Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die (2026)

There's no way that this should have been as bad as it was, considering the talent involved. I have enjoyed a couple of other recent movies from writer Matthew Robinson, and I've also been a fan of Gore Verbinski. A cast that includes Sam Rockwell, Juno Temple, and Zazie Beetz? Sign me up. Alas, this is a half-developed decent idea in search of a much better movie.

Rockwell plays a man who bursts into a diner, reveals that he's wired up to explode, and claims to be from the future. Everything has gone horribly wrong in the future, but Rockwell just needs to find the right group of people to help him save them all from a powerful AI overlord. That group of people ends up including Susan (Temple), Ingrid (Haley Lu Richardson), Mark (Peña), Janet (Beetz), Scott (Asim Chaudhry), Marie (Georgia Goodman), and Bob (Daniel Barnett). Each one of these individuals has something to make them an essential part of the plan, hopefully.

There are so many interesting ways this could have gone. You have potential timeloops, you have evil tech that might be able to tap into unlimited power, and you have Sam bloody Rockwell in a starring role. Unfortunately, the only one of those three things to work here is Rockwell, who gives another performance so enjoyable that I wish he would get more star vehicles worthy of his considerable talent.

Robinson does very little with the screenplay, apparently ensuring that the whole thing can be made with a reasonably low budget. I understand his thinking there, especially when the premise is so bonkers that you know it's not going to be breaking any box office records, but limited resources is no excuse for limiting creativity. Just look at any great sci-fi or horror movie made by people who often had a lot less to work with.

Verbinski doesn't seem to know what to do. It's been a while since he's had to show some self-restraint, perhaps he's forgotten how to do it. Perhaps he was never able to do it in the first place. There are certainly some moments in the second half of the film that show him making some horrible decisions that highlight failings in the screenplay. Robinson may have handed in a weak framework, but Verbinski moves it all around and ensures that it will collapse under the weight of his directorial additions.

Aside from Rockwell's winning turn at the centre of the madness, Temple, Richardson, Peña, and Beetz all do very well with what they're given, as do Chaudhry, Goodman, and Barnett, although they are given a bit less. Tom Taylor is also good, and given the chance to show a fair bit of range with the events that befall his character, while many others fill out the supporting cast without being given any chance to make a strong impression amidst numerous scenes that are often too busy and chaotic.

The 134-minute runtime is overlong, especially with a final sequence that proves to be so unsatisfying, and I struggle to think of anything to recommend here, the cast notwithstanding. I guess the title applies just as much to viewers as it does to the film, but it's only the last two words that I suspect most people will be able to follow as instructions.

3/10

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A Working Man (2025)

Considering the success that came from director David Ayer helming The Beekeeper last year, it was no surprise to hear about him working once again with Jason Statham in a vehicle that seemed tailor-made for his particular skillset. I was keen to see this as soon as I heard about it, and a standard trailer that basically showed me getting more of the Statham antics that had complemented his apiary time last year didn't do anything to dampen my enthusiasm.

Statham plays Levon Cade, a working man (ahem) with a military background that he's trying to leave in his past. He remains a formidable force though, and is asked to do what the police can't when his employers fear for the life of their daughter (Jenny, played by Arianna Rivas). Jenny has been snatched by human traffickers, caught up in a criminal web overseen by numerous Russian gangsters. Most people would be intimidated by such villains. Not Statham though. He'll tear through those baddies as if they were wet toilet paper.

I don't know why I bothered to write out that description because it doesn't really matter. This is a Jason Statham movie in which Jason Statham encounters a number of escalating problems that he can always manage to sort out with violence. It's very similar to many other Jason Statham movies, and that's not a bad thing for those who enjoy watching him do his stuff. The editing is a bit overdone at times, and the lighting doesn't always help, but it's very much in line with a lot of other action fare.

Based on a book, "Levon's Trade", by Chuck Dixon, this particular slice of kick-ass retribution is co-written by Ayer and Sylvester Stallone. Stallone has written for Statham previously (Homefront, based on a book by Chuck Logan, so maybe he just likes to adapt books written by people named Chuck), but this feels very much like a film that he would write with himself in mind for the lead role. There's more of an even balance between the fists flying and the gunfire, there's a sequence in which our hero speeds over some uneven terrain on a chunky motorbike, and the final confrontation feels as if it could easily have upped the numbers to allow for one or two Expendable-adjacent cameos adding even more firepower.

Statham remains an excellent lead, and he remains convincing enough when it comes to the action. This isn't going to convert anyone, but it should easily please those who know what they're letting themselves in for. Rivas is suitably likable and plucky in her role, although she's obviously sidelined for most of the runtime, and David Harbour has a bit of fun in his supporting role (playing a blind veteran friend who is ready to help our hero stock up on guns when it's needed). There are few highlights elsewhere though, with none of the many villains, minor or major, given enough truly great moments. Emmett J Scanlan, Eve Mauro, Maximilian Osinski, and Merab Ninidze fail to make the strong impression that they should. Jason Flemyng does better, but isn't around for long, and Chidi Ajufo seems set to engage in a grand confrontation that sadly never materialises, and they are the highlights. Isla Gie is okay as the the young daughter of our hero, allowing us to remember that he's a loving father who wants to get home in one piece, and many others jostle onscreen to be pushed to safety or punched in the face by The Stath.

Here's the main thing about A Working Man though. It's just not as good as many other Statham films, and it's definitely not as much fun as The Beekeeper. All we need is a nice and simple journey that has Statham moving up a ladder of criminals until he reaches the head honcho, but what A Working Man does is try to add a variety of extra steps that ultimately lessen the enjoyment and slow down any momentum. The finale doesn't even feel as satisfying as it should due to the network of higher-ups that seem positioned to cause problems in an inevitable sequel. Ayer can handle this kind of material, as he proved last year, but the script causes problems here. A weak script doesn't always matter for a decent action movie, just as it doesn't matter when it comes to certain horror movies, but you need enough bone-crunching action to distract from it. This doesn't quite get the balance right, which is a shame, although there are enough moments here and there to please fans of Statham doing Statham stuff.

6/10

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Moonfall (2022)

Despite strong competition from a couple of other blockbusters from the past decade or so, including at least one other film also from director Roland Emmerich, Moonfall is the dumbest mainstream release you will see this year, and perhaps even the dumbest mainstream movie you will ever see. It is so dumb that it at least makes it easier to forget about following the plot and just concentrate on the spectacle of the whole thing. In fact, I think it might be dangerous to try keeping your brain fully switched on while watching this.

Basically, in the way of almost all Emmerich movies, something happens at the start that teases the mass devastation due to come along later in the movie. The very basic premise is, as the title tells you, the moon changing orbit. Earth has about three weeks to figure out a solution. The only hope for humanity lies with Jocinda Fowler (a top bod at NASA, played by Halle Berry), Brian Harper (a disgraced ex-astronaut, played by Patrick Wilson), and KC Houseman (an amateur . . . skywatcher, a label I will use to avoid spoilers, played by John Bradley). Meanwhile, tsunamis start destroying major cities, gravity is changing, and people seem remarkably unconcerned about the threat of super-werewolves.

Co-written by Emmerich, Harald Kloser, and Spenser Cohen, here is a film that almost gets things so right, but ultimately ruins the third act with an overdose of CGI madness that makes it genuinely hard to see, or even know, what is going on. The fun ideas set up in the opening act become less fun as things met become more relentless. And there are only so many times you can look at a supermoon in the sky before it becomes worthy of little more than a shrug (once, one time is all you need).

Emmerich can direct this kind of stuff in his sleep, but he seems to get very easily distracted by the toys at his disposal. He is a man who doesn’t believe in “less is more”. More is more, and more on top of that, and even more. It’s tiring, especially by the time you get to a final act that manages to be overlong and surprisingly unsatisfying.

The cast do what is asked of them, and their performances are in line with the material. Berry comes out of it best, having to be the level-headed lead of the mission, and Wilson tries hard, despite being weighed down by the many clichés that he’s given (washed up, no money, a beer in the morning, a son he hasn’t always been as close to). Bradley is a mixture of comic relief and Mr. Exposition, he does well enough in his role, but his character is an odd one to turn into a hero, for obvious reasons. Charlie Plummer plays the son of Wilson’s character, Michael Peña is the stepfather you suspect may end up moonstruck to pave the way for a reconnection between Wilson and Carolina Bartczak (as his ex-wife), and Wenwen Yu is absolutely wasted in a role that feels horribly undefined.

If you need something that will provide spectacle without taxing your brain then this might just fit the bill. Personally, I would recommend (re)watching past glories, pick from either the fantastic The Day After Tomorrow or the silliness of 2012. Pick Independence Day (not exactly the same kind of movie, but the template is similar enough). This isn’t as good as any of those. But it still isn’t as bad as Geostorm.

5/10

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Tom & Jerry (2021)

Things didn't bode well for this film. The trailer was bad. Nobody seemed to want it. And I have horrible memories of the last time people tried to make Tom & Jerry more appealing to modern audiences. The characters were talking. Their antics were sanitised. It was a bad period in the history of arguably the most iconic cartoon duo of all time.

But I sat down to watch this anyway, spurred on by a positive review from a friend of mine. And it wasn't really that bad.

Jerry has decided to make his new home in the Royal Gate Hotel, which is set to be the venue for the grand wedding of the year. Chloë Grace Moretz is Kayla, a new employee at the hotel, and is tasked with getting rid of the mouse. That leads to her hiring Tom as a solution to the problem. Things don't go to plan, of course, and it looks like the big wedding could also be jeopardised by the cat and mouse carnage.

Directed by Tim Story, and written by Kevin Costello, Tom & Jerry is a fun mix of animation and live-action delivered by people who at least seem to understand the enduring appeal of the featured cartoons. A number of other animals are also presented in animated form, and the style and behaviour of the animals is nicely in line with our "heroes". Everything is a bit silly and over the top, but it's all set up quite well by the script, and Story directs it all well, zipping along from one highlight to the next, occasionally taking a moment just to focus on some animated one-upmanship. It's also nice to see a journey for Tom & Jerry plotted out that seems to make sense, changing their dynamic while somehow not making them feel unfamiliar to long-time fans.

Moretz may be the lead, and is the one doing the most acting alongside the animation, but she's heading up a decent cast, with everyone pitching their performances perfectly between standard family film levels of behaviour and animated exaggeration. Michael Peña is fun as Terence, a hotel employee who senses something strange is going on, Rob Delaney is the hotel manager, Patsy Ferran is a wonderfully odd Bell Girl, and Pallavi Sharda and Colin Jost play Preeta and Ben, the couple who are due to be married. Tom and Jerry name the movie, however, and they're given many moments to show that they're the stars. As it should be.

Although not on par with the classic cartoons, nor on par with many other fun family movies (live-action, animated, or using a mixture of elements), Tom & Jerry is an entertaining film that gets more right than it gets wrong. Slapstick violence, ridiculous schemes, and a friendship forged from constant battling, it's certainly good enough for any fans who can tolerate seeing them in a modern setting.

6/10

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Prime Time: The Vatican Tapes (2015)

Here's a strange thing. When I stumbled across The Vatican Tapes I made a couple of assumptions. I knew it was directed by Mark Neveldine, so I thought there may be some hyperactive insanity. And, considering the title and the tagline, I thought it was a found footage horror movie. Neither of those things were applicable, and yet I spent a lot of the runtime wishing that they were.

Olivia Taylor Dudley plays Angela, a young woman who takes a turn for the worse. It's obvious from the start that she's going to be causing a lot of trouble, to put it mildly, as some demonic entity uses her body to enter our world. This is upsetting for Angela's boyfriend, Pete (John Patrick Amedori), and her father, Roger (Dougray Scott). Maybe they don't need to be too worried though, especially with Cardinal Mattias Bruun (Peter Andersson) and Father Loranzo (Michael Peña) on the case.

It's hard to fully convey just how shockingly redundant The Vatican Tapes is, a horror movie so mediocre that you wish for it to change format at some point. To do something, anything, that will make it seem like something worth your time. It does nothing well. You get the body contortions, you get the different language(s) being spoken, you get the new-found strength and powers. It's a very dull game of "possession movie bingo".

Although it would be easy to blame writers Christopher Borrelli and Michael C. Martin (developing the story from Borrelli and Chris Morgan), the framework that they create for the film is covered in a wet blanket that is the direction from Neveldine. I'd rather have seen some headache-inducing hyperactive craziness than the stream of visually dull nothingness that ends up being passed off as a slick horror movie. 

You'd think some of the casting might help. It doesn't. Any time that Scott or Peña appear onscreen leads to a slightly more enjoyable time, thanks to their presence, but they can't do enough to make up for the weak performances from Dudley and Amedori. Andersson is also a deficit, a pale imitation of so many other old wise men we've seen in these kind of films. Kathleen Robertson does okay as Dr. Richards, a psychiatrist who ends up receiving some acerbic honesty from Angela, and Djimon Hounsou deserves more than the few minutes of screentime that he gets. That's all I can say about the central cast.

This takes no risks, provides no surprises, and delivers no scares. It's very difficult to think of why this was made, and who it is intended for. I definitely won't ever recommend it to anyone, and I hope it fades from my memory as quickly as possible.

2/10

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Fantasy Island (2020)

Do you think it would be fun if someone decided to make a movie version of The Love Boat, but then decided to take the basic premise and twist it into a slasher movie? I am guessing probably not, at least not if you are familiar with the show, and have a fondness for it. The same goes for Hotel, although that was much more of a soap opera. But the same might go for Fantasy Island, a film based on a brand name that will satisfy neither fans of the TV show nor younger viewers who won't know what they're letting themselves in for.

The plot starts off simply enough, after a prologue scene showing someone being terrorised. A bunch of people arrive at Fantasy Island, where they hope that their fantasies will come true. There's Gwen (Maggie Q), a woman who thinks that her fantasy will allow her to make up for a past mistake, Melanie (Lucy Hale), a woman who wants revenge on a school bully (Sloane, played by Porita Doubleday), Patrick (Austin Stowell), who wants to play soldier, and brothers Brax (Jimmy O. Yang) and J. D. (Ryan Hansen), who just want to party hard. Michael Peña is Mr. Roarke, the head of the island, and the one ensuring that people stay the course as their fantasies play out, even if they turn into something unexpected.

Re-uniting some of the people who gave us the much more enjoyable Truth Or Dare (director Jeff Wadlow, who also helped to write the screenplay with Jillian Jacobs and Christopher Roach again, and Hale in a central role), Fantasy Island is just about the most ridiculous and pointless mainstream thriller/horror I can think of in recent years. I guess there's a vein of black comedy running through it, which may help viewers who respond to it more, but it certainly wasn't enough to help me find everything more bearable.

The cast are an admirably diverse selection, I guess, but the one thing they have in common is a level of blandness that doesn't help lift the weak material. Maggie Q ends up becoming the foremost character, working things out ahead of others and trying to change the situation for the better, but that doesn't make her any more interesting. Hale is good though, and she's someone I tend to enjoy in the main roles I have seen her in, and Yang and Hansen work well together, bringing more of the fun moments in the first half of the film. Stowell is saddled with an annoying strand that shows him desperate to have a moment of heroism, and Peña speaks in platitudes while smiling enigmatically. Thankfully, Doubleday is another person I just tend to automatically enjoy onscreen, and there are supporting roles for the always-welcome Michael Rooker and Kim Coates.

It just goes to show you that you can pretty much do anything you like with a well-known brand name and nobody will question you if they think enough teens will go to see it. This makes all the wrong choices, from the lack of characters you want to root for to the downright stupid final act, but thinks all will be forgiven when it moves along slickly enough while occasionally winking at those who remember the TV show. All is not forgiven. And my fantasy has now changed from me being locked in a room with Scarlett Johansson and twelve jars of strawberry jam to simply never having to endure a sequel to this.

3/10

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