Prime Time: Out Of Time (2003)

While this isn't the best noir directed by Carl Franklin, nor the best star vehicle for Denzel Washington, nor the best noir directed by Carl Franklin that ALSO doubles as a star vehicle for Denzel Washington (that is, of course, Devil In A Blue Dress), Out Of Time is the kind of enjoyable and silly entertainment that makes you wish that Franklin and Washington worked together on a dozen more movies.

Washington is Matt Lee Whitlock, a police chief in Florida who is separated from his wife, Alex (Eva Mendes), and tries to make plenty of time to get hot and heavy with Ann (Sanaa Lathan) whenever her husband (Chris, played by Dean Cain) is busy at work. Ann has some bad news though. Cancer. The treatment that might save her life is far too expensive. Whitock thinks he may be able to help though, if he can temporarily make use of a large stash of cash being held in his evidence room. The evidence won't need to be examined for a while, which gives him plenty of time to sort everything else out and get it back before anyone notices. Unfortunately, things change very quickly. Whitlock needs to work fast to stay one step ahead of people investigating a crime on his patch, as well as some people heading to his office to collect that pile of money.

Out Of Time is ridiculous for almost every moment of the runtime, but it's ridiculous AND entertaining. The 105 minutes just fly by, helped by the fact that Whitlock has to keep moving faster and faster as soon as he knows that people are breathing down his neck and watching his every move. One of those people being his ex-wife adds a layer of tension, but that's offset slightly by a good friend (Chae, played by John Billingsley) who is always eager to help. Dave Collard's screenplay keeps the emphasis on the fast-thinking and happy coincidences that allow our lead to maintain his freedom, even if that looks set to inevitably come to an end before the end credits roll, and Franklin directs everything with the perfect level of energy and Denzel-charged charism.

Washington is great in the lead role, at his most charming and confident, even as the walls close in tighter around him. Both Lathan and Cain also do well, with the latter really making the most of a moment opposite Washington that is the absolute highlight of the entire movie, both men speaking to each other directly while covering the truth in a very thin layer of metaphorical clothing. Mendes does well with what could have been a nothing part, considering how she is one of the people who have to be kept a step or two behind Washington's character, and Billingsley is just the right kind of comic relief, highlighting the true moral compass of our lead by often referring to his own willingness to exploit the situation. 

Absolutely disposable nonsense, more interested in allowing a star to spend time delivering some of that star swagger than anything else, but everyone gives their usual attention to their individual work, from Theo Van De Sande's cinematography to Graeme Revell's score. It may not be one you'll think of revisiting often, but it's a fun time while it's on.

6/10

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Prime Time: Madness In The Method (2019)

I like Jason Mewes, and I like almost everything that Kevin Smith has done, in film form, so I went into Madness In The Method hoping to like it. It looked silly, and I don't mind silly, and it looked like another attempt by Mewes to do something not completely tied to Smith and co.

Mewes plays himself, a movie version of himself anyway, and the start of the movie rolls through a brief history of his life and rise to cult stardom. The problem that Mewes has is that nobody will take him seriously as an actor. He wants to develop his career, but everyone sees him as "Jay", Mr Snooch To The Booch. When he's recommended some reading material about becoming a method actor, Mewes soon gets so serious about things that he starts killing people. He might be able to pin the blame on his friend, Vinnie Jones, but there will be many more deaths as Mewes struggles to bag the lead role in what is expected to be a huge hit movie directed by Brian O'Halloran. Oh, and Kevin Smith comes onscreen for a few conversations with his good buddy, of course.

I was surprised to find that Mewes didn't also write the script for this - that job went to Dominic Burns and first-timer Chris Anastasi (for reasons unknown, although I wouldn't be at all surprised if a number of scenes were improvised when certain actors were available) - but his first time behind the camera for a feature film isn't terrible. It's just not all that good. Considering the company he has kept for so many years, you'd think that Mewes would be wary of making something so meta. Maybe other people who enjoy his body of work expect that, but maybe some of them will be as tired of it as I am. It's a joke worn too thin at this point, certainly with this cast of characters, and that just leaves everyone involved here looking a bit, well, old and tired.

Fair play to Mewes for making himself essentially the butt of the joke, and for using his directorial debut to try to deliver both jokes and catharsis. It just doesn’t work, mainly because it’s an idea that requires a smarter approach.

The stunt casting helps a little bit. Jones is fun in his role, Smith and O’Halloran are both acting in line with every other screen performance they have ever delivered. Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher are reunited, although never onscreen together, Gina Carano plays the wife of Mewes, and Danny Trejo has fun being extra camp for a minute or two. Many other people come and go, including the cops on the tail of Mewes, but the film is all about the familiar faces roped in to the shenanigans.

Not quite as bad as I expected it to be, and Mewes doesn’t embarrass himself in the role of director, Madness In The Method is a low-budget bit of fun that fans of the View Askewniverse may find at least passable. Nobody else should bother with it.

4/10

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The Dog Who Saved Christmas (2009)

An unlikely start to a franchise, and yet here is a dog-centred Christmas film that currently has numerous sequels. Don't take that as a sign of quality, however. It's really just a sign of how easily these kinds of films can be churned out.

Mario Lopez provides the voice of Zeus, a dog who wants to do well for his new owners (Gary Valentine, Elisa Donovan, and their kids, played by Sierra McCormick and Charlie Stewart). Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to be able to move around the house without putting a paw wrong. But maybe he can get himself into good enough guard dog shape in time to foil a couple of would-be robbers (Dean Cain and Joey Diaz).

With a smattering of decent enough names, including Mindy Sterling and Adrienne Barbeau in small supporting roles, and enough scenes showing a lovely dog looking lovely, The Dog Who Saved Christmas is fairly easy holiday viewing. There are also a couple of talking rodents that will remind viewers of Babe (a much better film for those seeking some talking animals).

Written by Michael Ciminera and Richard Gnolfo (with the two of them helped in the story department by Jeffrey Schenck), this is a simple tale of being able to find your inner strength when it is most needed. The backstory for Zeus tries to be worthwhile, although it doesn't end up being nearly as effective as it should be, and the third act is when you are rewarded with one or two satisfying moments. Sort of.

Director Michael Feifer looks to have made a real career for himself in the world of TV movies, and I can only hope that he has used each project to try honing his craft a little bit more. Judging him solely on this film, he does very little to elevate the material, and nothing to help distract from the cheapness of it all.

Despite its many flaws, mainly the lack of care in the script department and the lack of care from Feifer, this has enough to keep undemanding viewers mildly entertained for the runtime. And when I say that I actually mean that I am happy enough to watch any film with a cute doggie as the main character (whether or not he or she is being voiced by one of the Saved By The Bell cast).

4/10

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The Three Dogateers (2014)

Don't judge me. I don't mind watching movies aimed at kids. In fact, most of the time they're absolutely on my wavelength, which supports the many times that my wife has accused me of immaturity. The fact that I respond to that accusation by blowing raspberries may further support the idea, but that's beside the point. Anyway, I had another reason for watching The Three Dogateers. Actor Bill Oberst Jr, a hard-working thespian who I always try to support in everything that he does (although, admittedly, he does so much that I struggle to keep up half the time).

Unfortunately, I didn't like this film.

The story concerns three dogs, of course. They've been left home alone when their master (Dean Cain) has to rush off to meet a client. He wants to get there, make his pitch, and get home as quickly as possible, allowing himself time to get everything ready for the Christmas dinner that his partner will be expecting when she walks back through the door. Anyway, while he's away, a couple of robbers break in and help themselves to the tree and gifts. The three dogs (small, white and cute - not exactly the best guard dogs) decide to track the thieves, which results in them eventually being stranded in the middle of nowhere. Who can help them get home in time for Christmas? Perhaps a Santa Claus (Richard Riehle), but only if they can avoid the clutches of a master dogcatcher named Barney Gloatt (Oberst Jr), a man who only needs to catch three more dogs to break a world record.

My Spidey-sense started tingling when I saw how many hats Jesse Baget was wearing on this movie. Not that I dislike Baget. I wasn't even aware of him before this movie, although checking out his filmography has reminded me of a couple of titles that I've been meaning to see at some point. He wrote, directed and co-produced the movie. He also provides two of the main dog voices, with Danielle Judovits providing the third.

That tingling got stronger when the dogs started "talking". I expected them to talk, of course, but I didn't expect the FX work to appear quite so cheap and ill-fitting. You could say that I was naive there, and the film can only work within the budget it has, but I would counter by suggesting that Baget could have gotten around this problem by either a) simply allowing the dogs to be voicing thoughts that only other dogs could hear or b) simply shooting less scenes that put all focus on a dog with CGI mouth movements stuck in front of its face.

The acting style is broad, no doubt about that, and no crime in it either. This is aime squarely at kids. Movements and quirks are exaggerated, with most of the adults appearing onscreen shown to be stumbling, bumbling figures obviously needing help from, or to be outsmarted by, the three dogs. Cain only has a few scenes, and he's over the top in all of them, while Riehle basically comes in for the final third of the movie and has the easier job of playing a mall Santa. Oberst Jr. has the biggest role, and he has fun being a cartoonish villain. My biggest problem with his performance was the accent, which seemed to start off as Eastern European and then switch, at some point, to French. The man usually isn't so inconsistent, which leaves me to wonder whether or not writer-director-producer-dogateer Baget started the movie with one idea and then decided to change things as he went along.

Younger children should be reasonably amused by this, but only if you catch them at just the right time. There are some amusing verbal gags, a few ill-timed farts, and a sequence in which the dogs make good their getaway by driving a car (never mind the physical impossibility of it all - it's teamwork, dammit). And the dogs are cute.

Everyone else should probably give this one a miss.

3/10

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The Glow (2002)

A slick, enjoyable TV movie, The Glow benefits from some fun performances, an enjoyable premise and the way that the film unfolds with the viewers staying at least two steps ahead of the central characters.

Dean Cain plays Matt Lawrence, a man who is mugged while out jogging in the first scene of the film. He is approached, and befriended, by some elderly people who offer to let him use their home and telephone to contact his wife, Jackie (Portia de Rossi). By the time Jackie arrives, Matt has well and truly made friends with his saviours. In fact, they've all been getting on so well that Matt has been told about a vacant apartment in the block that could be just perfect for he and his wife. The other tenants own the block, and therefore keep the rents within reason, and really seem to take a shine to the "youngsters" so it's not long until Matt and Jackie cave in and accept the offer. But it also not long until Jackie starts to suspect that all isn't as it seems. Her elderly neighbours are quite obsessed with health and fitness, people start to go missing and events start to seem as if they are being manipulated to take both Matt and Jackie to a certain point.

Directed competently enough by Craig R. Baxley, and written by Gary Sherman (who adapted the book by Brooks Stanwood), The Glow is nonsense, but it doesn't put on any airs and graces. Despite the ridiculous premise, it plays everything straight and relatively safe. Think of it as an extended episode of Goosebumps for adults and you're on the right track.

Cain and de Rossi are okay in the lead roles, with the latter overacting just enough to add some amusement to the proceedings, but it's the older cast members who make this more enjoyable than it should be. Hal Linden and Dina Nerrill both have a twinkle in their eyes, and Grace Zabriskie plays a character with a tongue as sharp as her attitude. Sabrina Grdevich and Jason Blicker play the obligatory friends who get caught up in the situation as things eventually become clear in the second half, and Phoenix Gonzales and Nelson Tynes are two other, non-OAP, tenants in the building.

Although it doesn't include anything extra to spice up the material, this is solid entertainment. I was never bored, I wanted the central characters to realise what they were getting into as events unfolded, and I'd watch it again if it ever came on TV and I was too far away from the remote control. It's nothing special, but it's not bad. It's not bad at all.

6/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Glow-uncut-english-audio/dp/B004XJ6SXW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1378899202&sr=8-1&keywords=the+glow