Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Class Of Nuke 'Em High (1986)

I know what you'll be thinking when you scroll down to read my rating. 8/10? EIGHT out of TEN???? Of course, when compared to the likes of something like Citizen Kane or The Shawshank Redemption or even The Dark Knight this score seems ridiculous. But take this movie on it's own, dubious, merits and rate it according to what it sets out to do and how it does it and 8/10 seems fair to me. In the realm of low-budget craziness it's a jewel in Troma's crown.

The story (stop laughing now, wipe your eyes and read on) is all about a school that's placed a little bit too close to a nuclear power plant, resulting in some awful, unfortunate pupil deaths and also the growth of some super-strong drugs that provide very bad side effects. A young couple (Warren and Chrissy) try to develop their burgeoning relationship while things around them descend into anarchy, insanity and even death.

This movie is not about great acting. It's not about a great script. It's not even about a remotely believable premise. Not at all. This movie is about people melting, bikers acting hard, nightmares about the consequences of sexual encounters, a massive monster that can punch all the way through someone's head and the most hilarious double-take in movie history (when Warren's mates see him making out with Chrissy, it has to be seen to be disbelieved). It also helps that Janelle Brady, playing Chrissy, is very attractive.

So there you have most of the plus points covered. See it if you think you may glean some enjoyment from it but if you have any doubt at all . . . . . then you're probably best just to leave it for the mad fans like myself.


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