The Conjuring: Last Rites (2025)

And here we are, at last, with the last entry in The Conjuring movie series. Yeah. Sure. If you believe that then I have a lovely bridge to sell you. But let’s take things at face value for now.

You should know what to expect by now. People are affected by spooky shenanigans. Ed (Patrick Wilson) and Lorraine Warren (Vera Farmiga) eventually turn up to help them, and the Warrens have never encountered a ghost that they couldn’t actually label a demon. The movies allow them to be presented as Super-Exorcists. Meanwhile, reality has left viewers more and more equipped to see the Warrens as con artists, at best, and very dangerous and exploitative abusers, at worst. This time around they are assisted by their equally "gifted" daughter, Judy (Mia Tomlinson), and it's the Smurl family who are at the mercy of horrible demons.

I could spend the majority of this review mentioning the screenplay by the three writers (Ian Goldberg, Richard Naing, and David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick, none of them strangers to the extended Conjuring cinematic universe) . I could throw a bit of shade at director Michael Chaves, who has been allowed to helm this after two of the weakest movies in that aforementioned selection of films. I could also point you towards The Haunted, the 1991 TV movie that generally does a better job of showing the real-life case this film is based on. That film has lead roles for Sally Kirkland and Jeffrey DeMunn, has Stephen Markle and Diane Baker portraying the Warrens, and is a more completely satisfying telling of the tale.

I could do all of those things, but it would only allow me to delay myself admitting that this is decidedly okay. I would probably enjoy it a lot more if it didn't seem so determined to get us all to buy into the "cult of the Warrens", but there are some individual scares that are effective and fun. There's also a lot of stuff that will have you rolling your eyes, and I thought it was bordering on parody to have Ed Warren uttering multiple warnings to people about their special relic room chock full of allegedly haunted and cursed objects.

Wilson and Farmiga can do this in their sleep by now, but they never feel as if they're sleepwalking through the whole thing. The dialogue is bad, and there isn't a scene that isn't overstuffed with ridiculously melodramatic lines about demons and souls and love, but both Wilson and Farmiga play it all as admirably straight as they have done throughout the other movies in this series. Tomlinson also does well, and Ben Hardy works nicely alongside her (he's a young man brave enough to consider marrying into the Warren family). As for the Smurl family members, the cast all do well enough, but are overshadowed by the shadows and spectres whirling around them for most of the runtime.

I didn't like this. I wouldn't recommend it to horror fans. It's hard to deny that it works how it is intended though. It's a mainstream chiller punctuated by some jumps and spooky moments, and many will consider it a perfect viewing choice when looking for something to watch and be thrilled by on a dark night in front of the TV. I just wasn't impressed. Maybe the next movie in this series will work for me. Oh, of course, I almost forgot that this was the last one. Hmmmmm. We'll see. Don't be surprised if we hear news in the next few years that we're getting something titled "The Conjuring In Connecticut".

4/10

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The Nun II (2023)

Sometimes it is annoying to see a film that seems intent on playing out exactly as you think it will. I wasn’t a fan of The Nun, considering it a prime example of the worst content you sometimes get in modern horror movies, so I had very low expectations for The Nun II. As the end credits rolled, I tried to decide whether or not this was worse or better than the first film. Ultimately, I think it is on a par with it. That is not a good thing.

The plot is annoyingly simple. The demon nun is back, moving away from where she was supposedly defeated in the last movie, and potentially hiding in the body of some innocent pawn. Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga) is tasked once again with facing off against the malevolent figure. She has a potential ally in young Debra (Storm Reid), and is also reunited with Maurice aka Frenchie (Jonus Bloquet).

Directed by Michael Chaves, who seems to be the person to go to when you want someone to helm a less-than-stellar entry into the extended Conjuring cinematic universe (having also given us The Curse Of La Llorona and The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It), this is a prime example of how to mishandle atmosphere and scares. The script, written by Akela Cooper, Ian Goldberg, and Richard Naing, isn’t good, but the material is translated from page to screen with no idea of how to maximise the impact of any moments. There’s even one great potential scare, making use of magazines on a large stand, that is undermined by the mistiming of the jump scare that you know is due to come along towards the end of the sequence.

Farmiga does as well as she can, having to base her entire performance around the idea of looking worried while holding on to an inner strength, and both Reid and Bloquet just about manages to overcome the weak material given to them. Suzanne Bertish also manages to make at least some kind of impression while everyone else blends into one mass of potential victims to be terrorised by the scary nun (played once more by Bonnie Aarons, who again gives a commendable physical performance under the make-up).

While fumbled scares aren’t appreciated in a film supposedly designed to scare viewers, there’s something worse about how silly and careless the third act feels. The film becomes so ridiculous that every main beat becomes genuinely laughable when it’s supposed to be getting more intense. 

I racked my brain to think of any more positives, from the production design to the score. Sadly, nothing else managed to stand out in a good way. This is lazy, unscary, and completely pointless. I am already praying that we don’t get a third.

3/10

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The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)

Is this the final film in The Conjuring cinematic universe? I hope so. If not, it should be. Mainly because there are only so many times viewers should be made to swallow another horror film that posits the Warrens (Ed and Lorraine, played here once again by Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) as shining beacons of goodliness helping to save innocent souls from the clutches of demonic forces. That's not me deliberately "forgetting" any other horror franchise that maintains the same leads throughout, but I cannot think of any other characters within the genre who are painted as being so constantly right and slightly above everyone around them.

Let me get to describing the plot here. The Warrens are helping a young boy who has been possessed. That young boy is in serious trouble, but his older brother (Arne, played by Ruairi O'Connor) tries to save the day by offering himself as a vessel for the evil. Ed Warren has a heart attack, but has to get himself fit as soon as possible, and he and Lorraine want to help save Arne from a death sentence when he is arrested after murdering his landlord. Things play out as you expect them to play out, all underlined by that fear-inducing selling point that it is all "based on a true story".

There are a few things working against this third Conjuring movie, but the main one may be the fact that it's no longer James Wan directing. That role has been handed to Michael Chaves (the man responsible for the massively average The Curse Of La Llorona). Say what you like about these movies, or the widening cinematic universe they have created, but Wan knows how to best execute scares, and he is a master at laying out the geography of sites in order to set up atmosphere and jumps later. Chaves, to put it bluntly, does not. There are some lovely shots here, and a lot of the cinematography by Michael Burgess is better than the weak material deserves, but there aren't any good scares. And there's a disappointing lack of anything that reinforces the period, or even the locations of the various set-pieces. That's not to say that the production design doesn't set out to replicate the early '80s, or Connecticut, but the films is so focused on the Warrens, or the force they are battling, that nothing else in the film feels like anything other than the minimal amount required of setting required for the main events.

The second thing working against the movie is the script by David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick. Having worked with James Wan on a couple of previous movies, I suspect that Johnson-McGoldrick had his hands tied here, with Wan helping in the story department and obviously wanting to maintain the value of a horror franchise that has now been able to sell itself as much on his name as the actual onscreen content.

Last, but by no means least, there's an over-familiarity here, and it feels like a big mis-step to try and move away from the haunted house horrors of the two main films that preceded it. I'd rather watch an imperfect haunted house movie than a dull story that mixes demonic possession with a big court case. The latter now feels overdone, mainly thanks to the many films that have mixed horror with standard drama/thriller tropes over the past few decades (and, while it has been over 15 years, The Exorcism Of Emily Rose has cast a long shadow here, for better or worse), while the former can always work well, even if far too familiar, by providing some easy spookiness and scares.

Wilson and Farmiga do well in the lead roles, very comfortable in the skin of these characters, and they arguably bring more to the material than it deserves. They are both very likeable, and completely believable as a couple in love for all of their time together. O'Connor is good, but has to deliver a performance that is overwhelmed by jerky movements and crackling sound effects when he's in the throes of the possession. Nobody else really matters, which is a shame when you have decent supporting turns from John Noble, young Julian Hilliard (playing David, the first victim of possession), Sarah Catherine Hook, and Keith Arthur Bolden. 

It starts off feeling like a film you have seen many times before, with even a strong nod to The Exorcist (and it's a brave film that so blatantly references THE iconic shot), and then stitches mediocre moments together from many other films you have seen before, leading to a finale that inevitably feels like, well, you've seen it all before. Because you have. Sometimes in movies within this very cinematic universe.

Competently done, in terms of the standard drama, but ultimately a disappointing end to a number of Warren-based movies that have exemplified the cinematic law of diminishing returns.

4/10

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The Curse Of La Llorona (2019)

There's a lot to like about The Curse Of La Llorona, on the surface. I am going to start with that, just in case I get distracted and give the impression that I hated it. I didn't. Hell, it gets bonus points straight away for giving a lead role to Linda Cardellini. So it's just a shame that so many moments that could have worked well just fall surprisingly flat, with all concerned seemingly happier to turn what could have been an impressively fright-filled bit of mainstream horror into something a lot more tame, and sillier, than it needed to be.

The main premise is simple. There's an evil spirit, La Llorona, that frightens and takes away children, once they come under her gaze. Cardellini plays Anna Tate-Garcia, a woman employed in the social service sector, first seen being asked to work on a case involving a fraught mother (Patricia, played by Patricia Velasquez) and two young boys. More importantly, Anna has her own two children, Chris (Roman Christou) and Samantha (Jaynee-Lynne Kinchen). It's only a matter of time until La Llorona catches sight of those two, giving her two new potential victims while Anna tries to figure out just what is going on, and how she can put an end to it.

Cardellini does well with her complex role of "strong, frightened mother", the kids do well while being terrorised and terrified, and Raymond Cruz is the other main cast member, playing Rafael Olvera, a priest on the edge who doesn't necessarily play by the rules but gets things done, dammit. Velasquez is fine, Marisol Ramirez is given a makeover to play La Llorona, and Tony Amendola appears to connect events to Annabelle. Because, yes, it is tangentially linked to that movie, which gives it a head start at the box office, and in the home entertainment market, thanks to the value of the IP, always fairly visible on all of the marketing materials.

Considering this is his first feature, Michael Chaves does a very good job in the director's chair, even if he wraps every main scare sequence in low lighting and murkiness. There are some nice visual touches throughout, but it's hard to remember them once the end credits have rolled after you realise that you spent most of the film squinting at one patch of darkness after another. The jump scares are reasonably effective, but only until you realise that it's the same couple of tricks being re-used every few minutes (either something glimpsed in one part of the frame to then be seen a lot closer to a main character in the next moment or a feigned bit of misdirection while La Llorona gets within reach of her prey), and the third act subsequently suffers because of this. What should have been a sustained helping of tension just becomes a bit tiresome, something you want over and done with at least 10 minutes before you actually get to the end.

Writers Mikki Daughtry and Tobias Iaconis (who previously wrote Five Feet Apart together, this is their first horror movie) seem to know what is expected of them, and I'm curious to know how much of this is their own creation and how much of it was shaped by the producers who wanted another hit entry in the ever-expanding Conjuring universe. They don't do a terrible job at all, considering this is their first foray into the horror genre, although the simplistic plot should have been fertile ground for some much better, scarier, set-pieces.

Far from the worst of these movies (that would still be The Nun), this is also far from the best. It just feels like some kind of place-holder, something to throw out as a treat for audiences in between the titles expected to do bigger business.

5/10

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