Sunday, 1 July 2012

My Top 20 Horror Movie Quotes/Dialogue Exchanges.

An excuse to share some of my favourite moments in horror? A way to avoid writing up another review while I play EIFF 2012 catch up? A blatant attempt to create a series of links to Amazon products that may tempt you into buying stuff? This blog post is all of this and more and I hope that you enjoy this selection of 20 horror highlights as much as I do.

20) "Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make." - a classic moment from a true horror icon, in every way.

19) "Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright." - another Universal classic.

18) "Oh, in the name of God! Now I know what it feels like to be God!" - correct me if I'm mistaken but I believe this was one of the lines of dialogue that caused quite a stir when this 1931 classic was released.

17) "I kick ass for the Lord!" - Peter Jackson hasn't made a bad movie but this one may still be his best, despite very strong competition.

16) "The box. You opened it. We came." Though this film has two other gems in the form of: "No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering" and "Jesus wept."

15) "One, two, Freddy's coming for you. / Three, four, better lock your door. / Five, six, grab your crucifix. / Seven, eight, gonna stay up late. / Nine, ten, never sleep again." - the rhyme to keep you safe from Freddy. I was lucky enough to receive this Bluray set from my lovely wife at Christmas and I highly recommend it.

14) "Hi, I'm Chucky, and I'm your friend till the end. Hidey-ho!" - okay, it may not be the best line ever but this is yet another piece of material elevated by the delivery. And the menace that develops throughout the movie.

13) "Oh, what is all this? I mean, you've got fake biology, fake religion... Sir, have these children never heard of Jesus? "
"Himself the son of a virgin, impregnated, I believe, by a ghost..."
You know that it's time for your appointment with . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . this solid gold classic.

12) "They're going to make you one of them, my peacock!" - yes indeed. 80 years later has done little to dull the shock and power of Tod Browning's classic.

11) "All right. We're gonna do this the scanner way. I'm gonna suck your brain dry! Everything you are is gonna become me. You're gonna be with me Cameron, no matter what. After all, brothers should be close, don't you think?" - so many great Cronenberg movies to choose from but this one always stuck in my mind, ironically.

10) "We're just one big happy family... except for a little incest and psychosis." If you haven't seen the gloopy FX work of Screamin' Mad George in this movie then rectify that ASAP.

9) "I hate 'em when they ain't been shaved." Bill Paxton tries to steal every scene that he's in.

8)  "Some kind of instinct. Memory of what they used to do. This was an important place in their lives." The consumer mentality that remains after death is explained in this Romero classic.

7) "I met him, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes... the *devil's* eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply... evil."
Yes, I have always admitted that I'm a Carpenter fanboy and this movie is why.

6) This* -

The Bluray will be released later this year and, having seen the film again on the big screen, I urge fans to put it at the top of their shopping list.

5) "Watch your tongue, boy, if you like this job!"
     "Like this job?"
Yet another laugh out loud line from a quality zombie comedy. This Bluray is, IMO, essential.

4) " I don't think so. We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound "fine"?" - never mind that second Godfather movie, THIS is the sequel that many horror fans pick as their favourite.

3) "Who's going to believe a talking head? Get a job in a sideshow." The words are great but the delivery raises this to absolute classic status, which is the big plus of the whole movie.

2) A tie between "a naked American man stole my balloons" and "I didn't mean to call you a meat loaf, Jack" - both from my favourite werewolf movie of all time.

1) "I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THIS FUCKING COUCH!" - my favourite ever line from one of my favourite ever horror movies.

I am always vocal about such lists, you can never please everyone all of the time, but I'm also able to stand up and give it a go when the urge takes me so please let me know your own favourites, any major omissions and anything included here that makes you want to tear your hair out/unfriend me/throw eggs at my house/etc, etc.

*I know what some people may think, and I agree. That moment from Jaws is up there with the greatest movie moments of all time. If this was a general Top 20 then it would probably have the number one spot. But it isn't. This is my horror list and, as such, I placed it at number 6 but gave it the respect of sharing it in all of its glory.


  1. Some great choices, there, along with some significantly less than great, but I'm not really one to criticize, as even I couldn't create a list like this with which I would agree.

    Favorite movie lines = a HUGE subject, one not significantly narrowed by limiting it to horror flicks. In CEMETERY MAN, alone, you have:

    "Y'know, you've got a really nice ossuary!"

    "Do they try to climb in at night?"

    "You can't shoot me--I'm the mayor!"

    "Damn, the weather’s gone bad."

    "You threw up on me. How sweet."

    "Twice--the third one was faked."

    "Mind your business--I shall be eaten by whomever I please!"

    That's a great line you picked from RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, but that's another one full of great, quotable dialogue.

    "You mean the movie lied?!"

    "What, you think this is a fuckin' costume?"

    "I'm into sex and death"; "Great--fuck off and die."

    Others: The "There's no more room in hell" speech. And "They're us."

    "Now let's kill that fuckin' band!"

    "They're eating the guests, sir."

    And on and on. Great topic!

  2. Very true, sir.

    To be honest, I haven't watched Cemetery Man in years (even though I bought it a few months ago) so this list just relied on my memory and some cutting and pasting from IMDb, haha.

    It was actually while watching The Revenant the other day that I started to think about Re-Animator and my favourite line from it, which is the one up there. And that led me to this post, lists of this type almost always put the listmaker on a hiding to nothing but it's good to just prod a few memories and have people agree/disagree sometimes.

    Glad you enjoyed some of them, at least.

    P.S. I ALMOST went for the "no more room in hell" speech.