Shudder Saturday: Bloody Oranges (2021)

While people may check this out because it is labelled, in some places anyway, as a comedy horror, I'd warn people against using that as an indicator of what they may be in for. Personally, there's nothing here that feels like real horror, not when thinking of most of the genre standards anyway, and the comedy is about as twisted and black as you can get. Bloody Oranges is best considered a dark comedy that is SO dark that you can't always see the humour. I'm not sure whether I will ever watch it again, and it took a while for everything to click into place on this viewing, but I am sure that I'm now intrigued by the (currently quite small) filmography of director Jean-Christophe Meurisse, who also co-wrote the thing with Yohann Gloaguen and Amélie Philippe.

The main players here are an elderly couple (played by Olivier Saladin and Lorella Cravotta) who are hoping to win enough money in a dance competition to help them clear the debt they have accrued, a lawyer (Alexandre Steiger) who is trying to make the world a better place, a government minister (Christophe Paou) who isn't, and a young woman (Lilith Grasmug) nervous about potentially having sex for the first time. There are also a couple of important characters played by Pascal Tagnati and Fred Blin. All of these people, some related to one another and some not, find their lives interconnecting in a number of ways, and they're all about to go through various ordeals.

Starting off in a slightly quirky way that could lull unsuspecting viewers into a false sense of security, Bloody Oranges tilts into full-on madness about halfway through the runtime. While it doesn't go as far as the titles I am about to mention, there's a feeling of this having tissue connected to films as uncomfortable and brutal as A Serbian Film and Salò, or the 120 Days Of Sodom. Many of the main characters here feel as if they are trapped in a dehumanising and devouring society that has too many holes in what should be a giant safety net for all. Whether abuser or victim, the resulting damage has the same repercussions through the lives of people who are only a few degrees separated from people they may not even be aware of.

All of the cast members are excellent, and everyone pitches their performance towards the seriousness of their actions, leaving Meurisse to deliver any potential comedy via juxtaposition and the commentary that weaves through many of the main scenes. Steiger and Grasmug are the standouts, although both Tagnati and Blin steal a couple of moments, but there's nobody onscreen I can fault.

This is one of those films that keeps reminding you that somebody is puppeteering everyone onscreen though, and Meurisse is the one pulling the strings. He doesn't seem to have mastered every move, but his anger and cynicism make up for the narrative mis-steps and pacing issues. This feels like a balled fist. The eventual punch may miss the mark, but it still manages to clip you on the chin and leave you a bit taken aback by the impact.

7/10

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The Christmas Train Parade (2023)

AKA Meet Me At The Christmas Train Parade.

A small town. A person looking to change that small town with some big development money. A tradition that ended some time ago, but could be ripe for resurrection. The Christmas Train Parade has exactly what you expect this kind of film to have. There's also the nice atmosphere that is both chilly and cosy, a pair of leads who start to grow closer very quickly, and no jagged edges to interrupt the big hug that it delivers in the predictable finale.

Emma Johnson is Charlotte Atkins, our lead character, who is spurred on by her son, Benny (Maxwell Jones), to see if there's a way to bring back the Christmas train ride tradition that used to symbolise the strong connection between the town and those neighboring it. If she can make it work then that will also show a united front against the developers who want to muscle in. Thankfully, she will be helped by a local teacher, Zackary (Ryan Northcott), who has a lot of knowledge about the history of the town. More importantly, he also has a friend, Oliver (John Hudson), who seems to know a thing or two about repairing trains.

Writer Nathan Usher may only have two full features and a short to his name, but he knows what is needed in this piece of fluff. It helps that Dylan Pearce is directing, considering he has, like a number of others, made quite a few of these snowy sweet treats. I'm amazed that I've not actually seen any of the other titles directed by Pearce, not YET anyway, but most of them look as if they could comfortably fit on that Letterboxd list titled "Christmas movie posters with white heterosexual couples wearing red and green." Which feels like an endorsement when it comes to this kind of stuff.

Johnson and Northcott are perfectly fine in their roles, but this film managed to help me figure out the problem that films like this sometimes have. When the plot makes use of a child in the way that this does then these Christmas films tend to infantilise the adults, at least in the scenes that have them sharing screentime with the special and wise youngster. Which wouldn't be so bad if the child actors were exceptional, but they rarely are. Jones is in line with many other child actors I've seen in these movies AKA not exceptional. Michelle Todd, Sue Huff, and Will Brisbin don't do too bad as the three mayors who need to be convinced on the merits of bringing back this particular tradition (all three have various reasons for being hesitant), and Maureen Rooney shows her face whenever the film needs to add kindly grandma to any scene, reminding viewers that this is a quest to help the town, a family, and multiple generations.

While this isn't great, not by a long shot, it's mainly cute and harmless enough to make it the ideal background fodder that most of these schedule-fillers aim to be. Nothing ever feels as if it will be a problem for long, lessons are learned along the way, and train enthusiasts may enjoy the few actual shots of the train. Please note, however, that I am already at the point this month when I cannot be sure if I actually enjoyed a movie . . . or if I was just relieved that it wasn't as bad as some of the worst ones I decided to put in front of my eyes this year.

4/10

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Adult Swim Yule Log (2022)

Writer-director Casper Kelly may be some kind of demented genius, although I appreciate that not everyone will agree with me. And not everyone will enjoy Adult Swim Yule Log, a film created by someone who just thought "what if you were watching one of those burning yule log videos and someone walked into the shot?", but those who enjoy it should REALLY enjoy it.

It all starts with that standard burning log footage. Then a woman comes in and starts to clean the floor, getting everything ready for people who are booked to stay in the log cabin. Then something happens. It's not necessarily the focus of the film though, as the log continues to burn and viewers continue to watch it in the centre of the frame. Then Alex (Justin Miles) and Zoe (Andrea Laing) arrive, and things eventually get more and more bizarre from that point on. The camera eventually pulls back to show the bigger picture, and we are shown different viewpoints, and even different time periods, but that burning log is at the heart(h) of everything.

In case I forget before ending this review, let me praise the cast. Miles and Laing are excellent in what you could call the lead roles, and they are given enough to do in their first scenes to establish their characters well enough before things go completely bonkers. Tordy Clark and Brendan Patrick Connor make a strong impression with their characters, I won't tell you who they are (the constant surprises are part of the pleasure), Mark Costello and Jonathon Pawlowski are a couple of law enforcement individuals who stop by at the cabin, and Michael Reagan, Jessica Fontaine, Sean Hankinson, Hannah Alline, Skye Passmore, Danielia Maximillian, Thy Bui, and Charles Green play a wide variety of characters who end up dragged into the unfolding madness.

The real star here is Kelly though, someone who has a real knack for walking a line between comedy and horror, making use of surreal touches to comment on, but also still deliver, popular TV and movie tropes. If someone was to describe the opening scene and the final scene of this movie to you then you would laugh at the ridiculous distance between the start of the journey and the final destination, but Kelly crafts something that actually feels as if it moves logically from one step to the next. Nobody watching this will feel suddenly shocked, we're all frogs sitting in a pot as Kelly slowly and steadily turns the heat up to boiling point. 

The dialogue doesn't always feel as if it is more than filler in between a number of highlights, but the second half delivers a number of pay-offs that emphasise just how dense and smart the script is. Many horror fans may be put off by the silliness of certain moments, but there's a good selection of gory moments and nastiness throughout to satisfy those who can enjoy the ride.

The more I think about this, the more I love it. It's unlike anything else I have seen in recent years, and I'm already keen to watch the sequel. I encourage everyone else to check this out, as long as you're prepared for the parade of wonderful oddities that it delivers.

8/10

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Prime Time: Christmas At Plumhill Manor (2024)

I may have mentioned this before, but there are two names very familiar to anyone who was busy conversing on the IMDb message boards back at the turn of the 21st century. Those names are Nick Palumbo and Brian Herzlinger. The former claimed to have made a notorious and unsettling gorefest or two, and the latter was busy telling everyone about his clumsy and lacklustre movie, My Date With Drew. What they both had in common was a knack for spamming. It was hard to get beyond those irritating/unpleasant interactions and actually rate the movies according to simply the movie itself, but I tried hard. Still . . . seeing either name on the opening credits will always cause me to shudder.

Christmas At Plumhill Manor is directed by Brian Herzlinger, with a screenplay co-written by Megan Henry Herzlinger (who seems to be his wife and seems to, at the moment, exclusively gain work from her husband) and Avery Henry-Bailey. While I wouldn't call it the worst of the worst, it has clarified something in my mind about Herzlinger. He's better at selling an idea of his film than he is at actually making the thing, although I'll have to begrudgingly make the slightest concession towards being complimentary for the fact that he has somehow done enough over the past couple of decades to maintain the career that he wanted when he first started out.

But let's get to the film. A successful American architect named Margot (Maria Menounos) is very surprised when she inherits and old English estate from her Aunt Victoria. Margot never knew this relation, but it turns out that the two might yet forge a strong connection between them. Initially determined to check out the property while she is forced to stay there for one week, Margot soon comes around to the charm of the area and the local people. She is also intrigued by a series of notes/clues left by her Aunt Victoria that end up directing her to . . . well, you'll have to wait and see.

If this premise wasn't written with the idea of naming the film Victoria's Secret Christmas, or maybe Christmas Victoria's Secret, then I'll eat any of the paper party hats that fall out of the Christmas crackers this year. That would be more fun than listening to Menounos read out the various clues here that lead to horribly obvious answers, and a conclusion that makes no sense (although, to be fair, that's a common element in many Christmas movies, but it's easier to overlook in the more enjoyable ones).

Although she's not great, Menounos isn't a terrible lead. She was clearly picked for her availability ahead of her acting talent though, as far as I can tell, and is outshone by a number of her co-stars. Kyle Pryor tries hard as Alfie, the handsome local man who catches her eye, and obviously argues passionately in favour of keeping the estate in the hands of someone who will care enough about it. Caroline Colomei is reasonably fun as Jackie, the driver/helper/local bartender, but her comedy patter feels far too broad and whacky compared to the rest of the film. Stewart Alexander swaggers into a couple of scenes as the American boss, Mr. Calvaux, who is interested in redesigning and rebuilding the estate, and David Shaw Parker is absolutely fine in the role of Thomas, a kind and wise gardener, as well as the father of Alfie.

While it's not good, it has some picturesque footage (even if it rarely feels Christmassy enough), bland leads set to enjoy some chaste romance once they can see eye to eye, some home-made plum cider, and an annoyingly "sweet" child who at least only appears in a couple of scenes. I don't want my opinion of Herzlinger to sway me towards being too harsh on it, but I also don't want my worry about being swayed towards being too harsh on it then sway me towards being too kind to it. What a conundrum. Is it terrible? No, not for what it aims to do. Would I recommend it?  No. There are a lot of better Christmas movies to enjoy ahead of this one.

3/10

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This Is Christmas (2022)

Director Chris Foggin is at the helm of this Christmas movie, another in a line of modern British rom-coms that add all of the festive trimmings, lots of familiar faces, and the kind of busy city life that keeps hustling and bustling without being anywhere near the misery of commuting and working in non-movieland Britain. Writer Alastair Galbraith may not have a lengthy selection of screenplay credits, but he knows how to work his premise around a great central cast.

Alfred Enoch plays Adam, a young man who holds on to the strange belief that commuters might just find their day improved if they chat to one another and communicate about their talents and lives. In fact, he believes that this applies to all people. We'd all have better lives if we just made more connections. And he's willing to throw a Christmas party for his fellow commuters to prove his point. He is helped by Emma (Kaya Scodelario), but everyone has something to bring to the occasion, whether it's a particular skill or a particular story to reveal as the third act plays out.

Although it may seem completely implausible to anyone who has experienced a long train ride through parts of London, Christmas is a time of miracles. That allows This Is Christmas to be an enjoyable and diverting piece of work. It's a complete fantasy, and that much is clear from the very beginning. Commuters DON'T want to make accidental eye contact with one another, let alone start conversing and forging meaningful connections. 

Enoch is a likeable lead, all good manners and good intentions. Scodelario is very good opposite him, feeling like a natural pairing even while both leads have partners who need to be moved out of the picture before everything can be fully consummated (not in THAT way, this is still a Christmas movie, after all). Timothy Spall handles a Liverpudlian accent well enough, and his story pairs him with young Jack Donoghue, both doing much better in the scenes they share than the few moments they go solo, and Joanna Scanlan, Ben Miller, Sarah Niles, and Clinton Liberty do good work when they get to add to the intertwining story strands. There's also a welcome, if far too small, role for Steve Oram, playing a conductor who helps the commuters initially band together against "a common enemy".

It may be a bit overlong at 111 minutes, and some of the more bitter moments feel a bit too spiky for this kind of thing, but This Is Christmas is, overall, a safe and enjoyable bit of winter warmth to enjoy on a cold evening. It won't necessarily make it into the annual rotation for anyone planning their viewing schedule, but it's worth a watch. Once.

6/10

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Mubi Monday: Whisky Galore! (1949)

Known as the film about the little Scottish island that ends up receiving an unexpected windfall of whisky, hence the title, Whisky Galore! holds a place in the hearts of many who have seen it in the intervening decades since it was first release. Like many other Ealing Studios films, it taps into a particularly sweet vein of Britishness, mixed with great comedy and a dash of pathos. But it also has a bunch of Scottish people doing whatever it takes to keep hold of a surprise "delivery" of precious whisky.

The small island of Todday doesn't have too much going on. That doesn't stop Captain Waggett (Basil Radford), commander of the local Home Guard, from trying to keep everything done by the letter of the law. Military maneuvres are practiced, and everyone needs to be ready to do their bit for the greater good. It turns out that Captain Waggett and the islanders have very different ideas of what conssitutes the greater good when a ship containing 50,000 cases of whisky crashes near the island. Waggett wants that cargo kept safe, but everyone else wants to enjoy drinking it.

Based on a real-life incident that happened on the island of Eriskay, Whisky Galore! benefits from a great cast, solid direction from Alexander Mackendrick, and a wonderfully warm and witty screenplay by Compton Mackenzie (adapting his own novel) and Angus MacPhail. It has a brief 82-minute runtime, and brilliantly establishes a large selection of main characters who all end up playing vital roles in the third act set-piece that shows people finding imaginative hiding places for their whisky bottles.

Although he's mainly the villain of the piece, Radford is quite a delight in the role of Waggett. He's all about the precision and standards, no matter how unpopular that makes him on the island. Wylie Watson is also very good as Joseph Macroon, the father of two daughters, Peggy (Joan Greenwood) and Catriona (Gabrielle Blunt), who have caught the hearts of Sergeant Odd (Bruce Seton) and George Campbell (Gordon Jackson), respectively. Greenwood and Blunt light up the screen, Seton gets to break away from the stiffness of his character as he sides with the islanders, due to being compromised by his feelings, and Jackson is fantastic as a man living in fear of his domineering mother (Jean Cadell, delivering one unforgettable matriarchal turn).

There's a wonderful score, an occasional blast of the bagpipes, some traditional dancing, and some trickery employed to try and make the sinking ship and precious cargo seem as real as possible. The comedy is gentle, but there's no real tension (although that may be down to familiarity with the material). It doesn't matter though. You get to spend time with a great assortment of characters that you want to see achieve a small, but meaningful, victory for "the little man". Sometimes you need one stroke of good luck to turn your fortunes around. Sometimes you need much more than that. And sometimes you just need a wee dram.

9/10

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Netflix And Chill: The Merry Gentlemen (2024)

Nothing says Christmas quite like a struggling small-town bar that ends up using some amateur male strippers to help turn fortunes around. Yes, that is the main premise of The Merry Gentlemen, the latest cheesy Christmas movie that I decided to watch this year. And scoff as you may, it wasn't too bad.

Britt Robertson plays Ashley, a young dancer who has had her career ended prematurely by the fact that she's now not quite as young as the limelight-stealing newcomers. So she finally heads back home to visit her parents (played by Michael Gross and Beth Broderick) and soon learns that their little bar, once a thriving hub of music and activity, has been in a slump for a while. A lot of money is owed, and the future isn't looking bright. Thankfully, a hunky local handyman (Luke, played by Chad Michael Murray), Ashley's fit brother-in-law (Rodger, played by Marc Anthony Samuel), a handsome bartender (Troy, played by Colt Prattes), and a dancing cabbie (Ricky, played by Hector David Jr.) are all roped in to Ashley's money-making idea: a choreographed show that features the men doing some very tame teasing. It's obvious that not everything will run smoothly though, and there may still be a chance for Ashley to be lured back to her full-time job in the big city.

As is so often the case, director Peter Sullivan has a large number of TV movies similar to this in his filmography, many of them co-created with Jeffrey Schenck (who is given a story credit here). He has also worked before with Marla Sokoloff, who wrote the screenplay for this and stars onscreen as Ashley's sister, Marie. Despite the opportunity for some extra raunch, everyone involved ensures that this remains cosy Christmas viewing, albeit with a few more abs on display than usual. They know the required story beats, and they hit every one.

Robertson is a decent lead, although I was a bit taken aback to see her in this (considering how much I have enjoyed her in some bigger movies, even if they, admittedly, didn't seem to perform as well as expected). She's appealing enough, and she can also do the occasional bit of clumsiness needed to keep her jostling up against our leading man. Murray is fine, delivering his now-softened-and-bland charm with a side-order of muscular torso, and Samuel, Prattes, and David Jr. all seem to be having fun. Gross is always a welcome sight, and Broderick pairs nicely with him, and it's great to see a small, but worthwhile, role for the charming Maxwell Caulfield (known to most people as either Rex Manning or the Cool Rider).

If you see the trailer for this and like the tone of it then you'll enjoy the film. It does what you expect. There are times when you can still sense the lower budget and rough edges (especially during "crowd" scenes that never feel too crowded), and you have to go with the flow of everything, rather than thinking about how ridiculous it is, but that's easier to do with a Christmas movie than it is with other types of movies. Good fun, and you can always follow it up with some proper raunchiness from the Magic Mike troupe.

6/10

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Shudder Saturday: The Christmas Spirit (2023)

In the way of many traditional slasher movies, The Christmas Spirit begins with a tragic accident that leaves someone burdened with a load of guilt to carry around with them for the rest of their life. The guilty individual is young Cole (Jordan Kronis), a broken soul who grows up to be a troubled adult (played by Zion Forrest Lee). Cole wants to make something special happen that should undo the torment he feels, and he's constantly prompted by The Christmas Spirit (Nicolas Grimes). What will it take to make something special happen? Well, it involves kidnapping a teenage girl (Maggie, played by Matia Jackett) and waiting for some miracles to happen.

While I have started this review with mention of a slasher movie trope, it's important to note that The Christmas Spirit is certainly not a slasher movie. It's not even a horror movie, for those who may be tempted by the poster and plot summary. It's partly a thriller and partly a very dark comedy, with the comedy coming to the fore in a wonderful middle section.

Working with a number of people he seems to value as frequent collaborators, writer-director Bennet De Brabandere arranges everything into an enjoyably subversive Christmas movie. When you think about each individual element - the "imaginary" friend, the plan to save Christmas/fix the past, a lead being targeted by others because of a strange belief - then you can see how well this plays around in the Christmas movie sandbox.

Lee is very good as Cole, a man who spends a lot of time arguing with himself, and someone only he can see, as he wrestles with his conscience while trying to correct a horrible mistake. Jackett is even better, particularly in the earlier scenes that have her character playing along with the kidnapping as she thinks it's a bizarre, but safe, way to make a point on social media. She's endearingly oblivious for a while, but comes around quickly enough to avoid looking like a complete idiot for the entire runtime. Grimes is perfectly gruff and direct as the titular spirit, Eman Ayaz (billed here as Charlotte Ayaz) is a lot of fun as Maggie's friend, Gina, and there are assorted supporting players, such as Alexander Nunez, Chris Handfield, Christian Potenza, Tavaree Daniel-Simms, and Enzo Massara (billed as Enzo Campa), all doing good work.

It's rough around the edges, and cannot always hide the low budget, but this does what it sets out to do very well. Okay, I didn't care so much about how things played out in the third act, but the very last scenes are as sweet and satisfying as any you will find in a thousand other Christmas movies, ensuring that I still had a smile onn my face as the end credits rolled.

7/10

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The Holdovers (2023)

Considering the fact that it's a Christmas movie, it's no surprise to see that The Holdovers was released in the USA just over a year ago (the wide release was in November 2023). What IS surprising, but sadly not unexpected, is the fact that the UK release was delayed until mid-January. As good or bad as the movie may be, few people feel the urge to rush out and see a Christmas movie once the main holiday season has been and gone. Now is the right time to watch The Holdovers, if you want the best experience with it anyway, but you can then choose to rewatch it whenever you like.

Paul Giamatti plays Paul Hunham, a teacher at an all-boys boarding school called Barton Academy. Drawing the short straw in the run up to the holiday season, Hunham ends up staying on the school premises over Christmas with those who aren't able to head home. A few stragglers need supervision, but the central group is eventually whittled down to Hunham, Mary Lamb (the cafeteria manager, and a grieving mother, played by Da'Vine Joy Randolph), and a smart, but depressed and troubled, student named Angus Tully (played by Dominic Sessa). Although these three wouldn't normally spend so much time together, they end up going through some good and bad experiences that bond and change them, for the better. 

You can spend a lot of time praising director Alexander Payne for making such an effort to emulate the look and feel of '70s movies here, helped in no small part by cinematographer Eigil Bryld. You can also praise his relationship with his cast members. Writer David Hemingson also deserves many compliments, especially when it comes to an insult delivered in the third act that is up there with the very best I have ever heard in any movie (and so delightfully unexpected that I burst out laughing the first time I heard it). But it's hard not to just shower this with love because of a perfect trio of central performances being rooted in a low-key tale of Christmas "redemption". Hunham is, in many ways, the Scrooge due to be visited by spirits, but the spirits who do their bit to transform him are still encased in living and breathing human flesh.

Giamatti has been delivering nothing but greatness for decades now, but his portrayal of Hunham easily ranks alongside his very best performances. He may have one lazy eye, achieved with the use of a special contact lens, but nothing else in the role can be described that way. Giamatti has a ball with a fully-rounded and wonderfully-flawed character, the teacher who eventually sees one or two things that he can learn from others. Sessa is almost just as good, and the real heart of the film shows teacher and student butting heads in between discovering common ground, but both men are overshadowed in a couple of scenes that allow Randolph to take your heart and yank it down to your knees as she struggles to contain or direct some of the despair she feels at the loss of her son. Carrie Preston is very sweet in her supporting role, Andrew Garman is the headmaster who gives Hunham his holiday caretaker role, and Gillian Vigman and Tate Donovan come along at the end of the movie just in time to underline the importance of the journey that our main characters have been on.

I've watched this twice now, and the second viewing was just as good as the first, but I am trying to consider one or two very minor criticisms that stop me from rating it as perfect. The runtime could have been cut down by a few minutes, it just never feels as if it has to be 133 minutes long, and one or two scenes don't feel like anything more than fun vignettes. And yet . . . and yet . . . I love every minute of this, and I love every scene. The vignettes still feature details that reveal even more about the characters, and about how their relationships develop throughout the movie. So, on second thoughts, my criticisms are not criticisms. And I'll rate this as perfect.

10/10

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Krampus: The Devil Returns (2016)

A sequel to Krampus: The Christmas Devil, this is also notable for being a complete waste of time. Yeah, that's all I want to say about it, but I'll have to spend some more time and energy coming up with a little bit more. If you don't want to waste your time, however, then just take away that first sentence.

There are a few films that just completely defeat me, and this is one of them. It's not nice to be so disparaging of someone's work, especially when you have to keep considering the many people it takes to get any film made, but a few lazy and cynical efforts deserve nothing more than scorn. If a film treats viewers with contempt then the feeling is allowed to be mutual.

The plot, slight and muddled as it is, concerns the ongoing troubles of an ex-cop named Jeremy Duffin (played by co-writer A. J. Leslie) and his hunt for a child-killing monster. That's all you need to know, and the film puts nothing else of interest in it, making the relatively short runtime feel as if it's stretching out into something epic and epically torturous.

With Jason Hull back for both directing and writing duties (assisted by Leslie in the latter department this time around) you would think that there may be some sign of growth from the first movie. There is not. This is a massive step down, in every way. The cast don't do good work, the writing is awful, and an attempt to make everything worthwhile with a third act twist just compounds the misery.

Aside from Leslie, acting-wise, you get Melantha Blackthorne, Tiffani Fest, Robbie Barnes, Paul Ferm, Ben Berlin, and a cameo from Shawn C. Phillips. None of them make a strong impression, certainly not a positive one anyway, and only Ferm and Berlin stand out thanks to bagging the roles of Santa and Krampus, respectively.

Despite my anger at this, and I AM angry at having wasted my time on this (something I don't feel too often, despite the wide range of movies I watch), I have tried not to resort to personal insults. I must say how happy I am that this currently remains the last feature directed by Hull, as well as the last, and only, feature that gives Leslie any writing credit. The two have worked together to deliver something truly dire, and it's hard to believe that they couldn't think of any ways to improve things even slightly.

Any film is a collaboration, and it's also the sum of a multitude of decisions. The fact that not one decision here feels like the right one is a damning condemnation of the attitudes and skillsets of those in charge. People who know me already should know that I try to see some good in everything. There are just over two dozen films that I have ever given the lowest possible rating to (from a rated selection of well over ten thousand). This joins that elite selection, and I hope others heed this review as a serious warning. Avoid at all costs.

1/10

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Prime Time: The Monster's Christmas (1981)

Let me start this review by saying that I cannot recommend this to anyone. It's too bizarre, and I'm not sure how well it will play to the younger viewers it is aimed at. Having said that, however, doesn't mean that I don't appreciate it. This 47-minute slice of strangeness benefits from having a complete commitment to the central idea that ensures you will know from the very first moments whether or not you will want to watch it to the end.

A young girl (Lucy McGrath) is reading a storybook in bed about a monster. She then sees that monster in her room, which leads her on an adventure involving other monsters, and a witch (Lee Hatherly) trying to do general, but not too scary, witchy stuff.

This is a fever dream. It's a project put together with lots of imagination and very little budget, going by the way the onscreen monsters are depicted, but that imagination and feeling of proper childish curiosity, and relative fearlessness, help it to become something strangely captivating. The Monster's Christmas takes viewers on a journey, and part of that journey passes by childhood moments when you were poised precisely between being awake and being fully asleep. Considering how many films fail to capture this feeling, there's something to appreciate here.

Writer Burton Silver doesn't need to do too much, keeping things very simple and loose. There's no need to maintain any sense of reality or worry about logic here, and Silver throws in whatever is needed to maintain the strange atmosphere that lasts from start to finish. Director Yvonne Mackay works well with the script, and also does a good job of marshalling her young lead through a world of goofy monsters and the mildest hints of danger.

Although overdoing things slightly, McGrath works well in her role because she feels exactly like the character she is portraying, a child at play. There's the moments of her speaking to herself in a way that explains part of her journey, moments of her exaggerating her behaviour to enhance her verbal communication with non-verbal cues, and a general sense of her being happy in a world of oddities she has been acclimatised to in storybook form. Hatherly is good fun as the witch, very much the non-threatening children's TV show version of such a character, and it's also worth applauding all of the performers who portray a few of the main monsters, hidden away under the weird and whacky costumes and make up.

I doubt I'll ever rewatch this, but I'll also never forget it. On the one hand, it's one of the most bizarre Christmas tales I've ever watched (and, believe me, I've watched many). On the other hand, it's absolutely on point when it comes to consistently nailing down the tone and atmosphere of a childish fantasy.

6/10

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Nutcrackers (2024)

I'll admit it, if I'd noticed that Nutcrackers was directed by David Gordon Green then I might not have made time for it during this holiday season. He's been on the "naughty list" for a while now, all thanks to his work on a couple of big horror franchises, and I wouldn't necessarily trust him to deliver a traditional Christmas movie. Nutcrackers isn't a traditional Christmas movie, and it doesn't entirely work, but it does have the spirit of the season buried in the middle of it. I'll admit that I was hit by an emotional punch in the final scenes.

Ben Stiller plays Michael, a very busy man who has to temporarily take care of his four nephews after the sudden death of his sister and her husband. Michael is ill-equipped for the situation, trying to prep for the big business deal of his life, and just wants things resolved and the boys rehomed as soon as possible. Gretchen Rice (Linda Cardellini) is the best person to help him in that regard, but it's tough to find a foster parent willing and read to take on all four siblings. Tying in with the movie title, a home-made ballet production looms large in the third act.

Written by Leland Douglas, who has more shorts than features making up his filmography so far, this is both a Christmas film and a concept film, with that concept being "unruly kids who can also do ballet". That works . . . eventually, but both Douglas and Green spend a bit too much time making things feel grimy and downbeat on the way to the expected Christmas cheer before the end credits roll. It's low-key and very grounded, in line with many other films made by Green, but that doesn't necessarily make for the most rewarding viewing experience when things are also working to a familiar template.

Stiller is good in the main role, doing the kind of uptight and slightly awkward guy that he's been able to do in his sleep for decades, and Cardellini is a ray of sunshine whenever she appears onscreen, but the young siblings, played by real brothers (Homer Janson, Ulysses Janson, Arlo Janson, and Atlas Janson) are a mixed bag, perhaps picked for reasons other than their acting skills. They're not terrible, but they feel a bit too rough around the edges, and they're given a bit too much leeway from Green, who clearly thought their personalities would win over viewers (sadly . . . not the case). At least you also get some decent supporting turns from Toby Huss and Edi Patterson.

I did manage to enjoy this, don't get me wrong, but it felt as if I had to work hard to meet it halfway. There were a lot of little improvements that could have been made. Fixing the tone would have helped, Green doesn't seem to find the right balance between the yule and the yuck, and having a more convincing bit of character development for Stiller, considering how suddenly everything seems to click into place when everyone remembers that the end credits are about to play. I also think the film would have benefited enormously from having more established actors portraying the four brothers.

5/10

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Mubi Monday: In Camera (2023)

The feature debut from writer-director Naqqash Khalid, In Camera has a number of familiar reference points, certainly when it comes to the exploration of a young actor struggling with the grind and toll of the audition process, but also adds an exploration of self-identity that allows it to feel fresh and more accessible.

Nabhaan Rizwan plays Aden, our main character, and he's struggling to keep his spirits up as he moves from one audition to the next, often trying to sell himself to disinterested assistants. Aden shares living space with Bo (Rory Fleck Byrne), a junior doctor who is also feeling the strain of his career choice, but they also take on another tenant in the form of Conrad (Amir El-Masry), a confident and energised young man who works in the realms of fashion and lifestyle branding. While initially wary of Conrad, Aden soon comes to learn that he can mimic some of his attitude to perhaps help him work on a better "fake it until you make it" approach.

If I mentioned the main films that came to mind while watching In Camera then I would risk creating some kind of expectation in your mind that the film itself may not necessarily meet. Suffice to say, two fairly well-known features from the last few decades kept looming large as I noticed intriguing intersections between them and this, but there's also every chance that other viewers will take something very different away from their viewing experience. This is a very personal story positioned in a world that is often impersonal. Despite us growing closer and more connected, in many ways, thanks to the internet, it's also just a way to provide extra barriers and obstacles, from ongoing comparisons to other people on Instagram to a bigger struggle to simply stop people being distracted by their phones. 

Khalid presents everything with the sense that he knows a lot of it from bitter personal experience. I may be jumping to the wrong assumption here, but there are exchanges, in dialogue and just in looks between characters, that stem from a life lived through far too many familiar moments of weariness and exasperation. He keeps everything intriguing though, especially in a second half that allows the lead character to start a slight and tentative transformation, and, while many moments speak to specific experiences, that specificity (as is so often the case) also creates a universal recognition for anyone who has been mistreated, taken for granted, dismissed, or constantly overlooked in favour of someone else.

Rizwan is fantastic in the lead role, confident and capable in his performance in a way that belies the fact that he's only been acting onscreen for just over half a decade now. It's the kind of performance that signifies even greater things to come. Both Byrne and El-Masry do very well, although both have easier and more straightforward characters to portray, and there's a very short sequence featuring Gana Bayarsaikhan that allows her to steal part of the movie with her inquisitive and empathetic character.

Smart, sharp, sometimes darkly comedic, In Camera has quite a faultless cast and crew working together to take viewers on a difficult, but rewarding, journey. It doesn't answer every question that it poses, but it provides enough material for viewers to consider a number of interpretations and decide on the ending that they deem to be the most satisfying.

8/10

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Netflix And Chill: Hot Frosty (2024)

While people may have been worried about Netflix making the bold move of "poaching" Lacey Chabert, AKA Christmas movie queen, for one of their main seasonal offerings this year, rest assured that there's nothing here to cause concern. Yes, there are a few bigger names in supporting roles than you might see in some other movies like this, and someone had enough cash to ensure a few big songs made it into the soundtrack selection, but the rest is pretty standard and safe stuff featuring someone who has played perfectly in the space that she has now made her main brand.

Chabert plays Kathy Barrett, a young widow who runs a popular cafe/diner in her small town. She is given a scarf by a friend one day, a scarf that may well bring her some good luck and love, and she wraps it around the neck of a strangely ripped snowman that stands alongside some others in the centre of town. A little tinkly music and hint of magic later, Jack (Dustin Milligan) is standing in that spot. And he's wearing naught but a scarf. He is in love with Kathy, for giving him life (of course), and starts trying to convince her that he is the perfect snowman-made-human for her. Meanwhile, the local Sheriff (Craig Robinson) and his deputy (Joe Lo Truglio) are looking for someone new in town who may have damaged a window and exposed himself to a couple of residents. 

Writer Russell Hainline doesn't seem to have been in the movie business for too long, although that's just going by the credits that he has amassed since 2018 (who knows how long he has been slogging away over numerous screenplays and trying his hand in a variety of roles), but he's certainly been busy delivering no less than five Christmas (TV) movies since 2022. Judging him by this alone, he knows the formula, and he knows how to have fun with it. Hot Frosty isn't entirely successful, it's surprisingly jarring to see both Robinson and Lo Trulgio in such prominent roles here, but it works well enough when not trying to turn the central character in a low-budget Buddy The Elf. 

Chabert is effortlessly delightful in the lead role, even when having to make a tiresome Mean Girls gag to justify the now-obligatory reference to other Netflix Christmas movies. Milligan does well as the innocent/naïve Jack, and he does well to bring a fun and energy to the role that saves him from being as irritatingly bland as many of these male romantic leads often are. Elsewhere, both Robinson and Lo Truglio are fun, even if they feel mis-cast, and there are enjoyable moments for the likes of Katy Mixon Greer, Sherry Miller, Lauren Holly, and everyone else orbiting our leads.

Director Jerry Ciccoritti is maybe not known for this kind of stuff, but he's been working consistently on TV shows and TV movies for the past few decades, after starting his career with some darker material in the mid-1980s. He is the very definition of a consummate professional, and subsequently treats the material here exactly how it should be treated. It's sweet, it's earnest, things are done to satisfy viewers who don't want to be distracted by pesky things like logic or plausibility, and it aims to give people a good helping of cold snow and warm loveliness, which I guess could also be referred to as a . . . Hot Frosty.

Like many of these Christmas movies, it's not really good, not when compared to other non-holiday movies, but it's enjoyable enough while all of the snow-dusted silliness plays out.

6/10

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Shudder Saturday: To Fire You Come At Last (2023)

While I appreciate the idea of Shudder allowing Kier-La Janisse the chance to curate a seasonal selection of short spooky tales, in the tradition of the Christmas ghost story best appreciated beside a roaring fire and inky darkness pressing at your windows, I am a bit bemused as to the timescale.* This is the first tale presented, and one will be added every year, apparently. So we'll have ten to choose from if the idea of The Haunted Season, as it has been named, lasts for an entire decade.

Written and directed by Sean Hogan (someone very much worth your time/support), this is the tale of four men carrying a coffin on a lonely stretch of road as the day is turning into night. There's the Squire Marlow (Mark Carlisle), a man grieving the fact that his son is the one being buried, Pike (Richard Rowden), an assistant to the squire, Holt (Harry Roebuck), a young man who was a friend of the deceased, and Ransley (James Swanton), a local often hired for the unpleasant task of coffin transportation. Nerves are frayed and tensions run high as this foursome move along with more than just a corpse weighing on their shoulders.

People may be more familiar with Hogan nowadays for his writing than his film work (but if you're unaware of his writing then you should really change that). I've been a fan of his since he impressed me on two different occasions over a decade ago, with his work on Little Deaths and the superbly spooky The Devil's Business. Both of those films deserve to be rediscovered and re-appraised, by the way. Anyway, Hogan knows how to create tales that can unnerve you and chill your bones, while at the same time keeping you intrigued and entertained. He focuses on dialogue and atmosphere, and then helps himself by making great use of cast members who seem to clearly relish the words they're entrusted with.

Although viewers haven't often seen him looking as he normally looks, Swanton is arguably the most well-known of the central performers here. Horror fans will have seen him embodying a great number of strange and dark characters over the past few years (it would be too easy to refer to him as the British Doug Jones, but it also wouldn't be too inaccurate), yet he has lots of fun here with a wonderfully theatrical performance that serves as a reminder of his excellent one-man turn in Frankenstein's Creature. Whether already familiar with him or not, Swanton makes himself the star of the piece, but he's nicely complemented by Carlisle, Roebuck, and Rowden, who all chew on the material with great gusto.

Hogan doesn't have too much to keep layering over the spooky core of the film, which explains why it's only a 43-minute short, but he sketches out the characters and the group dynamic with attention and care, giving viewers more to appreciate and chew over than can be found in most horror movies, whatever their length. If this is a taster of more to come from him in the film world, I remain very enthusiastic to see anything and everything else he wants to present. I might even end up rewatching this before the year is over.

7/10

*EDIT: Someone rightly pointed out to me that the BBC has been doing the same thing for many years, of course, but the timescale never feels problematic there because they already have a nice backlog to rewatch and enjoy.

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Dear Santa (2024)

Based on a joke that seems to have been around at least since I was born, which is fast coming up on half a century now, Dear Santa is, in a way, exactly what you'd expect a Christmas comedy from the Farrelly brothers to be. It's also one of their weaker efforts.

Robert Timothy Smith plays Liam Turner, a young boy with dyslexia who struggles to make friends and avoid embarrassment in most social situations. His bestie is Gibby (Jaden Carson Baker), a young boy who has his own social obstacle, simply due to having some large upper teeth. When Liam writes a letter to Santa he mis-spells the name of the recipient, leading to the letter instead being delivered to the fiery underworld. Which is where a devilish Jack Black comes into the picture. Much like a standard genie, he will offer Liam three wishes. Is there any catch? Of course there is, but it's easy for Liam to forget about that when he can get a chance to ask Emma (Kai Cech) out on a date, be friends with Post Malone, and maybe even fix whatever has become broken in the marriage of his parents (played by Brianne Howey and Hayes MacArthur).

Director Bobby Farrelly really seems unsure of what he wants to do here. The screenplay, by Ricky Blitt and Peter Farrelly (developing a story they created with Dan Ewen), doesn't help. Not only is it weak when compared to other Farrelly brother outings, it doesn't even manage to have fun with the Christmas spirit of it all. It doesn't help that it makes no sense, with rules being carefully spelled out near the start of the movie that are completely ignored by the frankly bizarre final scenes. There's some fun to be had, but it's thanks to a couple of fun set-pieces and the sweet screen presence of Smith.

Black does his usual thing, and he's amusing enough with it, but the younger cast members get to steal the movie by simply emphasising their relative innocence. Smith is endearingly hapless, Baker is very sweet, Cech is just the right kind of loveliness to make her seem worth the effort that Smith is making, and Post Malone has fun playing himself. Both Howey and MacArthur do well enough as the parents who have clearly gone through some kind of trauma that has affected the whole family, and P. J. Byrne, Keegan-Michael Key, and Cate Freedman add some laughs. There's also a fantastic cameo from Ben Stiller, just about recognisable despite all the make up he is wearing for his one scene.

Maybe others will enjoy this more than I did, and maybe I had my viewing experience shaded by considering the real-life tragedy that Bobby Farrelly experienced over a decade ago. Maybe those things are inextricably linked though. It certainly seems as if this is a very pointed film, which is another thing working against the comedy and silliness, and there's a lot of pain and hurt at the centre of it that cannot be easily pushed aside before the end credits roll. 

I guess that it sometimes takes more than a half-assed shart gag to counter-balance an exploration of the dark and deep wells of grief that we often have to carry around within us for far too many years.

4/10

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Terrifier 3 (2024)

So . . . I didn't love Terrifier. And I certainly didn't love Terrifier 2. I've not really been a fan of the combination of Damien Leone and Art the Clown since All Hallow's Eve. Which means that I can understand why people would question why I would even give Terrifier 3 the time of day. Well, first of all, I keep hoping for the series to reach the potential it has. Second, it's important to actually watch every movie that you want to have an opinion on. If I disliked, or dismissed, Terrifier 3 without even watching it then people could quite rightly ignore my ignorant take on it. Every unwatched movie has a chance to be great, no matter what you thought of any prequels, sequels, or other elements connected to it. Oh, and I saw that it was basically a Christmas horror movie, and I do like to add any new Christmas horror movies to my schedule at this time of year.

In a way that almost completely proves my point, Terrifier 3 turns out to be the best of the series so far. I'm not sure if a full plot summary is required here. Art the Clown (played once again by David Howard Thornton) ends up on another killing spree, accompanied by the seriously mutilated Victoria (Samantha Scaffidi). It's surely only a matter of time until they relocate the plucky Sienna (Lauren LaVera), who is now living with her uncle and aunt (played by Bryce Johnson and Margaret Anne Florence, respectively).

Whether Leone now has more freedom and scope to play around, or whether the film is simply helped enormously by juxtaposing the bloodshed of Art with the festive decor of Christmas, Terrifier 3 is almost as great as I always wanted the series to be. The gore and nastiness are still there, and those seeking it out will be satisfied, but there's a gleeful tone to the carnage that makes it a much better viewing experience. While I have been impressed by the extended torture and kill scenes in previous instalments in this series, they were often undeniably grim. This has a playfulness to it that helps to break up the vomit-inducing gore gags. The script still needs some work, it's too long and gets a bit tiresome when interrupting the flow of the whole thing to build the mythology of the series, but it's a step up from everything else that came before it.

The cast, aside from Thornton, Scaffidi, and LaVera, are largely irrelevant. They're not bad, far from it, but they're all available to be potential victims of Art, and they just don't get any chance to steal any scenes away from the three main cast members who spend the majority of the runtime as sides of a triangle that viewers know will be fully formed before the end credits roll. There are also some fun cameos, including Jason Patric, Tom Savini, and Chris Jericho, but the other names worth mentioning are the legendary Clint Howard and Daniel Roebuck, with the latter portraying the Santa actor who finds himself in big trouble when Art takes a liking to his beard and traditional garb.

If Leone can find a way to do this again, make use of Art in a way that skewers something traditionally full of good feeling and warmth, then he might be able to take this series from strength to strength. Maybe have Art hiding out in a religious community, or pretending he has been asked to teach mime to kindergarten kids, or maybe interrupting dates on Valentine's Day with people thinking he is about to deliver a message of love before he instead delivers painful death. You get the idea. Art works best when he is being dark AND silly, and dark and silly works best when shown alongside something light and earnest.

7/10

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Prime Time: A Very British Christmas (2019)

It's not surprising to see that this is the only feature, to date, written (well . . . co-written) by Karl Hall. It is surprising to see that it's not the only feature directed by Steven Nesbit though. A Very British Christmas feels like one of those personal projects that someone does to get their friends and family together and have a bit of fun. It's not very good, but I would also not dismiss it as completely terrible.

Rachel Shenton plays the beautiful opera singer, Jessica, who ends up stranded in a small Yorkshire village. She ends up staying at the vacation site managed by Andrew (Mark Killeen), receiving a warm welcome from him, his young daughter (Katie, played by Isla Cook), and his mother (Sandra, played by Michele Dotrice). There are also friendly faces at the local coffee shop. Unfortunately, the area is under threat from Ben Ritchie (Steve Evets), who is pressuring Andrew into selling his land to a mining company. That would be a nice payday for both men, but it would effectively destroy the village. Jessica ends up spending more time in the village than anticipated, and she starts to be won over by the place. And the people.

Aside from a fun turn from Evets (real name Steven Murphy, he picked a palindrome when he started acting because of another Steve Murphy being in the business), the biggest problem with A Very British Christmas is the standard of the acting. Nobody is really helped by the script either, but it's hard to consider whether or not this cast would have done much better with better writing. The two main leads aren't that bad, and both of them are able to keep sneaking glances at one another with an obvious hint of the feelings developing between them, but Cook mugs terribly as the cute and unfiltered child, Dotrice looks as if she's trying to remember how to nail her emotions and dialogue, and Jennifer Bryer and Adam Fogerty, both working in the coffee shop, are hampered by the fact that they're given the job of being involved in scenes that mishandle some quirky comedy. Paul Barber is fun to spot in a cameo, but that's mainly because you can wonder about his familiarity until you remember that he was Denzil in Only Fools And Horses.

Nesbit tries to make the best of things, occasionally distracting viewers from the weak screenplay with some lovely shots of the picturesque village setting or moments infused with the warming glow of lovely Christmas spirit, and both he and Hall know what needs to happen within the parameters of this kind of easygoing and predictable Christmas movie, but the combination of weak writing and awkward acting do enough to stop this from being an undemanding distraction. There are so many other films you can choose while getting on with the usual seasonal activities, whether you're wanting background noise or a firm favourite that you can check in and out of for the "greatest hits", and I doubt that anyone will even remember that this exists within a few years . . . except for the cast members who may hang on to their personal copies and remind people that they have at least one IMDb credit to their name.

4/10

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Red One (2024)

If you're going to be responsible for kidnapping Santa Claus (played here by J. K. Simmons) then you would probably hope to avoid being pursued by Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans. Okay, wait, I know some people would dream of that scenario, but let's just say that no villain wants to be caught by powerful heroes, especially if they're trying to make up for decades of Santa's apparent leniency towards those who should be, or are, on the naughty list.

Johnson is Callum Drift, the head of security for Santa. Which makes it a terrible time for him when the big guy is kidnapped. Who would do such a despicable thing? Drift doesn't know, nor does Zoe (a capable higher-level boss, played by Lucy Liu), but there's one person who might be able to help. He's a lost cause though, a "naughty-lister" of the highest order who also happens to be very good at tracking people down. That's Jack O'Malley (Evans).

Written by Chris Morgan, who has taken some ideas from Hiram Garcia and sprinkled them with the kind of muscular moments that you'd expect from someone who has been in the writer's room for at least half a dozen Fast & Furious movies, Red One is loud and ridiculous in a way that may well cause some to love it, but didn't really work for me. There are one or two fun set-pieces (you'll know them already if you saw the trailer), but not enough to make this truly worth the runtime that clocks in at just over 2 hours. And it doesn't help that Johnson is armed with a gadget that allows him to pull some Ant-Man maneuvers. Very little of the humour works (especially in the earlier scenes), the action gets messier and harder to keep track of in the third act, and there's a general sense of being underwhelmed throughout the finale.

Director Jake Kasdan obviously found this premise appealing - some more Johnson silliness after their work together on the Jumanji movies, but with lots of seasonal trimmings - and I don't begrudge him giving it a try, but he seems to have been distracted by the idea of presenting a modern and cool new yuletide "classic" that he failed to spot the many weaknesses. Things don't flow well, the tone lacks a sweetness and innocence that the best Christmas films keep at their core, and the best bits don't necessarily feel as if they need to be grounded in a Christmas movie. 

Johnson plays the kind of character he always plays (tough and mean, but with a heart of gold), although he deserves some praise for being able to move around in this onscreen world in a way that makes him feel as if he does belong there. Evans has fun being someone with a much wobblier moral compass, but it's a fun inversion (another one) of his clean-cut image that is never fully committed to. Simmons is a surprisingly good, if also surprisingly muscular, Santa, Liu does perfectly well with her small role, Bonnie Hunt is a pleasant Mrs. Claus, and Kristofer Hivju is a lot of fun whenever his Krampus character appears. Other familiar faces include Mary Elizabeth Ellis, Nick Kroll, Marc Evan Jackson, and Kiernan Shipka, all doing just fine, and Wesley Kimmel is decent enough in the role of Dylan, the son of Jack O'Malley, and the one main child who ends up seeing some of the magical battle to return order to things in time for Christmas. I'll also mention the work from Reinaldo Faberlie as Agent Garcia, a large and intimidating polar bear. Overall, the cast isn't bad. I'm just not sure that the leads couldn't have been replaced by better choices, which could have then led to a screenplay being tweaked and improved to fit different personas.

I could sit through this again. I didn't hate it while it was playing. Nothing stands out though. It's the movie equivalent of the overdone musical Christmas tree. Bright, loud, somehow seeming to miss the point of the season while bathing the whole room in flashes of red, green, and gold light. But sometimes you can still look at it and enjoy the temporary distraction.

5/10

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Mubi Monday: Gloria (2013)

It turns out that I am quite the fan of director Sebastián Lelio, who also co-wrote this screenplay with Gonzalo Maza. In fact, it turns out that the only film that I have seen from him and thoroughly disliked is the remake of this. Maybe I just wasn't able to appreciate it when I watched it, or maybe the entire premise of the movie is undermined when you get someone like Julianne Moore cast in the lead role.

Gloria is all about Gloria (Paulina García), funnily enough. She is a woman of a certain age, trying to enjoy a time in her life when she can be a bit more free-spirited and confident in her relationships. Trying to enjoy some time with Rodolfo (Sergio Hernández), Gloria soon finds that not everyone at her age has the same approach to life. Some people just aren't ready to move forward without carrying ALL of the baggage from their past with them, either due to a sense of obligation or due to having that baggage available as an excuse whenever they want to provide some distance between themselves and anyone else trying to get close.

While I was critical of the remake because of how lightweight it seemed, Gloria shows that the cast is the only major difference between two interpretations of the material. That makes all the difference though. Whereas Julianne Moore appears onscreen and is Julianne Moore (a damn fine actress, but familiar and able to turn her star power on or off, depending on the role), García feels much more like the character. I don't want to be dismissive of her body of work, but she feels much less like a star and more in line with who Gloria is, the type of unglamorous and natural older woman who isn't often depicted in movies. The rest of the cast do equally well, and there are more people involved in a number of scenes, but the focus remains on Gloria and Rodolfo, which makes the excellence of Hernández in that role so important. Whether you think he is being too caring or too cowardly, Rodolfo is very much a reflection of many people at his stage in life.

Lelio keeps things pretty unfussy, allowing the screenplay to be elevated by the leads, who do as much in moments of silence as they do with the dialogue. There's satisfaction here, but it's not necessarily the kind of satisfaction you get from movies that are building to a standard release of tension in the final act. This is satisfaction derived from watching someone consider their self-worth and firmly decide on whatever could be the key to their own happiness. It also makes great use of a popular song with the same name as the main character. If I wanted to recommend a film from this director then I would recommend others ahead of this one, but Gloria is a rewarding watch, especially for those who have lived enough life to understand that cutting through the BS and believing in yourself is much better for you than trying to please everyone else while you miss out on your own happiness.

7/10

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Netflix And Chill: Meet Me Next Christmas (2024)

While they may not be the first names you think of when you consider the selection of entertainment that specifically aims to keep people pleasantly distracted during the festive season, both Christina Milian and Pentatonix have done enough in the past decade or so (well . . . make that two for Milian, who starred in Snowglobe back in 2004) to make them quite comfortable alongside all of the expected holly jolly trimmings.

Milian stars as Layla, a young woman who bumps into a very handsome man named James (Kofi Siriboe) at an airport. The two of them form the kind of immediate and strong connection that should lead to a fantastic love story. That cannot happen though. Layla has a boyfriend, Tanner (Brendan Morgan). James offers to let fate decide for them, and he suggests that they meet at the Pentatonix Christmas concert in a year . . . IF they are both single at that time. Considering how much of an obstacle to the plot Tanner would be, it's no surprise to find him out of the picture just in time for Layla to try and reunite with James, but the problem is that she didn't buy any Pentatonix tickets. She ends up hiring a young concierge (Teddy, played by Devale Ellis) to try and help her Christmas dream come true. Is Teddy up to the task though? And is Layla sure that James is the right man for her anyway?

While your enjoyment of this will depend on how much a capella singing you can stand, and at least Pentatonix allow themselves to be the butt of one or two very gentle jokes, the cast all do a very good job at keeping viewers on their side. That's easy enough for Siriboe, who is offscreen for most of the movie, but both Milian and Ellis make their rapport and interactions feel enjoyably effortless. Nikki Duval is fun, playing the beleaguered assistant who has to put up with random harmonising from Pentatonix, and Kalen Allen enters the proceedings just when it needs another shot of energy. Everyone knows what is expected from them, and they generally exceed those expectations.

While I'm unfamiliar with writers Molly Haldeman and Camilla Rubis, who don't have too many writing credits to their names, both do well enough when it comes to delivering a rom-com full of obstacles on the way to the enjoyably predictable ending. I have seen some other work from director Rusty Cundieff, but none of it would have made me think of him as a capable pair of hands for this type of fare. Which just shows how much I know. A) He's already done a couple of other movies in this vein, and B) he handles the material with a great instinct for making it work the best it can.

It doesn't feel too obviously cheap, unlike so many other Christmas "TV movies", it has a couple of genuinely enjoyable set-pieces, and there is an attempt to at least add one or two wrinkles to the standard formula. If you don't mind the acting from Pentatonix, who would do better if they just stuck to the singing, then you should have fun with this. If you do mind them though . . . well, probably best to look elsewhere for easygoing festive fun.

6/10

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