Prime Time: War Of The Worlds (2025)

If I see anything worse than War Of The Worlds before the end of this year then I will be astonished. It's one of the most painful, but also laughable, movies I have seen in some time. Even the mega-flop of Megalopolis at least had some ambition, and a genuine feeling of someone trying to present a (misguided?) vision. This is just amateur-ish, uninteresting, and horribly cynical, especially when it comes to a third act that relies so heavily on some embarrassing product placement.

Presented as a "screenlife" feature (a film with all of the events depicted on one screen or another), although I am not sure it even manages to stay with that format for the 91-minute runtime, this shows a Department of Homeland Security officer (Will Radford, played by Ice Cube) doing his best to respond to unbelievable events when a bit of strange weather turns into an alien invasion. Tripods rise up, an attack begins, and Will tries to figure out counter-measures, while also trying to keep his adult children safe. 

The feature directorial debut from Rich Lee, a man who has directed a multitude of music videos and worked on the visual effects on some big blockbusters through the past few decades, this is staggeringly incompetent in almost every way. The biggest problem is the screenplay, written by Marc Hyman and Kenny Golde (credited as Kenneth A. Golde). Obviously believing that they are being clever and relevant with their updated version of the classic tale, which has the alien invaders looking to gobble up massive amounts of data, Hyman and Golde show that they cannot manage to do well with either the dialogue or the plotting. Having Ice Cube in the lead role allows for him to blurt out some "Ice Cube-isms" (even if nobody else would describe them in that way), but that's all this has going for it. And that's nowhere near enough.

I tend to enjoy Cube in movies. He can do good work. Not here though. It's almost painful to watch him overreact and over-explain in every main sequence, making up for the fact that almost all of his activity is moving between a variety of windows and typing things out on his keyboard. Iman Benson and Henry Hunter Hall are the endangered family members, and both benefit from the fact that they don't have to carry so much of the movie on their shoulders. Which isn't to say they're actually good. Eva Longoria makes an appearance that amounts to a brief cameo, Andrea Savage is an expendable FBI Agent, and even Clark Gregg highlights the mishandling of the material in the moments that have him acting like a parody of his NSA Director character. It's also worth mentioning Devon Bostick, although his character is responsible for the worst parts of the film.

However bad you think this is . . . it's even worse. There's no real sense of spectacle or scale, no actual tension, and most of the runtime has the cast members acting as if they're just taking part in a table read before delivering the full performance at another time. As for one of the main turns taken by the plot at about the halfway point, it's just as cringe-inducingly bad as everything else. 

There's a moral here about surveillance and the use of data, but the main moral I would offer people is to avoid surveilling this particular travesty. 

1/10

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Johnny Mnemonic (1995)

Johnny Mnemonic is a pretty silly movie, in both the plotting and the way of so many '90s movies showcasing the future of technology, and I can't help but love it. It has some interesting ideas in the mix, a great cast, and a wonderful vein of dark comedy running through it.

Keanu Reeves plays the title character, a courier of sorts. He does jobs that involve data being stored in his head, delivered to someone who has the code to retrieve it. In need of a decent sum of money to retrieve memories that have been wiped for his work, in what seems like a bit of a vicious cycle, Johnny agrees to make one final delivery run, and it's one that will take up a lot more space in his head than he is used to. It's also a very precious bundle of data, so precious that he ends up being helped in his journey by a kickass woman named Jane (Dina Meyer) as he tries to stay one step ahead of various people who want to cause him harm, with a number of them literally wanting his head.

Written by William Gibson, who adapted his own story, Johnny Mnemonic can be described as many things, not all flattering, but it's never dull. The dialogue may often be slightly risible, with one or two notable exceptions, but this is a film that strives to do what it can on the budget to realise a near-future world and have fun with the main concepts.

Director Robert Longo, who gave us this as his one and only feature (to date), does a decent job of keeping everything in line, tonally, with the script. Silly moments abound, some intended and some not, but at least the whole thing doesn't devolve into a collage of music video moments, which is all the more impressive when you look over Longo's back catalogue of music video work. The action isn't ever as good as it could be, and a couple of big reveals in the third act just feel mishandled, but I really don't see why people view this as a BAD film. Okay, that's not true, I can see why the view it that way, I just don't understand why they can't overlook the failings to enjoy something so clearly interested in providing fun entertainment for viewers.

Reeves isn't doing his best work but he's just fine in his role, even when delivering some of the worst dialogue in the script. Meyer fares better in her role, as do most of the other supporting cast members, including Udo Kier, Takeshi Kitano, Ice Cube, Dolph Lundgren, and a typically ranty Henry Rollins.

Highlights include Lundgren attempting to steal his few scenes, a third act reveal that will have you either chuckling and staying on for the ride or wanting to check out immediately, a dangerous villain with a thumb attachment that unleashes a laser garrotte, Udo Kier enjoying moments that allow him to be full Udo Kier, and (while watching it nowadays) an amusing naiveté inherent in so many sci-fi movies from the past few decades when it comes to trying to showcase the technological marvels that were supposedly coming along some years from now.

I can't seriously recommend this to people, yet I wholeheartedly recommend it to everyone. Give it a go. If you end up hating it then at least the runtime is just over the ninety-minute mark. But I hope you learn to enjoy it as much as I do.

7/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy the movie here.

Filmstruck Friday: Three Kings (1999)

Three Kings remains one of the best films from director David O. Russell, helped by a great cast and a fun script that generally updates Kelly's Heroes and adds more relevant politics and modern views on warfare. It's a film infused, at least initially, with cinematic cool that manages to walk a tightrope by sprinkling cool moments here and there without ever making the environment or war itself seem cool in the slightest.

George Clooney is Archie Gates, a soldier in Iraq as the Gulf War starts to wind down. He ends up leading three men (MarkWahlberg, Ice Cube, and Spike Jonze) on a hunt for gold stolen from Kuwait. They want to steal the gold for themselves, allowing them a very comfortable life when they get back home to America. But as they set out to execute their plan they encounter a number of people who need their help. Trying to ignore them becomes more difficult after they witness what can only be desribed as a ruthless execution.

Based on a story written by John Ridley, Three Kings is almost a perfect look at machismo and how easy it can be to undercut that machismo. The biggest and strongest soldier can be caught and tortured, can be turned into a weak invalid by one bullet, and can be killed at any moment, by a landmine or a gun-wielding enemy, or even an ally making a mistake. The dialogue succinctly captures the essence of the central characters and how the war has sharpened their senses in some ways and yet also dulled them in others. There's no room for complacency, but that's not to say that complacency is something they are never guilty of.

Clooney gives one of his many winning performances, a perfect fit as the guy who comes in and takes over leadership of the three men (who only know where the gold is because they happened to find a map stuck in the posterior of a prisoner). Ice Cube is also very good, and Wahlberg and Jonze both do well, the former playing someone who can posture with the best of them and the latter playing someone wishing he could posture like his buddy. The supporting cast also features Cliff Curtis, Nora Dunn, Jamie Kennedy, Said Taghmaoui, Mykelti Williamson, Holt McCallany, and Judy Greer, and not one of them puts a foot wrong. Not even Jamie Kennedy.

Not quite all things to all people, Three Kings at least gives it a damn good try. It has enough standard soldiering to please those looking for a war movie, it has a nice line in wry humour to please those after a particular style of comedic entertainment, and it has enought thought-provoking moments regarding the politics of war, in general, and the situation in Iraq to please those who want a bit of depth to their slick entertainment.

20 years old next year, this holds up as a fantastic modern war movie, one you could nicely line up alongside Buffalo Soldiers and Jarhead for a smart and amusing triple-bill that reflects on the madness of modern life in wartime without taking anything away from the individuals affected by it.

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xXx: State Of The Union (2005)

If you ever struggle with your place in the world, stressing out as you consider the fact that your IQ may be working against you, because ignorance is bliss, then you should immediately get your hands on xXx: State Of The Union. It WILL help lower that IQ. It's that dumb.

Lee Tamahori, a man who should stop giving us poor action movies and return to making films like the most excellent Once Were Warriors, is the director, working from a script by Simon Kinberg (who has a slightly better track record, but also gave us Fantastic Four), and it quickly becomes clear that it's a hodge podge of ridiculous action and bad decisions, accompanied by a number of obvious soundtrack choices.

Ice Cube is the new xXx, an ex-military rough guy who gets broken out from jail by Samuel L. Jackson (reprising his role of Agent Augustus Eugene Gibbons) and Michael Roof (reprising the much lesser role of Agent Toby Lee Shavers). This all happens because the xXx facility has been raided, people have been killed, and there's suspicion of a conspiracy that may reach as high as the Secretary Of Defence (Willem Dafoe) and the President Of The United States (Peter Strauss). Can Ice Cube snarl and punch-kick-throw enough people out of the way to complete his new mission?

Let me clarify something before we move forward, I can absolutely switch my brain off to enjoy a movie. Anyone who has met me for more than five minutes already knows that it takes me more effort to sometimes switch my brain ON. But the film still has to meet me halfway. This does not do that. It's even more ridiculous than the first film, which would be okay if a) they nailed the tone and b) could make the most of their budget. They manage neither.

Cube can do tough and mean, but he doesn't ever feel convincing in the full action hero role. Sorry, he just doesn't work here for me. Jackson can do his thing in his sleep, and he's okay, and Roof clearly couldn't believe his luck when he found that his minor tech guy role from the first movie had been beefed up for this instalment. Dafoe is fun, Strauss is bland, Scott Speedman is an agent who may end up helping or hindering Cube, and Xzibit pops up long enough to join in with some vehicular carnage. The main female characters are played by Nona Gaye and Sunny Mabrey, with the latter given a bit more to do than the former.

There are so many moments here to either relish or roll your eyes at, depending on your mood. The jailbreak sequence, for starters, features one of my pet peeves - a vehicle that makes no sound at all until it appears in frame. There are some nice cars on display, lots of stuntmen fall down to make Ice Cube look good, a tank on tank battle quickly becomes far too ridiculous, but ends well, and the finale features a car jumping on to some train tracks, shredding the rubber from the tyres, and still catching up to a . . . bullet train. Admittedly, I was laughing out loud at that point. It was a big mess, but I had already gone along with it all and I knew the end must be near.

Despite the twists and turns that the script takes, the biggest thing working against this movie is that it doesn't have the identity of the first film. As dumb as xXx was, it had the central gimmick (extreme sports legend sent in as a secret agent). This film is just an action movie that seems determined to be the dumbest film of 2005. Tamahori and Kinberg can do much better, as can most of the cast members. I suspect even Roof can do better. And I know that viewers can.

3/10.

Buy two movies here. 
Or Americans can get just the sequel here.

Ride Along (2014)

A mainstream comedy that lets you know what to expect from the title, and the two leads, Ride Along is the kind of movie that it's almost redundant to review. Basically, a LOT of people will already know whether they're going to like or dislike this movie.

Ice Cube is a tough cop, James Payton, obsessed with catching the biggest criminal in the city. His main problem is that nobody knows what this criminal looks like. For every bust that takes him a step closer, James seems to find himself pushed a step back, either by criminals or his own superior (Bruce McGill). Kevin Hart is Ben Barber, a young man who is working as a security guard until he hopes to join the Police Academy and get a career in the force. His girlfriend, Angela Payton (Tika Sumpter), loves him very much, but she wants him to get on a bit better with her brother (yep, it's the tough cop) as they move forward in their relationship. Ben asks James for a chance to make up for one past mistake, a chance to prove himself, and so James arranges to pick him up for a ride along. Of course, he wants to make sure that Ben has a horrible time of it. That's all well and good until real criminals start to cause them some problems.

Written by four people, which is three too many when you think of the solid gag count, and directed by Tim Story, Ride Along is absolutely in line with numerous other mainstream comedy hits from the past few years. It relies on the draw of Cube and Hart, it offers no surprises at all, and it's designed to appeal to people after nothing more than 90 minutes of fun at their local cinema. That doesn't make it a terrible film. It doesn't make it evil. It doesn't mean that everyone should roll their eyes and start moaning about the death of cinema. It just means that this is designed to be the popular fast food option at the multiplex, vying with a few other fast food options to see who can ring more money through the tills for a couple of weeks.

Cube can do comedic anger in his sleep, and he's perfectly fine in his role, while Hart does . . . . . what he does. He's not to all tastes, and I'm not his biggest fan, but he's far from the most annoying person I've ever watched onscreen. In fact, the first half of the movie does throw him one or two moments that allow him to show that his character isn't just a one-dimensional buffoon. The fact that he knows so much information about weaponry because of his constant online gaming is also a fun additional detail. Sumpter is likable, McGill is always worth a watch, John leguizamo and Bryan Callen are both okay as Cube's colleagues, and Laurence Fishburne does well with his fairly limited screentime (it's a big shame that he didn't get to do more).

If you don't like fairly safe comedies then avoid this one. If you don't like Hart then avoid this one. At least it doesn't try to convince you that it's something it's not. I admit that I expected to hate the thing, but opted to "take one for the team". I ended up, however, smiling on a couple of occasions. I don't think I ever once laughed aloud, but I didn't feel pained at any point either. Faint praise, indeed, but praise nonetheless.

5/10

http://www.amazon.com/Ride-Along-Blu-ray-DIGITAL-UltraViolet/dp/B00HX1FD5Q/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1408894291&sr=1-1&keywords=ride+along

22 Jump Street (2014)

21 Jump Street was one of the best comedies of the last few years so I was very happy when I heard that all of the main players were returning for a sequel, imaginatively titled 22 Jump Street. Once the trailer landed I was even happier. It looked like it was going to be a lot of fun. Well, having just seen the movie, I can assure fans of the first film that they will have almost as much fun with this brilliant follow-up.

Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum return to play Schmidt and Jenko, two undercover cops who have managed to get some good results, despite moments of staggering ineptitude. After going undercover at a high school for their first big job they end up now going to college. As Deputy Chief Hardy (Nick Offerman) goes to great lengths to point out that everyone wants them to do exactly what they did the first time around. More money has been ploughed into the project, the setting is slightly different, but the journey taken by our two leads should be a very familiar one. Nobody wants it to be different. Schmidt and Jenko may beg to differ, but they soon end up reprising a number of familiar comedy beats.

The plot isn't all that important to 22 Jump Street. What matters here is the meta brilliance of it all and the sheer exuberance in almost every scene. Sure, there may be some people who dislike seeing scenes that feel like pop video moments interrupting a standard narrative, but it's hard not to be swayed by the fun that Tatum and Hill are obviously having. The other main cast members - Ice Cube, Wyatt Russell, Amber Stevens, Peter Stormare, Jillian Bell, Jimmy Tatro - also get to have a good time, with almost everyone onscreen getting involved with at least one big laugh. Ice Cube and Offerman both steal a few scenes, and there are a good number of laughs packed into the one sequence that allows Rob Riggle and Dave Franco to show up again.

The script, written by Michael Bacall, Oren Uziel, and Rodney Rothman, isn't exactly a gold-plated classic, with a lot of the dialogue sounding completely unfunny out of context, but the execution of the material by directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (who are now 4 for 4), and the chemistry between the two leads, more than makes up for the shortcomings. There's also that meta coating that gives a lot of the lines more than one meaning, often quite audaciously.

As a comedy, it works. As a comedy sequel, it works. As an action comedy, it . . . . . . just manages to get by, but only thanks to one or two set-pieces at the start and end of the film. As a brilliantly sly sequel that gleefully plays with expectations and spends plenty of time ridiculing itself, however, I put it on a par with Gremlins 2: The New Batch. It's a cheeky way to recycle elements from the first movie, but it works.

I don't think you'll find a better film this year that includes such a strong bromance, a pair of twins uncannily in sync with one another (played by The Lucas Brothers), Patton Oswalt, Ice Cube in an office that LOOKS like an ice cube, a nod to Benny Hill, and some slam poetry that may feel very familiar to fans of So I Married An Axe Murderer. But let me know if you do.

8/10

Pick up the first movie here if you haven't got it already - http://www.amazon.com/Jump-Street-UltraViolet-Digital-Blu-ray/dp/B003Y5H5BA/ref=sr_1_4?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1402291071&sr=1-4&keywords=22+jump+street

Boyz N The Hood (1991)

An absolutely fantastic directorial debut from John Singleton (who also wrote the film), Boyz N The Hood holds up to this day as a great movie about people trying to break a cycle of violence and hate. Despite what you may think, if you've never seen the film, this is a movie with some major negative moments that pushes hard to convey a message of positivity. It doesn't glorify or glamourise any of the lifestyle choices that it shows other than one that can see people living happily beside one another.

Cuba Gooding Jr. stars as Tre Styles, a young man who has been brought up for a number of years by his father, Furious Styles (Laurence Fishburne). Furious, despite the name, is a peaceful man who wants to see African Americans opening their eyes to the problems around them and making everything better. He is well aware of the statistics and he wants those numbers to change, especially when it comes to the life that his son will lead. Tre has a few close friends who seem to be on very different paths. Ricky (Morris Chestnut) actually has a chance to do well thanks to a scholarship opportunity but he's also already a daddy at a very young age so it's not going to be easy. Ricky has a brother called Darren AKA Doughboy. Doughboy is an angry young man, happy to waste most of his time relaxing with friends but also quick to reach for a gun if there is any sign of trouble.

I could, indeed maybe should, just wrap up this review now by saying that the movie oozes quality from almost every scene and deserves to be viewed at least once by anyone who loves great acting but everyone should know by now that I like the sound of my own voice (or the font of my own text - is that the blogging equivalent?) so I'll say a little bit more about the movie.

The main thing going against it is predictability. In a lot of ways the film feels fresh and different, especially in the way that Laurence Fishburne brings up Cuba Gooding Jr, but the main beats of the story are so obvious that you can spot them at least half an hour in advance. That doesn't make the movie horrible or unwatchable but it is something that's worth mentioning. There aren't any major surprises here.

Thankfully, the rest of the film works so well that you don't care. It remains the best directorial outing from John Singleton, who announced himself to the world with an astonishingly accomplished debut. It also remains some of the best acting work from the collected actors onscreen. Laurence Fishburne has given a number of great performances over the years but this is certainly up there with his very best. Cuba Gooding Jr. is superb and he's well matched by the different styles of Ice Cube, Morris Chestnut, Regi Green and Dedrick D. Gobert. Angela Bassett has a small, but important, role and so does Regina King while Nia Long plays the most prominent female character and makes herself into someone effectively adorable.

Although there are many ways in which Boyz N The Hood is exactly what you expect it to be there are a number of other ways in which it's completely removed from the preconceptions that viewers may have. Treat yourself by watching it soon if you haven't seen it already.

8/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Boyz-Anniversary-Edition-Blu-ray-Region/dp/B005DL7S4M/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1347008149&sr=8-2

21 Jump Street (2012)

It's time for yet another old TV show to be given a comedy makeover as 21 Jump Street hits the big screen and I must start off this review by saying that this is a film once again based on a TV show that I have no knowledge of. Well, I understand that the basic premise revolved around an undercover police unit working at a school but beyond that I know nothing.

The movie starts off in 2005, showing us a couple of very different young men. Schmidt (Jonah Hill) is a loser while Jenko (Channing Tatum) is the handsome, popular guy who makes fun of him. The one thing they have in common is that neither is going to the prom. Move forward a few years and Schmidt and Jenko end up in the same group training for the police. The two men help each other out and become firm friends. Sadly, they don't seem to be very good cops and after messing up their first arrest they are transferred over to the Jump Street project - an undercover operation that will send them back to high school in an attempt to bust a drug ring. Strange as it may seem, in the intervening years the smart and caring kids have become the cool ones and the aggressive rebels aren't so beloved as they once were. Schmidt and Jenko have to struggle to adapt to their new roles but cracking the case must remain at the top of their agenda. Well, that and maybe going to the prom.

Directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller, and with a script written by Michael Bacall (based on a story worked out by himself and Jonah Hill), 21 Jump Street has plenty of great one-liners, a few decent comedy action sequences and some obvious but amusing character development.

The real ace up its sleeve, however, is the central pairing of Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill. I have enjoyed the work of both actors in a number of other movies but they play off each other brilliantly here, with Tatum showing a real flair for comedy, and the chemistry between them ensures that this film rattles from start to finish with not one dull moment.

The rest of the cast all do very well, it's just clear that the movie is at its peak when Tatum and Hill are the focus. Brie Larson is cute as Molly - the young lady who catches Schmidt's eye, Dave Franco is very good as Eric (a cool guy but also a main suspect), Rob Riggle is as hilarious as ever in the role of Mr. Walters, Ice Cube is very entertaining as the angry Captain Dickson, Ellie Kemper is very funny as Miss Griggs - distracted by Jenko and there are far too many other names that I could single out for praise if I had the time/space/inclination but just trust me when I say that everyone does a fantastic job. There are also a few great cameos for fans to watch out for so keep your eyes peeled.

To be honest, I didn't expect much from this film. I was hoping for a few laughs but I was worried that it would be yet another comedy with all of the best moments already shown in the trailer. That certainly wasn't the case. It's slick and full of plenty of intelligence working alongside the dumber elements but also, and most importantly, it was laugh out loud funny for most of the runtime. Fans of the original show may not like the fact that it has been given a comedy makeover so do bear that in mind but for everyone else - I suggest giving this one a watch ASAP if you want your funny bone tickled.

9/10

http://www.amazon.com/Jump-Street-UltraViolet-Digital-Blu-ray/dp/B003Y5H5BA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1337947019&sr=8-1