Fantasy Island (2020)

Do you think it would be fun if someone decided to make a movie version of The Love Boat, but then decided to take the basic premise and twist it into a slasher movie? I am guessing probably not, at least not if you are familiar with the show, and have a fondness for it. The same goes for Hotel, although that was much more of a soap opera. But the same might go for Fantasy Island, a film based on a brand name that will satisfy neither fans of the TV show nor younger viewers who won't know what they're letting themselves in for.

The plot starts off simply enough, after a prologue scene showing someone being terrorised. A bunch of people arrive at Fantasy Island, where they hope that their fantasies will come true. There's Gwen (Maggie Q), a woman who thinks that her fantasy will allow her to make up for a past mistake, Melanie (Lucy Hale), a woman who wants revenge on a school bully (Sloane, played by Porita Doubleday), Patrick (Austin Stowell), who wants to play soldier, and brothers Brax (Jimmy O. Yang) and J. D. (Ryan Hansen), who just want to party hard. Michael Peña is Mr. Roarke, the head of the island, and the one ensuring that people stay the course as their fantasies play out, even if they turn into something unexpected.

Re-uniting some of the people who gave us the much more enjoyable Truth Or Dare (director Jeff Wadlow, who also helped to write the screenplay with Jillian Jacobs and Christopher Roach again, and Hale in a central role), Fantasy Island is just about the most ridiculous and pointless mainstream thriller/horror I can think of in recent years. I guess there's a vein of black comedy running through it, which may help viewers who respond to it more, but it certainly wasn't enough to help me find everything more bearable.

The cast are an admirably diverse selection, I guess, but the one thing they have in common is a level of blandness that doesn't help lift the weak material. Maggie Q ends up becoming the foremost character, working things out ahead of others and trying to change the situation for the better, but that doesn't make her any more interesting. Hale is good though, and she's someone I tend to enjoy in the main roles I have seen her in, and Yang and Hansen work well together, bringing more of the fun moments in the first half of the film. Stowell is saddled with an annoying strand that shows him desperate to have a moment of heroism, and Peña speaks in platitudes while smiling enigmatically. Thankfully, Doubleday is another person I just tend to automatically enjoy onscreen, and there are supporting roles for the always-welcome Michael Rooker and Kim Coates.

It just goes to show you that you can pretty much do anything you like with a well-known brand name and nobody will question you if they think enough teens will go to see it. This makes all the wrong choices, from the lack of characters you want to root for to the downright stupid final act, but thinks all will be forgiven when it moves along slickly enough while occasionally winking at those who remember the TV show. All is not forgiven. And my fantasy has now changed from me being locked in a room with Scarlett Johansson and twelve jars of strawberry jam to simply never having to endure a sequel to this.

3/10

https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews

Truth Or Dare (2018)

You all know how the game of Truth Or Dare works. People take turns. You either have to tell the truth or perform a dare. The truths normally stem from embarrassing questions about who you have a crush on or what you've done in your sex life, the dares can range from attempts at limbo to making out with strangers to, well, whatever your crowd thinks is going to test your mettle.

Truth Or Dare works pretty much the same way in movie form, except it's anyone around you who can tell you when it is your turn, the truths exposed can be much more damaging, and most of the dares are deadly.

That's really all you need to know about this glossy horror film aimed squarely at the teen market (there's a bland and attractive cast, a lack of any real gore or bloodshed, and a repeated special effect that, as so many others have already pointed out, simply looks like a quirky photo messenger filter). It's not bad - says the man who remains, at times, one of the most easily pleased viewers you could hope for - but it doesn't do enough to keep most horror fans happy, aside from those who may be very new to the delights of the genre.

There's nothing inherently wrong with Lucy Hale (who plays the nominal lead character), Tyler Posey, Violette Beane, Hayden Szeto, or any of the other young cast members. They're just far too easy to forget as soon as the end credits roll. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that it took me a good 15-20 minutes to start identifying most of the individuals separately, instead treating them as one mass of potential victims without any personality until one or two had been pushed off the mortal coil.

There's also nothing majorly wrong with the direction from Jeff Wadlow. He doesn't ever present things with any style or panache, but he shows a basic level of competence, making the film a relatively painless experience (in good and bad ways), helped along by the pacing.

The biggest problem here is the script, and the essentially juvenile nature of the central premise. There have, of course, been other movies based on childish games, but there are some games that are often carried through to adulthood (even if we should know better) or that we can look back on with fond memories of the time when we could be more innocent/idiotic/delete as applicable. Truth Or Dare just isn't one of those games, and I'd be very interested to hear back from anyone who thinks otherwise. It's a game expressly designed, it would seem, to drag people out of their shells, and maybe even get them some heavy petting. Turning it into a tame teen horror means that you end up with something that just isn't all that much fun. Writers Michael Reisz, Jillian Jacobs, Christopher Roach, and Wadlow let down both the cast and the viewers, eyeing up the biggest possible audience demographic without doing enough to truly please anyone in it.

Lots of people will sneer at this, and some will absolutely hate it, but it's far from the worst example out there of the kind of horror that doesn't show off the genre at its best but does make enough money at the box office to potentially fund three or four other genre movies, and one of those may even appeal to more than just teens.

5/10

Pick up the shiny disc here.
Americans can buy it here.