Jeepers Creepers 3 (2017)

First thing's first, this is a review of a movie. Nothing more, nothing less. The rest of the conversation attached to this film, and director Victor Salva, is a whole different kettle of fish.

With that out of the way, Jeepers Creepers 3 is, as if you couldn't guess, the third instalment in the popular Jeepers Creepers series. I enjoyed the first film a lot. And the second. But this third film seemed to be in pre-production for a long time. I wasn't even sure if it was going to be made. Then I wasn't sure if the end result would be worth my time. It was, and it was.

The Creeper is back to doing what he does, killing people and taking body parts from them. That's really all there is to this film. He has two cops on his tail, he has a whole new bag of tricks on display (the van has been pimped out in a way that some hate, but I really liked), and he's not as worried as before about being spotted by people. In fact, this character seems to nonchalantly walk around whenever and wherever he likes, confident in his ability to kill without any fatal revenge coming his way.

Written and directed by Victor Salva, this is a fun film for fans of the main creature. The pacing is perfect, the new details are, whether you like or dislike them, appreciated as an attempt to add to the mythos, rather than just keep rehashing the same moments from the previous two movies, and the murderous set-pieces are enjoyable enough.

The problems stem from the budget, which seems obviously reduced from the first two movies. Either Salva didn't have enough to make sure things looked consistent with his vision on the screen, or he was unable to stretch the dollars and make some tough decisions in a way that was beneficial to the film.

There's also a cast that doesn't really feature anyone interesting enough to have you caring about the humans potentially about to be preyed on by the Creeper. Meg Foster is good, playing a woman having psychic visions of a dead son who tries to advise her on how to defeat the creature, and Stan Shaw and Brandon Smith do well as the two men determined to hunt him down and put an end to his killing spree. Jonathan Breck does well once again as the Creeper, but Gabrielle Haugh, Chester Rushing, Jordan Salloum (playing the aforementioned dead son), and the other young actors fail to make much of an impression. They're not awful. They're just stuck with bad writing that leaves their characters paper-thin.

If you enjoyed the first two movies then you should find enough here to like. But it's not guaranteed. This takes a slightly different direction, and a more light-hearted and even more fantastical approach to the material. Some will not appreciate that at all. I thought it was fun, albeit never really great.

6/10

Jeepers Creepers 3 is available to buy here.
And Americans can buy it here.

The Lords Of Salem (2012)

Damn you, Rob Zombie, damn you. It's okay to make mistakes, it's okay to fall while stretching beyond your normal reach, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating when the end result is such a mess. I always think that a discussion of any Rob Zombie movie somehow requires an opening statement making clear exactly where I stand on the filmography of the man. I loved House Of 1000 Corpses and I loved The Devil's Rejects, and then it started to slip and slide downhill. I actually enjoyed the Halloween remake and I thought The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto was as hilarious as it was juvenile. It all started to go wrong with Halloween II (which I still gave a respectable 6/10). The Lords Of Salem is, without a doubt, his worst movie. The fact that it's so unoriginal isn't a problem. The other movies that he's done have all allowed Zombie to wear his influences on his sleeve. It's the fact that is so unoriginal without his own twist on the material, the fact that it's so visually inept and ugly and the fact that it's just inexcusably dull from start to finish. Zombie shows no progression whatsoever as an artist, and has actually gone backwards since his fantastic debut feature.

The story is all about a radio DJ named Heidi (Sheri Moon Zombie) who receives a record from a mystery band, simply calling themselves "the lords". When she plays the record she starts to feel funny, eventually experiencing strange visions that may be flashbacks to more violent time in Salem's dark history. Her colleagues (played by Jeff Daniel Phillips and Ken Foree) don't really notice anything unusual initially, but as things get worse they start to worry that Heidi has gone back to a drug habit after a long period of being clean. The one person who starts to piece things together is Francis Matthias (Bruce Davison), a bit of an expert in the local history. Unfortunately, Heidi is soon being "looked after" by three women (Judy Geeson, Dee Wallace and Patricia Quinn) and she seems to be heading towards some big trouble.

There are some individual, good moments in The Lords Of Salem. It's not an irredeemable disaster, and it's not something that I'll refuse to ever rewatch, but those overlooking the many major flaws to praise it as Rob Zombie's homage to Euro-horrors are setting a lot of future newcomers up for a big fall. Zombie himself described it (in this clip) "as if Ken Russell directed The Shining" and mentions Polanski as another influence. He's not actually far off the mark, but none of those filmmakers would have a transition quite as clumsy as the sequence that introduces Heidi's place of work and colleagues and treats the audience like hyperactive children. Frustratingly, he shows in some other shots that he can do much better. Some moments do have a nice, controlled approach to both the shot composition and camera movement, but it's usually not long until he slips back into his old habits.

A lot of detractors of the film, or Zombie in general, have been quick to criticise Sheri Moon Zombie in the lead role. She's not that bad. Indeed, none of the actors (many of whom are firm favourites among horror fans, surprise surprise) do a bad job. Geeson, Wallace and Quinn, in particular, provide the most fun and seem to attack their roles with relish. Meg Foster also appears in a small, but vital, role and Sid Haig and Michael Berryman put in cameo appearances.

The soundtrack is pretty good, with one or two standout tracks, and the quality of the sound design serves as a reminder that this is a film from a man who knows what he's doing by now (in terms of the basic technical aspects, at least).

I enjoyed a few scenes, I was impressed by one or two creepy moments and in the first half hour of the film I was hoping that it would improve and build to something truly memorable. That didn't happen. The fact that it all came so completely undone didn't make me angry, it just left me disappointed. Other people already gave up on Rob Zombie a few years ago, but I keep giving him one more chance. I know that he's capable of some great stuff. The Lords Of Salem sees him trying hard to refute that.

4/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lords-Salem-Sheri-Moon-Zombie/dp/B00BIODT0A/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370338335&sr=8-1&keywords=the+lords+of+salem

They Live (1988)

Ahhh, good ol' John Carpenter. Despite strong competition from a number of extremely talented people, he remains my favourite director of all time. I've tried to see every feature that he's ever helmed, from Dark Star to The Ward, and I've seen most of his output more than two or three times. In fact, I usually mention Halloween, The Fog or The Thing whenever I am pushed to list any kind of horror movie Top 10. The man has supplied me with an embarrassment of cinematic riches over the years and They Live is yet another.

Based on the short story, "Eight O'clock In The Morning", by Ray Nelson, They Live is a blend of sci-fi, action and horror that tells the tale of a drifter (played by Roddy Piper, the character is never named in the film, but listed as Nada in the end credits, ) who arrives in a city and just wants to get himself a job and then some money in his pocket. He ends up working on a building site with Frank (Keith David) and Frank then shows him a place where he can get a meal and rest his head at night. Times are hard for a lot of people so the kindness is much appreciated. While things start to look up for our lead character it's not long until a complication arises in the form of a pair of sunglasses. Not just any sunglasses. These sunglasses are made from a special material that allows anyone wearing them to see the awful truth. Humans are being kept docile and compliant by an alien race. They use subliminal messages to keep people in their place and the only way to get things back to normal is to find out where the main signal originates from and destroy the source. Thankfully for the human race, our hero is willing to give it a go, but not without some help from a woman named Holly (Meg Foster) and, of course, Frank.

As well as directing and adapting the story for the screen, John Carpenter also supplies another cracking synth score (this time with the help of Alan Howarth) and once again shows how to make the most of every dollar of a film budget. I'm not saying that the movie looks like a blockbuster, or that it's even perfect, but the visuals do a fine job of showing what needs to be shown and giving a sense of the all-encompassing nature of the alien infiltration, thanks to some canny work from the art department and special effects team.

Ex-wrestler 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper does a solid job in the main role. He's not going to get any Shakespearean roles, but he's able to convincingly chew bubblegum and/or kick ass. Keith David is always great and in this movie . . . . . . he's great. Meg Foster has one of the more thankless roles, but she makes quite an impression and holds her own in amongst all the testosterone. Speaking of testosterone, this is the film that has a brawl between Piper and David that seems to go on for half the movie. It starts off as good fun, then gets boring, then gets into thorough overkill territory and then keeps going for so much longer that it becomes good fun again.

As relevant today as it was back in the late '80s, They Live is a film that will always resonate with those who despair at the ever-increasing gap between the poorest sections of society and the richest. The fact that it has supporting turns from Peter Jason, George 'Buck' Flower and Raymond St. Jaques (who may not be as instantly recognisable as the other two, but who gives a great performance) and one of the greatest one-liners in sci-fi horror history just adds to its ability to hit the sweet spot for genre fans.

8/10

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