Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

Never you mind those other Terminator sequels, THIS is the one true sequel to the first two movies. This is the timeline to stick with. This is the film that will right any wrongs from previous instalments. That's what James Cameron would like you to believe anyway. And some people might have believed him, there's always a slim chance, but most of us had been burned before, with a lot of the same positive soundbites being used to sell increasingly inferior sci-fi action movies that were always suffering from a lack of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The good thing is that this will be, for many, better than Terminator Genisys (although that's not a high benchmark to surpass). I still slightly prefer the previous instalment, but that's just me. The other good thing is that this has a decent amount of screentime for Schwarzenegger. There are some more positives, but not enough to quite outweigh the negatives.

Fate has been changed, and humanity may be safe. To a degree. There will still be a war, deadly machines will still want to kill off the human race, but at least everyone may have avoided judgment day, thanks to the actions of Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton). Which just means that it's time for a new person to become the prey (this time it's Dani Ramos, played by Natalia Reyes), a new protector to help her (an augmented human, Grace, played by Mackenzie Davis), and a newer type of robo-killer (REV-9, played by Gabriel Luna, a terminator that can operate his fluid exterior and metal endoskeleton independently of one another, if necessary). Sarah Connor ends up helping Dani and Grace, as does a surprisingly domesticated T-808 (Arnie).

Tim Miller is the man trusted to direct the action this time around, working from a script by David S. Goyer, Justin Rhodes, and Billy Ray, and something becomes clear within the first 10-15 minutes. This has been created to remind you of how much you love the second Terminator movie. That's all I can think of anyway. There's no other reason to have such poor CGI on display (the first main action sequence in a factory setting is an embarrassment of rich embarrassments), and to kick things off with a sequence that essentially feels like a gauntlet being thrown down that it doesn't deserve to have grappled hold of in the first place.

Things do pick up after the first act, but it's a bit too little too late, and relies on a hell of a lot of goodwill, and NO moments of overthinking things, from the viewer. Paradoxes and illogical moments abound, while characters range from the horribly bland (Dani, the REV-9) to the horribly malformed by the needs of the script (Connor, the T-808). Grace is the high point, which is mainly thanks to the sheer willpower of the talented Mackenzie Davis.

I am struggling to think of those who will find this anything more than a sci-fi action flick with a couple of ridiculous set-pieces (most of the third act is chock full of the kind of action that relies on every viewer not just suspending disbelief, but deliberately forgetting how any physical forces around us actually work). Newcomers won't get the references, those who have enjoyed the series from the first film will wish they weren't getting the references, and everyone will be happy enough if this is the last ever attempt to yet again keep wringing money from something that became irrelevant at least a decade ago.

5/10

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Terminator Genisys (2015)

I DID say the hiatus may be temporary. While there definitely won't be a review here every day, my recent EIFF 2015 attendance spurred me back into some enjoyable writing.

Terminator Genisys didn't seem to have much going for it. There's that title for starters. A horrible mess that seems like nothing more than an attempt to blend in with the cool kids. And it was coming along after Terminator Salvation. I like Terminator Salvation. I am, however, aware that my positive view of the film (and my equal enjoyment of Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines) puts me firmly in a minority. And then we had that spoiler-filled trailer, which actually puts it on a par with Terminator 2: Judgment Day in the "potentially great twists ruined by the need to market to a wider audience" stakes.

Despite the fact that you may have already had plenty spoiled for you, I'll try to surmise the plot without giving anything major away. Jai Courtney plays Kyle Reese this time, and he's sent back (as we all know) in time by John Connor (Jason Clarke). But instead of finding a frightened and vulnerable Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke) he finds a woman all-too-prepared for the battle that will affect the future of the planet. This is mainly due to the fact that she's had her own terminator (Schwarzenegger) serving as a protector for many years. She even calls him Pops. With everything so different, our leads hope to prove that the future is not set in stone, and that judgment day can be averted.

Let's cut to the chase here. Nostalgia. That's what proves to be the best thing about this movie, and also proves to be the worst. This is a film, arguably more than any other franchise instalment I can think of in recent years, that is reliant on the nostalgia of fans to carry viewers through a number of weak scenes. Newcomers are brought up to speed quickly enough, and will enjoy seeing everything unfold, but it is the older fans who will get the most from this. Scenes are either replicated from the first two movies or they are inverted in ways that writers Laeta Kalogridis and Patrick Lussier clearly think are clever. They're not. Every Terminator movie has had paradox problems (indeed, it's almost that way with every time travel movie, period), but this would seem to be the first movie in the series to take the paradox and just heap more and more complications on top of everything until viewers realise that this is one knot destined to never be undone. There's no satisfying explanation for that first major plot twist, which would surely already be known to everyone if the script wasn't cheating, and then we have Kyle Reese and his "impossible memories", people careening into the lives of others without any more notable ripples of cause and effect, and also a surprising lack of any sense of real threat while everyone moves from set-piece to set-piece.

Arnie makes it all worthwhile. Some will view him as Conan, some will always think of him fighting against the Predator, but he'll always BE The Terminator to me. Showing him as an older model here is the best idea that the film has (and the explanation doesn't entirely suck). Occasionally pitting him against the younger version of himself provides the best moments in the film, simply because the CGI doesn't feel overused or overly familiar in those moments. Jason Clarke is a decent John Connor, but that is the best I can say about the leads. Emilia Clarke isn't necessarily bad, she's just not believable as a tough woman who has been primed for her role as warrior and potential saviour of the planet. And how the hell Jai Courtney keeps getting work is a mystery that even Scooby Doo and co. couldn't get to the bottom of. I charitably mentioned to others that he wasn't as bad as usual here, but then I remembered that he was supposed to be portraying Kyle Reese. No. No, no, no, no. He doesn't work, which is pretty much how you could sum up his performance in every movie he's starred in. J. K. Simmons does well with a character who doesn't need to be in the film at all, and Lee Byung-Hun deserves more than the small amount of screentime that he's given.

Director Alan Taylor feels as if he's playing things very safe, allowing himself to be led by the script, and the movies that have come along beforehand, instead of putting any kind of personal stamp on the material. It's a savvy move, I guess. This instalment will inevitably make money so why take risks? Yet it's hard to stop thinking about just how much better things could have been if everyone involved had attempted to move slightly off the beaten path. How much more enjoyable could the action scenes have been if they didn't feel so familiar to scenes from the first two films, especially when they suffer in comparison? The FX work here varies in quality, and nothing delivers that impact that most of us felt when we first saw Terminator 2: Judgment Day (which was almost twenty five years ago now - a quarter of a century). And don't even get me started on just how lame the entire finale is. The writer in me wanted to think of a better word than "lame", the realist in me knew that it was the most appropriate adjective.

Although I've already seen a wide range of opinions on this movie already, from the outright hating of it to the pleasantly surprised, I have to say that I think most people will at least enjoy parts of it. Despite the many complaints I have about different aspects of the movie, I was entertained for most of the runtime, and a few of the action beats were very enjoyable. It's just a shame that this is the blandest and safest Terminator movie yet. AND it has Jai Courtney in it.

6/10

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Sabotage (2014)

Despite the addition of guns and gore, Sabotage is little more than another riff on And Then There Were None, a fine thriller by Agatha Christie. A group of people are invited to come together, their numbers start to dwindle, and everyone wonders whodunnit. I'm not sure if Christie first came up with the concept, in fact I highly doubt it, but she seemed to package everything in a way that was much more desirable to mass consumers. Unlike David Ayer, who seems to package everything in layers of unpleasantness and misanthropy. That sometimes pays off, and I actually like most of his movies, but not in this case.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is the leader of a crack undercover team of DEA agents. They kick down doors where angels fear to tread. And the film opens with them setting themselves up for a nice payday. They're raiding a major drug den, containing a MAJOR pile of money, and skimming about $10M off the top for themselves. Unfortunately, the money then goes missing, the team are investigated, and nobody is happy as they are forced to spend a fair bit of time sitting on their hands, as it were. Things could be looking up, however, when the investigation is ended and the team can go back to doing what they do best. Which is when someone starts killing them off, one by one. And it must be someone good, because these guysare trained to stay alive in some dangerous situations.

Starting off strong, the first 5-10 minutes are pretty great, Sabotage quickly starts dropping in quality with each scene, all the way to a finale that it's hard to care about. That's not to say that there aren't moments of easy entertainment. The nasty deaths are a highlight, and you do (or . . . . should, hopefully) at least want to find out who the killer is. It's just a shame that the rest is such a mess, with a script, written by Ayers and Skip Woods, as weak as any I can think of in recent years. The macho posturing bullshit starts to grate after that opening is over and done, and that's pretty much all that the rest of the movie has to offer.

If you want an object lesson in how to waste a potentially great cast then this is a movie to watch with a pen and notepad beside you. Arnie is the leader of the gang, so he fares better than the rest, but Mireille Enos, Sam Worthington, Terrence Howard, Joe Manganiello, Josh Holloway, Max Martini and Kevin Vance are just one mass of muscular douchebags waiting for their potential deaths. Enos is particularly ill-treated, especially considering what a kick-ass first impression she makes in the opening sequence. And we get poor Olivia Williams struggling, both with an American accent and the fact that she has to be a tough investigating officer one moment and then warming to big Arnie the next. In comparison, Harold Perrineau, playing her partner, comes out of the whole thing relatively unscathed. Relatively.

You get some gunfire, you get some blood and guts, you get the eye-rollingly frustrating cliche of tough men and women who work hard and play hard, and you get one or two minor twists to enjoy. What you don't get are characters that you'll enjoy spending time with. Not a one, which leads to the growing apathy that will stay with you even during those last 20 minutes or so. You may as well watch the Beastie Boys video instead, which is much more fun.

5/10

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Sci-Fi September: The Running Man (1987)

Based on a novella written by Stephen King (writing as Richard Bachman at the time), The Running Man may be a few sidesteps too far from the original material for literary purists, but it's a whole heap of fun, thanks to the fact that the premise was retooled into a star vehicle for action icon Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Directed by Paul Michael Glaser (who will, for many of us, always be Starsky from Starsky & Hutch), the plot concerns a wrongly-convicted Arnie (playing Ben Richards) being given the chance to appear on hit TV show, The Running Man. Of course, he's not really got any say in the matter. The host of the show (Damon Killian, played by Richard Dawson) will do anything for even higher ratings, and it soon becomes clear that the show has no winners, thanks to the way that footage is manipulated, contestants are smeared, and lies upon lies are spoonfed to the ever-hungry audience. Oh, and the aim of the show? Avoid death by avoiding the armed stalkers who are sent in after the contestants.

It may be lesser fare when compared to the other big sci-fi movies starring Arnie, but The Running Man has a lot to recommend it. The script, by Steven E. de. Souza, focuses on media manipulation and how it can be used to control society, but it's equally just about Arnie fighting big meanies and then throwing out his usual one-liners.

The direction from Glaser is fine, with the visuals accompanied by another great soundtrack by Harold Faltermeyer (the man best known for creating the Axel F theme for Beverly Hills Cop). He sets up everything briskly, and the visuals reflect the featured game show, with everything shiny and new on the surface, yet slightly grubby and cheap when the main characters see behind the scenes.

Arnie is still in his Arnold Prime phase here, and absolutely brilliant. Dawson, well-known as a popular TV host in America, does an excellent job of subverting his polished, showbiz persona. Maria Conchita Alonso is fine as a young woman who doesn't believe in the innocence of Ben Richards, until some things just don't add up, and there are supporting roles for names as varied as Yaphet Kotto, Kurt Fuller, Jesse Ventura, Marvin J. McIntyre, Jim Brown, Mick Fleetwood and Dweezil Zappa. Yes, you read those last two names correctly. They both have minor roles in this movie.

It feels slightly dated nowadays, and was never really built to hold up over the years as an enduring classic, but The Running Man also manages to overcome that aspect, thanks to both the sheer entertainment factor and the fact that the look at media manipulation is even more relevant than it was back in the late '80s. In a world stuffed full of Big Brother, Britain's Got Talent, and so many other "reality" shows, it's good to remember that it's all done with editing.

8/10

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The Expendables 3 (2014)

Well, here we are again. I enjoyed The Expendables, as did many other people. The Expendables 2, on the other hand, fell a bit flat. It was too busy being smug and self-referential to work as well as the first movie. Thankfully, this third outing is a bit of a return to form.

The plot this time sees Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) recruiting some newcomers to help him track down a very bad man (Mel Gibson) who was once one the same team as Barney. But will the newcomers be up to the task? Or will Barney still need some help from his regular colleagues (Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, and Jet Li)?

That's all you need to know. The essence of the movie has already been made clear from the advertising campaing. If you haven't seen it then let me surmise it for you just now: STALLONE, STATHAM, LUNDGREN, CREWS, COUTURE, LI, SCHWARZENEGGER, BANDERAS, SNIPES, FORD, ROUSEY, ORTIZ, LUTZ, POWELL, GIBSON. If this is successful enough to lead to a fourth movie then they're going to need a much bigger poster, because it's all about mixing the action beats with more star power than you'd usually glean from a dozen movies of this ilk. Everyone does a good enough job, all clearly having fun, and that fun is infectious. Gibson is a bit underused, although he does his best with the role, but these movies always struggle to give everyone enough screentime (Harrison Ford only gets a few minutes, and Jet Li pops up for what amounts to a fleeting cameo).

Before opening in cinemas nationwide, The Expendables 3 was already getting a lot of attention for two main reasons. One, the content was being toned down to appeal to as wide an audience as possible. Two, a torrent of DVD quality leaked online a few weeks before the big release date. For the first part, I have to say that I didn't notice this being a lighter affair. There may be less actual bloodshed, but the fights and stunts are all still top-notch stuff. As for that torrent, the conspiracy theorist in me wonders whether or not someone had the bright idea of doing that to head off any potential disappointment at the box office. I recommend seeing the movie in the cinema, with all of the action accompanied by some major, seat-rumbling, surround sound, and I hope it actually does well enough to satisfy all those involved.

Patrick Hughes may be the director this time, with Stallone on screenwriting duties once again (this time accompanied by Creighton Rothenberger and Katrin Benedikt), but this is a film, and indeed a franchise, that seems designed to work no matter who is behind the scenes. It's all down to the stars, it's down to the set-pieces, and it's down to the many fantastic stunt performers who help create such memorable moments.

Highlights include an opening sequence that celebrates Wesley Snipes joining the crew, and actually features a winking gag that works well, a sequence in which Stallone is joined by Kelsey Grammer as he looks to recruit his new team, Banderas being a non-stop motormouth, and pretty much any scene starring the lovely Ronda Rousey.

It's cheesy, it's dripping with machismo, it's completely over the top. In short, it's in line with the series, and delivers exactly what fans will be hoping for.

7/10

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Escape Plan (2013)

You don't watch a movie starring Sylvester Stallone, or Arnold Schwarzenegger, and expect logic and common sense to be the top priorities. I get that, I really do. But Escape Plan, which stars both men in lead roles, is even sillier and full of plot holes than it needs to be. It's so careless that the enjoyment factor is slightly ruined.

Stallone plays Ray Breslin, a man who can escape from pretty much any prison that's been designed. He's so good at it that he's made it his job. He gets incarcerated, under a false identity. He gets out. The prison gets a report that details the weaknesses in their security. When he's offered a bumper fee, Ray allows himself to be grabbed and thrown into another prison. This time, however, things are even tougher than usual. His colleagues have no idea where he is, the prison warden (Jim Caviezel) knows of his reputation and wants to make sure that he doesn't leave, and the prison is full of transparent cells, making for a much tougher challenge. The only plus point comes in the unlikely form of a prisoner named Rottmayer (Schwarzenegger).

Directed by Mikael Hafstrom, and written by Miles Chapman and Jason Keller, this is a film that really could have had anyone behind the camera. There doesn't seem to be any individual style stamped on the thing. That's fine, however, because everything is geared towards getting Sly and Arnie working together onscreen, and that is often enough to carry the whole thing along. Yes, the two worked together on The Expendables movies, but this time around they get to do more than reel off one-liners and cash in on nostalgia.

Both of the leading men are great. They've still got it when it comes to delivering the action. I've never been a fan of Jim Caviezel - I can't think of a leading man with less charisma in the past couple of decades (well, maybe Edward Burns, but that's it) - and, while he does slightly better than usual here, this is another performance that hasn't converted me. It's a part that's crying out for Eric Roberts, of course, and Caviezel sure as hell ain't no Roberts. Faran Tahir does just fine with his part, another prisoner who ends up being important to the grand plan, and Sam Neill is great as the prison doctor, a man who tries to do his job without thinking of the bigger picture. Vincent D'onofrio, Amy Ryan and Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson also do well as Sly's colleagues.

Escape Plan is entertaining. It doesn't require too much concentration, the cast have fun and you will root for Sly to win the day. It's a shame, then, that everything wasn't just tightened up ever so slightly. The details revealed to viewers that are supposed to make you think "aaahhhhhhhhh, very smart" just end up highlighting the fact that it all hinges on good fortune and other characters being blind, stupid, or both. The fact that there isn't even one great set-piece is another disappointment.

You'll be able to watch and enjoy this movie, but I don't think it's one that will end up being revisited all that much. Disposable fun, boosted by the charismatic leads.

6/10

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Last Action Hero (1993)

Not really a big success on initial release, Last Action Hero is one of those movies that I am glad to see get a bit of a second wind on shiny disc form. It always had fans, but I think that fanbase has grown steadily over the last decade and the film deserves it.

The film is, essentially, a cross between The Purple Rose Of Cairo and, well, any blockbuster action movie of the '80s and '90s. A young boy named Danny (Austin O'Brien) is given a magic ticket by his projectionist pal (Robert Prosky) that was apparently passed down years ago by one Harry Houdini. Danny spends as much time as possible in the cinema watching his movie idol, Jack Slater (Arnold Schwarzenegger), and this night is very special because his projectionist pal is allowing him to see a sneak preview screening of Jack Slater IV, hence the passing on of the magic ticket. Although not expecting the cinema ticket to do anything that's REALLY magical, Danny finds that he should never rule out the impossible when he finds himself transported to the world inside the movie. He has a lot of fun trying to explain to Jack Slater what is really going on (and Slater doesn't appreciate being told that he's a fictional character being played by a man with a name that he can't pronounce) while checking off all of the action genre cliches and also providing the police with some vital information thanks to the scenes he saw at the beginning of the movie. This annoys Benedict, a dangerous hitman played by Charles Dance, no end . . . . . . . . . . until Benedict starts to piece together the implausible scenario, and then gets the ticket for himself. The real world isn't ready for a collection of cinematic villains, but Benedict doesn't care. He plans to use the ticket to free the likes of Dracula, some zombies and even King Kong. First of all, however, he helps Ripper (Tom Noonan) escape. Ripper was the villain who caused the most pain for Jack Slater, and now he's encouraged to get his revenge by killing Arnold Schwarzenegger. Is this making sense?

Superb entertainment from start to finish, Last Action Hero is also consistently clever and so meta that it often looks like a serpentine creation in danger of eating its own tail. It was deemed by many back in 1993 as a smug, overblown action comedy that was trying to have its cake and eat it while those involved shouldn't have dared to bite the hand that had fed them over the years. Admittedly, it is a bit overblown in places, and overlong at just over two hours, but I can't think of a better time for this movie to have been made than when Arnie was at the height of his A-list action star status and director John McTiernan was known best as the man behind Die Hard and Predator (as opposed to the man who also gave us the Rollerball remake). Shane Black, who co-wrote the screenplay with David Arnott, would actually refine things slightly with his directorial debut, the superior Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, but this particular movie is a mix of big names, studio excess, a multitude of pop culture references and a foundation of real intelligence.

After a standard action movie opener, with tongue firmly in cheek, the film is one of two halves. In the first half, Danny enters the movie world and can spot the genre conventions, stereotypes and general Hollywood illusions, using it all to his advantage and not ever feeling TOO worried as he helps out Jack. In the second half, the movie characters enter the real world, OUR world, and this provides a bit more danger while also keeping the comedy running strong as unwitting characters take their time to find out that the movie rules no longer apply.

The main cast members all have a great time. Austin O'Brien is stuck playing a character who is a bit too cocky at times, but Arnie is getting to do what Arnie does best (on top of that, he also plays himself in a few scenes alongside his real wife of the time, Maria Shriver) while Charles Dance and Tom Noonan bring their effortless brilliance along to portray two very different types of villains. Robert Prosky is as wonderful as always in the role of the kindly projectionist, Mercedes Ruehl is good as Danny's worried mother and Bridgette Wilson shines in the relatively small role of Jack Slater's daughter. Elsewhere, Frank McRae is very funny as the constantly shouting Lieutenant Dekker, Anthony Quinn is a mobster, F. Murray Abraham is a policeman and Ian McKellen is Death. Yes, Death . . . . . . . from The Seventh Seal. Throw in cameos, however brief, from the likes of Sharon Stone, Robert Patrick, Chevy Chase, Jean Claude Van Damme, Joan Plowright, Tina Turner, Bobbie Brown, Angie Everhart, James Belushi and many more and you have the action genre movie equivalent of The Player. Which is no bad thing.

Working on two levels, because let us not forget that McTiernan IS a master action movie director and Schwarzenegger IS an action movie STAR, Last Action Hero does get to have its cake and eat it. Fans of standard action movies will find enough here to keep them amused, if they somehow don't get or appreciate the humour, while fans of the satirical premise will have a field day keeping up with the cliches and references. You can find subtlety and grace elsewhere, this is the only place to see Arnie giving a unique interpretation of Hamlet. Need I say more?

8/10

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Pumping Iron (1977)

It may not be entirely factual and it may not even be entirely "real", but Pumping Iron stands up today as one of the best documentaries you can treat yourself to. It's all about bodybuilders and looks at both amateurs and professionals as they train to take part in the Mr. Universe and Mr. Olympia competitions in 1975. The focus of the whole thing is Arnold Schwarzenneger, not quite the star he would become, but already emanating charisma and a forceful presence as he sets out to defend his Mr. Olympia title and try to win it for the sixth time, fending off Serge Nubret, Franco Columbu and a young Lou Ferrigno.

Based on an idea by George Butler (who co-wrote the book "Pumping Iron" with Charles Gaines and then co-directed this with Robert Fiore), it's certainly a documentary with an interesting subject at its core anyway, but things are made doubly interesting by the presence of Arnie. The man is the physical embodiment of how to achieve success by putting your mind to it and shedding the blood, sweat and tears. Of course, the same can be said of all the competitors shown, but there's a reason that Arnie is the only one of them trying to win Mr. Olympia for the sixth time. He's charming for every moment that he's onscreen, even when he's deliberately attempting to psyche out a nervous Lou Ferrigno, but he's completely focused on absolutely everything he does, whether that's weightlifting or speaking to an interviewer or making "smalltalk" with the competition before going on stage.

If this was all just about Arnie, however, then it would soon get pretty tiring. Thankfully, the other tales being told are equally worthy of the time given over to them. Seeing Lou Ferrigno being trained and motivated by his father hammers home just how much effort is required in every department. Ferrigno has the size, but does he have the definition? Does he have the ability to pose fluidly and perfectly, showing off his muscles in the best way possible? Then we have the sportsmanship, or lack of it, shown by Ken Waller as he competes in an amateur competition against Mike Katz. The latter seems like a fairly sweet guy, which is a shame when he ends up alongside someone like Waller (who doesn't seem to have the skills/charm/intelligence of Schwarzenneger and so just resorts to pettiness to help him have the upper hand in the competition).

Great documentaries are the ones that just get the stars to align while the camera is rolling. They capture lightning in a bottle, as I've mentioned before, and they appeal to a broad audience, no matter how niche the subject matter seems to be. I can see Pumping Iron putting off plenty of people - there were moments in the first 5-10 minutes in which I wasn't sure if I could keep watching those bulging muscles and veins (it's pretty gross to a weedling like me) - but how can you really not want to watch anything that starts off with Schwarzenegger learning some ballet moves to improve his posing technique?

8/10

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