Ani-MAY-tion Month: Toy Story (1995)

It's strange now to think of the many, many years before Pixar were such a huge success in the realm of animated movies, but Toy Story certainly announced their arrival in the best way possible. Smart, packed with great gags and characters, a visual delight (although Pixar would develop and improve with each subsequent movie), and benefiting from a premise that will appeal to any child, and anyone who can remember their childhood.

Woody (Tom Hanks) is a cowboy, and he's also young Andy's favourite toy. He loves his life. When nobody else is around, the toys are all able to live the lives that they keep secret from all of us humans. But things change when Andy receives a shiny new toy for his birthday. A Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) action figure. Buzz has a laser, wings, better audio speakers, the lot. He's a super duper, shiny spaceman, and his presence threatens Woody's position as the number one toy in the room. And to add to the frustration, Buzz doesn't realise that he is a toy. He thinks that he is THE Buzz Lightyear.

Directed by John Lasseter, who also developed the story idea with Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter and Joe Ranft, Toy Story remains not just one of Pixar's best movies, but also a statement of intent. It showed just how in tune they were with audiences, mixing fresh ideas and animation with enough jokes and nostalgia to keep adults happy. The script is packed full of great lines, written by Stanton, Alec Sokolow, Joel Cohen, and one Joss Whedon, and the world of the toys is rendered in a creative, colourful, and brilliantly believable, way by the team of talented animators.

The voice cast is the icing on the cake. Hanks and Allen are both superb as Woody and Buzz, but the film is given even more plus points thanks to the involvement of Don Rickles, Jim Varney, John Ratzenberger, Wallace Shawn, R. Lee Ermey, Annie Potts, and, well, basically everyone who lends their voice to any character (including Erik von Detten, who does great work as Sid, the nasty kid who lives next door, and spends a lot of his time damaging toys).

The original, and still the best, Toy Story is an object lesson in how to make a modern movie for the whole family. The tools are used to realise the story, as opposed to being overused just because they're available, the film talks directly to children without ever talking down to them, and both the script and visuals provide enough gags and details to keep boredom at bay, no matter how many times you've already seen it.

10/10

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Ani-MAY-tion Month: Wallace And Gromit In The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit (2005)

Wallace and Gromit are two British characters, the former a human and the latter his dog, with a great love of cheese, and the two have been entertaining us in numerous short films for years now. Created by Nick Park, the big boss at Aardman Animation, they are, arguably, the best double-act from the UK since The Two Ronnies. Oh yes, they're THAT good, even if they're made of plasticine/clay and only move thanks to stop-motion animation. But not every great duo can make the transition from the small screen to the big screen.

There is, however, nothing to complain about here. This feature movie is a joy from start to finish. The plot sees our two main characters finding themselves a bit perturbed when local villagers have their greenhouses and vegetable plots ransacked. Wallace and Gromit, having offered security with their Anti-Pesto humane pest control service, have a lot of fingers pointed at them for their inability to deal with the situation, but this is a situation that nobody could have envisioned. As the title suggests, this is one veg-munching pest unlike any they have dealt with before.
There's also a potential love interest, in the shape of Lady Tottington (Helena Bonham Carter), and some rivalry from Victor Quartermaine (Ralph Fiennes), a man who believes that the best way to deal with pesky rabbits is just to shoot them all.

Directed by Steve Box and Nick Park, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Mark Burton and Bob Baker, Wallace And Gromit In The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit is, for me, practically perfect in every way. Every scene is so jam-packed with jokes and references to other movies that repeat viewings are essential, but nothing ever detracts from the main events that are put front and centre.

Peter Sallis returns to voice Wallace, a wise decision as the character just wouldn't seem the same with anyone else voicing the part, and he simply IS Wallace. Carter and Fiennes are both a lot of fun in very different ways, and Peter Kay gets to raise a smile or two as PC Mackintosh.

I could praise every single member of the voice cast, and I could quote over a hundred great lines from the script, and I could wax lyrical about the detailing and look of each scene, but that still wouldn't necessarily convey just how much I love this film. Because, as immature as it may seem, even just seeing bunnies floating around while caught in a humane piece of kit that sucks them up into a containment unit is enough to put a huge grin on my face.

It might be slightly cheesy at times, but it's always delightfully crackers.

10/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wallace-Gromit-Were-Rabbit-Special-Edition/dp/B000B83YWM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1400087838&sr=8-1&keywords=wallace+and+gromit+curse+of+the+were+rabbit

Ani-MAY-tion Month: Urotsukidoji: Legend Of The Overfiend (1989)

The '80s, as far as I'm aware, is the decade when people here in the UK REALLY started to take notice of anime. Akira is the title, I think, that really led to an increased interest in the form, but there were other titles that came along to help. Personally, discovering Urotsukidoji: Legend Of The Overfiend as a teenager was quite an eye-opener. Especially as I didn't even know what the word "hentai" meant back then. I'm not sure that many others did either.

Based on comics by Toshio Maeda, this is a film edited from some previous anime episodes, but they're all put together quite seamlessly (as far as I was concerned). It's a tale chock full of demons, big battles, sex, nudity, more sex, tentacles, and all of the stuff that would ensure my attention was held as a teenager. The plot is quite simple - an entity is about to enter Earth that will reunite the different worlds and make everything better - but it's given plenty of twists and turns as characters try to find the entity in time to either help or hinder it.

The vocal work here is okay, but I'm not going to list everyone or single out anyone for praise. Nobody really stands out. It's competent stuff. The animation is, likewise, competent. Crude at times, and many scenes are just far too busy, but it puts onscreen what is needed (well, needed by this particular storyline). Director Hideki Takayama, working from a screenplay by Sho Aikawa, does a good job, and it's impressive that neither writer nor director stayed away from the more extreme aspects of the material.

But the most praised must be given to Maeda, who had the warped and brilliant imagination to come up with the whole thing in the first place. Okay, it's often juvenile stuff (especially in the first half hour), but it's also enjoyably insane, full to the brim with nastiness, and the kind of epic tale that can often only be given justice in comic/animated form. I don't really understand the appeal of hentai, but I do sometimes enjoy demonic beings fighting one another, and plenty of blood 'n' guts. Which this delivers in abundance.

7/10

Pricey, but this seems to be the best option for now - http://www.amazon.com/Urotsukidoji-Perfect-Collection-Hirotaka-Suzuoki/dp/B007Y5OYZ6/ref=sr_1_3?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1399994338&sr=1-3&keywords=urotsukidoji

Ani-MAY-tion Month: Shrek (2001)

The joy of Shrek may have been diluted slightly nowadays, after multiple sequels and spin-offs, but I'm still a fan of most things that feature the big green ogre at the centre of events, and the first film remains the best of the lot.

Based on a book by William Steig, Shrek is, for anyone who doesn't know, all about the titular ogre (voiced by Mike Myers). He likes to live alone in his swamp, but that isolated existence is threatened when a talking donkey (Eddie Murphy) bumps into him while fleeing from armed guards. That isolated existence is threatened even further when numerous fairytale creatures start to fill up his home, due to it being the one safe haven. The nasty Lord Farquaad (John Lithgow) doesn't like fairytale creatures, and has been causing them no end of problems. When Shrek visits Farquaad to sort out getting his swamp back to himself, he ends up being tasked to rescue Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz). If he does that then Farquaad will ensure that the swamp is back to how Shrek likes it.

It took a lot of people to craft this script - including Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, Joe Stillman and Roger S. H. Schulman - but the end result is a wealth of great gags and sly references, as opposed to a bloated mess. The twisted fairytale may be overdone nowadays, but it's rarely been utilised to better effect than it is here, with the whole premise of Prince Charming rescuing the trapped Princess turned gleefully on its head.

Directors Andrew Adamson and Vicky Jenson do a great job of keeping everything perfectly paced and perfectly balanced. There may be a number of audio and visual gags aimed more at adults than the younger viewers, but they stay just the right side of cheeky, and there's never anything done that spoils the experience for the target demographic.

Myers, putting on a sorta-Scottish accent, makes Shrek an ogre that it's fun to hang around with. He's very childish, which obviously makes him appealing to children, and as the movie progresses we get to learn that ogres can be layered (like an onion, but not necessarily like a parfait). Murphy has his best role in years, as the cute, chatterbox Donkey, Diaz is a good match to play Princess Fiona, and Lithgow is a lot of fun as the diminutive Lord Farquaad.

There's a lot in this movie that people could choose to either love or hate - the accent that Myers uses, the standard selection of child-friendly tunes (All Star by Smash Mouth again??), the ending that rounds up some characters for a bit of a song and dance sequence. I loved it when I saw it at the cinema, and I still love it now.

9/10

http://www.amazon.com/Shrek-Whole-Story-Forever-Blu-ray/dp/B0046A9RMC/ref=sr_1_6?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1399983784&sr=1-6&keywords=shrek

Don't forget, every copy of my book sold gets a few pounds in my pocket, and gets you a good read (if I say so myself).

The UK version can be bought here - http://www.amazon.co.uk/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1395945647&sr=1-3&keywords=movie+guide

And American folks can buy it here - http://www.amazon.com/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395945752&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=TJs+ramshackle+mov

As much as I love the rest of the world, I can't keep up with all of the different links in different territories, but trust me when I say that it should be there on your local Amazon.

Ani-MAY-tion Month: The Simpsons Movie (2007)

I have been a fan of The Simpsons for years. In fact, the show has had a large fanbase since it peaked in the mid-nineties and made its way into the public consciousness and made such a huge impact on recent pop culture. When the movie was finally released I, and many others, felt that it was coming along too late. The show had started to dip in quality, a dip that would last a number of years (and some might say it has never recovered), and it wasn't quite the non-stop source of hilarity it used to be. I was disappointed when I came out of the cinema in 2007, having just seen the movie. Now, watching the movie again, I have no idea why.

There are two things worth remembering, I think. One, The Simpsons remains one of the best shows on TV ever, even when it's not hitting the heights it once reached. Two, The Simpsons Movie is just about the best TV to film transition that any fan of the show could have hoped for. Everything is kept the same, but it's all given a bit of scope and polish to make it worthy of a feature film.

I'm not going to tell you about the characters. Anyone who doesn't know the Simpson family probably doesn't read this blog. But the plot is all about pollution bringing about some major trouble in Springfield. There's a dome placed over the entire area, and the residents are left to their own devices as resources run low and tempers start to run high. Homer is the man who caused this situation, in his usual carefree manner, but he might just be the man who can fix it all.

Everyone involved in the TV show gets to shine in the movie version, which is as it should be. Nobody would want a movie that didn't have Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Yeardley Smith, Nancy Cartwright, Harry Shearer and Hank Azaria involved. And there are some great vocal cameos from Green Day, Tom Hanks and others, with a fantastic role for Albert Brooks (as Russ Cargill, the man with a plan to "clean up" Springfield).

Director David Silverman does a fantastic job of keeping everything both cinema-worthy and in line with the show, while the wealth of writers who contributed to the script have all helped to craft something worthwhile. Normally seeing so many writers listed would be cause for alarm, but The Simpsons has always used a huge team of writers, so it's no surprise to see so many of them working on the movie.

There are things that fans will wish had been changed, and one of the most common complaints is how some of the major supporting characters are sidelined, but I can't really envision a better outcome than this. The storyline is decent, the gags are great, the characters are unchanged, no punches seem to be pulled, and there's a ridiculous sequence in which Bart skateboards through the town absolutely naked that is as smart as it is cheeky and hilarious. And those last eight words sum up why I'll never stop loving The Simpsons.

9/10

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Ani-MAY-tion Month: Beavis And Butt-Head Do America (1996)

I was never a fan of Beavis and Butt-Head. I have to start off this review with that confession. I'm still not a fan of their TV work, but that's because I have never gone back to give them another chance. I watched some clips years ago when MTV was still a bit of a novelty to us here in the UK (well, still a bit of a novelty to me, at least) and I just didn't find them that amusing. I'd rather watch the music videos that were featured on their show without any surrounding distractions. When this movie came out I had no interest in it at all. Then I started to hear some good word on it. And then some more, and some more. It seemed to be winning over even people, like myself, who didn't expect to enjoy it. So I took a chance and bought it. Thankfully, I ended up really enjoying it.

The story starts with our two main characters (both voiced by Mike Judge, who also directed and wrote the movie, with help from a few others) at a loss when their TV is stolen. On a quest for a replacement TV, they end up in the same motel room as Muddy Grimes (Bruce Willis), a man waiting for the strangers that he has hired to kill his wife. Misunderstanding the request, Beavis and Butt-Head are only too eager to accept the opportunity to "do" Dallas Grimes (Demi Moore). They immediately embark on a trip across America, and it's not long until the authorities are hot on their tail.

It might seem like Mike Judge is a one-man band at times, but he's helped here by Mike de Seve, Brian Mulroney and Yvette Kaplan in the directing department, and Joe Stillman and Brian Mulroney (again) helped with the script. That may explain why this movie is so enjoyable, but it may also be the case that Judge does better in the feature film context. Having enjoyed Office Space, Idiocracy and Extract, I suspect it may be the latter.

The main characters here are still as stupid and immature as they've always been. Judge is sensible not to change them too much, but the many supporting characters add a lot of humour. Cloris Leachman is a sweet old woman, unaware of the mindset of the young men who keep ending up beside her as they head towards the same destination, Robert Stack is a stern and determined ATF agent, and Eric Bogosian also provides a few different voices.

The animation style is in line with the TV show, the soundtrack has some great rock tracks on there (as well as the beautiful ballad, "Lesbian Seagull"), and there are a lot of laughs to be had as our two juvenile, horny teenagers wander around in a state of blissful ignorance while dangerous situations develop around them.

And I'll admit it, I crack up every time that Beavis has an identity crisis and starts to refer to himself as The Great Cornholio. It's not big, it's not clever, but it's damn funny.

8/10

http://www.amazon.com/Beavis-Butt-Head-Do-America-Various/dp/B00BTYIHY2/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1399587887&sr=8-2&keywords=beavis+and+butthead+do+america

Ani-MAY-tion Month: The Little Mermaid (1989)

For anyone who doesn't know, The Little Mermaid is all about Ariel (Jodi Benson), a mermaid daughter of Triton (Kenneth Mars). Ariel may live under the sea, but she spends most of her time scavenging for items that have been lost to the deep waters by the humans above. When she sees, and falls in love with, a handsome man named Eric (Christopher Daniel Barnes) she wants to be able to go on land and spend some time with him. The tricky Ursula (Pat Carroll) can make that happen. She transforms Ariel's tail into legs in exchange for one thing - her voice. Ariel then has three days to get Eric to kiss her, or she'll be stuck in a very bad situation indeed.

A fantastic outing from Disney, based on a tale by Hans Christian Andersen, The Little Mermaid is the studio doing what it does best. The animation is delightful, the characters are pretty great (with a crab named Sebastian - voiced by Samuel E. Wright - stealing a couple of scenes), the songs are all quite enjoyable, and it teaches younger viewers not to . . . . . . give up their own voices for the sake of love, or something like that. I may be joking, or I may not.

The voice cast all do well, with other noteworthy performances coming from Buddy Hackett and Jason Marin as, respectively, a seagull named Scuttle and a little fish named Flounder, and it helps that Ariel is one of the best female Disney leads in decades, although older viewers may be a bit miffed by just how quickly she falls head over heels in love and is willing to do whatever it takes to be with the dashing Eric.

Ron Clements and John Musker are the men who get to take most of the credit, as the directors and main writers of the thing, but this is really a team effort. Alan Menken and Howard Ashman handle the music and lyrics, a veritable smorgasbord of animators handle the visuals, and there's every other department to consider. That is, of course, the case with every movie, but The Little Mermaid gets so much right in every way that it's really worth trying to give everyone equal praise.

Despite my love for the movie, it's not perfect. There's at least one song that I thought fell a bit flat, and the final act is strangely anticlimactic. In fact, it all feels quite rushed and ill-conceived, which is a great shame. Its not enough to drag the movie down too far, but it is enough to stop it from being in the very top tier of Disney movies. It does, however, still come close.

8/10

http://www.amazon.com/Little-Mermaid-Diamond-Jodi-Benson/dp/B00C7607FS/ref=sr_1_3?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1399734188&sr=1-3&keywords=the+little+mermaid

Ani-MAY-tion Month: The Hobbit (1977)

Having enjoyed a lot of the stop-motion work from Arthur Rankin Jr and Jules Bass, I was delighted when I found out that they'd given people an adaptation of The Hobbit back in the 1970s. Unfortunately, that delight started to ebb away not too far into the movie.

The tale will already be familiar to many, either from the book or from the oversized Peter Jackson take on the material. Bilbo Baggins (voiced by Orson Bean) is a hobbit, and his life is changed forever when a wizard named Gandalf (John Huston) comes to his door and teams him up with a group of dwarves who are on a quest to retrieve some treasure from a mighty dragon named Smaug (Richard Boone).

There are some great names attached to this vocal cast. As well as Huston, viewers are treated to the voices of Otto Preminger and Hans Conried. Unfortunately, no collection of names could make up for the lacklustre animation and the poor script, by Romeo Muller. With a story this great, there's really no excuse for such a clumsy adaptation. Yes, there are some direct quotes lifted from the book, but that doesn't make up for the many other changes that crop up in almost every scene. I understand that this was aimed at a young audience, so simplifying/sanitising certain plot points is something I could understand. The unnecessary change, however, to that enjoyable moment when Gandalf has to help stop some trolls from eating the travelling group is one shining example of a bad decision made without any good reason. But watch the film and you will see many others.

I'll admit that I was also disappointed as soon as I saw that this wasn't a stop-motion affair. That is, after all, how I came to know Rankin/Bass, it's a trademark of their most enduring works. My disappointment could have been tempered by fine artwork made with hard work and a lot of heart, but this is quite an ugly piece of work. Yes, it's a TV movie, but it doesn't need to feel like one. And a cheap one, at that.

The good news is that most of the big scenes are included. Those trolls at least provide a threat, goblins also cause some trouble, Gollum takes on Bilbo in a battle of riddles, big spiders go around being all horribly eight-legged and . . . . . . .  far too big, and there's the mighty Smaug himself, of course. Whatever the presentation, these moments are always a treat to watch and that is why the film stays below average, without being completely unwatchable.

As much as I hate to say it, this is one Rankin Bass outing that just isn't worth bothering with. If you do give it your time then you can try to enjoy it, but deep down you might just start thinking about how you could have been rewatching Mad Monster Party.

4/10

Buy this DVD at your own risk, it's had mixed reviews (to put it nicely) - http://www.amazon.com/The-Hobbit-Orson-Bean/dp/B00005MP59/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1399077782&sr=8-1&keywords=the+hobbit+1977

Don't forget, every copy of my book sold gets a few pounds in my pocket, and gets you a good read (if I say so myself).

The UK version can be bought here - http://www.amazon.co.uk/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1395945647&sr=1-3&keywords=movie+guide

And American folks can buy it here - http://www.amazon.com/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395945752&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=TJs+ramshackle+mov

As much as I love the rest of the world, I can't keep up with all of the different links in different territories, but trust me when I say that it should be there on your local Amazon.

Ani-MAY-tion Month: Top Cat: The Movie (2011)

If you remember the original cartoon, and if you can still sing along with the theme song, then you should do yourself a favour and avoid Top Cat: The Movie. It's a stinker.

The plot concerns T.C. (voiced by Jason Harris) being framed for a crime he didn't commit and then being thrown into Dog Jail. The gang are at a bit of a loss without him, while Officer Dibble (Bill Lobley) is busy being mistreated by his new boss, Lou Strickland (Rob Schneider). Oh, and Strickland has also replaced the rest of the police force with robots, thinking that they can't be fooled. That may change if/when T.C. gets out of jail.

It's a running gag for many people that I am too kind in my movie reviews/ratings, and there's often some truth to that. I can be easily pleased, and I always try to look for the good in any project, especially anything made with more heart than technical nous. Top Cat: The Movie is a soulless, soul-sapping, lazy, horrible film. And that's me being kind. It's saved by the lowest score possible by a small degree of competence that I had to grudgingly acknowledge, but only just.

The animation is sub-par and quite ugly at times, which would be okay if it was ironically emulating the occasional crude style of the old TV show, but it isn't. It's also just feels cobbled together. For example, look at the scene with T.C. and his cohorts trying to get into a concert that has been sold out. Sold Out. It's stated quite clearly. Yet, moments later, when the gang are all inside, viewers can see a theatre that is quite clearly almost empty. Okay, that's not something that the youngest viewers will note, but there's no excuse for so little effort being made.

The script, in line with everything else, does the bare minimum - broadly sketching out the characters and lighting up each plot point like a neon sign - but it does it all with no sense of fun. Just because something is aimed at younger viewers doesn't mean that it can't contain some interesting developments for them.

The only good points I can mention are the vocal performances (which aren't great, but at least try to repeat the familiar tones of the characters from how people will remember them) and that small degree of competence that allows the whole thing to play out as a feature from start to finish, with a proper beginning, middle, and end.

One to avoid if at all possible. To use a potential innuendo: Top Cat hits bottom!

2/10

http://www.amazon.com/Top-Cat-Rob-Schneider/dp/B00DBPBQ72/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1399502381&sr=8-5&keywords=top+cat

Ani-MAY-tion Month: The Black Cauldron (1985)

Often cited as a low point for Disney, I am not going to beat about the bush with this review. I absolutely agree with the majority. This is a big disappointment. More than that, it's just a bit too bizarre to have come from the house of mouse (and, don't get me wrong, I LIKED some of the bizarre elements).

The black cauldron is an evil receptacle that would allow someone to raise an army of the dead. Someone like, ohhhhh, The Horned King (John Hurt). But, thankfully, The Horned King doesn't know where the cauldron is. Nobody really does. Apart from a cute little pig that can be put into a trance, allowing it to display a talent for second sight not often seen in porcine individuals. That little pig is to be looked after by Taran (Grant Bardsley), a young man who dreams of one day being a hero and of seeing more excitement than anything he has experienced in his life so far. So, being a bit of a moron, Taran loses the pig within minutes, ends up almost hand-delivering the creature to The Horned King and soon has to seek out the black cauldron before it falls into the wrong hands.

Based on work by Lloyd Alexander, it's hard to know whether the fault for the poor material onscreen lies with the source material or the people who had a hand in adapting it for the screen. Well, anyone who has read the any of the books will know, but I am sadly unfamiliar with them. I do, however, trust more in one author taking care with their creation than the dozen or so people that it took to put this script together. Considering the final result, it certainly seems as if too many cooks well and truly spoiled the broth this time around. And then poured the broth all over the animated cells. And then urinated on them.

Directors Ted Berman and Richard Rich don't seem to have done anything to improve the situation. The sub-par animation drags viewers along from one disparate scene to another, with the whole movie lacking any kind of fluidity whatsoever. It doesn't help that a little creature called Gurgi puts itself forward for consideration as the most irritating Disney "sidekick" of all time. He may not be in it for the whole runtime, which is a small mercy, but he's in it enough to make you hate him. Which makes any moment when you're supposed to care about him completely ineffective.

The cast providing the voices are perfectly fine. As well as Hurt and Bardsley, we get Susan Sheridan as Eilonwy, Freddie Jones as Dallben, and Nigel Hawthorne as Fflewddur Fflam. Yes, even the names of the characters are quite irritating, especially when you have to spell them correctly while writing out a review. I would explain who these characters are, but it doesn't seem worth it. Nothing about The Black Cauldron really feels like an actual film. It's more like a selection of deleted scenes that have been stitched together to create the semblance of a feature.

Having listed numerous complaints here, I must just finish by saying that this isn't an unwatchable movie, as surprising as that may seem. No, it's just a very poor one. There are some nice animated moments here and there, and a scene in which Taran and his companions meet three witches is amusing enough, mainly due to one witch blurting out a couple of innuendos and comments that seem out of place in an animated Disney movie from this time.

As with any Disney movie, this one has its fans. I'm just not one of them.

4/10

http://www.amazon.com/The-Black-Cauldron-Anniversary-Special/dp/B003RACGZM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1398912670&sr=8-1&keywords=the+black+cauldron

Ani-MAY-tion Month: Hoodwinked Too! Hood Vs. Evil (2011)

Although I didn't love it, I was one of the few people who quite liked Hoodwinked! So I thought the sequel might be okay. I was wrong. Oh, it's full of minor chuckles, and the voice of Patrick Warburton is always a plus for any piece of animation, but it's vastly inferior when compared to many other releases from the past few years.

The story this time around sees Red Riding Hood (voiced this time by Hayden Panettiere) and The Big Bad Wolf (Warburton) working together to rescue the kidnapped Granny Puckett (Glenn Close). It turns out that she's in the clutches of the same witch (Joan Cusack) who has Hansel and Gretel (voiced by Bill Hader and Amy Poehler).

There are plenty of cute characters here for kids to enjoy, and plenty of jokes either directly or indirectly alluding to famous fairytales, and that's all well and good. But even the younger viewers might realise that they're being short-changed by the ugly, clunky animation onscreen. And adults hoping to find the experience relatively painless? Well, okay, it IS relatively painless, but it's also below average from start to finish. Perhaps the laziness is best summed up by a scene that parodies The Silence Of The Lambs - a film made over twenty years ago that youngsters won't necessarily know about and adults will consider irrelevant within this context.

Anne Hathaway, wisely, skipped out after her stint in the first movie, so Red Riding Hood is voiced this time around by Hayden Panettiere. As mentioned above, Close and Warburton both return to their roles, as do Cory Edwards, Andy Dick and David Ogden Stiers. Martin Short takes over as Kirk the Woodsman (a role played by James Belushi in the first movie), but most of the fun comes from Hader and Poehler. Cusack isn't given as much to do, but she's as good as ever.

Director Mike Disa doesn't seem to care too much about the whole thing. The fact that he helped create the screenplay, along with about four other people, means that he can get most of the blame for the finished product.

Feeling more like a loosely connected series of puns and gags, as opposed to a cohesive feature film, Hoodwinked Too! Hood Vs. Evil isn't one to actively seek out. It's not that it's a terrible film. It's just not half as much fun as it could/should be.

4/10

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Ani-MAY-tion Month: Spirited Away (2001)

The name Hayao Miyazaki is one familiar to many fans of animation. The man has been delivering great works of art for years and years now, and is most famous for My Neighbour Totoro and this one, the film that seemed to win him an even wider audience (in my experience). It was certainly the film that introduced me to his magical universe, and it remains my favourite from Studio Ghibli.

The story is all about young Chihiro (voiced by Rumi Hiiragi) struggling to survive in a world of spirits and fantastical beings. She's out to rescue her parents, you see, because they were turned into pigs after eating food from a stall in an abandoned theme park. In order to get them back to their human state, and get them back out of the spirit world, Chihiro must work hard in a bath house, and must never EVER forget her real name. She is helped by a young man named Haku (Miyu Irino), but there's a harsh witch named Yubaba (Mari Natsuki) who will do her best to make sure that Chihiro fails in her quest.

As inventive, gorgeous and magical as any other Miyazaki movie, Spirited Away once again mixes some dark themes and moments with a child-friendly selection of oddities in a way that shows how attuned the director is to his audience. There's a lot here that seems scary and dangerous, but it's always offset by either the bravery of Chihiro or the cute cast of supporting characters.

The vocal cast all do a great job, but they're lucky to be accompanying some absolutely gorgeous visuals, even by the standards of Studio Ghibli. The bath house, which provides the setting for most of the movie, is lovingly detailed, but then there are the other locations, including the bridge and steep stairway that provides one way to enter the bath house (I know, I know, it doesn't sound worth mentioning, but it really is), that are all just as wonderful to look at. The characters range from the fairly solid and normal Chihiro to the multi-limbed Kamaji (who supplies the work area above him with the hot water that they need), and from the sweet little "black soots" to the large, and sometimes scary, "No Face". Each and every one is memorable and created with great care.

I always feel inadequate when discussing the works of Hayao Miyazaki. There are only so many ways I can try to praise him enough without resorting to displaying a selection of screenshots from any movie that he's involved with. All of his films are made with heart, they all allow for fantastical adventures throughout a cinematic landscape steeped in rich history and culture, and almost every frame could be hung up as a work of art (as cliched as that statement is by now).

While I have never been accused of being the most mature individual in any room, this film really takes me back to the state of mind that I had throughout my childhood - wonder at the world around me, fear and joy as new discoveries came into my life, and a naive belief that everyone in the world had good in their heart. It's good to recapture those feelings, and it's something that Miyazaki often does with astonishing ease.

9/10

http://www.amazon.com/Spirited-Away-Hayao-Miyazaki/dp/B00005JLEU/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1399399704&sr=1-1&keywords=spirited+away+blu

Ani-MAY-tion Month: Turbo (2013)

After being unexpectedly entertained by The Croods, I now have to say that Turbo is another film ignored by many that I'll be highly recommending to lovers of fun animated movies. Both came from DreamWorks Animation, both feature Ryan Reynolds in a main role, and both were unfairly (in my view) dismissed last year. The Croods actually managed to do decent box office, so I guess I just missed out on any of the positive comments made about it, but Turbo didn't do that well at all, despite being just as good.

Theo (voiced by Reynolds) is a little snail who dreams of big things, hence the name that he gives to himself - Turbo. He wants to be fast, he wants more to his life than just helping to deal with over-ripe tomatoes. His brother, Chet (Paul Giamatti), just wants them to stay safe and do their part alongside the other snails. While looking out over a motorway, Theo ends up blown away from his sightseeing position by a passing vehicle. He passes through a motor, somehow surviving as he is moved through the engine. Once out the other side, Theo heads home and soon finds that the experience has changed him. He's a snail transformed, and might just have enough speed under his shell to achieve his dream - a shot at the Indy 500.

With a fantastic cast lending their voices to the characters, and some gorgeous CG animation, Turbo is always doing enough to keep people entertained, at the very least. There aren't any surprises, there rarely are in animated movies aimed at kids, but a lot of the gags work and the whole thing has a sweetness to it that shows how much it aims to please without tipping all the way over into saccharin territory.

Reynolds has a voice that lends itself well to animated characters, and Giamatti is always recognisable, but Luis Guzman and Michael Pena also do well in their roles, Bill Hader is a lot of fun as Guy Gagne (the champion driver who views Turbo as an amusing trier, as opposed to any real competition), and Samuel L. Jackson, Snoop Dogg, Maya Rudolph, Ben Schwartz and Mike Bell are all entertaining snails who feel the need for speed. Ken Jeong, Michelle Rodriguez and Richard Jenkins also pop up, as well as Kurtwood Smith and even racing superstar Mario Andretti.

Director David Soren (who co-wrote the screenplay with Darren Lemke and Robert D. Siegel) does a great job of mixing the fun with the heart. I seem to be in the minority of people who really like it, but I hope that others give it a chance. If I can convince just one person to watch it, and if that person ends up liking it almost as much as I did, then my work here is done.

8/10

http://www.amazon.com/Turbo-Blu-ray-DVD-Combo-Pack/dp/B00E00P5JC/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1398291394&sr=1-1&keywords=turbo

Ani-MAY-tion Month: South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut (1999)

South Park. Everyone knows about it by now, don't they? The lo-fi animated show created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone that became a huge success. Anyone who has seen 6 Days To Air: The Making Of South Park already knows the energy and creativity it takes to make each episode of the show, but adapting it into a decent feature movie should bring all new challenges and problems. Or, at least, that would be the general consensus. But nobody ever told Parker and Stone the rules, which is why they consistently manage to break them, and do so with no small amount of success.

The plot of the South Park movie sees Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny all sneaking their way in to see the new Terrance and Phillip movie, Asses Of Fire. The movie is a non-stop parade of flatulence and profanity, with one or two great musical numbers in the mix. The boys are, understandably, very impressed. They're also very impressionable, and it's not long until all of the kids are using language that upsets all of the adults. Keen to find a way to solve the problem, the parents, led by the militant Sheila Broflovski, settle on a course of action that should please everyone with a sense of decency. They blame Canada. Unfortunately, that could lead to World War III, and an opportunity for Satan to come up from Hell and rule over an apocalyptic landscape. Maybe the naughty language wasn't so bad after all.

The great thing about Parker and Stone is the way they can take pot shots at everyone and everything while still keeping their eye very much on a main target. On this occasion, the target is reactionary measures taken by people desperate for something to be angry with.
As the adults all sing at the end of the "Blame Canada" song: "We must blame them and cause a fuss, before somebody thinks of blaming us!"

There are some fun celebrity vocal cameos, but otherwise this is business as usual for the two South Park guys as they provide their usual crowd of voices. I don't know much that worked against them during the big musical numbers, but it doesn't seem to have done any harm. In fact, the musical numbers are SO good that this movie allowed Parker and Stone to pop along to the Oscars, in a memorable night that provided some great images easily available with a little searching (seriously, look them up).

Profane, hilarious, full of great musical numbers (including the main hit from Terrance and Phillip), smart, and brilliantly developing South Park for the big screen without ever losing its essence. I highly recommend South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut. But not for the kids.

9/10

http://www.amazon.com/South-Park-Bigger-Longer-Blu-ray/dp/B00AEBB8TM/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1398209785&sr=8-2&keywords=south+park+bigger+longer+and+uncut

And if any ONE person ever clicks on this link and buys this stash of South Park madness then I will be very grateful - http://www.amazon.com/South-Park-Complete-Seasons-1-15/dp/B008DI03T4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1398209840&sr=8-1&keywords=south+park+box+set

Don't forget, every copy of my book sold gets a few pounds in my pocket, and gets you a good read (if I say so myself).

The UK version can be bought here - http://www.amazon.co.uk/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1395945647&sr=1-3&keywords=movie+guide

And American folks can buy it here - http://www.amazon.com/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395945752&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=TJs+ramshackle+mov

As much as I love the rest of the world, I can't keep up with all of the different links in different territories, but trust me when I say that it should be there on your local Amazon.

Ani-MAY-tion Month: Tangled (2010)

For their 50th animated feature, Disney decided to turn to the classic tale of Rapunzel, shaking it up a bit to create a beautiful, funny adventure that ranks up there with some of their best work.

Rapunzel (voiced by Mandy Moore) is resigned to her life in the tower. Whenever she pleads to go out and see the big, wide world her "mother" (Donna Murphy) manages to convince her that it's no good. But opportunity comes her way when a charming rogue named Flynn (Zachary Levi) seeks temporary safety in the tower. Flynn is forced into agreeing to take Rapunzel out into the world, letting her see the lights that fly in the sky, every year on her birthday. Little does she know that the floating lanterns, for that is what they are, get released every year by her real mother and father, who are royalty, as well as the subjects that they rule over.

Perfectly mixing the traditional with the modern, in terms of both animation and also the characters, Tangled is yet another in a recent run of near-perfect Disney hits. All of the expected elements are in place - the anthropomorphic animal (a scene-stealing horse named Maximus, in this instance, but there's also a very cute chameleon raising smiles), the beautiful princess, the wicked crone, the moral lessons - but they somehow manage to avoid feeling stale. I think that's due, in some small part, to the way in which everything is portrayed in a fairytale age gone by, while also being injected with some modern sensibilities. Disney isn't reinventing the wheel here, but in recent years they've managed to embrace a sense of fun again, a real exuberance that has been elevating their work.

Directors Nathan Greno and Byron Howard have a great script, by Dan Fogelman, to work from, and they keep a nice balance between the sweet, more Disney-esque, moments and the sequences that embrace an enjoyable irreverence. The musical moments, by Alan Menken, also help a lot in this regard, with "Mother Knows Best" and "I've Got A Dream" being the two highlights.

While the vocal cast isn't exactly full of people who are immediately identifiable from their speech, everyone does well in their respective role. Moore, Murphy and Levi are all a pretty perfect match for their characters, while Ron Perlman, M. C. Gainey, Jeffrey Tambor, Brad Garrett and Richard "Jaws" Kiel also lend their talents to the mix.

It's maybe not quite as good as absolute classic Disney fare (although keep an eye out for both Pinocchio and Pumbaa in sneaky, fleeting cameos), but it's pretty great nonetheless. Let your hair down and give it a go. Yes, I just ended with that pun.

8/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tangled-Blu-ray-DVD-Mandy-Moore/dp/B004E10JD4/ref=sr_1_4?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1397497711&sr=1-4&keywords=tangled

Ani-MAY-tion Month: Despicable Me (2010)

Steve Carell is the voice of Gru in this slick, enjoyable animated feature. Gru is a criminal mastermind. In fact, he likes to think of himself as the number one criminal mastermind in the whole world, despite the constant put-downs from his mother (Julie Andrews), but his status is threatened when he finds himself being overshadowed by young Vector (Jason Segel). Gru may have his minions, and a great scientist named Dr. Nefario (Russell Brand), but he needs something more to get one over on his new nemesis. He needs . . . . . . . . . . children.

Directed by Pierre Coffin and Chris Renaud, there's a lot to enjoy in Despicable Me, thanks to the fun premise. Featuring two main villains who revel in their villainy, and a whole host of minions to win over younger viewers (if you don't know what a minion looks by now then you haven't been near any kids in the past couple of years), this is something that will easily entertain most family members. The voice cast is good, with Kristen Wiig and Will Arnett joining in with the fun, and the animation is smooth and full of interesting design choices.

Having said that, the film falls into many of the same traps that almost every other animated movie falls into nowadays. There are one or two obligatory moments just to placate anyone who paid more to see it in 3D, there's a bit of music and dancing at the very end (did Shrek start that trend, or does it just feel like it?), and there is an extra sweetness to the second half that was refreshingly minimal in the first half. Okay, okay, the last part isn't that bad, especially as viewers root for the three little orphan girls that Gru takes into his home to help him with his latest nefarious scheme.

It's not the most sophisticated movie, with many of the characters (okay, mainly the minions) acting just like naughty children, but that's not the worst crime ever. The script by Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio never quite hits its stride, but it gets some bonus points for the following reasons. One, the minions ARE funny, with their constant strange babblings and seeming inability to take anything seriously. Two, the scenes showing Gru adjusting to life as a parent are also very entertaining. Three, for anything that the movie lacks, it at least includes a Piranha Gun. YES!!! Sophistication be damned.

It's not the best from the many animated movies released in the last few years, but I think it's still a lot of fun. And it should certainly keep the kids happy, which is kinda the whole point.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Despicable-Me-Blu-ray-UV-Copy/dp/B00E9SUTHI/ref=sr_1_2?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1397284641&sr=1-2&keywords=despicable+me+box+set

Ani-MAY-tion Month: The Croods (2013)

There was nothing that appealed to me when I saw the trailer for The Croods. It looked okay, I guess, but it also looked quite bland and unfunny. In fact, had it not appeared on Netflix (ahhhh, thank you Netflix) I probably wouldn't have given it a look for some time. But it did appear on Netflix. And I thought I should at least give it a try.

Well, within the first 10 minutes I was glad that I'd decided to give the movie a chance.

The Croods was definitely sold short. It's not up there with the very best animated movies that I've seen in recent years, but that's simply because the best animated movies nowadays are SO good. Thankfully, this film is very enjoyable, and also benefits from visuals that cram in so much colour and detail that even the more ridiculous onscreen moments can appear photo-realistic at times.

The story concerns a prehistoric family who live in a cave for most of their time. This is because the father (Nicolas Cage) wants them all to be safe, even if it means that they're not too happy. The unhappiest member of the family is Eep (Emma Stone), a young girl who wants to get out there and explore the world. Well, she gets her wish when she meets Guy (Ryan Reynolds) just as some major environmental changes force the family out of their cave and wayyyyyyyy out of their comfort zone.

Building the comedy from the cast of characters and situations they find themselves in, as opposed to a load of pop culture references and one-liners, The Croods is good fun for the whole family that doesn't always take the easy option. Oh, okay, it DOES often take the easy option, but not without an enjoyable feint in a different direction before getting back on track.

Directors Chris Sanders and Kirk De Micco, who developed the screenplay from a story they worked on with John Cleese (yes, John Cleese), have done a great job, balancing spectacle with humour and heart. There are times when The Croods becomes *shock, horror* slightly mawkish, but it's always just the right level of sweet without becoming sickening.

That balance is helped by the vocal cast, who all seem to have a lot of fun. Cage should really do more work like this. His voice is instantly recognisable, but his character gets away from his usual tics and twitches thanks to the fact that it's delivered by animators. Stone is very enjoyable as the little girl wanting to grow up and strike out, Reynolds is good as the young man showing people a way to potential safety, and Cloris Leachman and Clark Duke both provide some chuckles as, respectively, Gran and Lunk. Catherine Keener has the most thankless role, as the mother/voice of reason, but she's just fine in the role.

I've not heard many people discuss The Croods, although it appears to have done well enough at the box office to get a sequel greenlit, but I hope that its reputation starts to grow. As surprised as I am to be saying it, this may very well be the second-best American animated movie of 2013 (with the top spot held by the brilliant Monsters University).

8/10

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Ani-MAY-tion Month: Paprika (2006)

Uh oh, how do I begin to write a review of Paprika? Well, I think that it's best to start off by explaining that this little review on this little blog couldn't possibly begin to do it justice. Oh, I'll try, but I think it will be best for everyone concerned if expectations are kept low. In fact, that's a general rule of thumb when reading anything that I write.

The next thing I will mention is that a LOT of people throw this film in the faces of people who were bowled over by Inception. The two films are remarkably similiar, I'll admit. Anyone can see that. But it's not the first time that we've had movies released within years of each other that have been remarkably similiar, and I'm willing to give Christopher Nolan the benefit of the doubt here, especially as Inception was pitched, apparently, after the completion of Memento. So there will be no more Nolan chat here.

Director Satoshi Kon, who also wrote the script with Seishi Minakami (based on the novel by Yasutaka Tsutsui), presents viewers with a world of dreams. Bright, lively, thrilling dreams. These dreams are being manipulated by a device called the DC Mini, which can help people by manipulating their dreams to, hopefully, cure physical ailments. Unfortunately, when that device is stolen it looks like only a matter of time before dreams and reality bleed together in a way that will leave most people vulnerable and unable to figure out their own realities. It's up to one doctor, and her dream incarnation (Paprika), to help put a stop to things before it all becomes impossible to fix.

Now you see why I wrote what I wrote in that first paragraph. The brief description that I've just supplied for this movie doesn't even begin to give people an idea of the real constant sense of wonder that Paprika provides. I've not even mentioned any of the other characters, who sometimes help and sometimes hinder Paprika, with the best one being a detective who is being helped through dream therapy, and who ends up using some of the information gleaned to help out during the unfolding crisis.

The voice actors - including Megumi Hayashibara, Akio Otsuka, Toro Furuya and numerous others - all do a great job, but Paprika is all about those astounding visuals, and the wealth of dream imagery in almost every sequence. The fact that it provides such a great visualisation of dreams while also providing a coherent, though densely layered, narrative is very impressive indeed.

This is one of those films that you really should watch before reading to the end of this review. Not because this review has spoiled anything. Nope. Because the film is THAT good.

9/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Paprika-Blu-ray-Region-Free-Satoshi/dp/B0011FTQ6M/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1390863130&sr=1-1&keywords=paprika

Don't forget, every copy of my book sold gets a few pounds in my pocket, and gets you a good read (if I say so myself).

The UK version can be bought here - http://www.amazon.co.uk/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1395945647&sr=1-3&keywords=movie+guide

And American folks can buy it here - http://www.amazon.com/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395945752&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=TJs+ramshackle+mov

As much as I love the rest of the world, I can't keep up with all of the different links in different territories, but trust me when I say that it should be there on your local Amazon.

April Fools: Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994)

At the time of writing, this is the last movie in The Naked Gun franchise. Ed Helms is being lined up to take over the main role, apparently, but it's hard to think of anyone being able to make the role their own after such fine work from the late, great Leslie Nielsen.

In this absurd adventre, Frank Drebin (Nielsen) has retired from the police force. He's happily married to Jane (Priscilla Presley) but misses being able to legally shoot people in the street. The fact that Jane wants to start a family also causes him some stress, something that he escapes when Ed (George Kennedy) and Nordberg (O. J. Simpson) call on him for help. They want Frank to go undercover, to get close to a criminal named Rocco (Fred Ward), and to find out about whatever bad, explosive plans he has in store.

All of the main players are as good as they have been in the previous movies, and Fred Ward is a lot of fun as Rocco. Kathleen Freeman is also very good as Rocco's mother, Muriel, but the good work by everyone else is almost undone by Anna Nicole Smith, playing Rocco's gal, Tanya. She's not quite as bad as some people would have you believe, but . . . . . . . . . . she's . . . . . . not good, and is easily the worst performer onscreen.

With Peter Segal taking over the directorial duties this time around, there's definitely something lacking from this third trip to the well. Perhaps it's just the law of diminishing returns, or familiarity breeding contempt, because there are still a number of great gags packed into the script (written by David Zucker, Pat Proft and Robert LoCash). The opening sequence, in particular, is a doozy. In fact, maybe the rest of the film simply suffers in comparison to that great comic riff on The Untouchables. The finale, taking place at the Academy Awards ceremony, may feel a bit tired and desperate, but it's hard to judge the movie too harshly when it comes as the capper to so many laughs and fun moments.

I can't imagine any fans of this type of humour hating this film, but a sense of disappointment may well outweigh a lot of the good feeling. I still like this, I just like it less than the first two movies. But those first two movies, to be fair, were SO good.

6/10

http://www.amazon.com/Film-Favorites-Nielsen-Wrongfully-Accused/dp/B00AMSQBUI/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1398040171&sr=8-2&keywords=naked+gun

April Fools: The Parole Officer (2001)

While it wasn't his first movie role, The Parole Officer was certainly the first movie with Steve Coogan in it that tried to sell him as the main draw. It tends to be forgotten now, thanks to the large body of work that Coogan has built up, both on the big screen and back in TV land, but I think it remains a fantastic British comedy, very much an updated "little man against the odds" romp that brings to mind some of the Ealing Studios classics.

Coogan is the main character, a probation officer named Simon Garden who ends up witnessing a man murdered at the hands of the corrupt Inspector Burton (Stephen Dillane). The only proof that could take the heat off Simon, who is being set up with some incriminating evidence, and show that the Inspector actually did it, is a videotape. Unfortunately, that tape has been locked away in a secure bank vault. Simon rounds up a few people that he has helped in the past and tries to convince them that if they help him commit this robbery then they are, in fact, doing a very good deed.

It may never hit the comedy heights that some might want to see from Coogan, but The Parole Officer is a solid provider of chuckles from start to finish. The script, written by Coogan and Henry Normal, is based more around the characters than one-liners, but that's perfectly fine when the characters are so much fun.

Coogan's character isn't just another Alan Partridge, but there is a shade of him in there, as Simon Garden also lacks self-awareness, at times, and can be similarly awkward. The character does provide laughs, but he's often more of a straight man to the motley crew he assembles to help him in his crime, four people played by Om Puri, Steven Waddington, Ben Miller and Emma Williams - all on fine form as the rehabilitated criminals with the skills to help Simon in his task. Dillane is a very good baddie, and the lovely Lena Headey is as lovely as ever, playing a police officer and potential love interest. There are also a couple of nice cameos from Jenny Agutter and Omar Sharif to add to the fun.

Director John Duigan keeps things moving along nicely, moving between moments of banter between the would-be robbers, some tension, and then some more of the grand robbery scheme, with plenty of comedy puncturing everything. It's all done in a very genteel style, at times, but there are still one or two moments of crudity (and, they may be crude but they ARE funny), with the end result being a very satisfying mix of verbal wit, sight gags and, well, a bit of vomit.

It might not become a firm favourite, and you might never revisit it, but I think The Parole Officer is a very good film, so I'll keep championing it after everyone else seems to have forgotten all about it.

8/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Parole-Officer-DVD-Steve-Coogan/dp/B00005Y415/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1397247332&sr=1-1&keywords=the+parole+officer

April Fools: Run For Your Wife (2012)

Oh god. Oh my god. My eyes. My brain. My eyes. I expected Run For Your Wife to be bad (you'll struggle to find a kind word said about it anywhere and the limited cinema screening was a financial embarrassment) but I didn't expect it to be THIS bad. It's ONLY saved from the lowest score possible by the many fleeting cameo appearances from numerous older stars of stage and screen, which allowed me to distract myself from the pain by spotting people and trying to remember what they were best known for. Rolf Harris, Barry Cryer, Cliff Richard, Vicki Michelle, Robin Askwith, Judi Dench (how could you?) and many others turn up for a few seconds to join in with the fun, although I use the word in its loosest sense.

The plot concerns cheeky, lovable taxi driver (John Smith, played by Danny Dyer) getting hit on the head as he helps an old woman keep her handbag away from some thieves, and ending up in hospital. This makes his wife (Denise Van Outen) very worried when she realises that he didn't make it home from his shift. It also makes his other wife (Sarah Harding) very worried when she realises that he hasn't made it home from his shift. Yes, John has two wives. And now he has to do whatever it takes to stop them from finding out about each other. He ropes in his mate (Neil Morrissey) to help him, as the police want some questions answered and the local press want to do an interview with such a have-a-go hero.

This is truly awful stuff. I'm pretty sure that Danny Dyer sold his last ounce of shame about five years ago, probably in exchange for a packet of baking soda that someone convinced him was top-grade cocaine, but the other members of the cast might want to buy up every last copy of this DVD so that nobody else ever sees it. Van Outen is, surely, capable of much better than the shrill performance that she gives here, accompanied by plenty of horrible mugging. Morrissey has done plenty of comedy in his past, and has been very good at it, so he should have known better. Sarah Harding gets a pass, I guess, as the newcomer to the acting world, but her awful performance makes me hope that she doesn't try her hand at comedy again, ever. And Ben Cartwright, as the policeman trying to unravel the messy situation, struggles to get out of the whole thing with his dignity intact. He fails, but he at least tries harder than anyone else. Kellie Shirley really needs to start over, as I think she has the potential to be much better, and the least said about the stereotypes portrayed by Christopher Biggins and Lionel Blair the better.

Written and co-directed by Ray Cooney (John Luton is the other credited director), based on his stage play, this is a relic of a bygone age that hasn't been updated or improved for modern audiences, as far as I can tell. It's cringe-inducing, at best, and downright insulting on many occasions. None of the women are capable of more than panicking at the most minor mishap, or being duped by their beloved husband, and I already mentioned the characters portrayed by Biggins and Blair.

Awful, awful, awful. I don't condone violence but advise that if you ever see anyone about to buy this then you slap them in the face, just to bring them back to their senses. It's the worst British film that I've seen in decades, and the worst Danny Dyer film by far. And THAT is saying something.

2/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Run-your-Wife-DVD-2012/dp/B00CLRGWJS/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1397078273&sr=1-1&keywords=run+for+your+wife

See the pain I endure for this blog? And I do it all for free. But every copy of my book sold gets a few pounds in my pocket, and gets you a good read (if I say so myself).

The UK version can be bought here - http://www.amazon.co.uk/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1395945647&sr=1-3&keywords=movie+guide

And American folks can buy it here - http://www.amazon.com/TJs-Ramshackle-Movie-Guide-Reviews-ebook/dp/B00J9PLT6Q/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395945752&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=TJs+ramshackle+mov

As much as I love the rest of the world, I can't keep up with all of the different links in different territories, but trust me when I say that it should be there on your local Amazon.

April Fools: Sons Of The Desert (1933)

I have to begin this review by confessing that, somehow, up until now I had never seen a Laurel & Hardy movie. Not a one. Oh, I'd seen some clips and may have seen one or two of their shorts in my youth, though I can't recall, but this was going to be a first for me.

Laurel & Hardy have enough fans. They're titans in the field of comedy, and don't need me defending or criticising them, so please bear that in mind when I proffer up my unworthy opinion after the following brief plot summary.

It's quite a simple tale. Stan and Ollie have taken a solemn oath to join their brothers from the Sons Of The Desert lodge at a convention in Chicago. Unfortunately, they didn't run it past their wives first of all. Stan is very upset, whereas Ollie thinks it will be easy. They are the men of their respective households, after all, so it shouldn't be a problem. Funnily enough, it's a problem, which leaves both men having to work together to come up with some excuse that will allow them to attend the convention without their wives ever finding out. Knowing Stan and Ollie, that can only end badly.

Recommended to me, along with a number of other titles, by fans of the duo, perhaps Sons Of The Desert wasn't the best movie for me to start with. It's good, don't think that I didn't enjoy it for the entire runtime, but I was somehow expecting something more. The slapstick felt, to me, forced and overdone. How many times can Stan forget how to open a door, for example, or how much water can he spill by constantly moving a tub full of the stuff into the wrong position? Having said that, there were plenty of solid laughs coming from both the dialogue and the entire situation as it unfolded throughout the film. The premise is, of course, a classic one that would be used, or so it seemed, by every sitcom throughout the fifties, sixties and seventies.

William Seiter is the director, and keeps things nice and simple for most of the movie. Just lock the camera down and watch Stan and Ollie work with one another. Simple. The story by Frank Craven has about half a dozen uncredited helping hands listed on IMDb, but I guess that many developments and set-pieces were shaped by the stars, allowing them to play to their strengths.

Laurel & Hardy are almost beyond criticism, and it seems redundant to heap more praise on them at this point, so I'll just say that Charley Chase was also fun in a small role, while Mae Busch and Dorothy Christy were both simply fantastic as the wives of the hapless leads. Christy is as sweet to Stan as he deserves. Busch, on the other hand, doesn't hold back when dealing out any punishment to Ollie.

A film worth seeing, and most Laurel & Hardy fans will have already seen it, but if you're new to the duo, as I am, then it may be one to push back, just until you've eased into their filmography with one or two other adventures.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Laurel-Hardy-Collection-21-disc-Box/dp/B0001K2KE8/ref=sr_1_5?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1397281650&sr=1-5&keywords=laurel+and+hardy

April Fools: Trail Of The Screaming Forehead (2007)

Apparently, writer-director Larry Blamire has been churning out a number of enjoyable comedies lovingly spoofing b-movies from the '50s and '60s for a few years now. On the recommendation of a friend, Trail Of The Screaming Forehead was the first one that I finally decided to check out. I'm glad I did. While it's not a great film, because a number of the jokes are overused and many moments are just a bit TOO ridiculous, it is an amusing one, and it manages to skirt close enough to the feel and style of the movies that it's paying tribute to.

Here's the basic, silly, premise. A small, American town is invaded by alien foreheads. Yes, crawling foreheads that plant themselves over human foreheads and end up controlling their human hosts. This happens, coincidentally, at the same time as Dr. Sheila Bexter (Fay Masterson) is conducting her ground-breaking research on foreheads, in an attempt to show that it's the forehead, and not the brain, that houses our intelligence.

Ridiculous? Oh, indeed. But also very funny, if watched in the right frame of mind. The movie revels in a mix of lame gags, all-too-familiar moments that seemed to be present in every film of this type, and daffy special effects created on a low budget.

Blamire may not get everything perfect, but he does a great job of ticking plenty of boxes. Theme song using the title of the movie? Check. Newcomers in town stumbling on to the bad situation? Check. Scientists taking their work too far? Check. Dick Miller? Check. Disbelieving local police? Check. A potential solution to the problem that seems very silly, but also seems to make sense? You may have guessed by now, but . . . . . . check.

The cast are all being deliberately awkward and (slightly) wooden, but they all do a great job with the material. Hmmm, I MEAN that as a compliment, honestly, even if it doesn't seem like it. Daniel Roebuck may be the most familiar to viewers (not counting Dick Miller, James Karen and a fine actor who makes a cameo appearance at the very end of the film), but Brian Howe, Dan Conroy and Alison Martin are the main trio trying to keep the foreheads at bay. Masterson is great as the scientist, Andrew Parks raises numerous laughs as the fellow scientist who agrees to be her guinea pig, H. M. Wynant is great in every scene he gets, and Jennifer Blaire is suitably hard-nosed with a touch of sexy in the role of Droxy Chappelle.

If the title is enough to put you off then don't watch it, it's as simple as that. Give it a chance, however, and you may find that there are a lot of plus points throughout the never-ending silliness.

6/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Trail-Screaming-Forehead-Directors-Cut/dp/B004N5UTUO/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1397839879&sr=1-1&keywords=trail+of+the+screaming+forehead

April Fools: A Fish Called Wanda (1988)

A Fish Called Wanda is a great comedy. A modern classic, in my opinion, thanks to the mix of dialogue, cast, characters and situations. Unfortunately, it also seemed to start the advertising trend that plagues British hits to this day. Every comedy that came along after it would find someone able to say that it was "the best British comedy since A Fish Called Wanda". Until Richard Curtis came along, at least, and then Four Weddings & A Funeral took over, soon superceded by The Full Monty and, well, every other big British success at the box office since then. But let's get back to Wanda.

It's the story of a daring robbery, and a little double-cross by some members of the team. The lovely Wanda (Jamie Lee Curtis) is the woman with the grand plan, and she will use all of her feminine wiles to get what she wants. Her partner is Otto (Kevin Kline), a man pretending to be her brother. Otto is a great man with a weapon, but he's not as smart as he thinks he is. Just don't call him stupid. Wanda and Otto are working together to find out where the diamonds from their big robbery have been hidden. George (Tom Georgeson), the man who planned and led the robbery, has been arrested and, funnily enough, doesn't trust anyone. He has moved the loot, and only Ken (Michael Palin) has the key to use whenever the location is revealed. Meanwhile, Archie Leach (John Cleese) is the man defending George in court. He's the one George may tell about the whereabouts of the diamonds if he needs to make a deal, so he's the one that Wanda needs to get close to. Very close.

Directed by Charles Crichton, with a script written by Cleese, this is a film that stands up alongside his earlier classics such as The Lavender Hill Mob. In fact, it's hard to think of a more fitting final film for the man, so perfectly does it mix the old with the new by juxtaposing the repressed Brits alongside the more outlandish Americans. There aren't too many flourishes, but the material doesn't need it.

The cast are all clearly having a lot of fun (with Kline even snagging a surprising Oscar for his supporting role - the Academy often overlooks/dismisses such comedic material, in my experience) and the clash between Curtis and Kline whenever they're onscreen alongside Palin or Cleese is always as entertaining as it is exaggerated. Georgeson has less to do, but is just fine, while Maria Aitken is excellent in a rather thankless role, playing the rich, self-absorbed, wife of Leach. She's a reminder of what happens to people who allow their dreams and energies to die for the sake of a good place in society and a nice house.

Full of so many great lines and moments, from the many stupid sentences spoken by Otto, to the attempts made by stuttering Ken to kill a key witness (Patricia Hayes), to the famous sight of John Cleese stripping off while speaking in a foreign language, to the even more famous sight of Palin with chips up his nose, this is a film that still proves as rewatchable and laugh-inducing today as it did when first released.

9/10

http://www.amazon.com/Fish-Called-Wanda-Two-Disc-Collectors/dp/B000IONJJ2/ref=sr_1_4?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1397829319&sr=1-4&keywords=a+fish+called+wanda