Shudder Saturday: Spiral (2019)

Okay, let me start this review, as I sometimes do, by informing you that a lot of people love Spiral. And good for them. It certainly has a lot of good qualities, and I am happy to see it getting a lot of praise recently ahead of some blander fare. Although I didn't love it, I did like it. It's just a shame that it felt a bit too familiar and derivative in the third act.

Malik (Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman) and Aaron (Ari Cohen) are a same-sex couple who move to a small town so they can start the next chapter of their lives together, and raise their teenage daughter (Kayla, played by Jennifer Laporte) in a good environment while they try to instil the best values in her. They have some pleasant neighbours (Tiffany, Marshal, and their son, Tyler), but it's not long until unpleasantness appears, in the form of some homophobic graffiti that seems to make it clear that the couple are not welcome. This seems at odds with the attitudes of the people around them, but Malik becomes more and more anxious about the potential for things to get dangerous.

Written by Colin Minihan and John Poliquin, Spiral is strongest when it starts to build an atmosphere of threat and suspicion. Despite us seeing that Malik has good reason to be worried, most people (including his partner) try to dismiss his concerns. Which I can only imagine is akin to the experience many people in the gay community find when they sense intolerance but struggle to find empathy in those who don't notice it, either deliberately or simply because their life experiences have allowed them to remain blissfully ignorant of that kind of attitude. Often, and it is something we have seen become more prevalent as a lesson to be learned in the past few years, it's easier to accept the hateful morons who are loud and proud with their prehistoric attitudes than it is to deal with people who wrap their hatred and intolerance up in small gestures, "innocent" faux pas, and a rigid adherence to rules, regulations, and formats all created before society was more progressive than it is today.*

Spiral starts to stumble when it puts things in place to become a more standard horror movie, and that's a shame. It's not as if the script takes a dive, or director Kurtis David Harder does anything majorly wrong. There are horror elements in the first half that impress, even while they feel incongruous alongside the more grounded atmosphere of fear being created. There are also some great moments involving Lochlyn Munro and Chandra West (who play their characters, Marshal and Tiffany, with a great blend of charm and something just being a bit off, but it all becomes weaker as you realise it's wading further and further into proper horror territory.

Bowyer-Chapman carries a lot of the movie on his shoulders, and he does a great job. Cohen works well alongside him, while Laporte and Ty Wood impress as the younger characters who try to connect with one another while some strange events are unfolding around them. There aren't too many other main characters, but everyone does good work.

Other plus points include the overall look and feel of the movie, considering the lower budget that I imagine was available, the plotting of the film, and the way things build to a bittersweet final sequence. 

Spiral is very much worth your time. I'm just surprised by how much it started to lose my interest whenever it took a turn from the drama to the outright horror. Give it a watch though, and let me know what you thought of it, and whether or not you agree with me.

*No, not everyone, and not everywhere, is as progressive as we would like. Like an IKEA display room, everything is there but there's still a lot more work to build a comfortable house for all.

7/10

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Primal (2019)

I don't know what others were expecting from Primal, one of the many recent Nicolas Cage movies to appear on streaming platforms, seemingly weeks after we heard about it being made, but I was surprised when I heard the plot summary and then heard people reacting negatively to it. I do understand people disliking the film, don't get me wrong, but I don't understand people loathing it if they have any rough idea of what they're letting themselves in for.

Cage plays Frank, a hunter of wildlife who is heading home with his latest shipment of captured animals, including a large white jaguar. The ship he is travelling on is also carrying a prisoner, Richard Loffler (Kevin Durand). Ain't it just a wild bit of misfortune that Loffler escapes? He also starts freeing some of the animals, leading to the ship having a bit of a dangerous Jumanji vibe about it (especially when people have to deal with dangerous monkeys). Frank wants to keep his collection of animals safe, and ends up being the best chance to recapture Loffler.

Okay, just to be clear here, Primal isn't really a film to class as good. The script, by Richard Leder, is far too full of groan-inducing dialogue and contrivances, there's a sad lack of any tension or thrills, and it lacks decent action beats. The fact that director Nicholas Powell has a background in the world of stunts makes the last omission all the more disappointing, considering the potential for some wild and crazy set-pieces. It's clear that someone had a fun idea that was then turned into a film without a big enough budget to realise even half of the potential.

Thankfully, if you're a fan anyway, you get Cage chewing the scenery. He's a blast in the main role, the kind of anti-hero who doesn't care about the people in charge, and just ends up spurred into action because he realises nobody else is as capable as he is. Durand is a decent villain, he can turn on the right mix of charm and menace, while both Famke Janssen and Michael Imperioli help to round out the main cast, as well as LaMonica Garrett.

You know what is coming along in the third act, you know that by the end of the first act, and there are some decent moments along the way. Monkeys, a snake, big cats, they all add to the fun, but none of them are used enough. There's also a lack of any good twists and turns, although things are hinted at here and there that the script never really turns into anything major. 

Let's be very clear. This is a film that has Cage as a hunter, on a ship with a dangerous criminal, and a bunch of wild animals that are set free as events unfold. If you like Cage as an onscreen presence then how can you fail to at least enjoy this? If you dislike Cage then I don't know what to tell you, other than . . . you're missing out.

6/10

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Split Second (1992)

Director Tony Maylam has two main features worth checking out. One is The Burning (the slasher classic), the other one is this. What could have been an interesting buddy cop thriller, with a dark heart, instead ends up being a bit too murky throughout, and clumsily written. Which doesn’t mean there is no fun to be had here. And I will maintain until my dying day that this feels very much like a movie adaptation of the James Herbert novel, Moon. 

Rutger Hauer is Harley Stone, a cop with a gritty attitude, a big gun, and a psychic link to a crazed killer (someone who likes to rip out hearts and then take a bite out of them). He is partnered up with Detective Dick Durkin (Neil Duncan), a more by the book kind of cop, of course. As the killer keeps trying to lure Stone to him, those around him end up in danger. He already lost his partner, and extra guilt comes from the fact that he was having an affair with his partner’s wife, Michelle (Kim Cattrall).

A really strange hybrid of elements, Split Second is perhaps most frustrating because it never fully settles on what it wants to be. A cop flick? A dark thriller? A full-on horror movie? It ends up being none of those things, yet it also amuses and entertains as it works with elements from all of them. 

Maylam directs with competence, but contributes to the lack of focus inherent in the messy script from Gary Scott Thompson. The waterlogged future UK setting could have been a great feature, but it is just as wasted as every other part of the plot.

Thankfully, Hauer helps to elevate everything with the power of Hauer. He spouts numerous lines of absolute nonsense, grizzled and single-minded as he wanders through the city on the investigation that defines his entire character. Duncan is nowhere near as much fun, but his differing style works well opposite Hauer’s driven mania. Cattrall is as welcome an addition as she usually is, and there are good little turns from Alun Armstrong, Pete Postlethwaite, Ian Dury, and Michael J. Pollard. 

I have never loved Split Second, something I always found surprising. But I have also never hated it either. That isn’t surprising, mainly because I cannot think of any film starring Hauer that I have strongly disliked. Give it a watch, it’s adequate b-movie fare. Just remember that it is a lower-tier Rutger Hauer movie.

5/10

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Prime Time: Get Duked! (2019)

Get Duked! enjoyed a good festival run last year, if my memory serves me right, but I didn't catch it. It was then titled Boyz In The Wood (which I think is a better title) and I just didn't fit it into my schedule when it was a potential viewing choice back then. I'm glad I finally got to it now though.

Rian Gordon, Lewis Gribben, and Viraj Juneja are, respectively, Dean, Duncan, and legend-in-his-own-lunchtime DJ Beatroot. They're all in a bit of trouble, which leads to them being signed up to the Duke of Edinburgh Award scheme. They'll be dropped into an area of Scottish countryside and left to make their own way to a pre-determined point, with a number of factors being rated during their experience. One of those factors is teamwork, which looks a lot less likely when they're joined by Ian (Samuel Bottomley), an eager young man who actually volunteered for the scheme. In fact, getting to their destination at all starts to look very unlikely when the teens start to be hunted by a gun-toting "duke" (Eddie Izzard) and his wife (Georgie Glen).

Written and directed by Ninian Doff, Get Duked! is a fantastic feature debut from someone I'll now be eager to see more from. Doff has built up a decent selection of music videos in his filmography, having worked with the likes of The Chemical Brothers, Kasabian, Miike Snow, and Run The Jewels, and he delivers a film that crackles with energy, genuinely great humour, a smattering of hip-hop, and class warfare.

Funnily enough, as light and disposable as the film may seem, in some ways, it's that last element that separates this from many other riffs on The Most Dangerous Game. The people doing the hunting here are the ones we have seen in the news more and more lately, usually for all the wrong reasons. People that have everything they want, take whatever else they fancy, and don't think the rules apply to them. They're not breaking the law. They're helping to maintain a natural order.

The script is sharp and witty (there's a monologue here from a scene-stealing Alice Lowe, talking about a bread thief, that is one of the funniest things I have enjoyed in years), the soundtrack is very enjoyable, and the very end scenes bring everything together in a way that is both ridiculous and yet also absolutely satisfying, and bound to make you smile.

It also helps that every single cast member is doing top work. The young leads are about as perfect as you could want them to be. Gordon and Gribben are very standard . . . idiots (certainly in how quick they are to just try whatever idea first comes into their heads), Juneja keeps having an opinion of himself that doesn't seem in line with his rapping abilities, until he discovers an unlikely fan base, and Bottomley is the kind of young man you just know has a favourite Thermos flask. Izzard and Glen are suitably menacing as they stalk their prey, more so in the way they really don't seem to try and hide their homicidal intent, and Jonathan Aris is the teacher responsible for dropping the teens off and leaving them to their own devices. You also get some Highland police officers (the two main ones played by Kate Dickie and Kevin Guthrie), their quest for the aforementioned bread thief nicely juxtaposed with a more dangerous potential threat, and a farmer (James Cosmo) who ends up being gifted a DJ Beatroot CD. Cosmo has given many great performances over the years, but the sight/sound of him driving his tractor while singing along to some juvenile penis-centric lines of rap should be high on any list of favourite Cosmo moments.

This would double-bill nicely with Attack The Block if you want to see both urban and rural adventures of youths being hunted by dangerous predators. I'd argue that the enemy here is much more dangerous than any alien entity. And I'd also argue that this is the better of the two films, but there's not much in it, and let's revel in the fact that the past decade gave us both.

9/10

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Dead Dicks (2019)

Sometimes a title just grabs my attention, and Dead Dicks is quite a title. Having no idea what it might be about, I decided to at least look at the number lot synopsis. And I was intrigued.

Written and directed by Chris Bavota and Lee Paula Springer, this is the tale of a brother and sister. Jillian Harris is Becca, a woman about to embark on the next stage of her life. She has a good opportunity, and wants to make the most of it. But that means first visiting her brother, Richie (Heston Horwin), and figuring out how to break the news to him. Things take a turn when she gets to his home and finds his corpse. They take another turn when Richie appears in a form that is very much alive and well. Something strange has happened after he committed suicide. Obviously. Not expecting to come back, Richie now wants Becca to help him figure out just what is going on.

Working well within the limitations they have, Bavota and Springer help themselves immensely with the strength of their central idea. Someone dying and then coming back to life, yet still seeing their corpse in the space where it has been left, is an inherently unsettling idea. And there’s also a new wall cavity that looks suspiciously like a birth . . . gateway. The cast is, for the most part, just made up of three people (as well as those already mentioned, Matt Keyes plays an irritated neighbour), and there's an investigation into the central mystery without anyone ever getting your hopes up that it will be solved. I won't say whether it is or not.

Harris and Horwin work very well together, both creating a believable chemistry of love and tension between siblings. Horwin is stuck with the more difficult character, in a way, as he is the brother who has made a lot of mistakes that his sister has helped him try to bounce back from, but he's helped by a script that makes him just the right amount of annoying, without ever going overboard. It helps that we first meet him with the knowledge that he died, and Harris is the one often left to react to what is going on with ever-increasing fear and panic. Keyes does well in a rather thankless role, becoming one more obstacle on the road to the leads experimenting as they try to get to the bottom of things.

The biggest plus point here has to be the fact that it essentially all stems from a suicide though. Not a suicide attempt. A suicide. Once the initial shock of the strangeness she is seeing fades, Becca has to try and process the fact that her brother took his own life. She wants to know his reasons, wants to know how she could be more helpful. It's all stated in a very matter-of-fact way by Richie, but the conversations that have to explore this part of the plot end up reverberating through the rest of the movie, all the way through to a very satisfying finale.

The title may lead you to believe that this is a very different kind of film, but give this a go and you may end up being very pleasantly surprised. It doesn't take long to get to the sci-fi weirdness at the heart of it, and it's a winning combination of thought-provoking moments, macabre humour, and one or two dark turns.

8/10

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Mubi Monday: Lolita (1997)

I am not familiar with the tale of Lolita, having somehow never seen the film by Stanley Kubrick, or even read the source novel by Vladimir Nabokov. All I knew about it is what most people know about it. There's something at the heart of it that involves an older man and an underage girl. Yeah, if you've spent the past week or so getting upset about Cuties then you may want to stop reading now.

Jeremy Irons plays Humbert Humbert, a gentleman who ends up residing as a lodger in the home of Charlotte Haze (Melanie Griffith) and her young daughter, Dolores "Lolita" Haze (Dominique Swain). Swiftly growing infatuated with the child, Humbert eventually marries Charlotte, all the while scheming to do the minimum he has to do, in terms of his husbandly duties, and keep himself available to Lolita. Things do not go well in the marriage, of course, but that leads to a period of time during which Humbert and Lolita can give in to their distasteful urges.

I'm struggling to fully balance out my thoughts on Lolita. It is not a film I enjoyed, not one bit, and I am struggling to figure out the appeal of the source material, which perhaps makes some points lost in the adaptation from page to screen by Stephen Schiff (in what seems to be his first credited writing role). I guess, considering the third act, it's about a man so oblivious to how wrong his behaviour is that he needs to find someone worse than himself to help him find some kind of redemption.

Everyone involves deserves credit for giving it a try, even in 1997 this wasn't exactly something that moviegoers would be rushing to see, and the fact that it tries very hard to walk a tightrope between the intriguing and the disgusting is enough to remind you that no small amount of effort was exerted to get this done.

Director Adrian Lyne shoots things in a way that is either passive or, worse, lingering from the POV of Humbert. He places you alongside the main character, who has the benefit of being so well portrayed by Irons, and gives you nowhere to hide, even as things become darker and more sordid.

As well as a top-notch performance from Irons, Swain does well in the titular role. Her character is often very annoying, and treats the people around her quite appallingly, but she's a child being a child, even when she has moments of trying to act like a woman. She never is, and that point is emphasised at every turn, even when viewing her through the eyes of Humbert, who views her in a different way from everyone else. Griffith has a limited amount of screentime, but does well with it, and there are a couple of scenes stolen by Frank Langella.

The more I think about Lolita, the less I like it. That's not really the fault of the film though. I found the central idea too disturbing, as it was intended to be, but I also appreciated watching something that proved to be such a strong challenge. Not to sound too pretentious, but that can happen sometimes with art. A strong averse reaction can be just as rewarding, in some ways, as a strong connection to the material. The worst thing that any art can do is leave you disengaged, and Lolita certainly doesn't allow you to view it without becoming engaged.

The technical side of things is generally decent enough, and the performances give it a boost, but I hope to never watch this again. I will, however, check out the Kubrick film one day. And I may see how the novel presents things.

5/10

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Netflix And Chill: The Babysitter: Killer Queen (2020)

Everyone was surprised by just how good The Babysitter was. Despite my own ability to tolerate his work, even I could see why McG had become so hated by film fans. Perhaps now is the time for some to realise he's actually never been THAT bad. Although it doesn't change the fact that he credits himself as McG.

Anyway, this sequel to The Babysitter brings back all of the main players. That may surprise people who remember the events of the first film, but the trailer gives you all the info you need. There's a deal with the devil that allows the dangerous youngsters from the first film to return for one night and once again terrorise Cole (Judah Lewis). There are also some new extra characters involved in the madness this time, including an attractive and resourceful young woman named Phoebe (Jenna Ortega).

The approach may not work for everyone, but The Babysitter: Killer Queen has a lot of fun trying to cram in as much fun, and as many movie references as possible, into every scene. Whether it's a running comment about the very few sequels that surpass the originals, the use of "Apache" in one key scene, or the evocative score from Risky Business underpinning some scenes in which we see Cole both afraid and yet also enjoying his time with Phoebe.

Brian Duffield may not have returned to the writing duties, but Dan Lagana, Brad Morris, Jimmy Warden, and also McG himself, do well by all of the central characters, maintaining the tone of the first film, peppering everything with a mix of new gags and fun callbacks. This may not be better than the original, but it comes close enough to be rated on a par with it. It's just a shame that the excellent Samara Weaving has a lot less screentime this time around, understandably so.

The direction is as lively and irreverent as it was in the first film, with the subtitles returning when a point is being made, and some quick flashbacks for most of the main characters. It's not quite as successful this time, simply due to the familiarity with the form, but McG definitely seems to be having fun, which is passed on to viewers.

Lewis and Ortega are a decent pair of leads, with the former having the added characterisation now of working through the PTSD of a traumatic incident that so many people don't believe. Emily Alyn Lind is a lot of fun as Melanie, another girl that our lead character likes, even if his chances of anything actually happening with her look slim to none, and it's hard to pick a favourite from Robbie Amell, Hana Mae Lee, Bella Thorne, and Andrew Bachelor, who are all generally involved in some fun and gory death scenes. It's also worth mentioning the increased screentime for Ken Marino and Leslie Bibb, with the former managing to deliver many more laughs with his wonderful narrative strand.

It's not better than the first film, but if you liked that then you're bound to enjoy this. And patience is rewarded whenever Weaving appears. Her shadow falls over the whole movie, but it moves up a notch whenever she's there in person. I am glad we got a second outing for these characters. I hope they don't try to stretch things for a third outing though.

8/10

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Shudder Saturday: Wendigo (2001)

Larry Fessenden is, by all accounts, a lovely person. He's been a vital figure in the world of independent horror for many years, and many people love his work as a writer and director, although he's equally welcome when popping up in front of the camera (a Fessenden cameo is almost always a fun moment). I know much more about the man nowadays than I did when I first watched Wendigo. People had been heaping no small amount of praise upon it, and I guess my expectations were raised. It proved to be a disappointing experience. So I was interested in how I would view it now, almost twenty years later.

Well, it's still disappointing.

George (Jake Weber) is looking to enjoy a winter break with his wife, Kim (Patricia Clarkson), and young son, Miles (Erik Per Sullivan). Things don't get off to a great start, however, when they hit a deer. This antagonises a hunter named Otis (John Speredakos), who is angered by the fact that he was hunting it for some time, and broken antlers have far less value. Things then get stranger when a shopkeeper tells Miles about the legend of the Wendigo, putting an idea in his head that the creature may be responsible for some of their current circumstances.

Although this movie just leaves me cold (no pun intended), it's not a film I really want to pick apart. I know some people really enjoy it, perhaps for the way it at least tries to do something rather unique and interesting with a central horror idea that could have easily just been another "people stalked by a monster in some woods" movie. Fessenden at least deserves credit for trying to stay away from a number of horror genre standards, but he does this to the detriment of the whole experience. If a horror doesn't work as a horror then it's not a horror. Perhaps it can then be viewed as a dark thriller, but this doesn't do enough to work in that way either. So you're left with a strange drama that doesn't satisfy because of the way it takes time to create some atmospheric moments that would be much more effective in a dark thriller or horror movie.

The cast aren't too bad. Weber and Clarkson are a believable married couple, and young Sullivan was quite the superb child star for a number of years. Speredakos is a bit over the top, but that flaw seems to come from the writing, which insists his character is the outright rage-filled prick from his very first scene. Christopher Wynkoop and Lloyd Oxendine also do well in their small roles.

I was rooting for this to work better this time around, thinking that my lowered expectations might help, or maybe just the fact that I am older (though no wiser) and much more used to being patient with many of my viewing choices. It just still doesn't work for me in any capacity. That's a shame, but it's also great that it is just one of many Fessenden projects out there for people to discover, and to like or dislike. The films may vary in their levels of success, but Fessenden is a constant stalwart within the horror genre.

3/10

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The Hunchback Of Notre Dame (1996)

Quasimodo, eh. That name rings a bell. *guffaw*

With that lame gag out of the way, it's worth starting this review by mentioning that THAT gag is funnier than most of the lines in this movie. I could also belt out a tune and tell you that my choice of songs would be better than most of the tunes in this movie. Neither of these things made me enjoy the film any less though. I'm just making this clear at the very start.

My lame gag is also a way of clarifying that I'm going to assume people know enough about this story already. Written by Victor Hugo, The Hunchback Of Notre Dame is all about a deformed bell-ringer (Quasimodo, voiced here by Tom Hulce) who lives in the heights of Notre Dame Cathedral. He ends up out in the midst of the public one day, jeered and mocked, and shown some kindness from a beautiful Gypsy woman (Esmeralda, voiced by Demi Moore). The plot then concerns Quasimodo's love for the woman who was kind to him, a "trespassing" suitor (Captain Phoebus, played by Kevin Kline), and the nasty Judge Claude Frollo (voiced by Tony Jay), who is the acting guardian of Quasimodo.

So, bearing in mind it's not too funny and none of the songs are that memorable, what would make The Hunchback Of Notre Dame worth your time? Well, it's just a really good movie, and one that incorporates a number of themes not usually found in cute and colourful animated outings. And the fact that it's not too funny doesn't mean it's completely unfunny, while the songs not being too memorable doesn't mean that they're bad. I found this entertaining throughout, and I enjoyed a few of the main songs, even if I cannot hum any of the tunes right now. Maybe a rewatch will change that.

Written by a whole heap of people, and directed by Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise, it's worth celebrating this as a Disneyfied adaptation of quite a dark and twisted classic. All of the voice cast do a great job, it's worth mentioning the presence of Jason Alexander as a gargoyle appropriately named Hugo, and they match their characters perfectly. Kline and Moore are the standouts, but you also have small roles for David Ogden Stiers, playing a kindly head priest, and Paul Kandel as a puppeteer who introduces the main theme of the story.

It's an immersive and rewarding experience, made so by the gorgeous animation and shot choices that bring viewers into the world of late 15th-century Paris, letting them float and fly around the streets and rooftops when free from the confines of Notre Dame itself, and putting viewers alongside some nicely-rounded characters. I'm kicking myself for not getting to this sooner, and I'll look forward to revisiting it. Who knows, maybe one day I'll even check out the sequel, although my expectations will be kept very low down for that.

Highly recommended, unless you're wanting the more standard Disney flick, complete with more hearty chuckles and singalong moments. But you can pick from about fifty of those. So at least give this one your time someday.

8/10

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The Gruesome Twosome (1967)

Note - second time writing this review.

Herschell Gordon Lewis has his fans. I am one of them. To a degree. His approach is definitely not one to appreciate in the company of people unused to his style, but he does what he does well. And what he does well is use very limited resources to showcase some imaginatively nasty bloodshed and mutilation.

Here we have a tale of death and scalping, introduced by two shop dummies (in voiceover, thankfully not animated). Old Mrs Pringle (Elizabeth Davis) sometimes provides a room to rent for the girls at the local university. And this brings Kathy Baker (Gretchen Wells) into her home. She also has her dangerous son, Rodney (Chris Martell), living with her. Mrs. Pringle has a reputation for providing some of the best wigs in the area. But it turns out that they are the best because Rodney helps.

Written by Louise Downe, this is a mix of preposterous fun and very nasty grue, with a lot of dull dialogue filling out the rest of the runtime. So pretty much on a par with every other Herschell Gordon Lewis movie. Having said that, the man knows what his fans want from him, and he provides. This may be a lesser film from him, but it is certainly not one of his very worst. Dare I suggest it could be another that would benefit from a remake? I dare, I dare.

Davis is okay as the deadly old lady, and Wells is a pleasant enough lead, and Martell has to grin and leer in scenes that show him either being sweet or being in full killer mode. If you have seen any other Lewis movie then you will know what to expect from the actors.

It's very hard not to at least admire any Lewis movie, even if only for the fact that he got it made. Everything else may be lacking, but the practical effects were always done enthusiastically enough to keep viewers distracted while they were the focus.

It's no Blood Feast or Two Thousand Maniacs! but few films are, for better or for worse.

5/10
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Prime Time: Twister (1996)

As a director, Jan de Bont started strong (with Speed). Things were looking promising. The man who had provided such impressive cinematography for the likes of Die Hard and Basic Instinct showed that he had good instincts. Speed remains the high point of his directorial gigs. Twister, the second movie that had him sitting in the big chair, is the next best one, but it is a major step down.

Helen Hunt is Dr. Jo Harding, a woman who chases tornados and hopes to find out more about them to create a better warning system. Bill Paxton is Bill Harding, her sorta-ex, who needs divorce papers signed so that he can get married to Dr. Melissa Reeves (Jami Gertz). As Bill and Jo try to finalise the end of their relationship, a lot of exciting tornado action takes place. The chasers give chase, trying to stay out of danger while getting closer than most people would like to be, and also trying to stay ahead of sneaky rival, Dr. Jonas Miller (Cary Elwes).

Co-written by Michael Crichton and Anne-Marie Martin, Twister is obviously a film thought up by people who figured that tornadoes were fascinating, and that they could make a thrill ride of a movie. They were half right in both instances.Making use of the latest CGI, as well as plenty of practical effects, De Bont tries to provide movie entertainment that feels designed for a gimmick-laden immersive experience. Twister is the one movie I might consider watching in one of those awful-looking 4DX cinema screens.

The cast is generally pretty good, and generally deserve better than they get from the script. Hunt and Paxton are two likeable leads, given just the one note to work with each (she NEEDS to succeed in her main quest to get a research device inside a tornado, he will help and also show that he still has feelings for her), but I can imagine better choices, and I say that with lots of love for Paxton. Their friends/colleagues include Philip Seymour Hoffman, Alan Ruck, Sean Whalen, and a few other familiar faces. Elwes does well as the non-tornado villain of the movie, and Gertz does her best to look bemused/interested/exasperated while being the sounding board for all of the exposition audiences need about tornadoes, and the strange ways they can behave.

Although it's pretty awful as a movie, Twister holds up as a shallow blockbuster. The effects may not seem as impressive nowadays as they seemed in 1996, when it comes to the CGI (the practical work is still top notch), but it's always working on the remit of entertaining audiences with spectacle and thrills. And you'll probably smirk when you see the cow flying through the air. Personally, I will always prefer other weather-based action movies like The Day After Tomorrow and The Perfect Storm. Even The Core would be a better option. But not Geostorm though. Never Geostorm.

5/10

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Schlock (1973)

The first film from director John Landis, Schlock is a comedic creature feature that shows a creature causing problems in a small town. Known as "The Banana Killer", it turns out that the creature is the missing link, aka Schlock.

Riffing on King Kong, and many other classic creature features, Schlock is a slim plot used as a hanger for an array of jokes, most of them pretty terrible (even by my standards). After a first half that shows Schlock scaring a variety of people, but not necessarily wanting to deliberately harm anyone, the second half feels like something much more familiar, with the creature taking an interest in a lovely young blind woman named Mindy Binerman (Eliza Roberts, billed as Eliza Garrett). It's not going to end well, surely.

There's some fun to be had here, and you have to admire Landis for throwing it together (while he also stars in the main role), but there's also plenty here to keep you from forgetting that you're watching the first film from someone who has an approach you could never categorise as subtle. It's a case of everything being thrown at the wall to see what sticks, but with Landis at the helm it's hard to say whether that is "first film syndrome" or just his own standard approach.

The best gags reference films such as 2001: A Space Odyssey and The Blob (which the characters watch within the film), and you also get the start of the "See You Next Wednesday" trademark, of course, but the many moments that aren't referencing specific movies often end up falling flat. Watch Schlock discover the joys of a concession stand in a cinema. Watch people talk to one another in a way that just feels like the sentences have been constructed to lead to some lame punchlines. Roll your eyes at the final shot of the film (okay, that's not actually a gag that falls flat, it's just very predictable and poorly executed).

None of the cast do great work. Although Landis wanders around and tries to do his best apeman impression, the sheer obviousness of it being a man in a pretty bad ape suit undermines every one of his scenes, despite the bad ape suit most likely being a big part of the joke. Roberts is okay, and at least gets to have a decent part in the finale, and Charle Villiers is allowed to act protective towards her, playing her boyfriend, Cal. I'll also mention Saul Kahan, playing Detective Sgt.Wino, but I'm not singling anyone else out.

It's fortunate that Landis would do much better with his next parody film, The Kentucky Fried Movie. This one may have been his first, and is also notable for being the first credited special effects gig for Rick Baker, but it's also arguably his worst. For completists only.

3/10

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Mubi Monday: A Couch In New York (1996)

A rom-com so strange that I am not entirely sure whether or not it is actually working as both a traditional type of film within the sub-genre and also some kind of knowing satire of the form, A Couch In New York nevertheless works any way you decide to take it.

Written and directed by Chantal Akerman, who developed the main story with Jean-Louis Benoît, what you have here is an apartment swap between a psychoanalyst (Henry Harriston, played by William Hurt) and a Parisian dancer (Béatrice Saulnier, played by Juliette Binoche). Both are seeking an escape, and both find themselves fascinated by the alternate lives the vicariously step into. Harriston struggles to deal with the messy chaos he discovers, but Ms Saulnier finds herself quickly growing to enjoy the role of substitute psychoanalyst when people turn up for appointments that they won't let her cancel.

Absolutely ridiculous once things start to play out, with both of the leads barely having time to adjust before the mistaken identity antics begin, there's something wonderful about just how this juxtaposes attempts at real with and intelligence with tropes that were already well-worn by this point. Hurt and Binoche bring a certain class to the proceedings, in a manner of speaking, and they have a good connection between them, but they have to work through scenes that have misinterpretations of cross-over talk, prolonged fakery stemming from an inexplicable inability to simply tell the truth and clear up any misunderstandings, and even a dash to catch a flight in the final act.

You could also check off some other very familiar rom-com elements throughout the course of the film. There's a cute pet, supporting characters who provide either help or obstacles (Anne, played by Stephanie Buttle, is a friend to Béatrice, while Dennis, played by Paul Guilfoyle, tries to advise Henry), some other people who pop in and out of the story long enough to help the main characters consider how they are acting, and that airport run.

I'm not meaning to sound like I am disparaging the rom-com at all when I say that Hurt and Binoche bring a certain class to the proceedings. I am just giving my own view of both leads. The rom-com is a type of film easily looked down on, and dismissed, by far too many people, but a terrible one will remind you of how much work it takes to make the great ones . . . great. Just watch Leap Year to see what I mean. No, don't watch that. Anyway, back to the cast here. The leads are great, although Hurt seems more ill-at-ease in his part than Binoche seems with what she has to do, and Guilfoyle adds some fun. Buttle has very little to do, which is fine when it allows for an extra minute or two of Richard Jenkins doing his stuff (he's a patient who comes to lie on the couch and discuss his problems).

Akerman knows what she's doing, as does everyone in front of the camera, but the end result somehow manages to feel both comfortably familiar and yet also slightly skewed. However you end up feeling about the film, it's an interesting viewing experience.

7/10

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Netflix And Chill: I See You (2019)

What starts off as a fairly routine, perhaps even substandard, thriller soon turns into something much more interesting by the time you get to the second half, and I am happy to highly recommend I See You to everyone who enjoys a film with some decent twists and turns.

It starts with the abduction of a young boy. This leads to Detective Greg Harper (Jon Tenney) diving into a case that feels very similar to one that everyone thought was all wrapped up. And missing teens aren't the only thing troubling Harper, as he deals with problems at home, mostly in the shape of infidelity committed by his wife, Jackie (Helen Hunt), and the anger this has stirred up in their teen son, Connor (Judah Lewis). There are also two other important characters, Alec and Mindy, but they come along later on, so I won't be focusing on them just now.

A big step up from director Adam Randall's previous movie (the disappointing iBoy), I See You works so well thanks to the script from first-timer Devon Graye. People may be a bit disappointed during the opening scenes, with the first half of the film playing out in a way that implies a supernatural element some won't want to accept, but patience is rewarded in a back end that is loaded with enjoyable revelations. Graye plots everything tightly enough, making the less believable moments easier to swallow as he starts to tighten the coiled spring you know will be loosed by the finale.

A lot of scenes feature some nicely "floating" camerawork, accompanied by a brooding score, that maintains the feeling of characters being watched by something in the house, be it an intruder or some kind of supernatural force. The conversations between various characters all feel loaded with much more than just the words being said, and that's even more apparent when viewers are given a different perspective on things.

Although Hunt is the big name at the heart of the cast, this is very much an ensemble piece. Tenney is an imposing presence throughout, and it's easy to stay on his side for a lot of the runtime, considering what he's dealing with, while Lewis is allowed to play his character as a teen with plenty of anger that is absolutely understandable. Owen Teague and Libe Barer are Alec and Mindy, respectively, and both give great performances, although it is Teague who ends up carrying a lot of the responsibility for how you ultimately react to things, his character arguably going through more changes than anyone else. Gregory Alan Williams does very well as the other detective, Spitzky, who wants to find out what the hell is going on with this new case of missing kids bringing a dark past crashing back into the present, and Sam Trammell has a small, but pivotal, role in the proceedings.

One to watch before you read too much about it, trust me when I tell you that you should end up satisfied with this one if you trust the people guiding you through the twists and turns. It has some great tension, it has some thrills, and it has an emotional core that, once revealed, feels very plausible and completely earned.

8/10

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Shudder Saturday: The Wind (2018)

A horror Western that keeps two female characters at the front and centre of everything, The Wind is an interesting movie that mixes well-crafted scares with a character study that shows viewers a strong, pained, female character being taunted and terrified by a supernatural force.

Caitlin Gerard is Lizzy Macklin, a woman who lives in an isolated part of the American frontier with her husband, Isaac (Ashley Zukerman). They end up gaining some neighbours, Emma (Julia Goldani Telles) and Gideon (Dylan McTee), and things seem quite pleasant, if occasionally tense. Lizzy ends up trying to be helpful when everyone finds out that Emma is pregnant, but the characters are living during times that are far less forgiving to any problems in pregnancy. Which leads to Lizzy being left alone for some time, and having to confront something that doesn't want her to have any peace.

Although not ever quite as good as it could be, The Wind has a lot going for it, not least of which is the fact that this was written and directed by two women, both of them making their feature debuts, in the world of fiction film anyway. Director Emma Tammi has previously co-directed and directed a couple of documentaries, while Teresa Sutherland here makes the leap from shorts to a full feature, even if her writing here seems to expand upon The Winter, a short film that she both wrote and directed back in 2012. I've not seen that, but there's certainly a similarity in the plot summaries available online. Regardless of their respective past achievements, both director and writer seem very much in simpatico here, with Sutherland providing a thoughtful chiller that doesn't skimp on moments of full-on horror genre entertainment while Tammi overlays everything with visuals that show the kind of sparse beauty of the American West of this time, also getting the timing and visuals of the scares perfectly balanced to please horror fans without disrupting the earthy tone of the movie, a tale that never lets you forget the only thing keeping the main character from the dark danger outside is a wooden house and a small fire.

Gerard is very good in her role, understandably on edge for many scenes without ever taking her performance to the level of hysteria. Telles is also very good, and gives the air of someone who may want to have, or keep, a secret (although maybe she's just happy to be in a MUCH better film than Slender Man). Zukerman and McTee both do fine as the menfolk, neither one as supportive as he could be to either of the women, and Miles Anderson is a highlight as The Reverend.

So many Westerns are directed by men and about men. It is, like so many other genres (and, arguably, the whole world of film), an area so dominated by males that it's easy to forget just how many more interesting tales we could have, simply by switching the focus to the many women who also have to go on some difficult journeys. That's the biggest plus point for The Wind, in my view, but I wouldn't be heaping praise on it if it didn't get the horror genre elements right. It does though, and holds up as a title to recommend ahead of many others I have seen so far this year.

8/10

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The Grudge (2020)

Here we are with another take on The Grudge, a movie series that has been going on now, in some incarnation, for about twenty years. I have loved most of the movies in the series, from those I have seen, and hoped for the best from this, despite hearing some pretty scathing reviews. Sadly, it's a whole big pile of nothing.

Shown in the series-standard non-linear style, the basic story concerns a Detective Muldoon (Andrea Riseborough) and her young son, Burke (John J. Hansen) being affected by the cursed house. She is working with a Detective Goodman (Demián Bichir), who saw his partner (Detective Wilson, played by William Sadler) driven to madness by the house. There's also a tale of a young couple (John Cho and Betty Gilpin) going through some major horror, and an elderly couple (Lin Shaye and Frankie Faison) who show some terrible sights to someone visiting to discuss assisted suicide (Jacki Weaver).

Written and directed by Nicolas Pesce, The Grudge feels like a movie written by someone given a summary of the previous films, but no direct experience of them. There's no impressive atmosphere here, no consistency in the way scares are built, or delivered, and generally not much that makes it feel like a film in the series. The juggled chronology quickly becomes annoying, especially as it all leads to a finale that absolutely underwhelms.

Without intending to offend most of the people onscreen, the casting doesn't help. Riseborough is a particularly cold nominal lead, and her scenes with Bichir are quite abysmal. She fares better with Sadler,who is a definite highlight. The scenes involving Shaye, Faison, and Weaver are the best in the film, mainly due to their comforting familiarity, but both Cho and Gilpin are wasted in their story strand, as much for the sad inevitability of it all as for the lack of any solid scares.

Considering the films he has done before this, I am even struggling to figure out why anyone would think Pesce a good fit for the series. He seems to specialise in mood and strangeness, which may have been marked in his favour, while The Grudge does best when full of palpable dread, punctuated by major shocks.

And, as lame as this may sound, this take on the material also underuses some other strengths, namely some fantastic audio and visuals that have given fans goosebumps for years.

Very disappointing. You would be better going back to revisit the many other interpretations, sequels, and tangents that the series has had since the start.

3/10

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Brainscan (1994)

Horror movies have always incorporated popular trends, and have always had fun with hobbies and interests that have been used as scapegoats by some scare-mongering news outlets. Whether it's the dangers of heavy metal, the perils of watching other horror movies, or videogames. And Brainscan is one of a number of movies to remind you that videogames are a corrupting influence on the youth of today. Well, the youth of the early 1990s, which means Edward Furlong.

Furlong plays Michael, a young man who ends up getting a CD-ROM of a game that allows him to commit violent crimes without fear of any real consequences. Except there does end up being consequences. Encountering a figure, The Trickster (T. Ryder Smith), who steps out of the screen, Michael finds himself in real danger. There's a detective (Hayden, played by Frank Langella) on the trail of a killer, and a young woman (Kimberly, played by Amy Hargreaves) who could become the next victim.

Written by Andrew Kevin Walker (yes, the man who would give us Seven just one year later), Brainscan is one of those horror movies that gets almost everything wrong. It desperately wants to make a memorable character with The Trickster, but fails, and none of the big plot points are as nasty and violent as they should be, which leaves the whole thing feeling far too take, especially for those who would have been the target audience for this in 1994.

Director John Flynn just doesn't have any handle on the material, as weak as it is, and makes a lot of wrong decisions. Had The Trickster been a better character then focusing on him would have been a good move, perhaps even giving him some more screentime (although he gets plenty), OR there could have been an attempt to make things even more complex between Langella's detective and Furlong's character, who keeps appearing in the wrong place at the wrong time. Considering how much better Langella is than anyone else in the movie, that could have greatly improved things.

Furlong is okay in the main role, but he's not someone I usually consider the best first choice for any role, and that is also the case here. He does what is asked of him though, moving from cocky teen to scared victim as it becomes clear that he may have actually committed crimes that will get him a hefty prison sentence. Langella is so good in his role here that I wish he'd been given similar roles in many other horror movies from about this time. In fact, I can't deny that I imagined a little fantasy universe in which Langella got the John Saxon role in the Elm Street series, and I wasn't disappointed. Smith is lacking a special quality needed to help make his character more entertaining, while both Hargreaves and Jamie Marsh (as a friend named Kyle) don't get time to make any strong impression.

Fun to watch once as a kind of relic from the 1990s, Brainscan isn't one that you should ever be too bothered about having missed off your viewing schedule. If the opportunity arises, decide whether or not you want to give it your time. It's quite poor, but it's not absolutely awful.

4/10

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Prime Time: City Hunter (1993)

I had somehow not seen City Hunter, despite being a big Jackie Chan fan, and despite being aware of it as "the one in which Jackie Chan appears in one scene as Chun Li". Having now seen it, I now know why I never got around to it. It's not really worth bothering with, and is really built up from all of the worst parts of Jackie Chan movies (horrible jokes, worse dialogue, and not enough action).

Chan plays Ryu Saeba, a cocky detective who spends his time chasing women and trying to look cool. He also looks after a relative of his dead partner, and regrets the promise that he made to not hit on her. Ryu is hired to track down Shizuko Imamura (Kumiko Goto), the daughter of a wealthy businessman, and ends up on a cruise ship that's about to be taken over by terrorists (headed up by Richard Norton).

Written and directed by Wong Jing, based on the popular manga, City Hunter aims to be a light and enjoyable bit of entertainment from the very beginning, with Chan explaining some backstory and his character directly to the camera. Perhaps if they'd decided to keep that style throughout then this would have been a better film, but things move into more traditional narrative style, although you often get punchlines to moments that feel like an obvious wink or smile to viewers.

Chan is saddled with the worst character he has ever played onscreen, in my experience of his filmography anyway, and cannot do enough to overcome the general cloak of douchebaggery that he has to wear throughout. It's still great to watch him when he fights, which doesn't happen often enough, but his dialogue is even more cringe-inducing than usual, with most of his sentences either being sexist, creepy, just outright irritating, or horribly homophobic. I get it. The humour is different. It should still make people laugh though, and I really don't see how anything here would do that.

Joey Wong has to pout and stamp her feet as Kaori Makimura, the young woman who was essentially raised by Ryu after the death of his partner (yes, there's extra creepiness in their relationship that we're just supposed to ignore), but Goto gets to do a little bit more with her role. Norton is a scenery-chewing villain, as you want in these movies, and Gary Daniels gets to enjoy a couple of good moments as his main henchman. Leon Lai plays a gambler on the cruise ship who has exceptional skill with playing cards, and both Chingmy Yau and Carol Wan add to the complement of beautiful women given rather thankless roles in the film.

There ARE a few good fight sequences, including one that has Jackie emulating a set-piece from Game Of Death as that film plays on a big screen behind him, but not enough to warrant sitting through the worst parts of this film. The plotting is awful, there's never a feeling that anything is really at stake, the humour falls flat, and I cannot recall the last time I watched a film with such an unlikeable central character. I did enjoy that Street Fighter sequence though, even if I knew I'd end up seeing Chan as Chun Li.

4/10

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Aquaslash (2019)

Written and directed by Renaud Gauthier (who previously gave us the enjoyably demented Discopathe), Aquaslash is a film advertised as a fun throwback to '80s slasher movies. It's not. It's really not. What it is, instead, is a brief distraction (the runtime is only 71 minutes) with an impressive set-piece late in the day that you need to decide is either worth your time or not.

I'm not going to pretend to have cared about any of the cast, so you'll not get a breakdown of the various acting performances, but there IS a story to tell. Things start with a death at a waterpark. It's all very ki-ki-ki-ma-ma-ma, then it's on to life at the waterpark, which means people having fun in between displaying their dislike of others. You see the different groups, you get the obvious red herrings, and everything builds towards that killer finale. Who is responsible though, and what is their motivation? Sadly, the answer to both of these questions will leave most viewers cold, as nothing is done in a way that actually comes close to the films it is trying to emulate.

First of all, most of the classic slashers start off with a decent kill or a tragic accident (one that motivates the killer, of course, as they are either the direct victim or driven mad by the tragedy). Although this starts with a kill, it's not impressive enough.

Second, start the bodycount. Some slasher movies pace themselves, some quick kills here and there on the way to the big reveal of all the corpses in the third act, and some just go all out to provide a constant stream of gore and bloodshed. Aquaslash forgets this factor, with almost a whole hour between proper kills.

Third, you usually have a cast full of potential victims and suspects. This doesn't. The cast all do their job - Nicolas Fontaine, Lanisa Dawn, and Brittany Drisdelle are the nominal leads, in my view - but they aren't allowed to have any fun in a way that puts them on a par with their counterparts from decades ago. Which means viewers struggle to have any investment, in terms of connection or simple entertainment value.

Gauthier has good intentions, which is all clear when you get to the absolutely superb final set-piece, but it's hard to think how someone can attempt to use the classic slasher template and end up with something so far off the mark, and lacking a proper sense of fun.

5/10

Mubi Monday: Matthias & Maxime (2019)

Xavier Dolan is sickeningly talented for someone so young. Seriously. I have now seen a fair number of his movies. They may not all be outright winners, but they are very impressive for someone who looks to be about twenty years old.

Matthias & Maxime is all about friendship, but it is a very different look at the strong bonds that form between close friends. This may not be in the same ballpark as something like Chuck & Buck, but it is certainly close enough to hear the crowd roar and smell the aroma of the various snacks.

Gabriel D' Almeida Freitas is Matthias, best friend of Maxime (Dolan). Maxime has various struggles. He has gone through life with a large birthmark on his face, is constantly battling against the will of his ill mother (Anne Dorval), and generally doesn't seem to have things as sorted and balanced as Matthias. All of that changes when the two young men agree to star in a short film, and end up in a scene where they share a kiss.

Brilliantly handled by Dolan, who is once again writing, directing, AND starring in his work, Matthias & Maxime moves from one exploration of friendship and love to the next, whether it is the ramifications of the kiss, the arguments that Maxime has with his mother, or just the different dynamics that come about when our two leads are in the company of others, sometimes while settled and sometimes while wanting to bring underlying tension to the surface.

Both Dolan and Freitas do very well in their roles, each one going on a different, but no less emotionally turbulent, journey. Freitas has the moments that could make him harder to like, but the script always tries to give an idea of bad behaviour stemming from confusion and/or pain. Dorval makes a very strong impression in her few scenes, highlighting another way in which loved ones can hurt one another. There are others in the cast, all doing good work, but this central trio do most of the lifting of the material.

Another excellent film from Dolan, who has already created a body of work more impressive and mature than many who have decades of experience ahead of him, this should please fans of his work. And anyone new to his filmography could easily start here and figure out if they want to see more of his stuff.

8/10

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Netflix And Chill: I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House (2016)

Oz Perkins has now made three movies, one of which I have yet to see. His directorial debut, February AKA The Blackcoat's Daughter, is one that many people stumbled across, only to find that they were very impressed by it. It was an atmospheric work, one that jumped around time and space, piecing together a puzzle that revealed a spooky and sad picture.

I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House is another atmospheric work, and also jumps around time and space, AND ALSO pieces together a puzzle that reveals a spooky and sad picture. It shows Perkins to be more confident in his abilities, and more confident in the patience and abilities of anyone viewing his film.

Ruth Wilson plays Lily, a nurse who ends up working in the home of Iris Blum (Paula Prentiss). Iris has written some enjoyably creepy work, but Lily doesn't normally read such stuff. She's too easily scared. But she decides to check out something that Iris wrote, something that she thinks may be tied to the real history of the house in which she has found herself.

Dark and oppressive, yet also light (thanks to the nature of the lead character), I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House is a traditional ghost story in almost every sense, apart from the way in which certain scenes are lined up alongside one another. It's all very much on a par with the kind of atmospheric tales you know and love from Henry James and Shirley Jackson, but Perkins also does himself a favour by not including absolutely every trope and creaky door you might expect.

Wilson gives one of her best performances in the main role, and she never really does less than very good indeed in her work. She's there to do a job, to care for someone who has nobody else at her side, and she often walks through the house like some kind of illuminated will-o'-the-wisp. Prentiss has a lot less to do, the film belongs largely to Wilson and Lucy Boynton (playing Polly, another young woman who is inextricably linked to the house), but does just fine.

Perkins has a great knack for taking the elements of a particular subgenre and reshuffling them in a way that allows his films to feel both fresh and veritably overflowing with blood drained from many tales that have been told before. Perhaps not the best kind of film for those who have enjoyed some mainstream bumps and jumps, this should still strike a chord with horror fans who can enjoy a modern spin on some gothic melodrama and tragedy.

Beautifully constructed, nicely scored (by Elvis Perkins), perfectly cast (there's even a nice small role for Bob Balaban), and effectively spooky, this deserves to be seen and appreciated by patient viewers.

8/10

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Shudder Saturday: The Bone Box (2020)

The only feature film, to date, written and directed by Luke Genton, The Bone Box is a slightly messy affair that doesn't quite make you forget the low budget. Yet there is definitely enough here to enjoy, and to mark Genton out as someone worth keeping an eye on.

The plot sees young Benji (Aaron Schwartz) in some dire financial trouble. So dire, in fact, that he has indulged in a bit of grave-robbing. Viewers don't have to see this macabre act, they are told of it as he discusses things with his friend, Elodie (Michelle Krusiec). Helping his elderly Aunt Florence (Maria Olsen), Benji may be an opportunistic and horrible scammer, or he may be genuinely trying to help out as he also attempts to dig his way out of a hole. Things get worse, and creepier, when Benji starts to suspect that he is being visited by the spirits of those he has robbed.

Let's not pretend otherwise here, there's more than a touch of The Conjuring and Insidious about the execution of this material. Genton peppers the film with a mix of subtle moments and enjoyable "boo" jump scared, the latter becoming more and more prevalent in the enjoyably busy third act, where more and more dangers are added to the mix and you know everything is due to bite the lead character on his ass, as it were.

Schwartz does a decent enough job in his role. He responds well to the moments that induce fear in his character, and he manages to be surprisingly easy to like for someone taken to a bit of grave-robbing. Krusiec is a very good co-star, being an excellent best friend, the type who can accept all your failings, but also try to warn you against making things worse. And Olsen, a familiar face to genre fans, has what I think may well be her best role yet, and one she relishes accordingly, in the form of the elderly aunt, blissfully ignorant of the worst things happening around her.

It is very much a "paint by numbers" horror movie, and those who aren't fans of the supernatural shenanigans we have had from the likes of James Wan and Leigh Whannell should just avoid it, but being so competently put together, even if a bit familiar and predictable to some, isn't terrible, especially when you have sat through so many lesser movies that try to do the same thing and fail.

7/10

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Sputnik (2020)

I don't think I have seen anything else from director Egor Abramenko, but I'll be looking forward to anything he does next. Which I guess already clues you in on my opinion of Sputnik, his feature debut. Co-written by Oleg Malovichko and Andrei Zolotarev (who both also co-wrote the very enjoyable Attraction, although Zolotarev seems to have confused IMDb by being credited there as Andrey Zolotarev - has to be the same person though, surely), this is quite possibly one of the best sci-fi horrors that I've seen in quite some time.

It's the early 1980s and two Russian cosmonauts find themselves in a bit of trouble. Upon landing, one has the misfortune of being a bit dead. The other, Konstantin (played by Pyotr Fyodorov), is clearly not quite himself. A young psychiatrist, Dr. Tatyana Klimova (Oksana Akinshina), is recruited to help Konstantin process all that has happened to him, despite the moments he can no longer remember. But there's something much more wrong with her patient than she could have imagined and when Dr. Klimova finds out just what is going on, well, she may struggle to find a solution that keeps Konstantin safe and keeps herself from being an insubordinate in the eyes of the man who brought her in to do her job (Colonel Semiradov, played by Fedor Bondarchuk).

As it is on the main movie advertising imagery, I don't think it's a major spoiler to say that Konstantin has come back from his space mission a changed man. That part of the movie is pretty much a given, and the opening minutes show this. Sputnik is not about any hidden secret, at least not in the usual way. It's about something very strange happening that people in power look to use in a way that is beneficial to them, and to hell with the consequences.

Akinshina is an excellent lead, her character established in her first scene (defending herself in front of a panel because she saved a patient by temporarily drowning them). She gives off just the right air of wanting to play the political game, within reason, but also not letting anything get in the way of her saving lives. Fyodorov may have a much lesser role (the film is less about him, and more about what has happened to him), but does well, and Bondarchuk is the kind of stern superior officer you expect to find in any '80s-set movie featuring Russian military.

Malovichko and Zolotarev do great work with their script, giving you plenty of standard genre beats while also adding a layer of palpable tension as our lead character realises just how much trouble she may get herself in if she tries to do the right thing. The details of the main "problem" are well-detailed, and everything is set up in the opening act to lead viewers through some twists and turns on the way to a cracking finale.

Abramenko does plenty to distract you from the fact that the film maintains a tight focus, and budget-friendly selection of limited sets. The space-set opening is short and sweet, and other locations are shown occasionally, allowing you not to feel too confined in the main area that has everyone working and observing Konstantin, and a decent amount of money has been spent wisely on getting some top-notch CGI onscreen. It feels necessary, but not overdone.

Something rarer and rarer nowadays, this was a film that I only started to notice when I saw others had marked it off their watchlist. I'm glad that it piqued my interest, and hope many other horror fans check it out. Superior genre entertainment.

8/10

https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews

Lake Michigan Monster (2018)

Written and directed by Ryland Brickson Cole Tews, who also has the lead role, Lake Michigan Monster is a black and white cheesefest that many viewers may well end up outright hating. I really liked it. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think it may become a firm favourite. Which is odd, because I was slightly nonchalant as the end credits rolled.

Tews plays Seafield, the kind of old-fashioned sailor type who looks as if he enjoys the feel of saltwater splashing his skin and a good smoke of a pipe. Not at the same time, of course. Anyway, Seafield gathers together a team of people he hopes will help him capture the titular monster, a creature that killed his father some time ago. The team includes a former member of the Navy (Dick Flynn, played by Daniel Long), a sonar operator (Nedge Pepsi, played by Beulah Peters), and a weapons expert named Sean Shaughnessy (Erick West). As soon as they get close to potentially capturing the monster, the motives of Seafield are called into question.

With a budget that would probably make even make a young Robert Rodriguez turn pale, a plot as flimsy as service station loo roll paper, and no minimum standard required for any of the jokes zipping across the screen, this will be dismissed by many, or will torture those who give it a watch without being fully aware of what they are letting themselves in for.

Knowing is half the battle though, and if you know what this is then you can, I hope, sit back and enjoy something that has been put together with more love, care, and a desire to genuinely please viewers than a hundred slicker movies from the past decade.

Although a lot of the fun comes from the limited resources, and this requires Tews to either skirt around or emphasise those limitations, nobody involved acts as if they don't have to care about things. Which may seem like a small thing, but it really isn't (not when you think of movies with much bigger budgets that feel much less considerate to those watching).

The acting is in line with the overall tone of the material, the special effects are designed to get by on charm, rather than spectacle, and it's all plotted out in a way that feels nonsensical without making you feel irritated at the ultimate pointlessness of it all (somehow). I struggle to think of why I found this so endearing, while films made with similar intentions sometimes leave me rather cold, and I think it's simply that the humour works. It has a constant sense of absurdity that runs parallel to the central quest, with no individual gag being all that great, or memorable, but each one being added to the next to create a, well, a kind of mural of mirth.

The whole thing clocks in at just under 80 minutes, which makes it an easy choice to fit into your viewing schedule, even it's really 50/50 on whether you end up liking or disliking it. I hope you like it.

7/10

https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews

Prime Time: Exhibit A (2007)

I had this found footage movie recommended to me by a friend. Don't let the same thing happen to you. In fact, just consider how much you really trust your friends.

I am being silly, of course. It was a recommendation I accepted willingly, and with enthusiasm, but I am going to balance things out now by warning others away from what I view as a highly flawed, and disappointing, viewing experience.

Bradley Cole is Andy King, an oddball head of a family unit of four (his wife is Sheila, played by Angela Forrest, his typical teen son is Joe, played by Oliver Lee, and his daughter, Judith, played by Brittany Ashworth). Everything is looking up. Andy is up for a promotion, which means the family will move into a new home, and their finances will receive a nice boost. If all goes well. Meanwhile, Judith is filming everything as she processes some confusing feelings and Andy constantly tests the patience of his loved ones with his constant mugging and attempts to make others laugh, no matter the cost.

Written and directed by Dom Rotheroe, developing an idea by Darren Bender, Exhibit A just doesn't manage to become really interesting or thrilling, and that's due to a number of reasons. First of all, the actual title and imagery used to advertise the film keys viewers in to the fact that something is going to go horribly wrong. Second, the script isn't good enough to distract anyone from the obvious plotting en route to a disappointingly predictable final act. It's also yet another one of these movies that doesn't really give a good enough reason for someone to be using the camera to record every main moment in their life.

Third, and separate from the other two issues, is the varying quality of the acting. Although nobody completely stinks up the screen, nobody feels as natural as they should. Cole is especially jarring, mainly as he is the focus of so many scenes, and has to carry the film on his shoulders, but Ashworth and Lee are hit and miss, while Forrest is the most believable of them all, as the wife who has to be the responsible adult of the household. Even then, however, the script requires her to be more oblivious to some obvious signs of things going amiss than any average person.

It's not a bad idea, especially with the very firm grounding in reality that is there for the first third of the film, but Exhibit A isn't entertaining enough to make up for its failings, and isn't gripping enough to make up for the lack of entertainment.

3/10

https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews

Repossessed (1990)

Here it is, The Exorcist spoof you never knew you needed. Or wanted. It's strange to think that this was in UK video stores before The Exorcist itself was deigned suitable for British adults to view in a certificated video form in their own homes (you can look up the history of the film with the BBFC to see what I mean, although many horror fans will already know what I mean).

Anyway, written and directed by Bob Logan, this is a film that relies on two main bits of canny casting. First of all, Linda Blair plays Nancy Aglet, a woman who has her head turned by the devil. Second, Leslie Nielsen plays Father Mayii, the elderly priest who may be the one to save Nancy.

The story is all about Nancy, a married mother of two, becoming alarmed when she starts to utter profanities and spew pea soup. She asks for help from Father Luke Brophy (Anthony Starke), but this also brings her unwanted attention from two fake celebrities (played by Ned Beatty and Lana Schwab) who think they can cure her and get great ratings. Maybe the only one who can really help is Father Mayii, but he is reluctant to take the chance.

Logan throws everything he can at the wall here, and some of it sticks. You gets lots of obvious gags based directly on the source material (the "lick me" turn, as silly as it is, always makes me laugh), and you get lots of tangents, such as the scenes showing Father Mayii trying to get himself fitter and stronger. Unfortunately, the gags that miss the mark sometimes miss by a wide margin. Perhaps the worst moment has an incongruous rap interlude from Father Brophy, it's cringe-inducing to watch nowadays, but there are also a number of moments breaking the fourth wall that are never as witty as they think they are.

Kudos to Blair for accepting the role and having fun with something that derives comedy from her most famous performance, and Starke does well for a lot of his main scenes, but Beatty and Schwab are underused, while Nielsen is overused, often mugging and delivering his lines in a way that undermines the potential laughs.

Many people may still have fond memories of this spoof, but it doesn't hold up very well. The better gags still work, they just remain so few and far between, and nothing is done in a way that manages to distract from how cheap and careless it all is.

410

https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews