Shudder Saturday: The Surrender (2025)

There are a couple of obvious reference points for The Surrender, and it definitely brought to mind a couple of celebrated horror movies that I haver enjoyed in the past few years. The good news is that The Surrender does enough in the third act to separate itself from those other films. The bad news is that it feels like a bit of a slog to get there.

When Robert (Vaughn Armstrong) dies, his wife (Barbara, played by Kate Burton) and daughter (Megan, played by Colby Minifie) are left in a temporary vacuum created by their loss and grief. But a vacuum is always ready to be filled, and Megan finds out that her mother has a plan to communicate again with her deceased husband. As all of us horror fans know, however . . . sometimes dead is better.

The feature debut of writer-director Julia Max, what we have here is something that shows a hell of a lot of promise. There are quiet interactions between loved ones that feel very real, there are memories presented that are repeated in a way that authentically evoke that way people can become so easily fixated on one moment that can be viewed as both a comfort and a wound, and the scarier scenes, when we finally get to them, are very well done.

Max gives us enough (too much?) time with the main characters as they first struggle with caring for someone clearly nearing the end of their life, and then start to process their feelings once that life is over. Barbara has her plan, and a person who can apparently enable it/her (a man played by Neil Sandilands), but there are moments that will be recognisable to anyone who has had to spend some time figuring things out after the loss of a loved one. 

Everything is helped by the fact that both Burton and Minifie are so good in their main roles. Both have done very good work throughout their various filmographies, and Minifie will be very familiar to anyone who has enjoyed The Boys recently, but their performances here are helped by how they really manage to feel like a mother and daughter. Minifie gets more to do, at one point even effectively stepping into one of her own key memories, but the film relies on the push and pull between them to set up everything delivered in the finale. Sandilands has a considerable presence onscreen, and is perfect in his role, while Armstrong proves more than capable of looking frail throughout most of his scenes, and Pete Ploszek, Alaina Pollack, and Chelsea Alden also do very good work, portraying younger versions of the main characters. 

This is solid stuff. It's material that is handled with a mature and fairly sensitive approach, and it still delivers enough before the end credits roll to keep most horror fans happy. It's just a shame that it comes so close to some other, arguably better, modern horrors. SO close, in fact, that I'm deliberately not mentioning them by name here, as to do so would potentially spoil some of the treats that this eventually serves up.

6/10

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Horror In The High Desert 2: Minerva (2023)

Having only very recently dived in to Horror In The High Desert, I thought it best to start making my way through the sequels before I forgot anything about the lore that was established. Unfortunately, I was already too late. It has only been about eight months since I saw that first film, but I'd already forgotten anything that may have been memorable about it. The good news is that this sequel reminds you of the final scenes from that first movie. The bad news is that nothing here matches it.

Exploring a couple of different, and seemingly unrelated, disappearances that happen to have taken place in an area very close to the one explored in the first film. That's really all you need to know. Things are teased, and more things are teased, and it all essentially feels like one shaggy dog story that's been spun out to prepare you for the next instalment in the series, which may or may not be a continuation of the teasing.

While writer-director Dutch Marich does a great job of recreating the documentary format with a mix of authenticity and just the right little details to keep viewers invested, for the most part, he makes a crucial mistake here in leading viewers further away from having one central character to stay close to. The two main characters that we end up spending time with here are two separate individuals who may as well be named "next victim" and "next victim 2". There are some good individual moments, but nothing really feels as if the narrative is moving forward until the very end of the film.

If I didn't already know that this film series was appreciated by one or two friends of mine then I wouldn't be driven to carry on with it. Okay, that's a lie, the OCD part of my brain would insist that I finished what I had started. I wouldn't have any optimism though. But this seems to be a low point, or maybe just didn't work for me as well as it worked for others, and the next instalment, as set up in the last scene here, looks as if it could add some meta-layering that might be enough to draw me further into the dark and twisty storyline unfolding onscreen.

While I didn't hate this, it didn't really work for me as well as I hoped it would. None of the scares were very effective, although there's one moment that resonates with real anguish and trauma in a way that makes it a disturbing highlight of the entire film, I started to lose interest in where the journey was taking me until it seemed to get back on track in the third act, and I feel as if I've been served up a place-holder instead of a proper feature. And if I wanted that feeling I would have revisited one of the Phase 4 Marvel movies released in the past few years. 

4/10

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The People's Joker (2024)

It happened. At long last. I had been wanting a way, any (legal) way, to watch, and support, The People's Joker since I first heard about it last year. The opportunity finally came my way with a limited online event, allowing me to rent both the film and a Q & A between writer-director Vera Drew and Grant Morrison. I hoped it would live up to my expectations, and I am happy to say that it exceeded them.

Working around the main line of "you want to know how I got these emotional scars?", The People's Joker is a wild and brilliant exploration of gender, self-expression, and the very obvious appeal to those who feel "othered" of comic book characters who spend a lot of their time processing their own trauma while writhing around in leather and/or latex. It has been said many times lately, because it is very true, but when others are trying to erase your existence from the world then simply living your life is a wonderful act of rebellion. Vera Drew, portraying the lead character of Joker The Harlequin here, embraces that ethos, and uses the meta-layering of the film to present an astonishingly authentic and anarchic version of a character others have sometimes struggled with.

Co-written by Drew and Brie LeRose, this is a film as defiant as the woman at the helm of it. Considering all of the legal ramifications and constant dancing around (and over and under) copyright, all of which is acknowledged at both the start and end of the film, this feels like a bizarre collage that shouldn't exist. Drew claims "fair use", a canny tactic as her appropriation of the famous DC characters are being used to depict and explore her journey through life, but I have to think that she's also been allowed to keep her vision intact thanks to those who saw the film and recognised the brilliance of the central conceit. There are a number of intertwining main strands here that intertwine on the way to the final scenes. We see Drew struggling to communicate her feelings to her mother (Lynn Downey). We see Drew figuring out, and deciding whether to embrace or smother, her persona, Joker The Harlequin. The character also falls for a certain Mr. J (Kane Distler), who comes with a large number of red flags. And then there's an ongoing worry about the long-term effects of Smylex, the "miracle drug" that definitely has no insidious side-effects whatsoever.

It's hard to praise this without sounding hyperbolic, but it's an interconnected series of insightful skits that feels absolutely masterful in how it weaves together comedy, pathos, commentary, and IP. A few of the jokes may seem a bit obvious, but most of them are smart and genuinely funny. All of the performances work as they need to with the material, with Drew being a fantastic anchor for the whole thing, and highlights include Downey, Lister, Nathan Faustyn (as Penguin), Trevor Drinkwater (The Riddler), and a very special cameo from one Mr. Boop. Various goons make trouble, "Batsy" (voiced by Phil Braun) is amusingly mocked, and Lorne Michaels (voiced by Maria Bamford) seems to fit nicely alongside anyone else who could be perceived as either a superhero or super-villain.

The effects all work well, whether being obviously fake and cheesy or being used to complement the main action as seamlessly as possible, there are some impressive bits of animation, and the end result feels exactly like what it is - a collaboration between many artists and like-minded individuals in service of one unifying vision. It's also worth mentioning the superb score from Justin Krol and Quinn Scharber, but I'll also compliment Laura Wheeler (costume design), Nate Cornett (cinematography), Courtney McIntosh (production designer), and everyone else who came together to deliver us a brilliantly unique experience.

You may not love this as much as I did, but I'm pretty sure you won't have seen anything else like it. I really hoped to enjoy this. The more I think on it, the more I view it as a modern masterpiece. 

10/10

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Prime Time: Lady Macbeth (2016)

Okay, first thing's first, in the interest of clarity and transparency, I rewatched another film last night that I was going to review today for the standard Prime Time slot. And then I found that I had already written a full review for it. I thought it was one I was due to rewatch, but that turned out not to be the case. So I had to regroup. This morning. Now. Lady Macbeth is available as a free choice on Prime IF you are able to grab a 7-day free trial for the BFI Player. I wouldn't usually make it an option for this particular review slot, but desperate times require desperate measures. Normal service should resume shortly.

Everyone knows that Florence Pugh is a star nowadays, and many people will have realised that from quite early on in her career, but I remember the first time I was impressed by her versatility and presence. I had seen three films in the spaces of a few weeks, all featuring her in a main role, and I could have easily been watching three different actresses. Those films were Midsommar, Fighting With My Family, and this one, Lady Macbeth.

Pugh plays Katherine Lester here, a woman who we see trapped in a loveless marriage. There's a decent estate, but that's all. Things look due to improve slightly, however, when Katherine's husband (Alexander, played by Paul Hilton) and her father-in-law (Boris, played by Christopher Fairbank) head off for a while. That allows Katherine to enjoy some freedom, which also allows her to enjoy some carnal pleasure with one of the workers, Sebastian (Cosmo Jarvis). Secret trysts don't always stay secret for long though, and the stage is set for some treachery, murder, and some souls to be forever stained with blood.

Based on a book by Nikolai Leskov, adapted into feature film form by Alice Birch, who made a hell of a debut here and has then gone from strength to strength throughout the last decade, Lady Macbeth is also the first feature from director William Oldroyd. It seems to have been a perfect convergence of emerging talent, allowing the central trio of director, writer, and star to create something phenomenal without any weight of expectation. It's a slow and quiet film, with many shots composed to create visuals that wouldn't look out of place in a portrait gallery, but it's also constantly enthralling as it builds intensity on the way to what everyone expects to be a dark and downbeat final act.

Pugh is perfect in her role, moving deftly from oppressed to oppressor with grace and a mounting strength. It would be easy for her performance to overshadow the others, but praise is also due to Jarvis, Hilton, Fairbank, Naomi Ackie (playing another staff member, Anna), Golda Rosheuvel, and Anton Palmer for working so well with the material that they still feel as if they matter, even when it becomes clear that those around our leading lady are there to be manipulated and dealt with by our leading lady.

While there are few susprises in the material, it's certainly laid out for you in the title of the film, the treats come from how it is all presented. There's a nice balance of dirt and polish, helped by Ari Wegner's cinematography, as well as the entire team behind the camera. The wonderfully ominous music from Dan Jones also helps, underpinning what basically feels like a fresh spin on a very familiar tale with a darkness that resonates through even the very occasional moments of light and fresh air.

Those who may have been put off by the title, perhaps thinking it would be something too beholden to the language of Shakespeare, should shrug off that wariness. This is a stunning modern classic that is well worth your time.

9/10

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U. S. Marshals (1998)

Considering the success of The Fugitive, and the fact that a number of scenes were stolen by Tommy Lee Jones working the case with his colleagues, it was inevitable that people would try to come up with a sequel. You can't just frame Dr. Richard Kimble (Harrison Ford) again though, so what do you do? You get someone else who ends up on the run while declaring that they're actually an innocent party. Tommy Lee Jones (as Samuel Gerard) and co. are all back, joined for a large chunk of their investigation by Robert Downey Jr., and Wesley Snipes is the fugitive being hunted.

Neither writer John Pogue nor director Stuart Baird have filmographies full of features that would inspire confidence in anyone knowing that they were given responsibility for this. While the first film took an enjoyably simple premise and interspersed the cat and mouse narrative with some truly brilliant set-pieces (set-pieces that hold up today as prime examples of superior blockbuster movie moments), U. S. Marshals makes things needlessly complicated, scatters around a trail of breadcrumbs that viewers won't care to see followed, and only has one moment that comes even close to anything in the first movie. Pogue makes the mistake of thinking that Jones alone can carry the movie (as much as I like him, he isn't up to that task), and that Snipes can make a decent replacement for Ford (as much as I like him, he also isn't up to that task).

The supporting cast provide all of the treats here, although I am not saying that either Jones or Snipes are bad. They're just stuck with providing a centrepiece for something that doesn't allow them to work at their best. Downey Jr. is fun though, although his character development is as predictable as you might expect Downey Jr. to be saddled with at about this time, and Joe Pantoliano, Daniel Roebuck, Tom Wood, and LaTanya Richardson remain a loyal and talented group working for the determined Gerard. They also seem to be having fun with their roles, in contrast to the two leads who seem far less comfortable working within the confines of the blockbuster requirements.

The best way to describe everything else her is lacklustre. From the plotting and dialogue to the editing and production design, from the cinematography to the Jerry Goldsmith score, there's just nothing here that feels as if it was made with care and enthusiasm. I'm not saying that's the case, it just isn't conveyed to viewers. 

If you have recently watched The Fugitive and you are wondering what to watch next for the same mix of thrills, tension, verbal sparring, and spectacle, I would have to tell you to just rewatch The Fugitive. Or, as I have said before when reviewing it, be sure to make some time for In The Line Of Fire (which is a bit darker, but no less brilliant in terms of star-powered thriller fare). This sequel is probably already forgotten by most people anyway. If I have reminded you of it just now, and if you're now curious, then I can only apologise and encourage you to forget it again ASAP.

4/10

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Mubi Monday: Mon Oncle (1958)

Considering how long it has taken me to get around to, and fully appreciate, the comedy greatness of Jacques Tati, I will not be offended at all by anyone choosing to simply overlook my reviews of any of his films. I certainly have nothing majorly insightful or intelligent to add to the conversation, but I've never let that stop me before.

The slim plot once again sees Monsieur Hulot being rather perplexed by elements of modern life, this time in the shape of all the mod-cons present when he visits his sister (Adrienne Servantie), brother-in-law (Jean-Pierre Zola), and his young nephew, Gérard (Alain Bécourt). 

Once again collaborating with a couple of other writers (Jacques Lagrange, who worked on all four of the Hulot features, and Jean L'Hôte), Tati may be presenting the exploits of Hulot in colour this time, but everything else is the same as you'd expect. Monsieur Hulot remains surprisingly calm as things around him often go awry, there are many scenes that are shot from a distance that allows viewers to watch the characters flit and whirl around one another in the dance that is modern living, and a number of gags revolve around technology and the difficult time that Hulot has adjusting to it.

The more I see of Tati, the more I appreciate everything that he does in service of the comedy. No one character or exchange is too slight, and even the thinnest of threads can be spun into pure gold. The weaker moments here are the times when Hulot is with Gérard, but even those scenes have enough little gems in them to keep you chuckling away in between the many other highlights.

Although it is slightly irritating to feel so late to the party, in terms of the films themselves and recognising the huge influence of Tati on other comedians and film-makers, I am just happy to now be in the know. Every day is a school day, and I am delighted to have been taught some brilliant lessons on comedy by this master of the form.

While I rate this just a tad below the two other Hulot movies I have seen so far, it’s still absolutely near the top of the comedy tree.

8/10

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Netflix And Chill: Romeo Must Die (2000)

Trying to create a glossy start vehicle around a Chinese star who is far more physically talented than most Hollywood leads? Check. Making use of a first-time director who should be able to work to the template ordered by a superstar producer? Check. A hit song on the soundtrack that holds up better than the film itself? Check. Romeo Must Die is many things, and not all of them good, but it's kind of comforting to watch nowadays and recognise how the decisions were made. 

This may be directed by Andrzel Bartkowiak, and it may star Jet Li in the lead role, but it feels very much like a film guided by Joel Silver. You get a very basic and predictable plot, you get action scenes that veer between brilliantly showcasing the talents of Li and then obscuring those talents with horrible editing and enhancement choices, and you get a few cast members who are doing far better work than the material deserves.

I'm not going to detail the whole plot here. It's easy enough to follow, despite seeming quite convoluted at times. Needless to say, Li plays Han Sing, a man who ends up travelling to America when he hears about the death of his brother. It turns out that a couple of major players are clashing with one another as they head towards a life-changing business deal. One side is headed up by Han's father (played by Henry O). The other side is headed up by Trish O' Day's father (Isaak, played by Delroy Lindo). Oh, Trish O'Day is played by Aaliyah, and she's a real highlight in the middle of all the nonsense. It's not long until Han is upsetting people simply by being on the scene, particularly Maurice (Anthony Anderson) and Mac (Isaiah Washington), two people who are employed by Isaak.

After introducing Jet Li to American audiences in Lethal Weapon 4, it feels fair enough that producer Joel Silver would then follow that up with a leading role for such an impressive "new" talent. The fact that an American movie wouldn't be able to make the best use of Li is neither here nor there. The important thing was to get him packaged and sold to mainstream audiences, and this certainly managed that, leading to Li at least getting some extra exposure that he might have otherwise missed out on. This isn't a good film, but it feels like everyone was certainly trying to make something in service to Li.

Aside from our action man at the heart of it, Lindo is another highlight. He always is, but his presence here is enough to keep the film alive when it could have easily been dead within the first 20 minutes. Anderson is amusingly annoying, Washington impresses with his constant swagger, and D. B. Woodside, Russell Wong, and DMX all make an impression, even if they have relatively little screentime compared to the core group of characters. And then there's Aaliyah, making her feature film debut. I am sure that we would have seen many more acting performances from her, had her life not been ended at a very young age in a tragic accident, but this is definitely one of the better singer-turned-actor turns that we saw at this time. The fact that her next, and only other, film role was Queen Of The Damned is not something I will hold against her, especially when she does what she can to make that film bearable.

The 115-minute runtime could be paced better, there are a couple of weird effects that feel very much tied to the time period (showing injuries in some kind of x-ray vision is an odd, and poor, choice), and too many moments have Li defying the laws of nature, but there's still enough fun to be had here if you're after some slick and silly action movie entertainment. And then you can start working back through Jet Li's filmography to start seeing the many better movies that he's starred in.

5/10

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Shudder Saturday: Fréwaka (2025)

You may not love Fréwaka, you may not like it as much as I did (I didn't love it, but I did like a lot of what it set out to do), but if you're a horror movie fan then it's about time you started to remember the name Aislinn Clarke, a talented Irish writer-director who is now two for two when it comes to features. Her debut feature, The Devil's Doorway, seems to be a bit forgotten already, but maybe people will start to rediscover it on the back of this, a film which takes a very different approach to subject matter that ends up ultimately commenting on the same cultural and historical bloodstains that her first film explored.

Clare Monnelly plays Shoo, a woman who ends up sent to look after Peig (Bríd Ní Neachtain), a recovering stroke victim who also has delusions and paranoia. Is Peig affected by illness, or is she simply more aware of a very real threat around her that others can't always see? As things start to become more strange, Shoo has to struggle to maintain her own grip on a situation that brings up some startling revelations and a necessary exploration of her own family.

I don't want to reveal too much about Fréwaka, although some will think I have done so already, and I don't want to bang on about the aspects that seemed most intriguing to me, considering they could just as easily be dismissed by other viewers. Suffice to say, it's a layered and effective psychological horror that can be viewed through a number of different lenses. Clarke is comfortable enough with her material to remove ambiguity, but she's also canny enough to leave many things unseen, which allows everyone to have their own interpretation of things, whether it is the characters dealing with other characters or viewers dissecting the final scenes and considering the implications. That may sound like a paradox, but I believe that things end definitively, yet also includes wiggle room if you want to pick and choose what to take literally, and who you do or don't believe.

Monnelly is very good in the lead role, and her character is suitably kept on the back foot throughout most of the runtime. She is clearly processing a lot of baggage, but also trying to do her best for those who are relying on her. Neachtain is also very good, and quite obviously in possession of some extra knowledge that gives her an advantage over her "carer", for a while anyway. There aren't too many other characters you need to keep track of, but Aleksandra Bystrzhitskaya does well with her all-too-brief amount of screentime, and comes in and out of the narrative just enough to make her very last scene surprisingly effective and impactful.

I know that I have been annoyingly vague about this, but I want other people to discover it without any preconceptions. It's not going to terrify you, nor is it going to make you jump, but it builds a great atmosphere of strangeness and dread throughout, culminating in a finale that should satisfy those who have been taking note of the lore being presented throughout the rest of the runtime. And, as the end credits rolled, I knew that I would happpily rewatch it any time, and I knew that I was long overdue trying to convince everyone else of what a great talent Clarke is. 

8/10

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Mission: Impossible -The Final Reckoning (2025)

Let me tell you how old I am. I'm old enough to remember when Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning was titled Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One. I loved it, and I didn't even think about the problems that might be lying ahead for those aiming to satisfyingly complete the one grand action epic that could serve as a jewel in the crown of the series. Unfortunately, there were problems. Not only did the film not perform as well as expected, it was stuck with a weak human villain and a ridiculous non-human obstacle to be overcome.

I still had faith though. Of course I did. Tom Cruise has enjoyed taking things to another level in his successful working relationship with writer-director Christopher McQuarrie (writing once again with Erik Jendresen for this adventure).

I don't want to spend too much time on the plot. It feels needlessly complex, but it's actually quite simple. Ethan Hunt (Cruise) needs to get the gang back together. That gang now comprises of Luther (Ving Rhames), Benji (Simon Pegg), Grace (Hayley Atwell), Paris (Pom Klementieff), and one or two other familiar faces. The latest mission is the same as it was in the first part of this two-parter, despite the title change and exposition dump at the start of this film. Gabriel (Esai Morales) needs to be apprehended, and the dangerous AI, still stupidly referred to as The Entity, needs to be stopped. Time is running out though, and The Entity will very soon be able to wipe out humanity once it has control of every major nuclear weapon facility.

I'm going to be quite negative about this, but I should clarify now that there are moments here that are fantastic. Two set-pieces make this worth seeing on the big screen. It's just a shame that they're the only real set-pieces in a film that clocks in at a hefty 169 minutes. I would argue that it feels as if a whole hour is spent reminding viewers of highlights from the past movies in the series, giving too much screentime to big names who add nothing worthwhile to the proceedings, and having the title repeated over and over again, as well as a mantra about everything being the sum of numerous choices made throughout an entire life. The second half really delivers though, with the long-awaited submarine sequence and the heavily-advertised aeroplane antics giving us the death-defying Cruise stuntwork that has become a staple of the series.

The biggest problem here is the screenplay. McQuarrie and Jendresen seem to have no handle on the pacing, the tone, or how to weave the exposition and character moments in between fun thrills and great dialogue exchanges. It's odd to think of how well they succeeded with the previous instalment, because this feels like the antithesis of that. I almost lost patience and swore at the screen when one scene played out for the sole purpose of letting characters appear, nod knowingly at others, and then disappear again. 

I suppose Cruise is fine, although he struggles with the constant weight being put on his shoulders (both onscreen and generally, in my view, battling against his advancing years). Atwell and Pegg are given some really good moments, and both do well, while Rhames becomes the strong heart of the group. Klementieff does better with the action than she does with the character development, and Morales remains one of the worst villains that the series has given us, although he has more fun this time around than he did in the last film. Henry Czerny remains fantastic as Kittridge, Shea Whigham is shown to have an intriguing connection to some past events, and Angela Bassett must have been delighted with the journey of her character, Erika Sloane, since first appearing in Mission: Impossible - Fallout. Nick Offerman has at least one good moment, which is more than I can say for Hannah Waddingham and Tramell Tillman, but the real shining stars of the supporting cast turn out to be Rolf Saxon and Lucy Tulugarjuk, the former given what I think could be the most intriguing and wonderful journey of any character to have featured in these movies.

Despite not being up there with the best that he's done before, McQuarrie directs the action well enough when it happens, once again helped by cinematographer Fraser Taggart and editor Eddie Hamilton, there's an undeniable appeal to the bombastic and rousing score (that theme tune has served every composer well over the years, I hope everyone involved remembered to give thanks to Lalo Schifrin), and everyone works hard (perhaps too hard) to deliver something consistent with the continuity and aesthetic of the IMF world as we've come to know it over the years.

If you have enjoyed these movies over the years then you should head out to see this on the big screen. Everyone involved deserves what should be seen as a celebratory, if a bit self-indulgent, swansong for these movies, or these movies being fully planned around Cruise anyway. And viewers are equally deserving of having one more opportunity to enjoy spending time with these characters, and being able to bid them a fond farewell. 

It's just a shame that it wasn't better. The first half hour or so feels like a clunky straight-to-streaming movie, the excessive callbacks and winks feel like McQuarrie and co. were scared into delivering something intent on keeping fans happy a la Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker, and a lot of viewers might grow impatient as they wait for what could have been called A Hunt For Red October. When that is happening onscreen though, it's tense and awesome and enough to make you temporarily forget how often you were just wondering whether or not this could take the lowest position in any ranked list of the M:I movies.

6/10

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A Minecraft Movie (2025)

Five writers worked on this screenplay. FIVE. And someone else helped two of those writers to come up with the story idea. So that's six people who had a helping hand in getting this into something resembling a movie. And the best they could come up with was a fan-pleasing collage of absolute nonsense that will leave viewers wondering why everyone involved just tried to remake The LEGO Movie, but make it shit.

Jack Black plays Steve, a man who is happy to find himself in the Overworld (AKA Minecraft world). Unfortunately, his happiness is curtailed when he is transported to the Nether, ruled over by a Piglin leader named Malgosha (voiced by Rachel House). Steve hides away the powerful artefacts that Malgosha wants to own, which are then found by young Henry (Sebastian Hansen) and a down-on-his-luck ex-videogame champ named Garrett (Jason Momoa). Henry is followed by his sister, Natalie (Emma Myers), and a friendly realtor named Dawn (Danielle Brooks). Meanwhile, one of the Overworld inhabitants ends up in our world, where they end up on a date with Vice Principal Marlene (Jennifer Coolidge).

Trust me, that made about as much sense to me while I wrote it as it did to you while you tried to read it. That paragraph may seem like a mess, but it's nothing when compared to the mess that is this movie. It's worth saying right now, however, that my own negative opinion of the film is redundant. It's already been a huge success, I am sure it will continue to be beloved by the fanbase for some time to come, and I am at the disadvantage of viewing it as someone with only the most cursory passing knowledge of the videogame it is based on.

I'm still allowed to complain about the time I wasted on this though, and complain I bloody well will. I'll give most of the blame to the writers, but there's a large part of me that suspects I should also save some finger-pointing for anyone who encouraged Black and Momoa to basically fool around in front of the cameras while they came up with numerous extra references and gags. This is a loud and busy film, for the most part, and Black and Momoa are the main reason for that. Whether you're a fan of the game or not, I'd love to hear from anyone who listens to the opening exposition dump from Jack Black's character and wants to try telling me how that was the best way to open this film. And yet . . . that opening soon becomes the only time that has Black being bearable.

Director Jared Hess can do quirky, of course. He's made it his brand for the past two decades, and a couple of the writers here are used to that (having worked with him on a couple of his previous projects), but A Minecraft Movie isn't the kind of quirky that we've seen in his better films. It's quirky in a way that feels far too random and incoherent, barely holding together as the thin plot moves from start to finish. Which may feel appropriate for those who know that Minecraft isn't really a story-driven game, but falls down for those after a movie experience that they can get their head around.

Hansen is decent as the one lead who feels like a fairly normal human, and Myers is really good as his concerned sister. Brooks is a lot of fun in her role, and manages to show how to be funny without shouting over everyone around her or gurning through an amusing selection of facial expressions (a la Coolidge, who I still enjoy here, but it's not her finest hour). House is always a fun addition, and her vocal performance is entertaining, and that covers the main performers who seem to stay at least somewhat tethered to something resembling a constructed reality. Momoa and Black are orbiting one another in a separate solar system from everyone else, a vacuum that ensures a deadening of their constant stream of blurted game-related terms and unfunny gags.

The score is bad, the visuals are . . . in line with the game (which gives them a great excuse), and the only time I really chuckled was during scenes with Coolidge falling for the odd-looking "escapee". Nobody will care about this dissenting opinion though. I'm not the target audience, and I'm not going to change the mind of anyone who IS. I've said it many times before though, you're allowed to enjoy something tailored to your own tastes and preferences while also wanting something that has been made with care and passion. This feels like it lacks both of those qualities, and I am surprised that Minecraft players have helped to make it such a resounding success.

3/10

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Prime Time: Ash (2025)

Despite the fact that I loathed Kuso, I decided to give this sci-fi horror movie from director Flying Lotus a chance. Writer Jonni Remmler makes his feature debut here, and the nicest thing I can say is that it feels very much like the work of someone making their feature debut.

Eiza González plays Riya, a woman who finds herself in a very difficult situation when she awakens to find that all of her colleagues have either gone missing or been killed. This would be problematic anywhere, but Riya is working in a space station on a distant planet. There's not really anyone around to quickly come to her aid, although someone else (Brion, played by Aaron Paul) does make an unexpected appearance. 

I don't want to sound like a broken record here, and I am keen to see Flying Lotus do something that fully works for me, but this is a film made by a director who is unable to effectively mix his own artistic vision and sensibilities with the genre moments that he ends up fumbling. The end result is something that will please nobody, with a weak script undermining any of the moments that could have been more interesting and a number of visual flourishes that are buried under poor editing choices, some bad lighting, and a constant feeling of apathy.

The sad thing is that the cast here could have done something good with better material. González is a decent lead, although you wouldn't know that from the roles that she has picked over the past few years. The same could be said of Paul, who has yet to find himself a film role that comes remotely close to his superb TV work. Iko Uwais isn't used in the way you might expect, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. The bad thing is how he is completely wasted, as are both Beulah Koale and Kate Elliott. Flying Lotus himself also appears onscreen, but I'm not going to judge his work as anything more than a cost-saving measure. That's all you have, a handful of people for the core cast, and that would be all you need if the main premise was strong enough. It isn't though.  

I remember many years ago when I was desperate to find another videogame to scratch that Resident Evil itch. I ended up playing OverBlood. It wasn't very good, but there were moments when it was superficially close enough to Resident Evil that I decided I could be happy with it. That took some willpower, and that was back when I was younger and much easier to please. I'm older and a bit more jaded nowadays. And if I want something to scratch that sci-fi horror movie itch then I have much greater knowledge, and many more resources, than I had when I was spending more time playing on a videogame console than trying to work my way through every movie ever made.

I'll give it a bonus point or two for the FX work, and an ending that tries to reward those who have been patient enough to get there, but that still leaves it as something I rate disappointingly below average.

4/10

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Final Destination: Bloodlines (2025)

I have praised the Final Destination movie series before. Even the worst film in the series manages to be average, as opposed to painfully unbearable, and the last film was a surprisingly great return to form for a series that has consistently tried to deliver bloody fun to horror fans for the past twenty five years. I had mixed feelings about this latest instalment. On the one hand, more Final Destination movies could be a good thing. On the other hand, something bad would start to work against the goodwill that so many have for the series. Unlike the portents glimpsed by our main character here, however, all of the signs seemed good. Directors Zach Lipovsky and Adam Stein seemed to have a real love for the series, as evidenced by their inspired Zoom presentation that ultimately got them the job (read up on it, I hope we get to see it somewhere as a bonus feature one day), and writers Guy Busick and Lori Evans Taylor worked with Jon Watts on a story idea that would apparently please fans and relative newcomers alike. Then we got the marketing, which made great use of imagery associated with the films, particularly that Final Destination 2 opener.

Kaitlyn Santa Juana plays Stefani Reyes, a young woman we first see waking up from a nightmare at the end of a university class. That nightmare feels very real, and Stefani has been having it repeatedly for two months. It's not a premonition though, because it's all happening in the past, but it's odd that the young woman she sees in these visions shares the same name as her estranged grandmother, Iris (played by Brec Bassinger in the visions, and by Gabrielle Rose when shown in the here and now). Stefani starts to question her family about the problems that have kept certain family members away from one another, which leads her to discover a grand design by one Mr. G. Reaper to wipe out all of the lives that weren't supposed to exist if his earlier plan, to kill off a fancy restaurant full of patrons, had come to fruition. Stefani needs to figure out whatever pattern will decide the order of deaths in her family, and she hopes that there's some way to stop that big scythe cutting through their lifelines.

If there's one thing that the Final Destination movies does nowadays, one thing I hope we can all agree on, it puts the fun into funerals. This film leads characters from one tragic death to another, forcing everyone still living to eventually conclude that, yes, they are all being targeted by a vengeful and angry spirit of death. The opening disaster is top-tier stuff, although I would argue that Lipovsky and Stein make a rod for their own backs by starting things off with the kind of Rube Goldberg machinations that are normally saved for individual death scenes later in the runtime. There aren't too many surprises, which is more down to viewers now being familiar with the concept than any creative bankruptcy, but it's good to see that the screenplay at least tries a couple of small rug-pulls, some of which work better than others. Everyone is on the same page when it comes to the tone and delivering what audiences will want to see, and it allows the film to feel like the most self-aware and fun of the series. That doesn't necessarily make it the best, but it gives Lipovsky and Stein some strong cards that they play well. The timing couldn't have been better, considering the growth that you can see through their feature filmography throughout the past 10+ years. 

The cast all do a good job, despite the fact that they know they're just there to be involved in, or witness, memorable death scenes. Juana makes for a good lead, becoming more stressed without leaning too hard into full eye-twitching and head-shaking mode. She conveys the strength that her character needs, but is as vulnerable as everyone else when moving under the shadowy figure looking for ways to help shuffle her off the mortal coil. Teo Briones is a bit less enjoyable, playing her younger brother, Charlie, but that's fine when the film allows us to spend some time with other endangered family members played by Richard Harmon, Owen Patrick Joyner, and Anna Lore. Harmon is a highlight, thanks to the nature of his character and his delivery of some of the best lines in the film. Rya Kihlstedt and Alex Zahara are also dragged into the fatal danger zone, although both April Telek and Tinpo Lee only hang around long enough to witness some of the crazy carnage before they are unceremoniously shunted offscreen. There's also the expected cameo from Tony Todd, as poignant as it is enjoyable this time around due to the fact that it will stand as one of his final film roles. And what a touching send-off from the series it is.

I have criticisms, but they feel very minor when I consider how much I enjoyed this. The quality of the special effects varies wildly, especially in the CGI-heavy opening sequence, there are some inconsistencies with how things were laid out earlier in the series (easy enough to overlook though, and I am willing to consider that previous theories were put forward by people who didn't know they were mistaken), and the fact that we're supposed to believe that someone would shelter away from death in a house surrounded by multiple literal death-traps is an oversight that I wish they had managed to correct before getting the final draft of the screenplay written. I still had more fun with this at the cinema than almost any other horror movie I can think of in years. It's a crowd-pleaser, and I encourage absolutely everyone to get along and see it in the cinema if they can. It was made to be experienced with people communally enjoying the way it deftly dances between the humour and the bloodshed.

8/10

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Mubi Monday: Let The Corpses Tan (2017)

People may ask, quite rightly, why I continue to explore the filmography of Hélène Cattet and Bruno Forzani when I often strongly dislike what they offer up to viewers. First of all, I'm a completist. I'll sit through anything. Second, I'm an optimist. I'll sit through anything. Third, I keep thinking that there will be a time when Cattet and Forzani figure out how to marry their impressive aesthetic choices to a narrative that proves more rewarding to those after more than just some sensory overload.

This is a very familiar plot. A robbery has been committed, and the robbers now want to hide out with their stash. Unfortunately, their plan goes slightly awry when other people end up in the vicinity. It's not long until unfortunate coincidences start to pile up, as well as one or two spoonfuls of greed-induced treachery, of course.

There's something to be said for artists sticking to what holds their interest, whether they are striving for perfection or looking to deliver some pointed commentary through their own unique voice, but there's also something to be said for artists who figure out how to play to their strengths while transposing their vision on to different canvases (metaphorically speaking). Cattet and Forzani don't seem able to do anything that proves they have more in their bag of tricks than an ability to crank up the audio when there's some leather onscreen. I applaud their ability to give us something so evocative - your ears prick up when that leather creaks, there's a palpable heat emanating off the screen during times when some of the characters are sweating under the shimmering sun - but I need something else to accompany that stimulation. Others may strongly disagree, fair enough, but I would argue that Cattet and Forzani have shown not one bit of progress since they made their feature debut over 15 years ago. 

I don't want to seem rude to the cast members here, but they must know that they're playing second fiddle to the editors, those doing the makeup and practical effects, and foley artists. Elina Löwensohn and Dorylia Calmel fare better than their male counterparts, but even their performances are at the mercy of the other choices that move away from the actual plot to focus on different sensations or different viewpoints (which is why we are given a number of timestamps that sometimes simply show the same time, indicating that we're being shown another angle on something that has already been played out onscreen).

I didn't completely hate this, and I do think that Cattet and Forzani were at least trying to work some other genre movie tropes through their own filter. It just didn't work, and I was never once interested in either the characters or where the whole thing would end. Win or lose, live or die, it didn't matter to me, and I would argue that's because it never really mattered to those helming the film. If I want something this experiential without anything else to keep me interested then I can always explore the many ASMR videos available online. That's all this really is, ASMR for those who like the creak of leather. It's even somehow a step down from their last feature.

3/10

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Netflix And Chill: The Shadow Strays (2024)

My second Timo Tjahjanto movie in as many weeks, The Shadow Strays is in line with other features I have seen from him, but with one notable difference. It features a collection of strong female characters. Tjahjanto has had strong female characters in his films before, but they haven't been the main focus. This has a strong female lead, and a couple of main supporting characters who show themselves just as capable of violence and death as any of the dangerous men onscreen.

Aurora Ribero is 13, an assassin who doesn't complete her latest mission. She still does a great job though, which leaves a lot of people already dead around her when she is assisted by Umbra (Hana Malasan). 13 is then ordered to rest and wait for new orders, which leaves her in an agitated state while she is cut off from her handler/network. The devil makes work for idle hands though, or so the say, and 13 ends up getting involved when she sees things getting ugly for a young boy, Monji (Ali Fikry), who lives near her. This pits 13 against a collection of ruthless and sadistic criminals, but it also leads to her being targeted by her own people.

Starting off with a set-piece that the film arguably never tops, The Shadow Strays is as stabby and limb-lopping as you'd expect, but shows a couple of main characters with a bit more finesse to their blade-work. Both 13 and Umbra are trained to execute their targets in the most efficient and effective ways, which allows Tjahjanto to present a slightly different fighting style whenever they are in control of the situation. Of course, the messiness and panic appear when they're not in control, and it doesn't always take a lot to change the balance of any fight. And every fight here tends to be a fight to the death.

Ribero is a good lead, very capable and very believable. Both she and Malasan look as if they could work their way through any gang of burly men like a powerful kitchen blender chops up vegetables. While they don't have to do to much with their characters outwith the fight scenes, they are more than capable when required to show hints of humanity glimpsed beneath their impassivity. Taskya Namya is a brilliantly entertaining psychopath named Soriah, another determined woman who just happens to be on the opposite side of the fight from 13, and Agra Piliang, Andri Mashadi, Kristo Immanuel, Adipati Dolken, and Arswendy Bening Swara portray the core selection of, mainly evil, male characters. Daniel Ekaputra makes a strong impression as Troika, a male assassin who has no qualms about taking out one of his colleagues, and Fikry is constantly vulnerable enough to make the motivation of our main character very understandable.

Using the same composer (Fajar Yuskemal) and same director of photographer (Batara Goempar) that he worked with on The Night Comes For Us, as well as many other familiar names, particularly if you scour through the many stunt performers, Tjahjanto knows how to deliver what fans have come to expect from him without it feeling exactly like everything else that he's done before. This is satisfying, and it's (for want of a better word) gnarly. It has a lot of similarities with The Night Comes For Us, but just a couple of key differences, especially when it comes to the background of the main characters, create a ripple effect that allows the whole film to feel very different from that most obvious cinematic reference point.

On the downside, you feel the 144-minute runtime in a couple of places, and there are some interesting moments that are there just to set up a sequel (that we may or may not get). It's still an easy recommend for those who like their action movies to make them wince while they also have to repeatedly pick their jaw up off the floor.

8/10

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Shudder Saturday: Curse Of The Crimson Altar (1968)

I couldn't understand how I hadn't managed to get around to Curse Of The Crimson Altar before now, but now it's perfectly clear. This isn't a good movie, despite the attachment of some big names and apparently being (loosely) based on "The Dreams In The Witch House". 

The story deals with one Robert Manning (Mark Eden), an antiques dealer on a search for his missing brother. He knows that his brother was at Craxted Lodge, a large house owned by Morley (Christopher Lee). Morley is welcoming enough, as is his niece, Eve (Virginia Wetherell), but it turns out that they may be connected to some strange occult happenings, as explained to our protagonist by Professor John Marsh (Boris Karloff).

Written by Mervyn Haisman and Henry Lincoln, a duo who seemed to do better with TV work than they did with films (in fact, they only have one or two other features credited between them, in amongst the various TV episodes), this is an uninteresting slog that lacks any real thrills or atmosphere. Director Vernon Sewell has a filmography worth exploring, from what I can see, but this is coming along towards the very end of his career, and isn't one of his better efforts. Perhaps relying too much on the stars to carry the weak script, Sewell fails to impress with the blend of very British good manners, some scenes showing groovy individuals happily partying, and occasional nightmares. None of it works in isolation, and none of it works in relation to everything else going on.

The same can be said of the cast members, who are generally unable to do anything to elevate the material. Karloff arguably fares the best, thanks to his unmistakable presence and ability to imbue ridiculous dialogue with a gravitas that it often doesn't merit, but Lee feels a bit underused, which is all the more frustrating when that allows for more screentime for a bland Eden, Wetherell, and a laughable coterie of supporting characters. Michael Gough is also ill-served by the screenplay, and Barbara Steele is at least used in a visually-interesting way that tries to add to the impact of events by giving you a shot of, well, Barbara Steele.

Another film that many may mistakenly believe came from Hammer or Amicus, as it's one of those to come from the smaller stable of Tigon, I would simply remind anyone still tempted to check this out that Christopher Lee himself considered one of the worst of his career. And that man was in some stinkers. I've heard some people praise this, although I genuinely don't understand what won them over (perhaps just the atmosphere and the aesthetic of this kind of very British horror from this time), but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, with the exception of completists who, like me, always end up having to see these things for themselves.

3/10

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Freaky Tales (2025)

Written and directed by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, Freaky Tales is a film that I decided to watch this week with very low expectations. I hadn't really heard too much about it, and there was certainly nobody telling people to make it a priority. Maybe it was due to those low expectations, or maybe simply due to the movie itself, but I had a blast with it.

Set in Oakland in 1987, this is an anthology film showing four interconnected stories. You get some young punks who end up battling Nazis outside one of their clubs, a pair of young women who get a chance to show off their rap battle skills on a stage opposite a well-known star, a debt collector/killer renting a movie for his pregnant wife, unaware of the fact that they've been targeted by someone he caused pain to in the past, and a super-powered basketball player who goes on a killing spree after a robbery-gone-awry leads to things going really bad really quickly.

Boden and Fleck have been working together for about two decades now, and they have a filmography that refuses to be pigeonholed, but this may be their most enjoyable work yet. It's so fun and satisfying, partly down to the aesthetic and energy of the whole thing and partly down to the timing of it (because this is a perfect time to enjoy any film that features people beating up on Nazi scumbags). Jac Fitzgerald delivers some cool cinematography, straightforward stuff with just a few flourishes here and there, and the score by Raphael Saadiq is an excellent selection of synth work.

Pedro Pascal and Ben Mendelsohn are the biggest names in the cast, when it comes to the main roles anyway. The former plays that debt collector/killer, obviously perfect as the reluctant heavy who becomes quite morose and soulful when his world is irrevocably changed, while the latter is a horrible cop who is unsurprisingly connected to a number of the Nazis. The late Angus Cloud does well as a bad guy named Travis, Jack Champion and Ji-young Yoo are easy to like, playing the two main punks we spend time with, and Dominique Thorne and Normani are great fun as the rapping duo wary of being made a laughing stock while they have a chance to show what they can do in front of a big crowd. Tom Hanks appears for a cameo that lasts just a few minutes, and he's a hell of an addition to the thing, and Jay Ellis dominates the final section of the film, giving us a character who feels like Jim Kelly spliced with Cameron Vale.

Although it would seem to have a layer of grime and unpleasantness wrapped around everything, Freaky Tales works so well because it's a celebration. It celebrates love, it celebrates those who pursue their dreams, it celebrates a time and a place (and we can all think back to our own special venue that may have had a similar peak time many years ago, or maybe just seems that way through our nostalgia goggles), and it celebrates the joy of fighting back against truly despicable humans. The message couldn't be clearer, and there's some violence on display that is as satisfying as it is over the top, but that lack of subtlety feels like a refreshing drink of cool water in a time when so many others are considering compromise or ways to appeal to those who wouldn't appreciate such a message. 

If this was only a selection of tales that said "it's always okay to punch a Nazi" then I would have been fine with it, but it's got a lot more packed into it. I REALLY liked it, and I hope others have as much fun with it as I did.

8/10

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The Missionary (1982)

I wish I could tell you that The Missionary was yet another film I regretted not seeing for years, but I can't. It's not a terrible film, and features a cast all being a lot of fun in their various roles, but it's not quite as good as I had hoped it would be.

Michael Palin plays Fortescue, a man of the cloth who returns to England and the love and kindness of his fiance, Deborah (Phoebe Nicholls). He still wants to do good work though, and soon ends up tasked by a Bishop (Denholm Elliott) to create a charitable home for the purpose of helping and rehabilitating prostitutes. Fortescue has to secure funding, which puts him in the sights of Lady Ames (Maggie Smith) and her husband (Trevor Howard), and he also ends up offering the women comfort in ways that would surely be frowned upon by the church.

Loosely based on the life of Reverend Harold Francis Davidson, aka the "prostitutes' padre", The Missionary has Palin also on board as a writer, and Richard Loncraine in the director's chair. Neither seem quite able to decide exactly the tone they want to go for, which leads to only a few scenes working as well as they should. This is a character piece, and Fortescue is fun to watch as he wrestles with his conscience, decides what ends up being the best way to help others, and gets himself further and further into a big mess that seems likely to prove his undoing at any minute. Loncraine doesn't make the best use of his talented cast, especially when there are people like Timothy Spall and Sophie Thompson in very small roles, but there is a lovely attention to period detail throughout that makes up for some of the less entertaining moments. 

Palin is very enjoyable in the lead role, all sweet innocence and good intentions. If he'd given himself a better script to work with then this could have easily been one of his best works. Smith is also very good, especially as she continues to create reasons for Fortescue to have to stay under her roof for a night she plans to make the most of. Howard and Elliott are as enjoyable as expected, Michael Hordern is a delightfully forgetful butler, and David Suchet does well in his feature debut, although his character only makes a few brief appearances in the back end of the film. Nicholls is sadly underused, as are those I mentioned earlier, and there's a disappointing lack of main characters from the selection of "fallen women" who end up around our lead.

There's certainly enough to appreciate here, especially if you're a fan of Palin and Smith. There's just not quite enough to make it fully work as either a drama or a gentle comedy, with the end result landing a bit awkwardly in between the two. It's also a shame that there doesn't seem to be any sharpness to what could have been a real exploration of morality, rehabilitation, and the role that the church tries to hold within many communities. There are a few points raised as things muddle along from the start to the finish, but nothing that really sticks with you once the end credits roll. In fact, I'd say that the best thing about the movie is how it can then lead you to read up on the extraordinary life, and strange end, of the "prostitute's padre".

Often as pleasant and harmless as the central character, The Missionary should prove slightly disappointing to those wanting something (anything) more than a nice-looking distraction to take up 90 minutes of their day.

5/10

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Prime Time: Den Of Thieves 2: Pantera (2025)

Considering that this sequel was the reason I finally got around to watching Den Of Thieves, it took me a bit longer than expected to see it. That wasn't my choice, but rather tied to the way it was distributed here in the UK. Or just not really distributed at all, which would be closer to the truth. I kept checking cinema listings for this after it seemed to get a decent reception over in America, but there was no news. I kept an eye on VOD release dates, but didn't see anything (although that may have just been me missing the relevant information hidden somewhere on the internet). And now it's here, another title dropped rather unceremoniously on to the Amazon Prime Video streaming platform. Anyone would suspect that it's a bad movie.

Gerard Butler is back as Nicholas 'Big Nick' O'Brien, but this time around it looks as if he is leaving the world of law enforcement behind him. He is still pursuing Donnie Wilson (O'Shea Jackson Jr.), and gets himself in the middle of an intriguing plan to rob a VERY secure diamond exchange. Seemingly relishing the challenge, and also seemingly enjoying the camaraderie, Nick continues to tread heavily through the murky waters of gray morality, to put it mildly.

Christian Gudegast returns to the director's chair for this outing, and he also decides to go it alone on the writing duties this time around. I really can't make up my mind on how good or bad a decision it is, but he's opted to move away from the grit and violence of the first movie in favour of something that feels much more like a crime caper flick. There's still some tension, and the main characters are never portrayed as altruistic innocents, but viewers are allowed to root for the leads even as they get themselves deeper and deeper in a pit of their own creation.

Butler and Jackson Jr. are comfortable while reprising the characters they last played back in 2018, and they benefit from being able to spend more screentime together, displaying a nice rapport that creates a softer core than the first movie had, for better or worse. It's not quite a buddy movie, but there are times when it comes close. Others onscreen include Evin Ahmad (as a woman who catches the eye of Nick, despite her ex being able to cause them quite a bit of trouble), Dino Kelly (as the aforementioned ex), Salvatore Esposito, Orli Shuka, and Yasen Zates Atour. 

There are a couple of decent set-pieces spaced throughout the hefty 144-minute runtime, including the main robbery itself (of course), the tone moves deftly between the fun and the tension, and cinematographer Terry Stacey helps to give the whole thing a different look from the first film, but with the same clear choreography and focus during the action beats. The end result may feel a bit unnecessary, and there's a chance that it will annoy people who just want a repeat of the first film, but it's not a bad movie. It's not great, but it's not bad. Which puts it nicely alongside many other Gerard Butler vehicles from the past decade or two.

6/10

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Drop (2025)

I had initially considered doing my review of Drop in the style of a song parody, mentioning everything I dislike about the film followed by the phrase "drop it like it's hot." That just didn't seem right though. I didn't think I would be able to fully convey my complete disdain for what is one of the worst, and most incompetent, mainstream thrillers I have seen in years.

Meghann Fahy is Violet, a widow (and, importantly, a survivor of domestic abuse) who has finally plucked up the courage to go on a date with Henry (Brandon Sklenar). She leaves her young son, Toby (Jacob Robinson), in the care of her sister, Jen (Violett Beane), and hopes to enjoy the evening ahead. Someone has other plans though, and they start terrorising and controlling Violet through numerous instructions that anonymously drop into her phone. With her family on the line, can Violet figure out a way to either defeat the unknown villain, or will she have to ultimately kill the person she has been told to target?

While I am unhappy with director Christopher Landon for putting his name to this, he is the least of the problems that the film has. In fact, when it comes to some moments that convey the phone messages while keeping viewers aware of the various characters moving through different parts of the fancy restaurant, he can even receive one of the few compliments that I am willing to give this film. Everyone else can throw themselves into the nearest wheelie bin.

Writers Jillian Jacobs and Chris Roach haven't given us the best screenplays in the past, and they have managed to bring out the worst in one another since pairing up over the last few years (with the diminishing returns of Truth Or Dare, Fantasy Island, and now this). Everything they serve up here is a hot mess, from the clumsy exposition to the mishandling of some very weighty material, the attempts to make things quirky and fun, and even just the dialogue between our leads. It never feels in any way believable (my partner and I both agreed that the date would have been over within about 20 minutes, at most), it subsequently lacks any tension, and I spent most of the runtime just waiting for whatever ridiculous finale was going to come along and prove me right for having skipped this in cinemas.

The leads don't help either. Fahy tries hard with what she's given, but she's overwhelmed by the absolute crappiness of the writing. Sklenar, on the other hand, positions himself as a handsome lead so bland and stiff that I was wishing they had cast Scott Eastwood in the role instead (and that's something I thought I'd never say). Beane is a welcome presence, sadly offscreen for most of the film, Jeffery Self is a very annoying waiter, Ed Weeks is a very annoying piano player, and Gabrielle Ryan, Sarah McCormack, Travis Nelson, Reed Diamond, and one or two others keep moving in and out of focus to allow themselves to become suspects or victims, depending on which way the film wants to go.

The restaurant design is quite nice. That's about the only other positive I can think of. Nothing else works. This is a "high-concept" thriller that should have been worked on for at least three more drafts. Although I am not sure if anything could have been done to majorly improve something so ridiculous. Even Carry-On was better than this, and I was not a fan of that one.

3/10

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