Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)

With pretty much everyone returning, unless I am forgetting someone, Jumanji: The Next Level is an enjoyable lesson in how to put everything together competently enough for a sequel to a blockbuster family film.

A few years have gone by since the events of the first film. All is well, sort of. Spencer (Alex Wolff) just isn't feeling right though. Things aren't exactly awful, but he remembers how much better he was when stepping into the world of Jumanji. So he heads back in.  His friends understandably want to rescue him, as soon as they realise what is going on, but they don't get to pick their characters this time. They also have two new players with them, Spencer's grandfather (Danny DeVito) and his friend, Milo (Danny Glover). Once in the game, it is time to have more fun with Jack Black, Karen Gillan, Dwayne Johnson, and Kevin Hart. Which is what viewers really want to see.

Nothing here is as good as it was in the previous movie, but, and this is important, nothing here is a lot worse either. As well as deriving fun from the new players being befuddled by everything, Jumanji: The Next Level also throws a couple of tricks in there to keep everyone on their toes. The emotional content doesn't work, but it is well-intentioned enough, and played well, to make it bearable. Familiarity doesn't breed contempt (dance fighting moves are displayed, Johnson gets to smoulder, and both Black and Hart get plenty of moments to act amusingly frustrated or bemused), but there is wisdom in mixing just enough fresh faces to help it not feel like a complete retread.

Jake Kasdan once again directs, and once again helped to write the screenplay with Jeff Pinkner and Scott Rosenberg, and he does well, handling the action-packed set-pieces as well as the smaller moments of comedic interplay. He's helped by a cast that all seem to emanate that feeling of slipping into familiar and comfortable clothing.

All of the main players are as good in their roles as they were the first time around, and they get to enjoy showing some different sides of their personas, while both Akwafina and Rory NcCann are solid additions, with the latter especially good as the new main villain causing problems in Jumanji-land.

If you liked the last movie then you will like this one. That's all it wants to do, keep fans happy and entertained. I would watch it again. And I would watch a third adventure. Job done.

7/10

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xXx: State Of The Union (2005)

If you ever struggle with your place in the world, stressing out as you consider the fact that your IQ may be working against you, because ignorance is bliss, then you should immediately get your hands on xXx: State Of The Union. It WILL help lower that IQ. It's that dumb.

Lee Tamahori, a man who should stop giving us poor action movies and return to making films like the most excellent Once Were Warriors, is the director, working from a script by Simon Kinberg (who has a slightly better track record, but also gave us Fantastic Four), and it quickly becomes clear that it's a hodge podge of ridiculous action and bad decisions, accompanied by a number of obvious soundtrack choices.

Ice Cube is the new xXx, an ex-military rough guy who gets broken out from jail by Samuel L. Jackson (reprising his role of Agent Augustus Eugene Gibbons) and Michael Roof (reprising the much lesser role of Agent Toby Lee Shavers). This all happens because the xXx facility has been raided, people have been killed, and there's suspicion of a conspiracy that may reach as high as the Secretary Of Defence (Willem Dafoe) and the President Of The United States (Peter Strauss). Can Ice Cube snarl and punch-kick-throw enough people out of the way to complete his new mission?

Let me clarify something before we move forward, I can absolutely switch my brain off to enjoy a movie. Anyone who has met me for more than five minutes already knows that it takes me more effort to sometimes switch my brain ON. But the film still has to meet me halfway. This does not do that. It's even more ridiculous than the first film, which would be okay if a) they nailed the tone and b) could make the most of their budget. They manage neither.

Cube can do tough and mean, but he doesn't ever feel convincing in the full action hero role. Sorry, he just doesn't work here for me. Jackson can do his thing in his sleep, and he's okay, and Roof clearly couldn't believe his luck when he found that his minor tech guy role from the first movie had been beefed up for this instalment. Dafoe is fun, Strauss is bland, Scott Speedman is an agent who may end up helping or hindering Cube, and Xzibit pops up long enough to join in with some vehicular carnage. The main female characters are played by Nona Gaye and Sunny Mabrey, with the latter given a bit more to do than the former.

There are so many moments here to either relish or roll your eyes at, depending on your mood. The jailbreak sequence, for starters, features one of my pet peeves - a vehicle that makes no sound at all until it appears in frame. There are some nice cars on display, lots of stuntmen fall down to make Ice Cube look good, a tank on tank battle quickly becomes far too ridiculous, but ends well, and the finale features a car jumping on to some train tracks, shredding the rubber from the tyres, and still catching up to a . . . bullet train. Admittedly, I was laughing out loud at that point. It was a big mess, but I had already gone along with it all and I knew the end must be near.

Despite the twists and turns that the script takes, the biggest thing working against this movie is that it doesn't have the identity of the first film. As dumb as xXx was, it had the central gimmick (extreme sports legend sent in as a secret agent). This film is just an action movie that seems determined to be the dumbest film of 2005. Tamahori and Kinberg can do much better, as can most of the cast members. I suspect even Roof can do better. And I know that viewers can.

3/10.

Buy two movies here. 
Or Americans can get just the sequel here.