments from their youth.

I'm not sure if writer-director Hamburg actually put any thought into this, or whether he instead just fed some details into a program that auto-generates modern mainstream comedies. It feels like the latter, with the amusing set-pieces, the occasional gross (but very tame) moment, and a finale that feels rushed and unearned, but maybe that makes me an even bigger sucker for laughing as often as I did. I didn't laugh all the way through it, and I often rolled my eyes at the same time as I laughed, but the film basically worked on me in the way it was intended to.

Hart does what he usually does. He gets stressed out by things and rages ineffectively against them. Wahlberg is the one able to push him into action, and he does that by playing the standard Wahlberg character, one lacking any self-awareness or worries about the possibility of anything going wrong. Tafari and Sledge are both very good in their smaller roles, and I always like to see Hall onscreen, even if she's relegated to really just being "the wife" for this film. Andrew Santino is a lot of fun, playing another family man who goes from zero to one hundred as soon as he decides to join in with the partying, and Ilia Isorelýs Paulino steals a couple of scenes as a driver who ends up involved in a very fun set-piece about halfway through the movie. Jimmy O. Yang and Shira Gross are also fairly amusing, and there's a fun celebrity cameo to enjoy, as well as very small roles for John Amos, Anna Maria Horsford, Diane Delano, and one or two others.

Although advertised as a film about someone finally getting to have some fun again, with the risks that can entail (depending on what the fun involves), it's actually your standard tale of someone misunderstanding a situation so badly that it jeopardises their relationship with loved ones, which leads to a bad situation that needs fully remedied before the end credits roll. While the stars are just lazily repeating themselves, there's still fun to be had with their interplay, the supporting cast, and the strangely comforting factor of it all being so obviously designed to "preach to the choir". I doubt I'll ever rewatch it, but I wasn't in pain while it was on (and at 101-minutes, it also gets a bonus point for not feeling unnecessarily bloated).

6/10

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Netflix And Chill: The Departed (2006)

Although I had seen The Departed before, and I watched it more than once (between a cinema visit and viewings when I picked it up to add to my movie collection), I realised that my last viewing of it was over a decade ago. So now was as good a time as any to give it a revisit, and once the end credits rolled I knew that I wouldn't leave it over a decade until my next viewing. Because The Departed is an absolute triumph for everyone involved, and serves as another reminder that not all remakes are inherently bad (although I also need to rewatch Infernal Affairs soon, which I've ALSO not seen for well over a decade).

Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon play Billy Costigan and Colin Sullivan, respectively. Both are cops, but both are very different, and they don't know one another (which is very important for the plot). Costigan is judged to have the right background and character to be used as an undercover agent, tasked with the job of getting close to a criminal kingpin named Costello (Jack Nicholson). That's difficult enough, but Costello also has a cop who helps to keep him one step ahead of most investigations. And that cop is Sullivan. As things start to heat up for Costello, everything gets much more dangerous and intense for Costigan and Sullivan, and it looks likely that things will end up with even more names being added to the list of the recently departed. 

Director Martin Scorsese has good form when it comes to picking material to remake, having also done an absolutely stellar job with his version of Cape Fear. He arguably has stronger material to work with here, and an even more impressive roster throughout the cast (not to cast any aspersions on those he cast in Cape Fear at all, this just has more roles available due to the bigger canvas being painted on), and the script by William Monahan adapts the 2002 original with skill and care for each member of the cast being able to shine in their role. I'd still recommend that anyone watching, and enjoying, this film should check out the original, but this is so well reshaped towards the Boston setting and cast that I feel it's actually the superior telling of the tale (only just though). And it's worth noting that I have yet to watch the other two movies in the Infernal Affairs trilogy, despite owning the boxset for a number of years.

Nicholson may be a bit daffy, perhaps giving off an air of someone having too much fun in a very dangerous situation, but I think his performance works very well. He is a thug who at times tries to wear a cloak of civility, and he is always uncomfortable doing so, making him almost desperate for his own reign to come to an end. Damon is excellent, a really sneaky sonofabitch who you want to see get his comeuppance, but also end up thrilled by as he constantly pulls out audacious moves to keep his role a secret from those around him. DiCaprio owns the movie though, playing someone who is both tough and brave without ever taking anything for granted. You somehow never forget that he is the good guy, even during the scenes that have him participating in some awful criminal activities. Elsewhere, Vera Farmiga is superb as a police psychologist who becomes strongly attached to both men, all while remaining oblivious to them actually working on opposite sides of the law, Ray Winstone is once again a very convincing tough guy, and both Anthony Anderson and James Badge Dale are a couple of cops who may end up being played like pawns by those who know much more than they do. Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen, and Mark Wahlberg are cast appropriately, playing characters who know more than the young leads, and both Baldwin and Wahlberg (always a main choice for any Boston cop role) bring a lot of humour to the film, trading insults, riling people up, and happy to physically assault anyone they think isn't taking any of their major investigations as seriously as they should. There are also great supporting turns from David O'Hara, Mark Rolston, Kevin Corrigan, and Kristen Dalton.

As with pretty much every Scorsese movie, another main character is the soundtrack, with "Gimme Shelter" and "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" being the two to make the biggest impact. You also get the expected directorial flourishes, a load of profanity, and outbursts of violence that will make you wince. The final 20-30 minutes is an extended bloodbath, with every loose end being tied up by a number of fatal shootings and sudden deaths, and even those used to movie violence may be taken aback by scenes that seemingly dance from one major death to another.

Once again, I want to make one final clarification that I think the original film is superb. I NEED to revisit it. I used to have some problems with The Departed, mainly with the tone of a couple of the performances (Nicholson and Wahlberg sometimes seeming a bit out of place with the outbursts that made me laugh). I no longer have those problems. It all just works for me. While I expect few people to rate this as highly as I do, most should really like it, especially if you're already a fan of the director and/or stars. I now view it as a modern masterpiece. It's perfect, and I could happily rewatch it again right now.

10/10

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Uncharted (2022)

I am not a massive gamer. I am too old and I was never that good at videogaming when I was a kid. But improved technology has delivered better and better videogame experiences over the years, including games that I have found absolutely hit the sweet spot for me. The Resident Evil series has always been an all-time favourite. I really like the more recent Tomb Raider games. Pinball, both real and in videogame form, has long been my jam (despite my enthusiasm being unmatched by my skill level). And the Uncharted games. With gameplay that mixes in some great puzzles, extended and intense action sequences, and often a hint of the supernatural, I can play and replay these games as long as the company keeps making them.

Other fans of the game may understand why I was hesitant to see the movie after the trailer dropped. Tom Holland, as much as I like him, seems very young for the role of our hero, Nathan Drake. The same goes for a Mark Wahlberg, playing mentor/friend/untrustworthy Sully. But I knew I had to give it a go sometime. So here we are.

The plot is fairly simple. Drake is hired by Sully to help him recover a legendary treasure. It can be found with the help of two ornate crosses. Unfortunately, the other cross is in the hands of Chloe Frazer (Sophia Ali). And they are being pursued by Braddock (Tati Gabrielle), as well as a number of other people on the payroll of the determined Santiago Moncada (Antonio Banderas). What follows is an adventure full of brainteasers, booby-traps, and some impressive parkour. And a very cool set-piece lifted from one of the main games that has our hero struggling to get back to an airplane he has been rudely ejected from.

Directed by the fairly dependable Ruben Fleischer, who seems to have a knack for turning something very silly into something that is at least solidly entertaining, Uncharted is a bit better than I expected it to be. It still suffers from the casting, which is perhaps more down to my attachment to those videogame characters than anything else, but it moves nicely from one sequence to the next, building up the scale of the action until you get a finale that is as entertaining as it is ridiculous.

It’s unsurprising to see a number of different names credited with writing the screenplay, but Rafe Judkins, Art Marcum, and Matt Holloway are the main ones I will mention, with the latter two having worked together, for better or worse, on a number of blockbusters released over the past decade or so.

Once you adjust to the fact that this is a younger, slightly inexperienced, Nathan Drake then it becomes easier to enjoy Tom Holland’s performance. He is a likeable presence, and has always managed to impress with his physical work onscreen. Wahlberg is Wahlberg in most of his movies, but he is also easier to enjoy as the film plays out, helped by some fun dialogue and a constant sense of weariness as things conspire to keep him from the treasure he knows is so close. Gabrielle is a badass, and an excellent one, and Ali is good as a someone who may be vital to finding the treasure, but may also be looking around constantly for a way to escape with a bigger reward. Banderas is as smooth and charming as ever, and Steven Waddington creates a few laughs as a villain with a Scottish accent that our hero finds impossible to understand.

All in all, this is good fun. The special effects are nicely done, with some big sequences being visually impressive without feeling overly busy, the score feels like a nice balance between movie music and something in line with the games, and there is one of the best fan-service cameos I have seen in a while. I could happily rewatch this, and I hope we get the sequel that is so obviously set up in the post-credits sequence.

7/10

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Noir-vember: Max Payne (2008)

All the signs were there that I wasn't going to be a big fan of Max Payne. I wasn't even very aware of the videogame when it was popular (all I knew is that "bullet time" played a part). Directed by John Moore, who has a filmography not exactly stuffed with classics. Written by Beau Thorne, someone who doesn't seem to have written any other features. And starring Mark Wahlberg, an actor who really depends on a director and cast helping him to do his best.

Wahlberg is Payne, a cop who is more dangerous than he used to be thanks to the death, a few years ago, of his wife and child. Payne likes to go out at night and take care of criminals without the hassle of arresting them and going through any paperwork. His nocturnal activities put him in the company of people who are enjoying a fun new drug. Fun until it makes the user hallucinate some scenario that leads to their sudden death. It's a great product though, apparently, and Payne will come up against a variety of enemies as he sets out to destroy the supply chain. He might also come closer to finding out just why his wife and child were killed.

I really hoped that I would be able to list SOME positives here, considering how often I can find the simplest pleasures in films that are otherwise not really worth giving time to. Unfortunately, that's not the case. There's not one thing here that actually works. The script is a messy mass of clichés, which could have worked if the design, characters, and tone of the film had been managed better. Moore directs with the approach of someone who is actually stringing together videogame scenes without any need to worry about the plotting in between. Are there moments that look pretty cool? Yes. I'd say there were about four or five. You do get the slo-mo bullets, and you also get some demons that appear to the drug addicts who are about to quickly shuffle off this mortal coil. Those moments are the only ones I am willing to acknowledge as being remotely considered highlights.

Wahlberg is very . . . Wahlbergian in the lead role. He's tough. He scowls a lot. He's a tortured soul who wants to make the world a better place. It's a horrible performance from him, despite the fact that he's a potentially great fit for the role. The supporting cast has some better faces, but none of them get good enough material to work with. Olga Kurylenko is a welcome addition to any film, as I have said on many occasions, but she's not onscreen for long enough. Mila Kunis is similarly under-used, and her character is not one that plays to her strengths. Beau Bridges pops in and out of the proceedings until an inevitably strong presence in the finale, and I guess he tries his best, but there are better small turns from Donal Logue, Amaury Nolasco, and Ludacris.

It lacks any decent writing or characters, which isn't entirely unexpected when you go into a movie based on a videogame, but it also lacks enough moments that showcase some cool FX work, doesn't have any memorable set-pieces, and seems unable to move in any way from the plodding and sombre tone that you don’t really want from a lightweight videogame movie.

3/10

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Scoob! (2020)

An attempt to give the Scooby-Doo brand a shot in the arm, Scoob! may fall a bit short for fans due to two main points. And one of those is the fact that the brand never feels like it needs a shot in the arm (and this is from someone who quite enjoyed the live-action movies).

The story starts with Shaggy (voiced by Will Forte) meeting a little Scooby (voiced by Frank Welker, so that is a plus). The two then meet the rest of "Mystery, Inc" before that was formed - Fred (Zac Efron), Velma (Gina Rodriguez), and Daphne (Amanda Seyfried). Years pass by, a montage shows the gang doing what they do (in a wonderfully-recreated copy of the opening titles of the cartoon I grew up with), and life is good. Which makes it a perfect time for the group to be split up, with Shaggy and Scooby meeting the Blue Falcon (Mark Wahlberg), and possibly helping to foil some nefarious plan by Dick Dastardly (Jason Isaacs).

You might have already surmised the other main problem people may have with Scoob! Yes, as seems to be the norm now for companies wanting to get lots and lots of money coming in . . . this film is also an attempt to create some kind of bizarre Hanna-Barbera movie universe. You get Blue Falcon and company, you get Dick Dastardly and Muttley, and you get a small role for Captain Caveman (and whoever thought Tracy Morgan was the best choice to voice one of my favourite cartoon characters was so far wrong that I hope they spend many sleepless nights thinking about what they have done).

The script, written by a few different scribes, works in the first third, generally, before trying to fit the gang into a wider movie universe. Then it all goes to pot, one or two witty, meta lines aside.

The same may be said of the direction from Tony Cervone, although his hands are tied by the script. But everything becomes a long, slow slide downhill once the main mystery comes into play.

The voice voice cast generally do well. It's a shame that nobody offered Lillard the chance to return to the role he made his own, but Forte doesn't do too bad as an alternative. Efron, Rodriguez, and Seyfried are a good match for their characters, Welker does his usual excellent work (which really goes without saying), and Isaacs has a lot of fun as Dick Dastardly. Unfortunately, the rest don't really fit in, be it Whalberg and his companions (voiced by Ken Jeong and Kiersey Clemons), or that unforgivable mis-casting for the Captain Caveman role. And let's not mention the clanging Simon Cowell cameo.

Scooby-Doo isn't a property that you should be able to mess up so easily, certainly not in animated form. But the creative forces behind this film manage it.

Consider my rating generous, with at least one point just for the sweet glow of nostalgia.

4/10
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Netflix And Chill: Mile 22 (2018)

The opening of Mile 22 is a pretty good one. A black ops team (I guess that is the best term to use) bust their way into a house full of potential terrorists, take control of the situation, and then lose control when an extra baddie starts shooting from his hiding place. That means every terrorist needs to be shot, just before the house explodes. The ending is also pretty good. Not completely unexpected, but it's nice to see just how far they take things. I won't detail it here because I try to avoid spoilers. Suffice to say, it wasn't as simplistic and jingoistic as I expected. Unfortunately, the many scenes in between the beginning and the end aren't as good.

Mark Wahlberg plays James Silva, the leader of the team (because of course he is). Their latest mission is to get some dangerous explosive powder off the streets. It's so powerful that Wahlberg compares it to Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined. They end up striking a deal with one person who can help them, a police officer named Li Noor (Iko Uwais). Li just wants his transportation out of the country guaranteed. A lot of people want to stop that from happening, turning an urban area into a small war zone in the process.

Director Peter Berg seems to have found his comfort zone in the last five years or so, helming action thrillers that allow Wahlberg to continue his run of tough guy hero roles. It seems to be working for him, for both of them, and people who have enjoyed any of their films together will continue to enjoy their work. It's just a shame that Berg cannot work as well with all of his cast members, but I'll get back to that shortly.

The script, by Lea Carpenter, does enough to keep the information flowing without interrupting the flow of action sequences. At a near-perfect runtime of about 94 minutes, the pacing is excellent, and I can't imagine anyone after a fix of gunfights, martial arts, and military hardware, being too disappointed by this.

Fans of Uwais might be disappointed though, especially when they realise that Berg directs hand to hand combat sequences as if he'd been given advice from Paul W. S. Anderson. Uwais does well in his role, and he gets to show off his fighting prowess in one or two main set-pieces. It's just very unfortunate that his physical work is undermined by the horrible camerawork and editing. Although not perfect, the gunfights are filmed better, which helps the performances from Wahlberg, Lauren Cohan, Ronda Rousey, and Sam Medina, and the other supporting players. Cohan fares particularly well, convincing as a tough team member who can hold her own alongside Wahlberg. You also get a supporting role for John Malkovich. He's almost completely wasted, but I always like seeing Malkovich in a movie.

Mile 22 may be a bit of a mess, but at least it's an entertaining one. It would have been much better with someone other than Wahlberg in the lead role, which is something I can say about many of his movies, but all of the other people involved help to make up for that. As do those scenes that bookend the bulk of the main plot.

6/10

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Filmstruck Friday: Three Kings (1999)

Three Kings remains one of the best films from director David O. Russell, helped by a great cast and a fun script that generally updates Kelly's Heroes and adds more relevant politics and modern views on warfare. It's a film infused, at least initially, with cinematic cool that manages to walk a tightrope by sprinkling cool moments here and there without ever making the environment or war itself seem cool in the slightest.

George Clooney is Archie Gates, a soldier in Iraq as the Gulf War starts to wind down. He ends up leading three men (MarkWahlberg, Ice Cube, and Spike Jonze) on a hunt for gold stolen from Kuwait. They want to steal the gold for themselves, allowing them a very comfortable life when they get back home to America. But as they set out to execute their plan they encounter a number of people who need their help. Trying to ignore them becomes more difficult after they witness what can only be desribed as a ruthless execution.

Based on a story written by John Ridley, Three Kings is almost a perfect look at machismo and how easy it can be to undercut that machismo. The biggest and strongest soldier can be caught and tortured, can be turned into a weak invalid by one bullet, and can be killed at any moment, by a landmine or a gun-wielding enemy, or even an ally making a mistake. The dialogue succinctly captures the essence of the central characters and how the war has sharpened their senses in some ways and yet also dulled them in others. There's no room for complacency, but that's not to say that complacency is something they are never guilty of.

Clooney gives one of his many winning performances, a perfect fit as the guy who comes in and takes over leadership of the three men (who only know where the gold is because they happened to find a map stuck in the posterior of a prisoner). Ice Cube is also very good, and Wahlberg and Jonze both do well, the former playing someone who can posture with the best of them and the latter playing someone wishing he could posture like his buddy. The supporting cast also features Cliff Curtis, Nora Dunn, Jamie Kennedy, Said Taghmaoui, Mykelti Williamson, Holt McCallany, and Judy Greer, and not one of them puts a foot wrong. Not even Jamie Kennedy.

Not quite all things to all people, Three Kings at least gives it a damn good try. It has enough standard soldiering to please those looking for a war movie, it has a nice line in wry humour to please those after a particular style of comedic entertainment, and it has enought thought-provoking moments regarding the politics of war, in general, and the situation in Iraq to please those who want a bit of depth to their slick entertainment.

20 years old next year, this holds up as a fantastic modern war movie, one you could nicely line up alongside Buffalo Soldiers and Jarhead for a smart and amusing triple-bill that reflects on the madness of modern life in wartime without taking anything away from the individuals affected by it.

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Daddy's Home 2 (2017)

Let me start this review by saying that I enjoyed Daddy's Home. Yes, I know the comedy banter between Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg isn't something that many people admit to enjoying (aside from their best work in The Other Guys) but they made me laugh many times in the tale of a sensitive stepfather (Brad, played by Ferrell) being infuriated by the alpha male biological father (Dusty, played by Wahlberg) swanning back into the lives of his children and disrupting their lives.

This sequel finds the extended family living a fairly harmonious life, even if there are still some resentments that hide below the surface. Brad and Dusty take turns with activities, Linda Cardellini (playing Sara, mother to the children, and Brad's partner) seems happy with the situation, and everyone seems settled. Except for the fact that they're not, something that becomes evident when young Megan (Scarlett Estevez) decides to tell people that she hates moving back and forth for Christmas festivities. This leads to one big Christmas being planned, a day with everyone in the same place and the kids not having to move from one family to another. And it's going to be even more special, because Dusty's father (Kurt, played by Mel Gibson) is going to join them. As is Brad's father (Don, played by John Lithgow).

Most of the main players return here, with director Sean Anders also co-writing the script once again (also with John Morris, but no Brian Burns this time around), and it's clear from the early scenes that this is an easy, comfortable, comedy sequel for all involved. You won't find any real depth here, and you won't find anything plausible, but you will get a cast having fun, and a number of amusing moments.

Gibson is there to be an even more toxic male than Wahlberg was in the first film, while Lithgow seems to be, for the most part, even more sensitive than Ferrell's character. This adds plenty of friction, which creates more comedic situations, and then leads to a third act that features both John Cena and plenty of horrible, unearned, attempts at emotional manipulation. All of the male leads get to have lots of fun. Cardellini, on the other hand, is simply left to witness an unfolding sequence of catastrophic events while doing nothing but feel insecure when positioned close to Alessandra Ambrosio (playing Karen, the woman now with Wahlberg's character).

Daddy's Home 2 is a rather weak film, in terms of the art of cinema. It's clumsy, painfully obvious, and suffers even more during the times when it tries to turn Brad into Clark Griswold. It kind of works as a sequel, it fails as a Christmas film (mainly because a lot of the better moments feel as if they have been cribbed from better movies), and it's the worst one yet to pair up Ferrell and Wahlberg.

Oh, I still laughed though. There were quite a few times when I laughed aloud. Hard. For all of its failings, and there are oh so many, it still manages to get the comedy right on many occasions. And that's a good thing for a comedy film. Which is why I still rate this as above average. Fans of Ferrell will find enough to enjoy here. Everyone else should avoid this like a spiked bowl of eggnog.

6/10

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Transformers: Age Of Extinction (2014)

Feel free to check out my overview of the other Transformers movies right here.

And so we get to the fourth live-action Transformers movie from director Michael Bay, and anyone believing that this outing will be oh-so-different from his previous outings may well find themselves angry at being suckered once again as the end credits roll. Of course, those knowing exactly what they're letting themselves in for should come out smiling. I'm not saying that anyone WILL believe that this robo-flick is going to be any different from the others. I'm just giving fair warning.

Set some years after the events of the last movie, both Autobots and Decepticons are being treated as hostile aliens by shady government types (namely Kelsey Grammer and his right hand man, played by Titus Welliver). They're also being researched by Stanley Tucci and his many workers, in an attempt to make the best use of that incredible technology, and to make lots of money. Meanwhile, Mark Wahlberg is an inventor who hasn't made any breakthrough in the years that he's spent chasing his dream, leaving him with a seriously unhealthy bank balance and a seriously exasperated daughter (Nicola Peltz). All that looks set to change when he finds a run-down truck that turns out to be Optimus Prime, bringing the potential for great reward, and also great danger.

Love or hate the guy, and so many fall into the latter camp, it's hard to think of anyone who does BIG action set-pieces as well as Michael Bay. Why choreograph a fight between some robots when you can choreograph it in mid-air while the robots are transforming to overcome obstacles? Why put your main characters in some mild peril when you can put them through some physics-defying trauma that works the stunt performers and FX team to way beyond normal? Bay always thinks big, which is why these movies work well, for most of the time.

I've enjoyed all of the Transformers films, to some degree, because they all supply what I want to see, when it comes to large robots battling one another and transforming in cool ways. Ehren Kruger, back on the script-writing duties here, doesn't fix a formula that ain't broke. The human characters are still pretty thin, although Grammer, Welliver and Tucci all fare much better than John Turturro did in the previous movies, and the focus is on the spectacular set-pieces, as it should be.

Wahlberg isn't too bad in the main role, it's just a shame that the inventor side of his character is overshadowed by the single dad side. He's over-protective of Peltz, and that becomes more noticeable when they're joined by her boyfriend (Jack Reynor). Oh, and Reynor is playing an Irish lad for no discernible reason that I can think of, apart from allowing Wahlberg to then call him "Lucky Charms" throughout the movie. Seriously, either allow the guy to use his own accent or get, hmmmm, an Irish actor. T.J. Miller is good fun in a small role, Binbing Li gets to kick some ass, and Sophia Myles is underused, but always worth having in any movie, in my opinion (dear Hollywood, put Sophia Myles in more movies).

Optimus Prime is meaner than he has been previously, with good reason, and he's joined by Bumblebee, Hound, Drift, Crosshairs and Brains in his latest battle with Galvatron (essentially Megatron in a different guise), all while avoiding the attention of a robo-bounty hunter named Lockdown. Yeah, most of these names mean very little to me either, but I thought I'd mention some of the main robo-characters for fans who know much more about this universe than I do. And there are dinobots. How could I almost forget to mention the glorious dinobots? They may not get too much time on screen, about 15 minutes at most, but they're pretty damn impressive when they appear.

There are moments in which things pitch over into the ridiculous, including a high-wire sequence that proves that Wahlberg may be the most well-balanced man on the planet, literally, but this is a movie that's never too far away from another fantastic bit of eye-candy or impressive stunt work, or both. It's a bit overlong, at over two and a half hours (the longest entry in the series), but it's almost perfectly paced, meaning that it doesn't overstay its welcome. Well, not by too much.

And there are dinobots.

7/10

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2 Guns (2013)

Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg play two men who work together to rob a bank in this enjoyable action comedy. They aim to take the money, about $3M, that's been placed there by a major drug dealer (Papi, played by Edward James Olmos), but instead end up with over $40M. The money doesn't belong to Papi. It belongs to someone much more dangerous. As the situation gets worse for our two leads, they end up finding out more about each other, including the fact that both are actually undercover agents working for different organisations.

Written by Blake Masters, based on some graphic novels by Steve Grant, 2 Guns is a fun time from start to finish. It may not be as action-packed as some might like, but it has enough beats to allow itself the title of action comedy. Director Baltasay Kormakur seems to rely on the charisma of his two leads, something I have no problem with when they work together as well as they do. Stylistically, he seems to take a cue from Tony Scott, although there isn't as much hyperactive editing. It's more about the sun beating down, some slo-mo replays here and there, and plenty of little moments to constantly remind the viewer that the two leads are badass.

Washington and Wahlberg are both fantastic, turning in performances that really play to their strengths. The former is cool and tough, as usual, while the latter does his abrasive, fast-talking routine once again. Edward James Olmos is okay as Papi, but it's the other supporting players that help to make the whole thing more watchable. Namely James Marsden, as Wahlberg's commanding officer, and Bill Paxton, as an agent working for yet another American organisation. Paula Patton isn't bad either, and it's always good to see Fred Ward onscreen, even if he's only there for a minute or two.

There aren't too many surprises here, although there are one or two twists, and the fun definitely stems more from the journey than the destination. The finale isn't as good as it could/should be, yet it's still enjoyable enough because of that ongoing banter between the two leads. Thankfully, the main set-pieces that come along beforehand are all well executed, and the build-up to each sequence is nicely played out. Which all amounts to enough to make me like it. I enjoyed watching it for the first time recently, and I wouldn't mind watching it again at some point.

7/10

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