The Woman In The Yard (2025)

Another film that gives you a title that is all you need to know about it, The Woman In The Yard is all about, well, a woman in the yard. She's not up to anything. She doesn't help to cut the grass and tidy up the area. She doesn't set up a stall and start some unexpected yard sale. She just sits there, covered by a dark shroud, and causing some upset for Ramona (Danielle Deadwyler) and her two children (played by Peyton Jackson and Estella Kahiha). And they were already upset by the kicks and punches delivered upon them by life.

It's been a few years now since Jaume Collet-Serra helmed a film that was properly good (although I am very much aware that most people liked Jungle Cruise a lot less than I did), he seems to do one every five years or so that allows him to retain the goodwill of most film fans, and this isn't one of his better features. He's not helped by a screenplay from Sam Stefanak that makes it painfully obvious that this is his feature debut. The required atmosphere isn't established well enough, nor is it maintained throughout the runtime, and the third act is the kind of "oh look, aren't we being clever?" nonsense that will have most viewers rolling their eyes. There's a good idea for a short film here, but it's overstretched to 88 minutes.

Despite not being given great material to work with, Deadwyler does well enough in the lead role. She's given decent support from Jackson and Kahiha, as well as Russell Hornsby (playing David, who appears in a number of flashbacks), and Okwui Okpokwasili is allowed to sit there and emanate menace as the titular woman. It's a real shame that all of these performances are mired in a film so undeserving of them, despite the assumed best intentions of all involved. 

This wants to use the horror movie trappings to explore grief and mental health, in a way that has been managed so successfully by other titles I could point you toward right now, but it forgets to deliver enough substance. We don't really get to know the characters before the woman in the yard appears, there's a disappointing lack of full-blooded horror to make up for what it lacks elsewhere, and the third act shows a real lack of confidence and clarity as the film-makers try to tie everything up neatly before the end credits roll.

I wanted this to be much better, particularly for Deadwyler. Every unfolding minute just made me feel worse and worse though, knowing that I was wasting my time with something that was competently made, from a technical standpoint, but ultimately weak. It also doesn't feel like it makes the point that it really wants to make, certainly not with any weight behind it anyway. A lot of the individual elements are far from terrible, but everything is put together to create a finished product that feels amateurish and completely mishandled.

4/10

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Netflix And Chill: Carry-On (2024)

Taron Egerton plays Etahn Kopek, a young TSA agent who ends up having a very difficult shift in a busy airport on Christmas Eve. It's all thanks to a mysterious stranger (Jason Bateman) who ends up threatening Kopek to let a piece of luggage through the security system that really shouldn't be anywhere near an airport. Kopek doesn't want to co-operate, of course, but there's also another villain (Theo Rossi) keeping an eye on his pregnant partner, Nora (Sofia Carson). Meanwhile, one detective (Elena Cole, played by Danielle Deadwyler) senses something unusual about the latest case she is working on, and her investigation may eventually lead her to the same airport where our hero is desperately trying to stall for time.

Sometimes I watch a film and have such a strong reaction to it (whether positive or negative) that looking around online to see myself being very much in the minority makes me wonder if I missed something major. Despite what many others may tell you, Carry-On is awful, and not often in a fun way. I've seen people praise it as a throwback to simple action thrillers of the '90s, but that is just being rude to the simple action thrillers of the '90s. I've also seen people go on about how it's just a bit of fun that allows viewers to switch their brain off and enjoy the ride. There's switching your brain off and then there's being placed into an induced-coma to stop you asking too many questions. This film would have to do the latter to be considered anything more than an insulting mess.

Let's start with that dire script, written by T. J. Fixman, who unsurprisingly has a history made up of various Ratchet & Clank projects, as well as one other videogame. I don't always mind films that set everything up in entirely obvious ways, offering a comforting familiarity with how predictable it all is, but there's no finesse here at all. Even worse, there's absolutely no attempt to make things feel plausible. The main plan is silly enough, once you think about it for more than a moment, but would be perfectly fine if the rest of the film didn't try to find a breaking point for anyone suspending their disbelief. Want to warn your loved one about a potential sniper threatening their life? Do it in front of the biggest set of windows possible, as opposed to a backroom that has already been described as a total blindspot earlier on in the film. We're told many times at the start of the movie how busy the airport will be on this particular day, which doesn't seem to matter when people are looking for other airport staff or members of the security team. And let's not even waste energy rolling eyes at how amazingly quiet the airport car park becomes when someone is being chased by a van, and then a gun-toting killer who vacates said van. Those are just the "highlights", but you get the idea. None of the dialogue feels natural and flowing, and everyone is hampered by the silliness of the central idea.

As for director Jaume Collet-Serra, he represses any of his style and skill to deliver something that simply sits alongside numerous other "identi-kit" features paid for by Netflix. Okay, he no longer always shows off the eye he had while making the likes of House Of Wax and Orphan, but I defy anyone to watch this without credits and then name him as the director. 

I wish I could say that the cast at least work to improve the material, but they don't. Egerton is someone I normally enjoy watching onscreen, but he has to spend a lot of his screentime here responding to a voice speaking to him via an earpiece. How does he show his worry and stress? A twitchy left eye. It's distractingly overdone, and he isn't helped by the fact that his character has to wade further into the waters of implausibility than anyone else. Bateman is decent, but not entirely convincing as the manipulative criminal mastermind. Carson and Deadwyler are both slightly underused (although Deadwyler ends up involved in what is arguably the worst sequence in the film, an eye-wateringly bad stunt sequence involving cars soundtracked to "Last Christmas" on the radio), Rossi never feels as competent as he should, and everyone else, from Logan Marshall-Green and Dean Norris to Sinqua Walls and Curtiss Cook, is completely wasted.

I liked some of the very end scenes, but even that felt like some small consolation after expecting another twist that didn't happen. I wasn't just unhappy as the end credits rolled, I was bloody annoyed at once again being won over by a trailer for a film that turned out to be, while harmless and fairly inoffensive, another slick and empty waste of time (for both myself and those involved in making it).

4/10

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Black Adam (2022)

Dwayne Johnson spent a lot of time in the run up to the release of Black Adam by telling people that "the hierarchy of power in the DC Universe is about to change". I'm not sure anyone really believed him, but I was certainly willing to give him a chance to strut his stuff in a full-on superhero movie. It's probably going to be the only Black Adam movie we get, at least for now, and one or two quick-witted people online have already made an observation about the irony of Johnson being "dethroned" due to, well, a change in the hierarchy of power at DC.

It’s really easy to sun up this film. Adam is woken up by some people, he is pretty angry, and he starts to cause a lot of damage to property and people in the country of Kahndaq. A few talented individuals, known as the Justice Society, are sent to meet with Adam. If he cannot be reasoned with then he must be stopped. Which is strange, considering that Kahndaq hasn’t been of interest to the likes of the Justice Society while the people have been suffering under forces of oppression. Some people believe that Adam will be the savior of Kahndaq, but many more believe him to be a powerful threat to the entire world. There’s a much bigger threat on the way though. As always.

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra, delivering a film that is in line with most of the standard DC movies of the past few years (big in scale, plenty of polish, but just a little bit of extra grit and seriousness to remind you that DC desperately wants to be more than just escapist fun), Black Adam is, for the most part, surprisingly dull. Or maybe it isn’t that surprising. After all, the character is so similar to Superman that a lot of the big superhero moments feel overly familiar, and the plotting is as predictable as expected. That didn’t stop me from enjoying the last team-up between Collet-Serra and Johnson (the fun Jungle Cruise), but this feels like a step down. The balance is wrong, especially when the moments of actual heroism are the least enjoyable moments of the film.

Writers Adam Sztykiel, Rory Haines, and Sohran Noshirvani go through the motions for over half of the runtime, but at least it feels like Haines and Noshirvani are happy to be given such a big blockbuster in which they can make some interesting points about American intervention around the world and the ways in which different countries can help or hinder one another. This strand is the most interesting part of Black Adam, and you know it has to be pushed aside for a grand finale that will be overflowing with the usual display of visual FX. I admit that I enjoyed the look of the main villain here, but it was, as with most of the movie, tiresomely familiar.

Johnson is very good in the lead role here, as you expect him to be, and he gets a chance to show some actual acting, as opposed to just dominating the screen with his presence and bulk. It’s not all through the film, but it’s there, and credit where credit is due. Pierce Brosnan and Aldis Hodge are two senior members of the Justice Society, both doing their best to remain confident and cool in ridiculous costumes, and Noah Centineo and Quintessa Swindell are enjoyable enough as younger superheroes. Sarah Shahi is a good non-superpowered character, Marwan Kenzari does fine in depicting a character journey that keeps him on a rigidly set path, and young Bodhi Sabongui is the boy at the heart of the tale (the Edward Furlong to Johnson’s caped “terminator”) and my opinion of his performance is best summed up by me saying that Edward Furlong was arguably the weak point of that movie, but Sabongui doesn’t even manage to get to that level.

There are a lot of fun little Easter eggs dotted throughout this, eagle-eyed DC fans will find plenty to amuse them, and the technical side of things, from the special effects to the score, the production design to the audio work, is all as good as it should be. It’s easy to see why this didn’t set the world alight though. And it is now further weakened by a post-credit scene that is Joe rendered completely pointless. 

5/10

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The Commuter (2018)

One of a number of generic action vehicles that director Jaume Collet-Sera made with star Liam Neeson, The Commuter has very little to recommend it. And yet, surprisingly, there are treats hidden away within it.

Neeson plays Michael, an ex-cop who now works for a life insurance company. Well . . . worked for them. He is let go, which means his train ride home may well be his last commute for a while. He ends up engaged in conversation with a woman (Vera Farmiga) who makes him a hypothetical offer of thousands of dollars to identify an individual on the train. The offer is less hypothetical than it first appears, however, and Michael ends up trying to find this person while also trying to save the lives of everyone on the train.

As preposterous and predictable as you think it’s going to be, The Commuter is also, like a number of other Neeson-led action vehicles, easy entertainment when you want something pretty brisk and silly. A lot of that is thanks to Neeson himself, of course, and many people will know in advance whether they want to see another action thriller barely indistinguishable from the many other action thrillers he has made over the past decade.

The script is nonsense. It’s hard to believe that three people - Ryan Engle, Philip de Blasi, and Byron Willinger - came together to complete this. Engle is the one with a few other decent titles to his name, including another Neeson vehicle, but this is very much “paint by numbers” around the star, and Collet-Sera directs it as one. There’s one genuinely tense moment, involving Neeson being stuck under the train at one point, but everything else plays out in a way that people will find completely unsurprising. Which may make it a comfortable viewing choice, as it was for me. 

The supporting cast is where you get some treats to make this worth your time. As well as Farmiga, there’s a supporting role for her long-time onscreen hubby (Ed Warren), Patrick Wilson. Sam Neill has a very small role, and he is always welcome. Jonathan Banks is as good as ever, as are both Andy Nyman and Florence Pugh. Clara Lago, Ella-Rae Smith, Roland Møller, Colin McFarlane, Kobna Holdbrook-Smith, and Adam Nagaitis all do well enough, playing a variety of characters put in peril by the wild scheme that has Neeson at the heart of it.

Absolutely inessential, absolutely forgettable, and absolutely ridiculous, this is also a film that is absolutely easy to choose to watch when you are searching for something that won’t challenge you or cause you to overthink anything. You could even watch it during your own commute, if you have the time. 

4/10

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Jungle Cruise (2021)

Look, not every film based on a Disney attraction is going to work. Just see The Haunted Mansion (or don't . . . I didn't hate that film and even I just rated it a 4/10). But the fact that it can work as well as it did with Pirates Of The Caribbean is probably good enough reason for film-makers to see what else they could adapt into a fun movie/franchise. And Jungle Cruise is definitely more in line with the latter than the former. It also has a very similar vibe to Fraser/Weisz The Mummy movies (no bad thing). And benefits from the absolute maelstrom of charisma that is Dwayne Johnson.

Emily Blunt plays Lily Houghton, a daring young woman who is determined to find a fabled tree that has leaves said to be able to cure illnesses. Having upset the proper establishment that doesn't believe in such things, and certainly won't accept such ideas coming from A WOMAN (this is the early 1900s, after all), Lily steals an arrowhead that may help her locate the tree, rushing off on an adventure with her brother, MacGregor (Jack Whitehall). The two get to South America, where they end up hiring a boat captained by Frank Wolff (Johnson). Danger lurks under every ripple of the river water, especially when they are being pursued by an obsessed and amoral German, Prince Joachim (Jesse Plemons), who also wants to find the tree. Oh, there are also some undead conquistadors (led by Aguirre, played by Édgar Ramirez) who want a chance to lift the curse placed upon them.

Jungle Cruise works as well as it does thanks to the wonderful interplay between Johnson, Blunt, and Whitehall. All three get a chance to show their comedic chops, and all three get to have at least one moment in which they show the real strength of their characters. Johnson gets to reel off a number of amusingly bad puns (the kind I always enjoy), and he's also a bit of a con artist, while Blunt has an impressively pro-active and savvy approach to her quest, even if she is given extra assistance from Johnson on a couple of occasions. There has been some praise for the fact that Whitehall's character is a young gay man in a Disney movie, but the House Of Mouse yet again make the minimum effort to show that they nowadays realise what a wonderful variety of human beings are out in the world. 

The screenplay throws together Michael Green (who has worked on films such as Logan, Green Lantern, and Murder On The Orient Express) and Glenn Ficarra and John Requa (responsible for writing Cats & Dogs and, ummmm, Bad Santa). That mix ends up yielding a surprisingly cohesive result, with all three men obviously doing their best to please their Disney bosses, helped in developing the theme park ride into a movie idea by John Norville. There are a lot of little details that will please those who have been on the Jungle Cruise ride, the plotting is predictable in a way that doesn't make the adventure any less fun, and it's all just a perfectly-crafted, unabashed, blockbuster to enjoy on the big screen. 

Director Jaume Collet-Serra is generally known for the films that he has directed in the horror and thriller genres (including House Of Wax, Orphan, and The Shallows), but he feels like a great choice to be helming this material, balancing the fun factor with the dark fantasy elements, particularly when the undead conquistadors take the centre stage. It may remain more of a Disney film than a Collet-Serra film, but that is what tends to happen with every Disney movie.

Aside from Johnson, Blunt, and Whitehall, there's a lot of fun to be had with the over-the-top villainy of Plemons, who seems to be having a ball, the nature-harnessing conquistadors, and Paul Giamatti, playing a character who is owed a debt by Frank Wolff that could lead to him taking ownership of Wolff's boat.

The runtime, just over two hours, fairly flies by, there's a decent musical score from James Newton Howard, and the only thing that drags this down is the feeling of "been there, done that" that permeates many of the major story beats. I'd recommend this as superior family entertainment, easily, but I'd also like to think that it doesn't need any sequels or spin-offs that I assume are already being planned.

8/10

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Non-Stop (2014)

Stop me if you've heard this one before. Liam Neeson is a badass. He's a potential hero, but also very troubled. There's a plane full of people, with one of them being a nasty criminal type trying to grab a LOT of money. And he/she is not only trying to commit a major crime, he's also hoping to frame our hero for the job.

Yes, Non-Stop is a . . . . . non-stop selection of cliches and familiar action thriller movie moments. Which doesn't make it any less fun. A large part of the enjoyability is down to Neeson, who has been taking on this kind of role so often in recent years that he may well end up in The Expendables 10, whenever that comes along.

Things don't start off too well though. If you're not rolling your eyes when you watch Neeson use a toothbrush to stir his breakfast whiskey then you'll have a second chance to do so when he passes by a roster of usual suspects on his way to boarding his flight. There's also Julianne Moore, playing someone desperate to sit in a window seat. Everything is easily forgiven, however, as soon as Neeson gets some text messages telling him that he needs to get $150M in to a specific account or someone is going to die in 20 minutes. That starts a race against the clock, with Neeson growing increasingly desperate, and perhaps out of control, as he determines to catch his quarry.

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra (the man responsible for a couple of fun horror movies in the past decade or so - namely Orphan and House Of Wax), and written by Christopher Roach, John W. Richardson and Ryan Engle, Non-Stop is a film that probably shouldn't work. The fact that it does, and does so well, is testament to the zippy script and the fact that Collet-Serra directs with no small amount of style and inventiveness.

Neeson is as Neeson as ever. He's a brand by this point, but a bloody good one. If you're going to invest in a Nesson then treat yourself to the original and best. Acccept no substitute. Moore does well with a role that could have easily been completely thankless, and both Michelle Dockery and Lupita Nyong'o do well as two air stewardesses. The former has more to do, but it's nice to just see Nyong'o in a situation not half as harrowing as her most famous role to date. Scoot McNairy, Nate Parker, Corey Stoll, Omar Metwally and Quinn McColgan do a decent job with their roles, despite often being asked to act nervy, or aggressive, or whatever suits the mood of the crowd as they react to Neeson's actions.

This is not a film that will blow your mind, or change the face of cinema. It doesn't have to. Few films do. This simply takes some pleasing ingredients and throws them together to make something that stands up as a piece of superior blockbuster entertainment. Translation = it's not that hard to build a decent movie around Liam Neeson kicking ass.

7/10

http://www.amazon.com/Non-Stop-Blu-ray-DVD-DIGITAL-UltraViolet/dp/B00HLTD49C/ref=sr_1_1_twi_2_twi_2?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1419274222&sr=1-1&keywords=non-stop

Orphan (2009)

Vera Farmiga and Peter Sarsgaard play Kate and John Coleman, a couple very much in love with each other and with their children (Daniel, played by Jimmy Bennett, and hearing-impaired Max, played by young Aryana Engineer) and who have, to put it lightly, been through a really bad time of things. One problem birth that went horribly wrong, the accident that cost young Max her hearing, Kate's drinking problem. Hopefully, that's all now in the past as the couple realise just how much they have and decide to share their lives with someone less fortunate than most by adopting young, eccentric Esther (Isabelle Fuhrman, who is quite superb). It's not long until friction is caused, however, and it seems that Esther may have some hidden agenda despite her youthfulness but will anyone else see her manipulative ways except Kate, who keeps running into a barrier of disbelief thanks to the mistakes of her past.

Dark Castle, as those who have read some of my other reviews may know, have almost always provided me with the kind of fun horror I can easily enjoy even if it's unlikely to top anyone's "favourite movie" list. They do it once again here with a movie that builds tension nicely, throws in some genuinely uncomfortable moments and provides a great mix of uneasiness and more obvious shocks that should keep most modern movie audiences pleased.

The acting is all top notch with Farmiga and Sarsgaard anchoring the whole thing with performances that feel very real and naturalistic and, most importantly, believable amidst a plot that starts to pile up the number of unusual events and "coincidences" it needs to build up to the revelatory finale. The child stars also do very well and Isabelle Fuhrman does not get extra praise simply for landing the juicier role, she's really great in every scene she's in and able to run through a whole gamut of characteristics whether they be faked for the benefit of an audience or genuinely peeking out from behind the mask of her character.

Another string to Orphan's bow is how it mixes the slightly absurd with the very real, affecting horror of things such as the potential loss of loved ones, the acceptance of someone new into the family unit and the guilt that parents can live with for many years while keeping things hidden from everyone around them. Jealousy is a major force in this movie and children vying for attention from their parents can be selfish, manipulative and ruthless in many ways . . . . . . so Orphan just manages to take that to an extreme and let things unfold with horrific consequences.

Impressively handled by director Jaume Collet-Serra, it's rare to see a mainstream horror movie handling such disturbing themes (and, despite the glossy coating, there are certainly a few disturbing themes throughout) and all involved should be given a tip of the hat for getting right behind the material and giving us something that ends up being familiar. But oh so different.

7/10.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Orphan-Blu-ray-Vera-Farmiga/dp/B002KAIVL8/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1372662105&sr=8-2&keywords=orphan