Netflix And Chill: Van Helsing (2004)

Sometimes I have to wonder about myself. My thoughts on Van Helsing are a prime example of just why I have to do that. I remembered quite enjoying this movie. I own the 2-disc special edition released years ago. I have even defended it, considering how much I enjoyed the general plot points used to bring together the main Universal horror icons. But I just rewatched it. Everyone else was right when they kept telling me how awful this film is.

Hugh Jackman plays the titular character, an action hero with the might of the church behind him (although they equally frown upon his methods, and deny his position as their main soldier). He ends up sent to Transylvania, accompanied by the much more timid Carl (David Wenham), as a certain Count Dracula (Richard Roxburgh) seems intent on finding a way to create a whole brood of baby bloodsuckers. Dracula needs a monster, of course (Frankenstein's creation being played here by Shuler Hensley), but he also tries to experiment with a werewolf or two. Meanwhile, Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale) does her best to keep thwarting a supernatural enemy who seems to have a keen interest in her family.

There are things to enjoy here, and I'll mention some of them soon, but it's worth noting that this is a film so awful that it pretty much derailed the directorial career of Stephen Sommers, a white American man. Do you know how hard you have to fail to have your movie career derailed when you're a white American man? You get about three attempts for everyone lone chance a woman would get. Okay, Sommers did direct a couple of other features after this, and seems to have something in development at the moment, but he's far from the celebrated figure he was when helming two fun Mummy movies.

Those in front of the camera have generally fared better, perhaps helped by the fact that people seem to have (rightly) wiped this film from their memories. Jackman has been busy in many better movies, although he doesn't do a terrible job here as an action hero version of the famous character. Beckinsale has kept fans happy in a number of other vampire movies, of course, as well as a number of lesser-known, but fun, films. Roxburgh seemed to realise how bad he was at picking blockbuster projects (just look at his choices between 2000-2004), Wenham continued to move between bigger and smaller projects with ease, and Hensley isn't someone I can say I've noticed in anything else. 

It's almost impossible to describe Van Helsing as anything other than an ugly movie, and that's a descriptor it works hard to earn. The sets and production design are quite gorgeous, as are many of the costumes and the many props, but shame on Sommers for putting faith in computer effects that weren't yet ready to deliver anything close to what he must have so happily envisioned in his mind. The werewolf moments are the worst, but it's also not good when the brides of Dracula morph from the real actresses (one being the wonderful Elena Anaya) to clumsy CGI. Then we have action sequences that are overdone and ridiculous in a way that makes everything unforgivably boring. It's hard to enjoy any spectacle when it all feels as if it has been created in a computer-enabled vacuum.

I like the Alan Silvestri score, that is the other main plus, and I do like the core idea at the heart of the plot, but it's hard to think of anything else I can be positive about. Kevin J. O'Connor is a fun Igor, and there's still something entertaining about the opening sequences (one presented in line with the Universal classics from the 1930s, the other featuring a bizarre interpretation of Mr. Hyde, voiced by Robbie Coltrane), but I would have to encourage people to stay away from this one. It's a lot of loud noises and overfilled scenes that ultimately lead to nothing really worth your time. But everyone else knew that for the past two decades. 

4/10

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The Mummy Returns (2001)

Pretty much everyone returns for this enjoyable sequel to the 1999 supernatural adventure flick, and that's a large part of the appeal. Introducing a character named the Scorpion King (played by Dwayne Johnson, still being billed as The Rock at this point), it may suffer from trying to stir in a few too many new ingredients, but it certainly tries to keep the focus on simple entertainment throughout.

We start with a prologue that explains the origin of the Scorpion King and his army, then it's time to join the O'Connell family as they explore more ancient ruins. Rick (Brendan Fraser) and Evelyn (Rachel Weisz) now have a curious young son, Alex (Freddie Boath), with them. They find the Bracelet of Anubis, which locks on to the arm of young Alex when he tries it on. The bracelet shows him a vision of the modern location of the Scorpion King, where an oasis and pyramid now stand, and that means Alex is then of great interest to people once again trying to resurrect Imhotep (Arnold Vosloo). This includes his love, Meela AKA Anck-su-namun (Patricia Velasquez). Alex is kidnapped, the O'Connells end up in hot pursuit, and someone will probably end up fighting the Scorpion King, otherwise that whole prologue would seem a bit pointless.

It's Stephen Sommers once again taking on the writing and directing duties here, and he has a lot of fun with many of the action set-pieces. The Mummy Returns may be many things, but it's never dull. It is, however, just not able to recapture quite the perfect mix of fun and spookiness that the first film had. This is partly to do with the "let's throw more of everything in and that should be great" approach, and partly to do with the fact that the CGI on display here feels even worse than the CGI in the preceding film. Sommers clearly thought computers were already at a stage where they could create anything onscreen that he could envision. They weren't. The actual Scorpion King himself remains a real eye-sore, and comes along after an extended encounter with some fierce, undead, pygmy creatures that feels like a decent idea executed terribly (scaling back what viewers could actually see, and using some puppetry, would have made that sequence much more effective).

Fraser and Weisz continue to work really well together, and Weisz also gets to do a lot more fighting this time around (as well as take part in some poor flashback scenes that show her in a previous life). Young Boath does well enough, cocky enough until he is reminded of the fact that he is often in the company of adults who wouldn't think twice about actually causing him harm. Vosloo and Velasquez both do solid work, and The Rock makes a good impression before he's replaced by a 32-bit videogame representation of his character. John Hannah is also back, and still a lot of fun, as is Oded Fehr, and you get fun supporting roles for Alun Armstrong and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, playing villains, and Shaun Parkes, as someone who might be able to help the O'Connells.

Although it's more of a mess, in terms of both the attempt to bulk out the thin plot and the CGI, The Mummy Returns still offers up enough solid popcorn pleasure to be a worthy successor to the first film. A lot of that is down to the cast, but the familiarity, while not necessarily breeding contempt, works against it as much as it works for it. Many people, myself included, will always have a soft spot for it though.

7/10

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The Mummy (1999)

Hmmmm, I wonder why I had the urge to revisit this movie series after recently watching Jungle Cruise. Yes, the fact that Jungle Cruise reworked that formula so well put me in mood for some more entertainment in the same vein.

Brendan Fraser stars as Rick O'Connell (feeling for all the world like Rick Dangerous, a late '80s videogame creation based on a very well-known adventure icon). Rick is the daring, reluctant hero in Stephen Sommers' entertaining blockbuster centred around the titular creature of horror infamy and, for those not averse to bombastic fun, it ain't half bad. 

The plot sees Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Omid Djalili and others on their way to the legendary city of the dead, Hamunaptra, to find a significant treasure before anyone else (with the main competition being a party led by the sly Beni, played by Kevin J. O'Connor). And then someone accidentally wakes up Imhotep (Arnold Vosloo) and everyone realises that there's more to fear in the desert than just sunstroke. 

There's nothing surprising here, nothing subtle and nothing all that believable but there is a fun action adventure with supernatural elements that should please many movie fans. Will it please fans of the old Universal classics (or even the Hammer versions)? Probably not, though it must be said that there ARE a lot of respectful little nods to past versions of the tale. Sommers directs with a focus on the sheer entertainment side of things, also emphasised in the script that he wrote, from the story worked on with Kevin Jarre and Lloyd Fonvielle.

Fraser and Weisz are two leads who fit perfectly in their roles, both very capable in different ways, and they are thrown from one set-piece to the next, with time spent here and there showing Vosloo's character growing in strength and powers. Nobody has to emote too strongly but everyone does a good enough job of acting beside the various practical and computer effects. We also get the likes of Oded Fehr, Jonathan Hyde and Erick Avari in the cast so there are at least some people on screen to do more than just run and fight stuff.

But never mind the acting anyway, there are booby traps, deadly scarab beetles and, of course, plagues - all rendered nicely enough, even if the pixel count gets uncomfortably high at times. This is a blockbuster,  and it delivers on that score. Maybe not quite the "Indiana Jones" for a new generation, it certainly tries hard with it's mix of thrills, humour and energetic action set-pieces. And the cherry on top is a typically appropriate score from Jerry Goldsmith.

8/10

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Odd Thomas (2013)

Based on a popular book by Dean R. Koontz, Odd Thomas is written and directed by Stephen Sommers, and shows that he's still capable of churning out some fine entertainment. Hey, I'm a fan of Sommers, but even I have to admit that some of his later blockbuster works don't hold a candle to the sheer b-movie fun of Deep Rising.

Anyway, let's get on with the review. Anton Yelchin is the titular character, his name really IS Odd Thomas (due to an error made while he was being registered), and he can see dead people. More than just dead people, he can also see creatures that flock around evil individuals when they know that death and horror could be on the horizon. Those creatures are known as bodachs, and Odd doesn't ever want them to know that he can see them, because if bodachs know that someone can see them then they tend to try to engineer the death of that individual. And, guess what, a whole load of bodachs have just swarmed into town with a man who is obviously planning something big. Odd tries to protect his girlfriend, Stormy (Addison Timlin), while also ensuring that everyone else stays safe. Stormy knows what Odd can see so she's happy to help as he tries to work out just what will be going down, and where. The local police chief (Willem Dafoe) also wants to help, and also knows about Odd's gift, but has to keep it a secret.

I've not read any of the Odd Thomas novels, but I have skimmed through some excerpts while reading some of Koontz's other works and the movie seems to get the tone just right. It's a very quirky piece of work, with a central character - Odd works as a short order cook as a way to enjoy some normality on a day to day basis - as likable as he is troubled. Sommers does a great job in both the scripting and directing departments, keeping everything light and entertaining while also building a sense of real danger as things build towards a finale that looks likely to change the lives of everyone involved.

I'm a big fan of Yelchin, and will happily watch him in anything, and he's great in the lead role here. Odd has some special talents, but he's no superhero, and Yelchin embodies a perfect mix of the main characteristics, in terms of personality, physicality and, yes, quirkiness. Timlin is very sweet and easy to like, a young woman worthy of the love that Odd has for her, and Dafoe is solid, and more reserved than usual, as the man trying to help Odd while also trying to avoid offering others an explanation that will get them all sent for brain scans.

It may fall a bit short for some people - not scary enough for horror fans, too quirky for fans of straight thrillers, not funny enough for fans of horror-tinged comedies - but I thought it managed to weave everything together nicely, creating something that uses a lot of familiar elements and turns them into a final product that's pleasingly, albeit only ever-so-slightly, different from the norm.

7/10

http://www.amazon.com/Odd-Thomas-Blu-ray-Anton-Yelchin/dp/B00HHYF59S/ref=sr_1_3?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1402436452&sr=1-3&keywords=odd+thomas

G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (2009)

If you go into this movie and don't realise what you're going to get then you deserve everything coming to you, even if that's a real downer for you. This is a movie based on a series of toys (G.I. Joe being the original, American version of our very own Action Man action figures here in the UK) and directed by a man (Stephen Sommers) well-known for providing spectacle over substance.

I can happily admit to enjoying many Stephen Sommers movies (even the majorly drubbed Van Helsing) so I already had an idea that I was going to like the G.I. Joe film. As things began, and it hits the ground running, I was proved very much correct.

The story is pretty much summed up in the title, but I'll give the very briefest recap here. Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans play two soldiers who are tasked with carrying some dangerous warheads from A to B. When their convoy is attacked, they meet a team from the G.I. Joe program. One thing leads to another and the two men decide that they want a piece of that action. People fight each other, backstories are dripfed throughout the movie in flashbacks, and there's a chase sequence through Paris that's up there with the very best of modern popcorn entertainment.

The cast all do their jobs. Dennis Quaid is great as a tough-talking, caring leader, Christopher Eccleston is good enough in his role (he created the warheads) and the others all do just fine at portraying . . . . action figures on screen. Tatum continues to be likable while scowling and looking tough, Wayans is a lot less annoying here than he usually is in any other movie and Arnold Vosloo does a very passable Arnold Vosloo impression (see pretty much every other Arnold Vosloo role ever . . . . . and don't think I'm demeaning him, I love his work). There are more tough men onscreen, portrayed by the likes of Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Ray Park and Lee Byung-hun, and then some tough female characters portrayed by Sienna Miller and Rachel Nichols. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jonathan Pryce and some other famous faces (Brendan Fraser has a fun cameo) pop up to flesh out the cast, and everyone is good enough to almost make you forget it's going to be brainless, loud fun.

Then we get to the amazing, razzle dazzle, fireworks experience, and boy does it deliver in that department. Things are a little bit slow and generic in the first half of the movie (quick character sketches, training montage, the mission briefing, etc. all present and correct) but from the start of that aforementioned sequence in Paris things step up to another level. It's fast and furious, it's loud and proud, it's delirious fun for those who don't mind seeing some obvious computerised images amongst some great, adrenaline-pumping action moments.

Mixing the essence of the action figures (keep an eye out for all of the little details that crop up throughout) with a number of elements that wouldn't look out of place in any James Bond movie, this is one of my favourite American action movies from the past few years.

8/10

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