Netflix And Chill: Runaway Jury (2003)

Note: I watched this film yesterday on UK Netflix, ready for thos review to be written today. Yesterday was the last day that Runaway Jury was available on the service here in the UK. Such is the fickle nature of streaming services.

Like many films from the '90s and 2000s, Runaway Jury now feels like a more comforting watch today than it did when first released. It's based on a John Grisham novel, coming along as seemingly the last major attempt to wring more money out of his legal thrillers (until they inevitably come back into fashion at some point), it has a fantastic ensemble cast anchored by two star turns from a couple of acting legends, and it delivers some tension and thrills without needing to shoehorn in any major action set-pieces.

Everything revolves around a trial that sees a woman trying to win a case against a firearms company. Nobody ever wins when they take on the gun industry, but some people hold on to the hope that this case could turn the tide. The one with the most hope is attorney Wendell Rohr (Dustin Hoffman), although that becomes harder to hang onto as he battles against tactics used by jury consultant Rankin Fitch (Gene Hackman). Fitch and his team are bemused by one particular juror though, Nick Easter (John Cusack), and it soon becomes clear how important he is when they are contacted by a woman (Marlee, played by Rachel Weisz) who claims that she can deliver whatever verdict is needed for a big fee.

Adapted into screenplay form by Brian Koppelman, David Levien, Rick Cleveland, and Matthew Chapman, Runaway Jury is full of enjoyable lines of dialoge that are uttered with plenty of energy and power by leads clearly enjoying themselves in their roles. Director Gary Fleder may not put any stamp on the visual style of the film, but he does well to simply stay out of the way of his cast as they do their thing.

What can be said about Hackman that hasn't already been said many times over the years? The world of cinema was undoubtedly better while he was a part of it, and he's absolutely fantastic as the devious and relentless Fitch. Hoffman steps up his game for the scenes shared with Hackman, but he also spends a lot of the runtime focusing on his accent and trying to be almost childishly idealistic. Cusack is a lot of fun in what may well be the last film to make good use of the charm and wit that he used to have in every role, and Weisz enjoys herself in scenes that show her scheming and working hard to maintain an advantage against the powerful people she is dealing with. I won't go into detail on their characters, but the supporting cast includes the likes of Bruce Davison, Bruce McGill, Jeremy Piven, Cliff Curtis, Nick Searcy, Rhoda Griffis, Leland Orser, Nestor Serrano, Jennifer Beals, Gerry Bamman, Bill Nunn, Rusty Schwimmer, Orlando Jones, Luis Guzmán, and Dylan McDermott. If you don't recognise all of those names, trust me, you should recognise most of their faces.

Okay, it's not the best of the Grisham blockbusters (I think we all know that the "first wave" of movies adapted from his work gave us the best films), but this is a fantastic bit of entertainment. It's polished, it's intriguing, it has some obvious twists and turns that prove satisfying by the time everything is resolved, and the 127-minute runtime never drags, thanks in no small part to the feeling that you're never too far away from another great moment for Hackman, Hoffman, or Cusack. It's not one I think about too often, but it's one I am surprisingly happy to rewatch whenever the opportunity arises.

7/10

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Suitable Flesh (2023)

No Netflix and chill on the blog this week, mainly because I had the opportunity to cram some of the latest horror movies at a local cinema.

Loosely based on "The Thing On The Doorstep", a short story from H.P. Lovecraft I read many years ago now, Suitable Flesh is a horror film written by Dennis Paoli that feels very much like a new film from director Stuart Gordon, despite it actually being directed by Joe Lynch. I don't say that to unfairly compare the film to past glories. I say it as a very deliberate compliment.

The framing of the main narrative involves Heather Graham as Dr. Elizabeth Derby, a therapist who is locked up and being interviewed by a friend and colleague, Dr. Daniella Upton (Barbara Crampton). It turns out that Dr. Derby has been going a bit off the rails, to put it mildly, since her first encounter with a patient named Asa Waite (Judah Lewis). Asa kept making claims about out of body experiences, a problem that he kept linking to his father, Ephraim (Bruce Davison). Although it's easy to believe that Asa has mental health issues, it soon becomes easier for Dr. Derby to believe that there's something to his feeling of being taken over by another entity.

Made with what seems to be fairly limited resources (I would imagine that the budget went mainly on the cast and a couple of very impressive practical effects moments), Suitable Flesh won't necessarily draw people in from the opening moments. It takes a while to really settle in to what it wants to deliver, with that time laying groundwork that helps to acclimatise viewers to the wild ideas at the heart of the script. Paoli has adapated many Lovecraft tales before this one, of course, but he does some of his best work here when it comes to translating a head-scratching concept from page to screen in a way that doesn't lead to complete confusion and unintentional comedy.

Lynch does a very good job of working with everyone in a way that feels in line with the material. The emphasis here is on macabre fun, and the tone is perfect throughout, although it's just a shame that this is a film that has received comments for the amount of sexual content when it still feels rather tame compare to the films it is otherwise successfully emulating. Lynch keeps a lot of humour and transgressiveness onscreen, but there's a sense that he remains slightly restrained, trying to balance things out between the potential craziness and the ability to have the film be a marketable commodity.

Graham has a lot of fun in her lead role, going wonderfully over the top when playing the wilder incarnation of her character, I'd be tempted to even say that it is her best role in years, and Crampton is as good as she always is alongside her. Lewis moves between understandable nerviness and unnerving cool confidence, Davison makes a strong impression with his few scenes, and Johnathon Schaech is the confused husband of Graham's character, and someone who proves to be surprisingly easily seduced by some of the new ways in which his wife wants to fool around. Graham Skipper has a small role, a lot of fun as the kind of pathologist who eats his lunch over a corpse on the slab, and Hunter Womack is a likeable security guard who gets caught up in the escalating madness of a satisfying third act that pulls out all the stops.

Weird, wild, and brilliant, Suitable Flesh is a real treat for horror fans. The pairing of Lynch and Paoli is a rewarding one, I hope this isn't their only collaboration, and if they make any more vehicles for some of my favourite actresses then all the better.

8/10

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Prime Time: Get A Job (2016)

Written by Kyle Pennekamp and Scott Turpel, and directed by Dylan Kidd, Get A Job is, in many ways, exactly the standard comedy that you think it is. And yet, in other ways, it inadvertently stands out as a melting pot of attitudes and ideas that many people (myself included) want to see changing.

Miles Teller is Will Davis, a young man who thinks he has his life sorted. He has just graduated, his girlfriend (Jillian, played by Anna Kendrick) has got herself a great job, and his friends seem to be poised to fall upwards. Unfortunately, the job that he thought would be there for him, after a lot of hours put in as an unpaid intern, isn’t. Which means he has to decide between doing what he loves and doing what he has to do in order to earn a decent wage. And things get even worse for his father (Bryan Cranston), who finds himself unemployed for the first time in decades.

Work needs done. We al know that. Not every job is going to be fulfilling. But that doesn’t mean anyone should be undervalued. If anything, the “unskilled” jobs that are seen as less desirable should pay just as much as some of the more enviable, cushy, numbers that we see people striving for in movies. Get A Job doesn’t consider that though. It is too busy working with the motto of “find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” This is a fantasy film, basically, but it accidentally scatters some reality throughout it.

Here are the positives. You get a reminder of how crappy it is to have someone in an unpaid role. You get a reminder of how disposable you are to any big company (shown in the way that Cranston’s character so suddenly finds himself adrift with no idea of where he might be able to go next). You get to see someone applying themselves to fully show what they are capable of, albeit often in a way that also has them feeling a bit restricted and very bloody tired. And, arguably best of all, you get a nice mockery of that whole “I’ll make sure you never work in this town again” attitude that some employers still think can work. Having been on the receiving end of that line of bullshit myself some time ago, I can assure you that it’s very rarely a serious threat. It is the flailing claws of a wounded predator used to being at the top of the food chain, and you should never let fear of repercussions from an employer stop you from valuing yourself enough to move to a better position (for any reason, be it pay, location, working environment, etc).

The cast do well enough, although the supporting players are a very mixed bag. As the friends of our lead, Brandon T. Jackson is easily integrated into the awful world of stock market trading, Nicholas Braun is a teacher who would rather spend his time getting stoned and playing videogames, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse has a plot all about creating an app that is basically every stalker’s wet dream. These three aren’t great, but there are much better turns from Alison Brie, Bruce Davison, Jorge Garcia, Marcia Gay Harden, Greg Germann, and Iohn C. McGinley, all playing a variety of adults already established in their respective workplaces. Kendrick is completely wasted in her role, which amounts to little more than 5-10 minutes of screentime, but both Teller and Cranston are very good, with the latter having some great moments with a local barista (Cammy, played by Mimi Gianopulos) who turns out to be more supportive than any official employment advisors.

Predictable, cheesy, but also fun, I won’t ever feel the need to rewatch this, but I enjoyed it well enough while it was on. The technical side of things is competent enough, the plotting fits everything together in an amusingly snug way for the third act, and it at least serves as a reminder that you should give your loyalty and time not to a job you may feel worn down and frustrated by, but to the people you care about.

5/10

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Prime Time: Dahmer (2002)

Anyone with knowledge of serial killers will have heard of Jeffrey Dahmer, the Wisconsin killer who was eventually apprehended by the police and found guilty of murdering 17 men. That's not a spoiler. Not if you know of Dahmer. It's not even a spoiler for this movie, which instead decides to focus on a certain time during Dahmer's various murders, interspersing things with flashbacks to show Dahmer's relationship with his father.

Jeremy Renner plays the title role, a shy young man who seems to be struggling with ways to live his life the way he really wants to. He's spent years processing his own sexuality, and he usually doesn't feel at ease in the company of others. He also wants to create a living zombie. 

There's not much else to say. Jeffrey Dahmer was an evil man who did't look evil. Because serial killers often don't walk around with horns growing out of their heads and glowing red eyes. But even if you're familiar with his M.O. then there may still be one or two moments here that will make you squirm in discomfort, at the very least.

Writer-director David Jacobson knows what he wants to do with the plotting, and he does it all very well. A few shocks scattered throughout are enough to keep you remembering just how messed up Dahmer is, yet nothing feels too overdone or gratuitous. And there are times when you can see how some circuitry has blown, how Dahmer started down a path that made it easier and easier for him to shed any good intentions he may once have had. The movements between the present and the past aren't always immediately clear, but you usually get up to speed quickly enough to see how all of the pieces are fitting together, a jigsaw puzzle of a character study being put together without you having seen the picture on the box.

Renner is excellent, giving a performance that easily ranks as the best I have ever seen from him. He is, understandably, the focus of pretty much every scene, and that makes it hard to heap too much praise on the rest of the cast, who all do well enough. I'll just mention Bruce Davison, who plays Lionel Dahmer. Although Davison is always an excellent actor, it's fortuitous that the man who was the awkward and dangerous Willard portrays the father of the awkward and dangerous Jeffrey Dahmer.

Even more so than films with criminals/anti-heroes at the centre of them, films about serial killers have to walk a fine line between showing the abnormal minds that people find so fascinating without glamourising their horrific crimes. Jacobson walks that line with ease, and he's delivered a film that should work for anyone at all interested in the macabre subject matter.

8/10

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Willard (1971)

Considering how much I love the 2003 remake of Willard, it is surprising that it took me this long to get to the original film. Especially considering the fact that the cast includes Bruce Davison in the lead role, and support from Ernest Borgnine, Sondra Locke, and Elsa Lanchester.

Davison plays Willard Stiles, a young man who isn't being treated very well by those around him. His frail mother (Lanchester) makes a lot of demands on his time, his boss (Borgnine) seems to revel in the fact that he can keep him overworked in the company that used to belong to his deceased father, and his family home is in need of some repair, which would be easier to deal with if he had any decent amount of money for it. When asked by his mother to deal with a rodent problem, Willard instead starts training them, and he's soon in charge of a multitude of rats.

Director Daniel Mann may not have a lot of other horror movies in his filmography, although it's an eclectic selection, but he's certainly given fans a bit of a minor classic with this one. Based on a novel by Stephen Gilbert, this is equal parts character study and creature feature, with both serving each other well. Mann, working from a script by Gilbert A. Ralston, builds things up perfectly, using three acts to show, in turn, the mistreatment of Willard, his befriending and training of the rats, and his eventual use of them to help make his life better. The first half of the movie may be much lighter in tone than the second half, and horror fans may find themselves growing impatient for signs of actual horror, but it brilliantly sketches out the history and nature of the central character, making it all the more satisfying when we get to see him fighting back.

Davison is absolutely brilliant in what could well be his finest role. Considering his huge body of film work, it's easy to forget just how great he can be in films more deserving of his talent (I am thinking more of films like this one and Short Eyes than, say, Titanic II). Borgnine is an entertainingly loathsome baddie, which viewers will already know from some of his other performances, and he has some slimy acolytes in the shape of Michael Dante and Joan Shawlee. Lanchester does well in her small role, as frail and whiney as she has to be, Jody Gilbert is someone who tries to help Willard, but only to really also help herself, and Locke brightens up the screen as arguably the only person who sees how badly Willard is being mistreated and taken advantage of by those around him.

What could have easily just been a tale of a boy getting rats to attack his enemies is instead turned into something incredibly bittersweet and, yes, surprisingly moving. It may focus on the rats, and the damage and death they can cause, but it's equally about the need for companionship, the emotional support that can be gained just from knowing friends have your back, and how difficult it can be to move forward with your own life again once you have developed such a strong connection with others.

8/10

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Insidious: The Last Key (2018)

Look, even if you're a huge fan of Insidious (as I am), it's hard to argue against the idea that it wasn't a horror movie that felt designed to kick off a long-running series. The second film was good, although already felt at times as if it was repeating a few of the tricks that the original had done so well, and the third film, while enjoyable enough, was too far removed from the previous events to really win over fans.

So now we're at the fourth (and final?) instalment, and where does it sit in comparison to the other entries? Well, it's not bad. It's still a step removed from the first films, yet it feels closer to them than that third chapter.

Lin Shaye returns as Elise Rainier, the psychic who can battle ghosts and demonic forces most people cannot see. She's once again joined by Specs (played by writer Leigh Whannell) and Tucker (Angus Sampson), but she would much rather enjoy a quiet life than put herself through any more strain and horribly perilous "adventures". That looks unlikely, however, when she gets a call from someone (Ted, played by Kirk Acevedo) who believes that his house is haunted. It happens to be the house that Elise lived in when she was a young girl, and she knows how bad it is there. So she sets off to help Ted, perhaps looking for some closure at the same time.

The Insidious series certainly benefits from having Leigh Whannell writing each instalment. He's okay in front of the camera, but it's the writing that is clearly his forte. Like the best of these slick, modern, mainstream horrors, Insidious: The Last Key lays out plenty of details in the earlier scenes to pick them up again later, when the scares are being delivered. Learning more about Elise, how she was as a youngster when discovering her "gift", works very well, thanks to it being a character that viewers have now journeyed with for some time, and also thanks to the third act developments.

Adam Robitel is the director this time, and he does a perfectly acceptable job. This relies more on jump scares than the first couple of movies (I know they were accused by many of having no atmosphere, I disagree) but they're done very well, with one or two moments of impressively creepy imagery that may well stay in your mind long after the end credits have rolled.

As for the cast, forget about everyone else onscreen and enjoy Lin Shaye, a woman who has been in many horror movies over the years and has now been the unexpected lynchpin of this successful series. She never gives less than 100% in her portrayal of Elise, even in scenes that try to let Whannell and Sampson lighten things up a bit with some awkward comedy. Bruce Davison is also as good as ever, but is onscreen for about one or two minutes, and you get decent enough performances from Acevedo, Caitlin Gerard, Spencer Locke, Josh Stewart, and Tessa Ferrer, among others.

If you've seen the other films then you should give this one a watch. It's completely unnecessary, and could have been improved by removing a couple of the characters, but it's still solid entertainment.

6/10

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Christmas Angel (2009)

Kari Hawker plays Ashley Matthews, a young woman who doesn't seem to have too many decent prospects on her horizon while others are preparing to enjoy Christmas. But not everyone will be having a good time. In fact, some people will be doing even worse than Ashley, even if she doesn't want to think about them. It turns out that her older neighbour, Nick (Bruce Davison), does enough thinking about the less fortunate for the both of them. He's a rich man who likes to do good deeds, and he needs a helper. As Ashley processes this new information, and starts to help Nick, she also meets Will (K. C. Clyde). Will seems like a nice guy, despite the fact that he's also a journalist who may sense a great story involving Ashley and Nick.

Christmas Angel is, like so many other movies now jostling for position in the viewing schedules at this time of year, a perfectly fine slice of snow-covered schmaltz. It's pretty harmless, and also pretty hard to praise or criticise to any great degree. I liked it, in the sense that I didn't really dislike it. The fact that this tends to be my default position with any movie, a starting point that I assume any movie will either improve upon or make a bit (sometimes a lot) worse.

Hawker, Davison and Clyde all do well enough in their roles, and none of the supporting cast cause any major problems. The potential relationship between Hawker and Clyde is given the expected unsteady beginning, with the former giving the latter a hard time because . . . . . that just seems to be the way she is, but the way the characters develop throughout the movie is quite nicely handled.

Brittany Wiscombe and Scott Champion are responsible for the screenplay, and therefore responsible for that character development. They do a good job, ladling on the Christmas sugar while attempting to offset the overwhelming sweetness with little moments of acidity. They don't quite do enough, there's just no way I can say that this isn't a bit of a schmaltz-fest, but they manage to make it better than it could have been. If this had featured an Ashley Matthews who was a bit younger, and quicker to believe in Christmas "miracles", then it would have been a real slog.

Director Brian Brough doesn't really have to do much, or so it seems. The camera keeps everyone in the frame, there are many reminders that everything is taking place at Christmas, and everything is laid out simply and efficiently enough, from A to B to C.

Yet another in a long line of seasonal movies that you'll forget about as soon as the big day has come and gone, Christmas Angel is sweet and earnest and eminently disposable. I tend to repeat myself when it comes to reviewing these movies, which is something I worried about until I remembered that most of these films repeat themselves anyway.

5/10

http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Angel-Bruce-Davison/dp/B002LVGXHK/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1418067960&sr=1-1&keywords=christmas+angel

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Crimes Of Passion (1984)

I've said it before and I'll say it again, god bless the brilliant and bonkers Ken Russell. Crimes Of Passion is his usual mix of sex, death, and blasphemy. It's a good film, but it's lifted up further by a starring role for Kathleen Turner and a brilliantly off-kilter turn from Anthony Perkins.

Turner stars as Joanna Crane, a successful businesswoman who leads a double life. At night she likes to dress up, head out, and get her kicks as a prostitute named China Blue. Many of her clients, end up smitten with her, and it's not hard to see why. She knows just what everyone wants, and will enthusiastically work to please almost any fetishist. She risks losing her anonymity and security when a man (Bobby Grady, played by John Laughlin) is hired to shadow her, all because her daytime boss suspects her of theft. Bobby finds himself joining the long queue of smitten men, but China does her best to stop people getting too attached to her. Meanwhile, an unbalanced preacher (Anthony Perkins) becomes determined to save China's soul.

Written by Barry Sandler, Crimes Of Passion is blessed with a script that's profane, witty, lovably ludicrous, and consistently entertaining. The introduction of Turner as China Blue is a scene that no viewer will ever forget, and with good reason. Everything is, quite rightly, skewed towards adoring China and showing just how good she is at her job, and also how being naughty in all the right ways doesn't necessarily make you a bad person. The numerous men who want to save China from her situation fail to realise that she doesn't need saved. She will choose when and how she wants to change her life, and when she will return to a life of being Joanna Crane full-time.

Russell directs with a fearlessness that defined most of his movies. He revels in the material, even if it's somewhat lighter fare than some of his more acclaimed pictures, and doesn't do anything by halves. Russell may be an acquired taste, to put it mildly, but I feel sorry for anyone who can't relax and enjoy the exuberance and sheer cheek present here, and in the majority of his work.

Laughlin is decent enough, I guess, in his role, and Annie Potts is as solid as ever in the role of his unhappy wife (the marriage is not in good health), but all of the best moments revolve around either Perkins, or Turner, or both. Both are brilliant, happily going up to the very edge and then, in different ways, completely over it. Perkins almost seems to be foaming at the mouth during his every moment, while Turner effortlessly mixes comedy, confidence and sexiness in a lead performance that acts as the keystone for the entire film.

It's ridiculous, but it knows exactly what it's doing. Crimes Of Passion will keep you entertained throughout, and also have you laughing out loud at times, but you'll be laughing WITH the film, which may be the highest compliment I can give. Because, in lesser hands, it would have been so easy to laugh AT it.

8/10

http://www.amazon.com/Crimes-Passion-UNCUT-China-Blue/dp/B006PM86JO/ref=sr_1_5?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1401637528&sr=1-5&keywords=crimes+of+passion

The Lords Of Salem (2012)

Damn you, Rob Zombie, damn you. It's okay to make mistakes, it's okay to fall while stretching beyond your normal reach, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating when the end result is such a mess. I always think that a discussion of any Rob Zombie movie somehow requires an opening statement making clear exactly where I stand on the filmography of the man. I loved House Of 1000 Corpses and I loved The Devil's Rejects, and then it started to slip and slide downhill. I actually enjoyed the Halloween remake and I thought The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto was as hilarious as it was juvenile. It all started to go wrong with Halloween II (which I still gave a respectable 6/10). The Lords Of Salem is, without a doubt, his worst movie. The fact that it's so unoriginal isn't a problem. The other movies that he's done have all allowed Zombie to wear his influences on his sleeve. It's the fact that is so unoriginal without his own twist on the material, the fact that it's so visually inept and ugly and the fact that it's just inexcusably dull from start to finish. Zombie shows no progression whatsoever as an artist, and has actually gone backwards since his fantastic debut feature.

The story is all about a radio DJ named Heidi (Sheri Moon Zombie) who receives a record from a mystery band, simply calling themselves "the lords". When she plays the record she starts to feel funny, eventually experiencing strange visions that may be flashbacks to more violent time in Salem's dark history. Her colleagues (played by Jeff Daniel Phillips and Ken Foree) don't really notice anything unusual initially, but as things get worse they start to worry that Heidi has gone back to a drug habit after a long period of being clean. The one person who starts to piece things together is Francis Matthias (Bruce Davison), a bit of an expert in the local history. Unfortunately, Heidi is soon being "looked after" by three women (Judy Geeson, Dee Wallace and Patricia Quinn) and she seems to be heading towards some big trouble.

There are some individual, good moments in The Lords Of Salem. It's not an irredeemable disaster, and it's not something that I'll refuse to ever rewatch, but those overlooking the many major flaws to praise it as Rob Zombie's homage to Euro-horrors are setting a lot of future newcomers up for a big fall. Zombie himself described it (in this clip) "as if Ken Russell directed The Shining" and mentions Polanski as another influence. He's not actually far off the mark, but none of those filmmakers would have a transition quite as clumsy as the sequence that introduces Heidi's place of work and colleagues and treats the audience like hyperactive children. Frustratingly, he shows in some other shots that he can do much better. Some moments do have a nice, controlled approach to both the shot composition and camera movement, but it's usually not long until he slips back into his old habits.

A lot of detractors of the film, or Zombie in general, have been quick to criticise Sheri Moon Zombie in the lead role. She's not that bad. Indeed, none of the actors (many of whom are firm favourites among horror fans, surprise surprise) do a bad job. Geeson, Wallace and Quinn, in particular, provide the most fun and seem to attack their roles with relish. Meg Foster also appears in a small, but vital, role and Sid Haig and Michael Berryman put in cameo appearances.

The soundtrack is pretty good, with one or two standout tracks, and the quality of the sound design serves as a reminder that this is a film from a man who knows what he's doing by now (in terms of the basic technical aspects, at least).

I enjoyed a few scenes, I was impressed by one or two creepy moments and in the first half hour of the film I was hoping that it would improve and build to something truly memorable. That didn't happen. The fact that it all came so completely undone didn't make me angry, it just left me disappointed. Other people already gave up on Rob Zombie a few years ago, but I keep giving him one more chance. I know that he's capable of some great stuff. The Lords Of Salem sees him trying hard to refute that.

4/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lords-Salem-Sheri-Moon-Zombie/dp/B00BIODT0A/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370338335&sr=8-1&keywords=the+lords+of+salem

Titanic II (2010)

It's another cannily-titled cash-in from our friends at The Asylum and if you can't guess the movie they're hoping to emulate then perhaps you deserve to be forced into watching the thing. But, before I get carried away with easy mockery and insults, I must just say that this is far from the worst of the movies to come from The Asylum. In fact, it's actually almost good though these films always lose a few points for the cynical way that sees them being created in the first place.

The Titanic II is a ship (hence the title, this is NOT a sequel to James Cameron's Titanic) that is due to travel on the same journey as the original Titanic did exactly one hundred years previously. If you're superstitious then you may not want to get on the ship but plenty of people (desperate actors, desperate wannabe models and out-of-work service staff, by the looks of things) throw caution to the wind and grab themselves a ticket. Well, of all the unlikely and unfortunate events to occur, a huge ice shelf breaks off many miles away and sends a tsunami wave towards the ship. There are also big blocks of ice that may cause quite a bit of damage. Oh, and another wave is due to head their way that's even bigger.

Directed and written by Shane Van Dyke (son of Barry Van Dyke and grandson of Dick Van Dyke), Titanic II actually does what it sets out to do fairly well. It sets up the main characters, sketches out the leanest of backstories, throws onscreen a load of disposable victims and gets the threat developed as quickly as possible. The FX work is disappointing but also an improvement on past works from the studio.

Shane Van Dyke also takes one of the main roles and he's not too bad. Okay, nobody is too great either but I'd have to concede that the acting here is also an improvement over past efforts from The Asylum. Marie Westbrook and Michelle Glavan aren't the best actresses but are likeable enough as the destruction threatens them at every turn. Brooke Burns is also okay and Bruce Davison deserves better at this stage in his career but works well with what he's given. Everyone else overacts appropriately and gets to throw themselves around as the camera tilts and judders to simulate the effects of a ship being battered in the middle of the ocean.

If you're after something that's of proper movie quality and measured by the standards of fare that can get into the local multiplex then look elsewhere. But if you're after something that's enjoyable enough while it passes the time, laughable in places, cheap and cheerful throughout and amusingly ridiculous then you could do a lot worse than watching this film.

4/10

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Spies Like Us (1985)

When Spies Like Us first came out I remember that I rented it numerous times, running home with that chunky VHS box in my pre-teen hands and looking forward each time to the antics of Dan Aykroyd and Chevy Chase sparking off each other onscreen. And then I was always disappointed by the slow build-up and the flat patches in between the decent moments of comedy, even at that early age.

So it's no surprise to learn that the film turns out to be just the same nowadays as it seemed way back then. The story is a simple one. Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd are two government employees who think that they're being given a chance to be spies when, in actual fact, they're nothing more than decoys while the valued spies get on with their duties. This leads to numerous situations in which our inept leads find themselves way out of their depth and with their lives on the line.

Based on a screenplay by Dan Aykroyd, Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel, Spies Like Us is clearly inspired by the Bing Crosby/Bob Hope "Road" movies and works well as a tribute. Chevy Chase is the fast-talking, bumbling half of the duo while Aykroyd is actually pretty smart and simply unequipped for a mission which the two men have not been expected to complete in any event.

Director John Landis paces things almost exactly as he paced Trading Places, except this time around there are less big laughs in the comedic moments and so the movie feels slower and "flabbier" despite a runtime of just over 100 minutes. Highlights include a selection of scenes showing our duo going through intense training, a sequence in which the two try to pass themselves off as doctors and a finale that features the funktastic sound of "Soul Finger".

Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd play to their strengths, you'll know already if you love or hate them, and the rest of the cast includes such luminaries as Steve Forrest, Donna Dixon, Bruce Davison, Bernie Casey, Frank Oz and, as this is a Landis movie, a number of cameos from the likes of Terry Gilliam, Ray Harryhausen, Joel Coen, Sam Raimi and many others.

Oh, and to end on a little bit of trivia, the "see you next Wednesday" that was a Landis trademark in many of his movies is seen on an army-related poster in the office of Colonel Rhumbus (played by Casey). 

6/10.

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