Sudder Saturday: Reflection In A Dead Diamond (2025)

I have somehow seen every film made by Hélène Cattet and Bruno Forzani, despite never being won over by them. Some individual moments have worked, but I have generally disliked their work. And I didn't like this feature either. In a surprise turn of events, however, I kind of loved it. 

The story revolves around the memories and confusion of a retired spy, John D. (played in old age by Fabio Testi, played in his younger years by Yannick Renier). That's all you need to know. In fact, when I read the online summary that says "a retired spy suspects his former adversaries have resurfaced when his intriguing neighbor vanishes" I have to admit that I still couldn't quite piece everything together.

Like other films from Cattet and Forzani, this is an experience built on homage and the fetishization of certain aspects (you always get to hear some leather creaking in their movies, heat and breathing often feature heavily, and the violence is stylised and often disturbingly sexually-charged). Unlike their other films, this one is easier to become immersed in. It managed to become a stunning work of art, both emulating and also becoming what is so beloved within the heart of it all.

Maybe my enjoyment here was due to being more easily able to spot the main reference points (equal parts Bond and a certain celebrated Mario Bava title). I have always know the playgrounds that Cattet and Forzani were enjoying, but I would argue that previous features were less interesting because the experimental nature of their film-making seemed to supersede the sheer entertainment factor. This does an equally good job with both sides of that balancing act.

It helps that both Testi and Renier are believably suave and capable in their roles. Maria de Medeiros may be the only other familiar face for many (she certainly was for me), but the best supporting turns come from both Thi Mai Nguyen and Céline Camara, both being superb contenders for some award that can be given to "Bond girls who weren't actually Bond girls." Once again, the film-makers use their cast as minor pieces in a game that is all about style and design, but they've helped themselves immensely by casting people who can help to keep viewers engaged as we jump around from one bit of visual gorgeousness to the next.

Imagine if James Bond was elderly and damaged from his many years on the job. What would he think of those around him, and how easily could he keep his memories in order? Would the past continue to invade the present, and how much of it would be his actual past, compared to the many legends to have been spun around his career highlights? I think the end result would be a man very much like the central character presented here, which is why I loved this. It's a Bond who may still be capable, but is weighed down by the baggage of regrets, loss, loneliness, and his own deterioration. Someone who once thought that diamonds were forever, but now sees snippets of memories, real and false, refracted through the titular dead precious gemstone.

9/10

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Merry Christmas, Ted Cooper! (2025)

Hear me out. There has been a major increase in the number of Christmas movies that we get each year. I think we can all agree on that. It's quite the busy little (Christmas) cottage industry. And Hallmark now finds themselves competing against not just other TV channels, but the likes of Amazon, Apple, Netflix, and Disney, not to mention any of the star vehicles that end up gracing our cinemas. That means there are a lot more films out there that are a bit weak, to put it nicely, but tend to fill the screentime with snowy landscapes, hot chocolates, predictable romance, and some twinkly-eyed Santa figure, or some kind of Santa proxy. I hope we are still in agreement. I have nothing against these movies. I watch, and review, many of them. They often provide the cosy comfort that they aim to provide. But, and here's the radical part of this paragraph, I suspect that the excessive number of Christmas movies has allowed room for some features that actually feel properly good. Not just "Christmas movie" good. Not just good enough for that one evening of time-wasting as you do other studd. Properly, I could happily watch that again, good.

Maybe it's just a numbers game. More movies like this being made means more opportunities for talented people to have a go at them. Or maybe it's because we're also now at a time when the people behind the camera are so well-versed in the form that it's a lot easier for them to adapt their material into something Hallmark-approved, even while sneaking in the kind of subversive humour that would once have made such a film unsuitable for the intended viewership.

This is my way of telling you that Merry Christmas, Ted Cooper! is good. Properly good. That might be down to director Jason Bourque, but it's more likely to be down to writer Russell Hainline and star Robert Buckley (who is also credited with coming up with the central story idea). Let's just say what we would say with any other film though. Everyone works together here to provide something that's a genuine delight.

Buckley plays the titular Ted Cooper, a weatherman on a local TV station. He's heading home for the holidays, much to the amusement of his colleagues. Ted has had a notoriously bad run of luck when it comes to Christmas, but he remains optimistic. Not just about Christmas. Ted is optimistic about almost everything. And he knows that he can do some good work to help his sister, Kate (Meghan Heffern), with a local charity event. He's a bit surprised to find that he might also be able to spend some quality time with Hope Miller (Kimberley Sustad) though, a doctor he had a major crush on in high school. Will misfortune continue to plague Ted, or will his positivity finally boomerang back to him?

I cannot praise Buckley highly enough for his lead performance here. Ted Cooper is just the right mix of charm, cheek, and naïveté. He's a great character to spend the runtime with, able to laugh along with others laughing at his unbelievable bad luck, but also remaining so relentlessly upbeat that most people start rooting for him to get the happiness that he deserves. Heffern is also wonderful, a typical sister who can love and be irritated by her brother in equal measure, while also ready to step in and save him from himself when things look dire. Sustad is a winning potential love interest, and she also works as an audience proxy while she continues to struggle with just how happy-go-lucky Ted is. Others worth mentioning are Brendan Penny (a smug newscaster colleague), Barbara Pollard (ex-teacher, friendly face, and head of the Sole Sisters, a female jogging group that allow Ted to join their ranks), and Reedan Elizabeth (a medical colleague who forces Hope to admit whenever she may be having some feelings).

It would seem weird to spend so much time and space going on and on about what is, in basic terms, "just another Christmas movie" to help fill the schedules, but Merry Christmas, Ted Cooper! deserves it. Bourque may be slightly restricted by the obvious rules (the pacing, the planning around ad breaks, the need to keep everything suitable for all viewers), but he's helped by a screenplay that shows just how much fun it's possible to have within such parameters. I laughed at a lot of individual lines of dialogue and moments, I LOVED scanning scenes set at a Christmas party that featured people dressed up as characters from well-known Christmas movies (including Home Alone, Christmas Vacation, and, YES, Die Hard), and the predictability of the final scenes did nothing at all to ruin my enjoyment. In fact, I would have been apoplectic with rage if I hadn't been given the ending I wanted for Ted. 

I'm going to restrain myself when it comes to the final rating, but just know that I was sorely tempted to go a bit higher (which may or may not be a symptom of finding this such a blessed relief in comparison to so many other, lesser, TV movies I've already watched this holiday season). 

7/10

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Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas (1977)

Emmet Otter and his Ma are poor. Properly poor. Which wouldn't be a major problem for them if they didn't have certain obligations. Like Christmas presents. A local talent contest may provide a source of income for them though, but neither one wants to tell the other about their plan. Emmet ends up ruining Ma's washtub, needing it turned into a washtub bass for his role in the band, while Ma sells Emmet's tools to get some fabric required for the kind of dress a singer should wear on stage. It's a huge gamble, made even riskier by the presence of the rowdy Riverbottom Gang, who may also be interested in getting on stage and trying to win a prize.

A TV special that allowed Jim Henson to test the waters for the possibility, and practicality, of a Muppet movie, Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas is as important as it is sweet. It's also really well-made, quickly transporting viewers to a new land populated by fictional characters that immediately feel completely real, no matter how many strings or limitations are on display.

Henson and co. always did a great job when it came to creating environments for their puppet creations, keeping everything to scale and beautifully textured, but there was always some magic sprinkled into their work. I never watched The Muppets and thought of the puppeteers bringing those characters to life. I simply enjoyed getting to spend time with Kermit The Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, and the whole gang. It's the same here. I didn't once view this as a lesser effort, nor did I find any fault in the relative crudity of some of the character designs. I just thought about how cute Emmet and his Ma were, and I wanted everything to work out for them.

There's not much else to say about this. It's sweet, and gently heartbreaking during one or two tender moments. I am tempted to mention the wonderful lead performances, but that would just allow me to sink further into my delusion of believing fully in Emmet and Ma. The cuteness of the puppets does help everyone to accept the cuteness and purity of the characters though, just as the design of the entertainingly mean members of the Riverbottom Gang convinces viewers from the start that they're no good.

There are a few good tunes, even if you won't necessarily be singing them once the film is over, some low-key comedic touches here and there, and a finale that should melt all but the coldest and stoniest of hearts. While this probably won't surpass one or two other Henson productions that you may already hold dear, it's in line with the warm-hearted and gentle nature of their greatest hits. 

7/10

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Prime Time: Oh. What. Fun. (2025)

One of the bigger Christmas movies to appear at the end of 2025, Oh. What. Fun. has a wealth of talent on both sides of the camera. It's directed and co-written by Michael Showalter, comedy fans should already be familiar with his name, and makes use of the likes of Denis Leary, Felicity Jones, Jason Schwartzman, Chloë Grace Moretz, Dominic Sessa, Joan Chen, and Eva Longoria. All while boasting another leading role for the great Michelle Pfeiffer.

Pfeiffer plays Claire, a mother and wife who is starting to feel very unappreciated. All she wants from her grown children is a nomination that will get her some recognition and an appearance on her favourite daytime TV show (hosted by Zazzy Tims, played by Longoria). Sammy (Sessa) is too busy feeling sorry for himself after recently being dumped by his girlfriend (Mae-bell, played by Maude Apatow), Taylor (Moretz) is distracted by her latest new love, Donna (Devery Jacobs), and Channing (Jones) is considering how to transition to some new holiday traditions with her own family. There's also a perfect neighbour (played by Joan Chen) adding some pressure to the holiday season, and things snowball until Claire just decides that she has to take a break from her family. On Christmas.

This is a strange one. It will be enjoyable enough for some, and you would think it could hardly fail with everyone helping to fill out the cast list, but, contrary to the title, it's not really any fun. And, yes, I am aware that the title is supposed to be ironic. The tone of the film isn't though. It's supposed to be a mix of comedy and drama that does what pretty much every Christmas movie does: deliver a seasonal message about kindness and love. It just rarely works as well as it should.

First of all, despite the very true statements made by Pfeiffer about how many Christmas movies (and, let's face it, movies in general) are made about men/boys needing help in comparison to movies that celebrate all that women do . . . the fact that the central character here is seemingly motivated by her own need to be seen as so much better than others around her doesn't help to make her a very sympathetic lead. In fact, and maybe I am risking some wrath here by just commenting as a clueless bloke, Pfeiffer's character isn't very pleasant to her family, doesn't seem to have any friends to help her let off some steam, and generally demands some specific rewards and recognition for doing a decidedly average job, at best, of being the family matriarch. Her husband and children may be a bit selfish and inconsiderate, but so is our lead, despite her actions trying to prove otherwise.

Second, it's neither very funny, nor is it very Christmassy. Many won't mind the lack of laughs, but I was hoping for something to compensate for the lack of real drama (and I do mean a LACK of real drama, with a few things being presented here that end up being completely inconsequential as things quickly move from one scene to the next . . . try to argue with me on that point and then tell me why we had that shoplifting scene, and what that added to anything). There are Christmas decorations, of course, and some pleasant chilliness in the air, but the lack of any sweet centre, and an apparent reticence to fully lean into all of the holiday trimmings, stop this from feeling like something designed specifically to be appreciated in the run up to Christmas.

Sessa and Schwartzman give the two best performances onscreen, which is a real shame when you consider who should be the shining stars. The latter plays Doug, husband of Channing, and his general mistreatment in the family home is another mark against the film, especially when he's shown struggling to connect with Channing's siblings, but always willing to turn up and do his best for family time nonetheless. Another enjoyable turn comes from Havana Rose Liu, playing a cool daughter of Chen's character. Pfeiffer struggles with the unhelpful material, as do both Jones and Moretz. Leary fares a bit better, but is, much like his character, able to coast along without making any major effort. And as for Eva Longoria, she does almost well enough to make you forget her small role in War Of The Worlds. Almost.

The first screenplay from Chandler Baker, adapted from her own short story, Oh. What. Fun. just has far too many things wrong with it to get even close to feeling right. Whatever Showalter thought that he could bring to the material isn't clear. All he's managed to do is helm a feature that will rank as one of the worst mainstream releases for all involved. And that is saying something when you think of the collected filmographies of the leads.

3/10

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Santa Isn't Real (2023)

There has been a disappointing lack of killer Santa movies this year. The past few years have brough us  an abundance of the things, as well as other cinammon-spiced horrors. That's why I ended up checking out Santa Isn't Real, a film that begins with a young woman being attacked so viciously by Santa that she ends up in a coma for about a year.

It's hard to convince people that Santa exists. Nikki (Kaya Coleman) finds it almost impossible to convince her friends that Santa tried to kill her. Everyone believes it was a suicide attempt, but a Christmas get-together with friends should hopefully keep pushing her lowest point further into the past. Things are made a bit more awkward by the fact that Nikki's boyfriend, Nathan (Trey Anderson), has formed a strong connection with Jess (Scarlett Sperduto) while Nikki was in a coma. Meanwhile, Cissy Ly just hopes that everyone can get along and stay focused on keeping Nikki feeling loved and safe through Christmas. Santa has other ideas though.

The second feature film from writer-director Zac Locke, this is a surprisingly effective and interesting film that makes good use of standard slasher movie moments throughout and then throws an entertaining curveball in the third act that raises some great questions while also embracing an ambiguity about just who might be taking care of those deemed to have made it onto the naughty list. 

Coleman is decent in the lead role, not the best, but better than both Anderson and Sperduto. Ly is the best of the main cast members though, and I wish there was a way to keep her involved in more scenes. The film is notably better whenever she's onscreen, but the whole premise of the film revolves around Coleman's character ahead of anyone else. There may only be four leads, but Dana Millican gets to add another medical professional role to her CV and David Mitchum Brown pops up to play a Reverend for a couple of minutes. 

Sadly, while this worked for me, I can't imagine many others enjoying it as much as I did. I was happy to be patient, and happy enough with the infrequent flashes of gore (one bit of eye trauma is especially well done), but I was equally happy with the twisted and playful way the familiar material was presented. It's no absolute gem, but it is more ambitious and surprising than a hundred other features that could have been given this title. Others are unlikely to respond so positively to it, I assume, but I would love to hear from anyone else who was able to look past the obvious limitations to appreciate the substance of the whole thing.

7/10

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Mubi Monday: Winter In Sokcho (2024)

Based on a novel from Elisa Shua Dusapin, Winter In Sokcho is a film that should make most viewers smile. It has a consistent feeling through out, a sense of emotional wellbeing that never tips over into something too traditional and/or schmaltzy, and the two main characters wandering around onscreen do so in a way that keeps them connected without feeling inextricable from one another. This is the movie equivalent of observing a couple who can be just as happy sharing a room while they engage in other, separate, activities, as they are when out on a date.

Bella Kim plays Sooha, a young Korean girl who works in a guest house, which leads to her meeting a visiting French artist named Yan (Roschdy Zem). As the two wander around the local area, developing a connection that never seems to be pigeon-holed, Sooha starts to think more and more about her estranged father, as well as her own identity.

As I'm unfamiliar with the source material (which happens a lot, it takes less time to watch movies and shows than it does to read a book, and I only have so many hours in each day), I cannot say whether or not this adaptation will please those who have already read the story. It certainly feels right though, with the screenplay, from Stéphane Ly-Cuong and director Koya Kamura, doing a flawless job of conveying the mental state, and inner dialogues, of our two main characters. There are a few key conversations here and there, but most of the atmosphere and emotion comes from the physical performances of a man and a woman sharing their interests while dancing around what can be said and what can be left unsaid.

An important third character is Sooha's mother, played by Park Mi-hyeon, but the film mainly rests on the shoulders of both Zem and Kim, with both of them working so well together that it makes it very easy to believe in, and become invested in, their developing relationship. This isn't a pair of young lovers ready to throw away their heads and hearts for the sake of some romantic fantasy. It's just two people who keep sharing time and space until they realise that it's quite a natural, and good, feeling.

There are some problems here. Despite the title, I never felt the sense of place as strongly as the sense of connection. I'm also not sure that I was completely satisfied by the ending. Those aren't major criticisms though, and are easily offset by the performances, some moving and beautiful artistic interludes, and a chance to watch an onscreen relationship that feels more realistic and lovely than many of the overdone soulmating that are part of so many other movies. People often want the big gestures, the sweeping romance, the sparks and rainbows surrounding them 24/7. Love and happiness can just as easily surround you while you're sitting in the same room as your other half and reading a book or watching a movie, happy enough to know that they're still close to you. It can be just as much about wrinkling your nose up at the food your partner likes as it can be about sharing a plate of pasta and meatballs while pretending to be Lady And The Tramp. A lot of small connections make up that one strong connection. It's only those who stay removed from real life who don't see the romance inherent in all of those little details.

8/10

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Netflix And Chill: A Merry Little Ex-Mas (2025)

Things look set to be perfectly pleasant and civil when Kate (Alicia Silverstone) and Everett (Oliver Hudson) decide to "consciously uncouple" after years of relatively happy marriage. Everett just couldn't get enough time away from his job, and Kate spent many hours considering the career that she left behind. They hope to stay honest with one another though, and to be there together for their growing children (Gabriel, played by Wilder Hudson, and Sienna, played by Emily Hall). There's a surprise in store, however, when Everett has to admit that he's in a new relationship with Tess (Jameela Jamil). And there will be another surprise when Kate eventually gets around to telling everyone that she's aiming to sell the family home and have another stab at getting back on that past career path.

You may not appreciate the filmography of director Steve Carr, but he has a good selection of feature films that make him a less likely choice for this kind of thing. I'm going to assume that he was either offered a decent payday or he liked the screenplay, written by Holly Hester. Or both. It could always be both. Either way, Carr uses a great cast and all of the holiday season standards to make the most of Hester's writing. Things are kept so busy, between the main developments and the many enjoyable supporting characters, that it remains delightful for the entirety of the 91-minute runtime.

Silverstone is the shining star atop the tree here, giving the kind of bright and fun turn that makes you wish she was used more often. Not that she hasn't been doing good work in recent years, but she's more often to be found giving quirky supporting turns in less mainstream fare. She does so well here that it doesn't matter about Hudson being a much less interesting presence, something that becomes even clearer when he is also outshone by the wonderful Jamil, who is consistently hilarious. Another hilarious performer is Pierson Fode, someone I last saw being the standard romantic lead in The Wrong Paris. Fode is fantastic here as Chet, a man of many hats, and I hope to see him maintain this kind of variety in his roles as he moves forward in his career. Both Wilder Hudson (actual son of Oliver) and Emily Hall do fine, but are often witnesses to the unfolding events, as opposed to active participants, while Timothy Innes has the blessing and curse of playing a nerd obsessed with Harry Potter, Geoffrey Owens and Derek McGrath are delightful grandparents, and Melissa Joan Hart is given a role that is big enough to please fans, but small enough to avoid her ruining things.

There's nothing here to surprise you, especially if you're deliberately seeking out a Christmas movie as a seasonal distraction (and, let's face it, everyone who watches this stuff tends to do so for that very reason), and nothing that really marks it out as much better or worse than some of the other options to have appeared this year, but the cast make a huge difference. You get the snow, you get the minor set-pieces, and you get the disappointingly predictable ending (actually super-disappointing when you consider the other directions it could have gone). You also get Fode, Jamil, and Silverstone though, each one being arguably better than the material deserves, and all of them working well with everyone else onscreen.

7/10

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Shudder Saturday: The Occupant Of The Room (2025)

An adaptation of an Algernon Blackwood tale by writer-director Kier-La Janisse, presented in the annual short film presentations entitled "The Haunted Season", The Occupant Of The Room is a seasonally-tinged horror that, despite everyone involved, I reluctantly have to admit to really disliking.

Don McKellar plays a man, Minturn, who turns up at a remote hotel to find that his assumed reservation is not in place. And the hotel is fully booked. Well, there IS one room, but the occupant could return at any moment. A woman has gone trekking through the snowy surroundings, and it is assumed that tragedy has struck. If Minturn doesn't mind the circumstances, or the fact that the occupant could return (disturbing him, and requiring him to vacate the room at short notice), then maybe he could be accommodated.

I like what Janisse is aiming to do with "The Haunted Season", but it already looks as if she hasn't quite managed to stay in line with her own mission statement. Each episode/tale is supposed to be the kind of ghost story enjoyed at Christmas, a tradition that goes back many years. The most famous example of these would have to be A Ghost Story For Christmas, the fine BBC series that ran for a number of years, and has currently enjoyed a bit of a resurgence under the stewardship of Mark Gatiss. There are many others I would recommend, mainly in literary form, from classics written by the likes of Dickens and M. R. James to the wonderful, if slight, A Christmas Ghost Story, written by Kim Newman. I would even recommend the tale we had last year in this series, To Fire You Come At Last. Not this one though. It somehow lacks the required spooky atmosphere, focused instead on diving fully into the mindset of a main character who spends most of the time more confused than unnerved.

McKellar isn't bad in the main role, certainly trying hard to carry most of this short on his shoulders (as we spend most of the time with him alone in his room, of course). It's an internal performance though, given absolutely no help from his surroundings. Yes, there's a hotel room, and I understand not having money for outdoor shooting, but a few shots of snow-crusted windows and maybe some stock footage would have helped immensely. Ben Petrie and Delphine Roussel are okay in their small roles, despite both being required to act stilted and awkward in a way that also works against the potential spookiness. Janisse may have thought that this would help the atmosphere, but I would disagree. Although never physically onscreen, a voice performance from Maxine Peake is a welcome highlight. 

I really like the work that Janisse has done when it comes to her writing, her curating, and her documentary work. And I am sure that she is happy with how this has turned out. It just didn't work for me. I like my Christmas ghost stories to feel much spookier and chillier than this, although part of my problem with it may be down to the source material from Blackwood (who is far from my favourite of the celebrated writers in this genre).

3/10

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A Christmas Angel Match (2025)

While I watch many movies in December that I wouldn't watch at any other time of year, I still try to search high and low for the real gems. That's hard when it comes to the many TV movies churned out by companies wanting to supply people with some distracting cheer and warmth to play out while they wrap gifts and decorate their home. Sometimes you get something good though, whether it's a film with some unexpected laughs or a film that benefits from a stronger premise than the standard "busy professional woman is forced to spend some time in a small town, where she meets and falls for a laid-back small-town man who reminds her that there's more to life than just a career".

Meghan Ory plays an angel named Monica, a bit frustrated when she ends up forced to work alongside another angel named Michael (Benjamin Ayres). The two of them make connections between mortal human beings, and Christmas is a great time to do that, but they have a very different approach to the job. Monica is more about using classic moves to establish something deep and meaningful. Michael believes that fun is key to love. Can they work together to succeed in matching Patrick (Francesco Filice) and Daisy (Lindura)? It's vital that they do, and Gabriel (Michael Dickson) keeps reminding them of that, particularly as they seem to be struggling to get on the same wavelength.

Directed by Christie Will Wolf, someone with a whole heap of Christmas movies under their belt, and with Ory also working as a writer, as well as her work in front of the camera, this is a film that feels well-crafted and, unlike so many others, reassuringly slick. It's obviously still restricted in certain ways (the budget, the main messaging that needs to be delivered), but it's generally good fun, helped by two charming leads.

Ory is very enjoyable here, doing well to make her fastidious and set-in-her-ways character less annoying than she could be. Ayres has the easier role, the angel who enjoys watching and experiencing the human experience, and he moves through every scene with a consistently positive and fresh outlook. Filice and Lindura are less interesting, but it's fun to watch them being manipulated by our angelic match-makers, Dickson is suitably calm and smiley as Gabriel, and there are perfectly solid supporting turns from Amanda Jordan, Linda McCurdy, and S. G. Simpson.

You can tell every moment has been written to slot in between ad breaks, you can sense a familiarity in the score, and there's nothing here that moves too far away from what you'd expect. It's all elevated by a little bit of something extra though, whether that's the simple and effective depiction of heaven/angel world, the interactions between our leads, or even just the fact that it adds a couple of nice touches to explain some of the rules governing the conduct of angels. I genuinely enjoyed it, and would watch it again.

6/10

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Elf-Man (2011)

A Christmas vehicle for Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña (who will already be familiar to fans of the Jackass franchise), Elf-Man is a bit of silliness that makes up for the low budget and cheese with a couple of fun performances and some little jokes that actually work as intended.

It's coming up to Christmas, of course, and Eric Harper (Mackenzie Astin) has to get some last-minute errands done before settling in at home. Eric has been very busy making a scientific breakthrough that could change the energy usage of many homes. This makes him a target of a trio of robbers (Jeffrey Combs, Dave Coyne, and Larry Nichols), which also endangers his children (Ryan, played by Blake Kaiser, and Kasey, played by Carly Robell), grandma (Marty Terry), and the woman he is hoping to start a new relationship with (Amy, played by Mirelly Taylor). Things don't look good. Fortunately, there's an elf (Acuña) available to help them, but only if he can believe in himself as much as the others believe in him.

I'm not going to tell you that Elf-Man is actually any good. It cannot do enough to distract from the lack of resources, especially when there's a need for some special effects, and the acting is a mix of complete amateurism and absolute ham (Combs being the hammiest, and I don't mean that as a criticism). The simple tale tries to have a bit of something for everyone, considering the central message, the jokes, and the cast, but there's a chance that most end up hating it. Except me. I didn't love it, but I was amused by a few moments.

Director Ethan Wiley has a few other movies under his belt, having started his directorial career with a couple of horror sequels, as does his screenplay co-writer Richard Jefferies, but it's hard to think of anyone being able to do much better with what's available here. Considering this is a vehicle for him, a big hurdle is the limited acting ability of Acuña. I like the guy, but he's definitely not a great actor.

A few other cast members do better though. Combs is the star, showing why he's had such an enduring career that has gained him a loyal fanbase. He's aided by fun turns from Coyne and Nichols (the villains are often the most fun parts of this kind of film). Kaiser and Robell do okay as the two children, Taylor and Astin aren't too bad, and Terry just has to spend the majority of the film looking a bit bemused. She's not great, but she's saved from being the worst in the film by Acuña, who is completely unable to both act and react naturally within any scene.

There's the expected sweetness here, but the most fun comes from a running gag about the quality of grandma's baking, as well as any scene that has Combs overacting in a way that takes him closer to being a fun cartoon. Coyne being hilariously inept at disguising himself is also fun, as is an interaction between Nichols and a friendly police officer. None of these little positives are enough to make the film one I could recommend to many others, but I definitely didn't find it as painful as expected. Regardless, I'll be a bit generous with my rating. It is Christmas, after all.

4/10

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Prime Time: 12 Toys Of Christmas (2025)

If you think that it's easy to make a cheesy Christmas movie then you should try to watch a bad cheesy Christmas movie. There are many of them to choose from, and I guarantee you that most of them are made by people who thought they could do the job in their sleep. 12 Toys Of Christmas is one of the bad ones. It's kept watchable, just, by the fact that Stephanie Perk is a perfectly fine, if bland, lead. There's very little else to make this worth your time though.

Perk plays Olivia, a woman who heads off to visit her grandmother, Magdalena (Debbie Javor) in Hungary.  Not bothered by the fact that her Hungarian grandmother has no Hungarian accent, because why would she, Olivia spends her time finding out about her decased grandfather, and his Christmas tradition of doling out hand-made toys to select individuals. Olivia is helped by Andras (Gábor Kékessy), which helps to distract her from the fact that she also has a job to do for her demanding boss, Francesca (Nina Josephs).

Writer Alys Murray has a few other Christmas movies to her credit, which puts them on a better footing than writer Ric Forster, who seems to have made use of a familiar cast to churn out a whole heap of what seem to be live-action teen magazine stories in features that he also directed. As for director Adamo Halmo, this is their first feature. I doubt it will be their last, but we can live in hope. No, that is not me being nasty for the sake of being nasty. This is a film that reeks of laziness and disdain at every turn. You can almost hear Halmo saying "cut, that take will do, people who watch these movies will put up with any shit." Admittedly, there's some truth in that, but it's still nice to think of people actually making even the minimal effort to present something cheering and sweet.

The best Christmas films, whether they are cinematic features or Hallmark movies, give us an idealised version of the season. There's a good helping of cold snow, good helpings of warm cookies and hot chocolates, plenty of seasonal lights and trimmings adorning the buildings, and characters that at least feel as if they belong in the onscreen world. 12 Toys Of Christmas somehow gets too much wrong in a way that leaves nothing feeling right. The characters never feel natural, which may be the biggest problem, and that means that everything around them just feels like exactly what it is: set dressing.

As I already said, Perk is fine in the lead role. And when I say fine I mean mostly harmless. And when I say mostly harmless I mean . . . present. Kékessy is a bit weaker, but just has to remain handsome and kind throughout. Javor feels like she was asked to join in for a day or two, not told anything about her character, aside from the fact that she was a grandmother, and then wandered through an extra scene or two without any decent direction. Ferenc Köles isn't bad as the comic relief, although he doesn't live up to the name of his character, Hilarius, and Míra Korb is thankfully not overused as the obligatory "sweet" child.

While occasionally competent, this is an ultimately joyless experience, and if there's something you want to avoid in your Christmas movie then it's a feeling of joylessness. Even when compared to the many other movies this wants to sit alongside, 12 Toys Of Christmas is poor. Choose from one of the hundreds of better options instead.

2/10

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Bad Tidings (2024)

2024 was a very good year for the stars of Bad Tidings, which meant the timing seemed perfect for this Christmas movie. Chris McCausland was very popular on Strictly Come Dancing, raising his own profile as well as challenging perceptions and inspiring others by becoming the first blind winner, and Lee Mack seemed to become a permanent household fixture on TV, thanks to his presence on one or two comedy panel shows and his stint hosting The 1% Club. Putting them in a movie that had one being a capable blind man and one being a bit of a sarcastic grump didn't seem like a bad idea.

Co-written by Laurence Rickard, Martha Howe-Douglas, and McCausland, this is best described as a cross between Home Alone and any film about feuding neighbours. Mack plays Neil, a man who becomes more and more obsessed with his neighbour, Scott (McCausland). Neil believes that Scott is deliberately trying to wind him up, especially when it comes to his Christmas decorations. He can't complain too much though, because then everyone would accuse him of picking on an innocent blind man. Scott isn't as innocent as he appears though. Whatever their differences, Neil and Scott need to team up and work together when the plot contrives to have them being the only two people at home as their street is targeted by some opportunistic robbers.

While there are a few chuckles here and there, especially in the third act, I was really hoping for a bit more from Bad Tidings. It's good enough, but it just never hits the heights you might expect from the two talented leads, especially considering the fact that the film feels tailored to play to their strengths. A major factor may be director Tim Kirkby, who has spent a large part of his career filming TV comedy and stand-up work. Kirkby struggles to keep things moving smoothly enough, making the 80-minute runtime feel a bit overlong when you think of the wasted potential.

Both Mack and McCausland do well enough in the main roles, both very comfortable in roles that don't require them to stray too far from the onscreen personas they have presented for years now. Rebekah Staton, Ben Crompton, Emily Coates, and Josiah Eloi play the family of robbers, and they're fine, and the only other cast members worth mentioning are Sarah Alexander and Millie Kiss. 

Maybe my lukewarm response to this is due to me getting my hopes up. I'd seen the advertising and thought I'd be in for something a bit superior to other TV movies of the season. While it's certainly a step away from the star vehicles we get from America, it still aims to be a relatively inoffensive distraction for those just wanting something that can be viewed while wrapping presents and/or sitting down with a nice big cup of hot chocolate. I enjoyed the Christmas special of The 1% Club Christmas Special more though.

6/10

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Mubi Monday: Babyteeth (2019)

I have found myself saying this quite often lately, but here we have another movie that takes some very familiar elements and blends them in a way that allows them to feel relatively unique. Babyteeth has a married couple who are going through a rough patch, it has a young woman being quite captivated by the personality of someone who would be labelled as "from the wrong side of the tracks", and there's also a storyline about someone struggling to live a normal life while being affected by cancer.

Eliza Scanlen plays Milla Finlay, a schoolgirl unlikely to see full adulthood, thanks to the cancer attacking her body. Her parents (Anna, a musician, played by Essie Davis, and Henry, a psychiatrist, played by Ben Mendelsohn) are struggling to find the right balance between protecting their daughter and allowing her to enjoy all that she can in her life, which is why they end up being more patient and considerate when Milla brings home a new friend, an older drug dealer named Moses (Toby Wallace). A number of the main characters here use drugs for different reasons, but there might be a time when they can instead find their high/calibration in some other way. 

The first, and only (at this time), film directed by Shannon Murphy, working from a screenplay by Rita Kalnejas, adapting her own play, Babyteeth is one of those little films that seems unremarkable, and perhaps even a bit trite, until you start to be won over by the power of the many effective moments scattered throughout the runtime. On the one hand, I wish someone had pared this down by a good 10-20 minutes (it clocks in close to the 2-hour mark). On the other hand, there are no scenes I would necessarily vote to throw on the scrapheap. This is a story that is crafted well and lifted up by a great cast.

Davis and Mendelsohn are almost so appreciated nowadays that it seems redundant to praise their performances, but they absolutely make the most of material that gives them great individual moments, as well as some great moments together. There's no way to single one of them out, and they somehow manage to even take things up a notch in some powerful final scenes. Scanlen is perfect in her role, managing to convey her positivity and quirkiness without being stuck in a "manic pixie dream girl" rut. The constant presence of her cancer works against that, of course, but that shouldn't take away from how well she pitches her performance. Then we have Wallace, giving the kind of performance that makes me immediately want to check out more from his already-surprisingly-expansive filmography. Emily Barclay also does well to make a strong impression with her relatively small amount of screentime.

I enjoyed Babyteeth for every minute of the runtime. It sets everything up quickly enough, allowing viewers to spend most of their time watching the main characters connecting and interacting in both good and bad ways. The best thing about it is the way that it seems to hold back from judging people who find themselves in an unimaginably difficult situation, creating space and time for self-reflection as we ponder the beauty and ugliness of a universe that contains more wonders and delights than any of us could hope to see in a century, never mind whatever limited lifespan we're allotted by a cosmic roll of the dice.

9/10

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Netflix And Chill: The Carrier (2014)

There may be some people out there who like the sound of The Carrier AKA The Bag Man, a neo-noir crime flick that features a cast of familiar names - John Cusack, Robert De Niro, Crispin Glover, Dominic Purcell, Rebecca Da Costa, Martin Klebba, and Sticky Fingaz. I advise you now to push that positivity aside. This is a horrible mess of a film, and it's clear that most of the people in front of the camera turned up for a paycheck that they knew wouldn't require them to break a sweat.

As much as it pains me to do so, I'll give a very brief plot summary here. Cusack plays Jack, the carrier of the title. He's transporting and taking care of something on behalf of Dragna (De Niro). The only rule is that he cannot look to see what's inside the package. Hiding out at a remote motel, manned by a curious man named Ned (Glover), Jack soon gets himself mixed up with some trouble swirling around Rivka (Da Costa).

Apparently written by James Russo, and then worked on by Paul Conway and director David Grovic, this is about as painfully lazy and irrelevant as it's possible for a movie to be. It feels as if it would have been easier to slightly enjoy back in the mid-1990s, but this was released two decades later. None of the cast are on top form, with one or two acting as if they're trying to give a career-worst performance, the dialogue could have been written by someone who was handed a variety of soundbites snipped from a variety of much better crime movies, and the 108-minute runtime is at least 20 minutes too long.

Few people have squandered their talent in the latter part of their career more than Cusack, who has given many performances by now that convey his complete disdain for his main career. This performance belongs in that category, although I don't blame him for being unable to work up any enthusiasm for the material. Da Costa has to look lovely, and occasionally be in danger, which she does. I'm not any big fan of her, but she does okay with what she's given. The best person, and someone who brings some fun to the proceedings, is Glover though, and the film is good whenever he's around. Purcell also does pretty good, it's a shame that he's not in the movie more, and both Klebba and Mr. Fingaz are perfectly fine. De Niro, sadly, is not. He doesn't seem to loathe the thing as much as Cusack, but he certainly doesn't do more than the bare minimum. 

It's odd to think of how much work had to be done here to make this as bad as it is. The screenplay is dire, but it could have been saved by a charismatic lead performance. The charisma isn't here. Cusack actually inverts any charisma he once had, creating some kind of monochromatic negative photo version of himself. And I'll eat my own hair if I encounter anyone who feels invested in this long enough to care about how the third act plays out.

The only good thing I have to say about this is that I at least hope to never have to rewatch it. 

2/10

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Shudder Saturday: Good Madam (2022)

Directed by Jenna Cato Bass, who also worked on the screenplay with, it appears, everyone in the cast, Good Madam is a drama with a nice shading of horror that will work for those who can accept and enjoy movies that make use of some genre trappings to reckon with some major societal issues and/or injustices. I wouldn't necessarily recommend this to anyone just looking for a horror movie, but it's a rewarding experience for those who can handle their art with some creepy and unnerving imagery used throughout.

Tsidi (Chumisa Cosa) doesn't have anywhere to stay. She ends up visiting her estranged mother, Mavis (Nosipho Mtebe), a woman who has spent her life in devoted service to a a white family, and the Madam (Jennifer Borraine) at the head of it. Madam is now bed-ridden, but Mavis remains just as devoted and acclimatised to the way of life that is the only one she has known for many years. Tsidi resents what she sees, especially when it stirs up the memories of her own upbringing, an experience she doesn't want to pass along to her own young daughter, Winnie (Kamvalethu Jonas Raziya).

In case you didn't extrapolate from that plot description, Good Madam is an exploration of apartheid in South Africa and the ongoing ramifications of that. Watching Mavis go about her usual day is like watching a recently-released prisoner acting too bewildered by the entirety of the world and choosing to keep themselves in a small indoor space where they feel safe and a bit more in control. It's a reminder that history isn't just history. It can be massive generational trauma that reverberates for decades.

Cosa is brilliant in her role, constantly striving to move forward through a life that seems intent on holding her back. Raziya and Mtebe are also very good, each one seeing the world around them with very different eyes. Sanda Shandu plays a vital part in the proceedings, and his character helps to embody what our lead is fighting against. Erasure and oppression are obvious when part of major events, but they are allowed to continue whenever people stop resisting the pressure.

I assumed that Good Madam was going to be a bit of a struggle for me to get through, considering the subject matter. Well, that was wrong. Very easy to get into, with the characters quickly established and the main theme twisted around every scene like a double-helix of DNA, and even one or two moments that delivered some standard horror imagery (although still not enough for anyone wanting a good helping of bloodshed and thrills). If you've had your interest piqued by any of this discussion then you should definitely make time for this. If not, however, there's nothing in the film that will win you over.

8/10

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Noir-vember: Leave Her To Heaven (1945)

I love Gene Tierney. I love Gene Tierney so much that there's a chance I start every review of any Gene Tierney movie by stating my love for her. It doesn't make it any less true though. I've seen a fair few Gene Tierney movies, but there have been some blind spots that I should have seen long before now. Thankfully, I have friends to remind me of the many movies that I should make a priority, and last week I was told that I should definitely fit Leave Her To Heaven into my viewing schedule.

Tierney plays the beautiful and captivating Ellen Berent, a woman who captures the heart of a writer named Richard Harland (Cornel Wilde). Things move along quickly, a bit too quickly for the ex-fiance of Ellen, Russell Quinton (Vincent Price), and it's not long until the happy couple are living in wedded bliss. Well, there's the happy couple and Danny (Darryl Hickman), the polio-crippled younger brother of Richard. Ellen doesn't like to share though, and that isn't necessarily a good thing for a healthy relationship. It's also not a good thing for those who may take up some of the time and attention of her husband.

Based on a novel by Ben Ames Williams, Leave Her To Heaven is a good enough story that it would have been a great film in many different forms. It's directed well by John M. Stahl, who shows the right amount of confidence in the screenplay and his stars, and the writing from Jo Swerling does well to move viewers from a fairly standard opening act to the wild and heightened melodrama of the finale. 

Nobody really puts a foot wrong in front of the camera, although Hickman has to lean into the vulnerable and innocent "patient" persona as he tests the patience of Tierney's character. Speaking of Tierney, she conveys her willpower and steely resolve so well that it's easy to imagine her carrying the whole movie on her own. She essentially plays someone who is truly monstrous, but the edges are softened slightly by the fact that she's, well, Gene Tierney. She's ably supported by Wilde (even if he has to be a bit of a damn squib), a delightful Jeanne Crain, and a suave Price. There are a few other people populating this tale, but that central quartet is the reason for it being such a memorable and enjoyable experience. 

While I wouldn't place this alongside the absolute best Tierney films you could watch, that's only due to other specific titles setting a very high bar indeed. This would definitely be jostling with a few others just below the very best though, and it's certainly something you come away from with no questions about why it is so highly thought of. The runtime may be a bit longer than most noirs from this era, it's 110 minutes, and the bright colours may seem incompatible with the growing darkness of the plot, but don't let either of those things put you off. This is a classic. I'd love to spend much more time picking out specific highlights, but that would ruin the experience for anyone else yet to get around to it.

9/10

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Noir-vember: Fortune Is A Woman (1957)

A film noir that focuses on an insurance investigator who has his head turned by a beautiful woman. I must admit that I thought I knew how everything would play out when I pressed play on Fortune Is A Woman. It's not hard to predict the beats when a noir sets itself up in ways that lead to comparisons with one or two of the all-time greats. Surprisingly, things didn't play out exactly as I thought they would, although I did start to get in step with everything as the second half unfolded.

Jack Hawkins is Oliver Branwell, the aforementioned insurance investigator. When sent to deal with one Mr. Tracey Moreton (Dennis Price) he encounters an old flame, now married, Sarah Moreton (Arlene Dahl). After some conversation that includes some talk about arson, Oliver moves on to other work, although he enjoys being reconnected with Sarah. Things sadly get a bit too coincidental when Oliver spots a painting elsewhere that he believes belongs to the Moretons, just before there's some arson and a death, leading to a large windfall for Sarah.

There are a number of reasons to watch, and enjoy, Fortune Is A Woman, with the dialogue and plotting being quite an obvious draw. Adapted by Val Valentine from a novel by Winston Graham, the screenplay written by director Sidney Gilliat and Frank Launder maintains a great feeling of fun and a frisson of danger for the majority of the runtime. A big plus, however, is the inherent British politeness of the character played by Hawkins. There are at least two occasions that have him ready to fall on a sword that hasn't necessarily been placed directly in front of him.

Aside from Hawkins, who is a delight in his role, Dahl is also very good, and is allowed to work within an area of pleasing ambiguity while viewers try to figure out who is the real villain of the piece. Price is fine in his small role, Violet Farebrother is very good as his mother, and there are enjoyable performances from Ian Hunter, Geoffrey Keen, Bernard Miles, John Phillips, Greta Gynt (a scene-stealer), and even Christopher Lee, sadly only in the film for a couple of minutes.

There's a comforting cosiness to this. It's not one of those many noirs that will have you awaiting the ending with dread. It does still have stakes for the main characters though, and there's at least one corpse thrown into the mix. I had a great time with it, and the pacing of the 95-minute runtime is helped by the way in which the plot is almost broken up into a number of mini-vignettes (the set-up, the crime, and some investigative work only takes you to just over the halfway point, there is a bit more bobbing and weaving on the way to the end credits). The very last scenes may feel a bit underwhelming, but they don't do enough to spoil everything that came along before them.

7/10

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Prime Time: Riff Raff (2024)

I cannot recall the last time I watched a film that was SO reliant on the cast to keep viewers engaged and entertained. Of course, most movies rely on the cast. Riff Raff has nothing else going for it though. Nothing. And the cast are largely used to play popular screen incarnations of their typical personas.

Ed Harris is Vincent, married to the lovely Sandy (Gabrielle Union). He enjoys a quiet life, which seems set to get a bit quieter with his step-son, DJ (Miles J. Harvey), getting ready for college life. That quiet is interrupted, however, by the arrival of Vincent's son, Rocco (Lewis Pullman), Rocco's pregnant girlfriend, Marina (Emanuela Postacchini), and Vincent's ex-wife, Ruth (Jennifer Coolidge). Is it just a surprise visit to spend some quality time together? Or has Rocco done something to incur the wrath of two violent criminals, Leftie (Bill Murray) and Lonnie (Pete Davidson)?

This was written by John Pollono. I won't be rushing to watch anything else that he's written. It was directed by Dito Montiel. I also won't be rushing to watch anything else from him. All they have managed to do here is mash together a selection of tired and predictable tropes, made no effort to freshen things up, and then bagged a cast they assume will paper over the many cracks in their work. I like a few of these cast members, but few people would be good enough to paper over this many cracks.

The best person here is actually the one I don't know very well, Harvey. Harvey is wonderful, believably hanging around in that slight limbo between early teenage years and young adulthood. He's so good here that the film notably suffers during the scenes that he's not involved in. Murray and Davidson are often good fun in movies, but they're used here to do very little more than be Murray and Davidson. The same goes for Coolidge. Harris brings his hefty amount of baggage to his role, which helps do more for his character than anything in the screenplay, and Union tries to remain a bright spark amidst all of the murkiness. Pullman and Postacchini are both decent, even if the former is slightly mis-cast, but both deserve much better than what they're given here. 

There's nothing here to recommend this to all but the biggest fans of the cast, with the exception of Harvey's performance. The dialogue isn't as witty or weighty as it thinks it is, the plotting is tiresomely predictable and unsatisfying, Montiel doesn't bother to add any style to any scenes, and the ending puts some characters in peril without doing enough to get viewers to care. It avoids being unwatchable, mainly thanks to the competence of the performers, but it also avoids being any good.

4/10

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Noir-vember: Framed (1947)

This is the stuff. This is what you want when you start to swim through the murky waters of lesser-known noirs. Framed is enjoyably fast-paced, very blunt, and hits a lot of the expected tropes. It's also helped by the stoic Glenn Ford in the lead role, as well as a fine turn from Janis Carter.

Ford is Mike Lambert, a mining engineer who we first see finishing up a job as a truck driver. That job ends with him crashing into someone's car, thanks to some faulty brakes. His employer doesn't want to pay up, or accept any responsibility, but Mike demands his pay and then passes a compensatory amount over to the man who had his vehicle damaged. Stuck in town for a little while, and hoping to find a job in his main field, Mike eventually meets a woman named Paula (Janis Carter). Paula helps him out when he is arrested and ordered to pay a $50 fine, but she sees that as an investment to get Mike roped into a scheme that she has involving the vice-president of the local bank, Steve (Barry Sullivan), and a prospector named Jeff (Edgar Buchanan).

With a tight and lively screenplay from Ben Maddow, director Richard Wallace does plenty to keep viewers distracted from the fairly low budget here. It helps that everything begins with the old standby of the "stranger coming into town", and the pacing feels planned around the introduction of the various characters. There's Mike, the crash that makes his moral compass clear, then Paula, then Steve, Jeff being optimistic about a find that he needs money to properly mine, and one or two other individuals who present some key evidence on the way to a final scene that should lead to some kind of satisfying conclusion, whether it's for our hero or villain.

Ford may not be the most charismatic performer onscreen, but he does well when required to be fairly decent and blunt, making him a good choice for the lead here. Carter is a delight, delivering the kind of turn that makes her character a very entertaining and convincing femme fatale. Sullivan and Buchanan both do well enough, and it's also worth mentioning the main sequence featuring Barbara Woodell and Jim Bannon as our hero pretends to be an investigative reporter looking for some answers to report on a crime that isn't as clear cut as it first appears.

Having honed his skills throughout the first half of the 20th century, Wallace may not be a director many would think of as being worth checking out, but his filmography has a number of treats scattered throughout. Framed is one of them. It's not the best, and lacks the star-power and real darkness of many others I could mention, but Wallace does well with what he's given, and I can imagine many other film fans will enjoy it just as much as I did.

7/10

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Mubi Monday: House By The River (1950)

If you're like me then hearing the name Fritz Lang has your mind going immediately to two all-time classics of cinema. At the very least. Lang helmed some enduring masterpieces. You could even say that he Brigitte Helmed at least one of them (hey, it might be a weak pun, but I felt the need to share it). There are so many more movies throughout his filmography that are also worth checking out though, and House By The River is one such example.

Unable to control himself when the housemaid, Emily (Dorothy Patrick), comes close to him while dressed pretty and smelling nice, author Stephen Byrne (Louis Hayward) makes an unwanted advance. Being loudly rebuffed, he sets out to keep Emily quiet as a neighbour moves around outside. Which leads to murder. Stephen then concocts a story to garner the sympathy and assistance of his brother, John (Lee Bowman), and the two of them set out to dispose of the body and conceal the crime. Soon making use of the "disappearance" of Emily to gain some publicity for his books, Stephen starts to become more brazen, and it soon becomes clear that he can easily shift the blame to his brother if the finger of suspicion is pointed his way. It could be his wife, Marjorie (Jane Wyatt), piecing things together though.

Based on a novel by A. P. Herbert, this was one of a good run of thrillers and noirs written by Mel Dinelli, and I highly recommend checking out their first half dozen or so movies (at the very least). It's a delicious and dark premise, especially when the second half shows Stephen being "inspired" in his writing, and the two brothers being inextricably tied together by the crime is a great way to give viewers a way to easily root for one and against the other. 

It's hard to remember to credit Lang, but the fact is that he does such a good job with the direction that the film never feels forced or awkward, despite the contrivances being dotted around the plot to keep raising the stakes on the way to a strange, but very entertaining, final sequence. Lang steers the whole thing with a steady hand, allowing for it to jump between a feeling of very dark comedy and very palpable danger.

Hayward is very good in his role, always getting close to full-on panto villain without becoming outright laughable, and he's helped by some solid supporting performers. Bowman may have a decent amount of screentime, but he has to be the growing conscience of the film, meaning that he doesn't get to have nearly as much fun. He's easy enough to like though, as is Wyatt, and both deserve so much better than the apparent fate awaiting them in the third act. Patrick doesn't get many scenes, obviously, but does well enough in her role, and Ann Shoemaker, Jody Gilbert, Peter Brocco, Howland Chamberlain, and Will Wright all deliver enjoyable character turns.

Like some other Lang movies I could mention, although they are movies that aren't the first ones to be brought up when his filmography is being discussed, this has an excellent mix of superior visual language, dark content handled with a light touch, and sheer entertainment. Recommended.

8/10

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Netflix And Chill: No Country For Old Men (2007)

Sometimes you revisit movies and they hold up even better than you remembered. I find that happens to me often when I go back through the filmography of the Coen brothers. I'd seen No County For Old Men before (I would call it an essential viewing, but almost all of their features feel like essential viewing), but it had been a very long time. All that was left in my mind was a fading echo, sometimes made louder again by a clip shown online or a meme. Revisiting it this week was a real pleasure, and a reminder of how often I can seek cinematic comfort in so many of their works.

Josh Brolin plays Llewelyn Moss, a man who thinks he may be in luck when he stumbles across a bag of cash left at the scene of a drug deal gone wrong. Nobody would just accept that much cash going missing though, and Llewelyn soon finds himself being pursued by the relentless and ruthless Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem). Other people are also interested in where the money is, but the main game of cat and mouse is played out by Moss and Chigurh.

Adapted from a novel by Corman McCarthy, this is a bleak and brilliant slice of neo-noir that somehow allows the characters to continue feeling very much alive and ready for anything thrown their way . . . until death puts an end to their plans. The Coens take their time, especially in moments that show Chigurgh either killing people or letting their fate be decided by a coin toss.  

While it would be easy to spend all of my time praising Bardem, he does such a great job of portraying such an iconic character, everyone does well in their respective roles. Brolin is solid as the guy hoping to turn a bad situation to his advantage, Kelly Macdonald handles her accent well in the role of his wife, Carla, and both Tommy Lee Jones and Garret Dillahunt get some good scenes as two law enforcement officers who end up on the very edge of a horrible mess. There are also welcome roles for Woody Harrelson, Stephen Root, Barry Corbin, and Beth Grant.

It's hard to think of anyone watching this and not being able to appreciate it as a cinematic masterpiece, but I would say that about many of the Coen brothers movies. You have to accept a slower pace, as well as some idiosyncrasies, but the whole thing feels like some gorgeous piece of classical music all about life, death, chance, and fate. It doesn't necessarily build to a crescendo, but there's certainly a build up to something tremendous before the music then starts to gently fade out.

No Country For Old Men is a modern classic. If you don't agree with me then maybe you can agree that, to paraphrase a character in the film, "if it ain't, it'll do till one gets here."

10/10

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