Longlegs (2024)

I started to "raise the fences" as soon as I heard the praise being heaped upon Longlegs. A lot of people were effusive about it in a way that made me think I should keep my own expectations in check. When people start comparing a crime thriller to The Silence Of The Lambs then I know that hyperbole is usually in play.

Written and directed by Osgood Perkins AKA Oz Perkins, who impressed me enormously with his first two features (February AKA The Blackcoat's Daughter and I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House), Longlegs is a dark and disturbing thriller that deserves a lot of the praise it has received, but it's unsurprisingly not quite the masterpiece that some claim, although I am happy for those who feel that way.

Maika Monroe plays Agent Lee Harker, a young woman who ends up being used by the FBI to crack a difficult and disturbing case involving a killer nick-named Longlegs (Nicolas Cage). Harker has some strange ability, call it an over-developed sense of intuition, which may help, but she also ends up being somehow connected to the case in a way that may hinder things. Agent Carter (Blair Underwood) worries about Harker, but is also impressed by her. Meanwhile, Harker's mother (Ruth, played by Alicia Witt) may need to be questioned about past events that could help our lead in the current investigation.

With an impressive mix of unsettling shot composition and equally unsettling sound and music, Longlegs is a film that aims to keep viewers on edge for the majority of the runtime. There are very few scenes that allow you to feel completely relaxed, and that's before you start to notice the many small details that either foreshadow or link to a backstory revealed on the way to a very dark and tense third act.

Much has been made of Cage's performance here. He's good, but he still gets to indulge in some familiar Cage-isms. This isn't a complete transformation, although the make up and his changed voice do a lot to keep him feeling much more like Longlegs than "CAGE does Longlegs". Monroe is finally in another film that is at least worthy of her talent and presence, and she does a very good job of being awkward and struggling in every moment. Underwood is very good, often playing his part in a very obvious way until the one or two moments that allow him to break out from the stereotype, but the real standouts, for me anyway, are Kiernan Shipka and Alicia Witt, both delivering some of their very best work. Shipka gets to be more serious and dark than usual (although I've only seen some of her movie work, maybe she gets to be serious and dark in the Sabrina show . . . but I'll always be thinking of Melissa Joan Hart), and Witt is the person who delivers a performance that is truly transformative. I don't mean this to sound dismissive or insulting, but Witt has been doing work over the past few years that I never expected after she seemed to enjoy spending so much time in the lucrative Christmas TV movie market. Then again, looking through Witt's filmography makes it clear that she hasn't stopped working in a variety of projects over the past few decades, but it's the Christmas TV movies that get the guaranteed airtime and marketing.

While I would still be hesitant to immediately place it in a conversation with the absolute greats in this sub-genre (one from Demme, two from Fincher, plus one or two others), Longlegs is a meticulous and quite brilliant journey into darkness that may well leave even the hardiest of viewers slightly rattled by the time the end credits start to scroll. Perkins shows that he has been on an upward trajectory ever since his feature debut, becoming more confident and skilled with each outing, and I cannot wait to see what he does next. I also cannot wait to rewatch this, scouring every inch of the frame for the details that offer astonishing verisimilitude and indicators of how everything is due to play out.

8/10

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Netflix And Chill: Last Holiday (2006)

The only reason that I hadn't watched Last Holiday (a remake of a 1950 film of the same name) before now is that, well, I just hadn't. But finding out that it was set during the Christmas season gave me the nudge I needed to finally get around to it. I like Queen Latifah as a screen presence, I knew that the plot would be predictable, and somewhat comforting, and I hoped for some gentle humour throughout. 

Latifa plays Georgia Byrd, a hard-working woman who has let life pass her by. She enjoys cooking, does well in a job role under a boss who has kept her underpaid and under-appreciated for far too long. After bumping her head at work, Georgia ends up with a medical diagnosis that spells doom and gloom. She doesn't have long to live. It's a matter of days. Armed with this information, Georgia decides to head off on a dream holiday, spending all of her savings on a gorgeous suite, eating the best food, and just having the best time possible. She doesn't care what anyone thinks, exuding a confidence and honesty that impresses the likes of Chef Didier (Gérard Depardieu) and a holidaying politician (Giancarlo Esposito) while very much NOT impressing Matthew Kragen (Timothy Hutton), a business owner oblivious to the fact that Georgia actually worked in one of his department stores. There's also room in the plot for Sean Williams (LL Cool J), a colleague/potential love interest, and Ms. Burns (Alicia Witt), the young woman "accompanying" Mr. Kragen on his business trip/holiday. I think you can all start planning out how this ends already.

Written by Jeffrey Price and Peter S. Seaman, and directed by Wayne Wang, this is about as formulaic as movies get. The blending of those writers with that director though, just check out the filmographies of them to see the wildly different movies they have separately been involved with, leads to something that is full of wonderful little moments on the way to an ending that has to tie everything up in a neat little bow. There's fun poked at the difference between those seeking to try great cooking and those ordering items from the menu with a multitude of personal requests that undermine the essence of every dish, there's a ridiculous, but amusing, bit of accidental extreme snowboarding, and, despite acting like a high-roller for the little time she has left, Georgia is quick to remind everyone around her to treat all workers with dignity and respect. It's all generally in line with plenty other rom-coms (and, as easy as it is to forget at times, there is a good dash of rom with the com), but it somehow feels a bit quirkier and more spirited than a lot of them.

Queen Latifah (real name Dana Elaine Owens, fact fans) is the main reason for that. As much as I have always enjoyed her acting, she helps herself when being cast in a role that allows her to shine as brightly as possible, and she absolutely shines in this role. Everyone in the supporting cast seems to respond well to her star power, doing some wonderful work in roles that could have easily just been viewed as a quick payday. Hutton is a fun potential villain, Witt gets an enjoyable journey alongside him, and Cool J is a very sweet man viewers will want to see make that proper connection with our lead. Both Depardieu and Esposito enjoy themselves in atypical roles, and there are fun moments for Susan Kellerman (a hotel employee named Gunther), Matt Ross (an awful store manager), and Ranjit Chowdhry (playing the doctor who has to deliver the dire diagnosis to Latifah’s character).

Despite the abundance of snow and cold temperatures, things could have been made a bit more Christmassy, but that’s my only main criticism. The soundtrack could have been a bit better, and the plotting just a bit tighter, but this is a way to spend just under two hours with someone who is absolutely delightful company. And that is enough.

7/10

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Prime Time: I Care A Lot (2020)

The easiest, and most flippant, way to summarize I Care A Lot is to make some joke about how I didn’t really care for it. I enjoyed it enough while it was on, and the central casting helps a lot, but the whole thing lacks any plausibility, which means it lacks any real bite it should have.

Rosamund Pike plays Marla Grayson, a woman who has built up a very successful business around becoming guardian to numerous elderly individuals. This allows her to drain their assets, bill them for hours spent dealing with their cases, and generally profit from the misery of someone spending the last of their days in a care home environment. Unfortunately, Marla targets Jennifer Peterson (Dianne Wiest), a woman who is connected to the very dangerous Roman Lunyov (Peter Dinklage). This puts Marla and her partner, Fran (Eiza González), in mortal danger.

Written and directed by J Blakeson, this is a film that feels like it wants to be a few different things. It could be a comment on how we treat the elderly. It could be a taut and entertaining thriller. It could be a damning indictment of a system that leaves people with nothing as they simply aim to remain healthy and alive in a society that has already deemed them as having no (or very little) value. The fact that it fails to fully commit to any of these aims means that it ends up an unsatisfying middle of them all, with no one aspect handled as well as it should be.

It all looks clean and cool throughout, although I wouldn’t even say there’s anything particularly standout about the visuals, and the score from Marc Canham is decent, but there’s a distinct air of everything being competent, as opposed to actually good.

The only area of excellence is the cast, and Blakeson really stops the film from being a complete disaster by having such a great selection of main cast members. Pike is superb in a role that feels very similar to one of her best cinematic performances (you will know what one I am on about), and Dinklage is an excellent menacing presence. Wiest is the most pleasant surprise though, making the most of her small amount of screentime to remind everyone that she still excels in any role she is given. To be clear, the surprise isn’t her level of talent, it is seeing her get a couple of real moments to shine in a role that could have easily been no more than a fleeting cameo. González is fine, although not given much to do, and there is some excellent scene-stealing by Chris Messina (playing a slick lawyer) and Macon Blair (playing the son of someone scammed by Pike’s character).

It loses points for having the most ineffective onscreen killers not wearing stormtrooper uniforms, it loses points for not using the obvious Faith No More song choice, and it loses points for an ending that doesn’t feel half as pointed and/or clever as Blakeson may think it is. In fact, the entire third act is more silly than anything else.

I Care A Lot? Nope. And I doubt others will.

5/10

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Our Christmas Love Song (2019)

Alicia Witt has made a good living over the past decade or so by appearing in a LOT of TV movies, mainly ones set during the Christmas period. There may be some stars who have headlined more titles, although I haven't done any actual counting to make sure, but she definitely feels like someone who sits quite high up on the tree.

Here she plays Melody, a successful country music star who is stunned when an old friend accuses her of plagiarism once her latest hit starts to be played on the radio. Melody knows that she wrote the song when she was a teenager, but finding evidence of that means finding the original music. Which means, yep, returning home for the holidays. That inevitably leads to her repeatedly bumping into an old flame, Chase (Brendan Hines). The plot develops in an obvious and predictable way, the memory/spirit of a dead parent casts a large shadow over proceedings, and there's a pleasant song or two sprinkled throughout the soundtrack.

As is so often the case with these comforting Christmas movies, director Gary Yates and writer Julie Sherman Wolfe (expanding on a story by Nancy Grace and Josh Sabarra) have an extensive list of other Christmas movies in their credits already. They know the formula, they know how to put every piece in place, from the overly earnest nature of almost every character to the ever-present layer of sentimentality, and they know what viewers want from this kind of thing. We want snow, we want people drinking hot chocolate and eating cookies, and we can even stomach main characters who act in a way that is almost too good to be true. 

It's not the best turn I have seen from Witt, but she can't really go wrong in this type of role. As likeable and easygoing a presence as she is, she doesn't convince as much in the role of country singer made good. It's not enough to unbalance the whole movie though, mainly because she's still Alicia Witt. Hines is a decent enough male lead, carrying a tiny spark of actual personality that allows him to edge ahead of so many other bland options I've seen in these types of movies. There's also a fun little turn from Andrea del Campo, playing Jillian, the sister of Melody, Ava Darrach-Gagnon is equally enjoyable as Dot, the sister of Chase, and Anna Anderson-Epp is given the role of over-enthusiastic and grinning child, Lucy (Melody's niece). Karen Kruper is Connie and Curtis Moore is Burt, Connie's manager, the people who approach Melody with their accusation of plagiarism.

There are very few of these movies that I would rush to rewatch. As I've said many times before, they're created to be pleasant "background noise" while you decorate the tree, wrap presents, and do whatever else you need to do on the run up to Christmas Day. I did like this one though, perhaps because I am predisposed to like any TV movie with Witt in a lead role. The central concept was a good way to have the main character revisit some key moments from her past, even if the whole thing could have been wrapped up within minutes.

This is definitely not the last film with a lead role for Witt that I will be seeing this year.

6/10

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A Madea Christmas (2013)

In the interests of full disclosure I have to start this review by saying that this was my first Madea movie. I checked with a friend to find out if I could/should view this one without having seen any of the others and was given the okay (cheers Kieran). And I WILL check out other Madea movies. Not because this one was fantastic - it wasn't - but because I am now fascinated with seeing how Tyler Perry puts his creation into different scenarios.

Having first appeared in a number of stage plays (about half of which have since been adapted into movies), Madea is an elderly African American woman with a hellish attitude, brutal honesty, and the ability to overreact to many minor incidents while staying calm in the face of more emotional moments. This is what I have gleaned from one film anyway. And she is played by Tyler Perry.

Now that we both know a bit about the character, let's move on to the plot of the film. Madea ends up heading along with Eileen (Anna Maria Horsford) to visit Eileen's daughter, Lacey (Tika Sumpter). Lacey has to hide the fact that she is married to a lovely young white man (Conner, played by Eric Lively), pretending that he is her helper, and is also facing trouble at the school she works at, struggling to help fund local Christmas celebrations that will allow the kids to shine. One of those kids is extremely bright, much to the delight of his mother (Alicia Witt), although his father (Chad Michael Murray) has more immediate concerns about his farmland and struggle to make ends meet. Oh, and Conner's parents (Larry The Cable Guy and Kathy Najimy) are about to visit.

Yes, that was me trying to be brief with the plot description there, but there's a lot more to mention. The character played by Chad Michael Murray spent many years bullying the character played by Eric Lively. The funding for the local festivities comes with a number of strings attached. There's a random Ku Klux Klan meeting gag. And so much more.

Although I have no other experience with this character, or these plays and movies, A Madea Christmas gives me the distinct impression that Tyler Perry likes to stir plenty into the pot, all the while having his female creation ready to take centre stage whenever necessary. She doesn't necessarily solve any, or all, problems but she enables others to find their own solutions. And she does this by cutting through any bullshit, in between scenes that have her either throwing her weight around and cussing or spouting some tiresome homely wisdom.

The acting ranges from soap opera levels (Murray and Horsford can't overcome the poor writing) to the genuinely good (Perry, despite the broad comedy of the character he plays, is great in the lead role, and other very good turns come from Sumpter, Lively, Mr Cable Guy, Najimy, and Witt), and the direction is solid, if deliberately leaving aside any flash and sizzle in favour of simple camerawork and scene set-ups.

The big problem here is the script, veering between comedy to earnest drama back to comedy again like some drunk driver heading along an empty four-lane stretch of highway while searching for the packet of cigarettes he just dropped under his seat. One or two moments work while mixing the two - particularly a revelation and clearing of the air scene in the third act - but most make you feel as if you're watching two different movies that were dropped en route to the editing department and then just spliced together into one ill-judged hybrid.

So there you go. Feel free to take this review with a pinch of salt. And whenever I see my next Madea movie I can find out if my initial impressions were correct, or if her character is better suited to some of the other adventures that Tyler Perry has created for her.

5/10

Here you go, my American friends, buy it here. We have a lot less available to us here in the UK, which may not be a bad thing.

April Fools: Cecil B. DeMented (2000)

John Waters is a fun guy. His career spans decades and he remains defiantly subversive and independent. In fact, Waters himself might agree that the fact that he HAS such a lengthy career defies the odds. He doesn't make movies for the mainstream, but instead aims squarely for the awkward, the odd, the unbalanced, the outsiders, and the fiercely individual. AKA the cool people. Bizarrely, the mainstream sometimes picks up what he lays down. I'm thinking mainly of the stage show and movie remake that stemmed from Hairspray. There was also no small amount of love shown for Serial Mom when it came out, but maybe I was just finding more friends who appreciated Waters at that point.

Anyway, I should really start talking about Cecil B. DeMented. It's a film that, in some ways, seems perfectly designed to appeal to the mainstream, hence my opening ramble, but in every other way it's quintessentially Waters (who has Hollywood squarely in his sights).

Stephen Dorff is Cecil, a young artist frustrated with the entertainment world around him. Blockbusters rub shoulders with lame remakes and lame sequels, and that needs to change. Which is why he kidnaps the famous Honey Whitlock (Melanie Griffith). Forcing her to act in his movie, Cecil explains his aim and Honey eventually starts to come around to his way of thinking. But will anyone else, aside from his small group of loyal followers?

With a lot of great, albeit easy, gags and a cast that mixes a couple of well-known names with some relative "unknowns" such as Jack Noseworthy, Adrian Grenier, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Michael Shannon, Cecil B. DeMented is unlikely to be anyone's favourite John Waters movie, but it's one that I can happily revisit and never tire of. The slim runtime helps - it barely edges over the 80 minute mark - and the rest of the cast, including Alicia Witt and Lawrence Gilliard Jr, also do their bit, with plenty of enthusiasm making up for any failings in actual acting expertise. Dorff is great in the lead role, but Griffith also deserves some credit for putting herself in the midst of such madness.

Despite the thin layer of polish on everything, this is still a biting, anarchic, and interesting work from a writer-director who rarely, if ever, lets me down. The fact that he's only given us one more movie since this one in the last fifteen years is a great shame, and I hope that he's not finished warping our minds just yet.

8/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cecil-Demented-DVD-Melanie-Griffith/dp/B006C0TX8M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1397077920&sr=8-1&keywords=cecil+b+demented